


Enasal Lavellan

by Word_Spinner



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Gen, dragon age inquisistion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 87
Words: 137,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25803535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Word_Spinner/pseuds/Word_Spinner
Summary: Enasal Lavellan was sent by her clan to spy on the Conclave with the promise of unbinding her name and allowing her to rejoin the clan.She now must save a world she barely knows or understands - but she can't close the Breach alone.She's too short to reach it.*note*  Links in the text show music that I listened to as I worked.  Feel free to check it out or read while it plays if you're so inclined.
Relationships: Female Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlItcxGoOT0 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlItcxGoOT0)

Enasal was exhausted. Nearly a month of travel across land and sea had drained her. The tedious walking - stopping only to sleep, hunt, and eat. The trip across the Waking Sea, where she spent most of her time throwing up over the side of the boat. And then back to walking.

But she went quickly. Her old Keeper always said she was quick and fierce - but the new Keeper saw her as a burden the clan didn't need. Enasal knew that the rest of the clan would breathe a sigh of relief that she would be away from them.

Her pack grew heavier each day, but as she reached the first mountaintop and saw the Temple of Sacred Ashes, the weight on her shoulders seemed to lift.

Only a day away.

Enasal crept around the outskirts of the temple, hood over her head in hopes of hiding her pointed ears and the Vallaslin under her eyes. Taking advantage of the sheer number of people, Enasal slipped into the temple.

  
  


[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlItcxGoOT0 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlItcxGoOT0)

Everything hurt. 

Enasal stumbled up, wiping her eyes. Green fog, impossible structures, chunks of earth floating in the air. 

She was in the fade.

A sickeningly familiar sound - the skittering of eight massive legs. She drew her blades and readied herself.

One, four, fifteen, uncountable.

Knowing it was a fight she couldn’t win, she ran. Dodging structures, jumping over debris, and leaping over gaps. From the corner of her eye, she saw a light and turned on her heels towards it.

Someone stood in the light, backlit so thoroughly that she couldn’t see who or what it was. 

Spirit or person, she launched herself up the flight of crumbling stairs, grabbing what she now knew was a woman's hand and -

  
  
  
  


Everything hurt - worse.

Disoriented, she went to stand, but shackles kept her hands together and a hand came down on her shoulder.

"Stay down, knife-ear."

Green light flared up and searing pain ripped through her. She clutched her left hand, cursing under her breath.

"Maybe we should cut her hands off." one muttered, “Mages can't cast without their hands."

She wasn't a mage, but Enasal stayed quiet. They were angry, and angering shemlens was a bad idea. She had heard of elves angering shemlems, only to have shems drag them away and cut the pointed tips of their ears off. 

Her old Keeper had always said shemlems were unpredictable and quick to anger. She would need to choose her words carefully.

She flinched when the door swept open. Two women, one who seemed gentle and one who seemed dangerous.

The dangerous woman strode toward her, her face inches from her own.

"Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now."

Enasal mouth opened, but she had suddenly forgotten how to speak. 

"The Conclave is gone -and _you_ are the only one left."

" _Ir abelas_ -"

One of the guards spoke up , "Speak Common, knife-ear!"

Oh Creator, she had forgotten Common. How did Common work? How did you say _Ir_ again?

The gentle woman glared. "Leave us - _all_ of you."

Grumbling, they shuffled out, the one who had threatened her hands spitting before leaving.

The dangerous woman grabbed the shackles holding her as the green light flared and pain shot up her arm. "Explain _this._ "

 _I! I_ is how you said _Ir!_ Common flowed back into her brain and the words finally formed.

Eyes on the floor, she said, "I don't know." 

"What do you mean, 'I don't know'?"

This was the end. They were going to kill her. Cut off her ears and burn the Vallisin from her face. She felt the tears form, praying as she tried to swallow the tears down. She shouldn't show weakness, she should be polite but proud. Instead, she was shivering. Despite her attempts, she could feel hot tears on her face.

The dangerous woman's arm was up - maybe she'd knock her out, maybe hard enough to kill her outright.

Her arm was grabbed by the gentle woman. Her hair was red under her hood, and Erasal felt a sort of kinship. Her own hair was firey and unruly, while this woman's was neat and well-kept, but still. Enasal and her sister were the only redheads in her clan - maybe _she_ was the only redhead here.

"Cassandra, stop. Look at her, she is shaking. She is the only one left -we need her."

"She might have caused it? She might have killed the Most Holy!"

"The only one?" Enasal's voice was barely a whisper. "But..." How many had been at the Conclave, what had happened to make her the only survivor?

"Do you remember anything?" The redhead asked.

Enasal hesitated. "I was in the fade, and there were spiders and buildings and…" She trailed off.

"And how did you escape?" Cassandra demanded.

"I… there were all these spiders and I was running, too many to fight, you see and-"

"You've already told us about the spiders!"

Enasal looked down, "I saw a light and a woman."

"A woman?" the redhead asked.

Enasal nodded, "Maybe a spirit, or another survivor?" Those people are really dead? All of them?"

 _"All_ of them."

"How?"

Cassandra looked toward the other woman, "Go to the camp, Leliana, I'll take her to the rift."

Enasal looked at Leliana - she seemed gentle, kind. It might have been a trick, but she would try her luck.

"Leliana, _halani_ , no _, no, Ir -_ I mean _help!_ Don't let her-"

"You will not be harmed." Cassandra said gruffly, yanking her up. "I am told, you might be the key to fixing all this." 

Her shackles were removed, and she was taken into the blinding daylight.


	2. Chatper 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Solas and Varric have joined the party.
> 
> Enasal and Co. continue to make their way to the Breach, but Enasal's injuries prove to be too much for her.

<https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WixY-7Bb3lY>

“We call it the Breach.”  
Humming in her ears, rumbling in the earth, and strange magic filling the air with a buzzing taste of blood. She touched her lips, and felt around in her mouth for wounds. The taste was in the very air.  
“It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It’s not the only rift, just the largest. It appeared after the explosion of the Conclave.”  
Enasal’s eyes darted this way and that. Magic had caused this, and it was nothing she wanted to touch. This wasn’t like her old Keepers magic, nor like the magic of the mages in her clan. It was old magic, bad magic. .  
The flaring strike of green brought her to her knees. This time, she didn’t cry - she set her jaw and stumbled up, cradling her cursed hand.  
Cassandra pulled her up - not quite so roughly this time. “Every time the Breach grows, your mark spreads - and it is killing you.”  
Enasal met Cassandra’s eyes for the first time. They were the eyes of someone who is more worn down than anyone should be.  
“But,” she continued, “It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn’t much time.”  
“This?” Enasal thrust her hand in front of Cassandra, “This can fix that?” She pointed to the wavering sky.   
“We’ll discover the truth shortly. It’s our only chance - and yours.”  
Enasal’s attention was so set on the hole in the sky, that she had yet to look at the crowd just below. Shemlem everywhere. They were muttering to each other, nudging each other, and pointing at her. There was no attempt to hide their contempt, no attempt to hide that they were talking about here.  
Murderer. Knife-ear. Must be blood magic. Killed Most Holly. Dalish savage.  
Creators, they wanted to kill her.  
Cassandra grabbed her arm, steadying her. “You will come to no harm.” She barked, more towards the crowd than to Enasal. She didn’t let her go until the gates were open and they were away from the crowd. “They need someone to blame.” She said, “Our Most Holy Divine, mages and templars, so many lost lives. And a chance of peace, lost.”   
“You really think I did it?”  
Cassandra looked away, “You will have a trial. It is all I can promise.” With a quick turn, she marched forward with a call of “Open the gates!”  
Enasal was quick but injured. She would normally have no problem keeping up with any shemlen, and would most likely outrun them. Bruises all over her body, her breath on fire in her lungs, flaring with every sharp breath.   
Another strike of pain and flame of green.   
For a breath, everything was black.   
Cassandra pulled her up, “The pulses are coming faster. The larger the Breach grows, the more rifts will appear, the more demons we face.”  
“Why am I here? Why did I survive?”  
Cassandra kept pulling her along, but she had trained her eyes to the Breach. “They say a rift appeared and you fell out - then it closed. Everything else is gone” She looked her up and down. “As fast as you can.”  
Enasal nodded, resolving to ignore the pain until this was finished.   
The earth rumbled with the screams of men and women dying, frantic for survival, and taken down to their most basic of instincts - to flee or fight. Enasal was prepared to do either as soon as a chance came around. Just ahead, she saw the glint unattended dagger. As they passed she grabbed it and tucked it into her coat. She did the same with another that had fallen loose of its dead master’s sheath.  
She had no desire to stab anyone in the back, but she would not go into a situation with demons and unstable shemlens unarmed.  
Enasal was thrown aside bu a blast, falling and crumpling onto the frozen river below. She could hear Cassandra gasp - she must have gotten the wind knocked out of her. Enasal pushed herself up to see a stone crashed into the ice. Parts of the bridge and soldiers fell underneath it. Enasal saw the green shimmer still evaporating from the bolder - it looked liked demons weren’t the only thing that the fade was dumping into their world.

  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kavadjbCf0&list=PLCYSEgTKs_h8yOtMI3DCUCQko_v5LJWYU&index=12&t=0s

“Stay behind me!” Cassandra shoved Enasal behind her. Sword drawn and shield up, Cassandra called out to the demon ahead of her. She swung and blocked, parried, and bashed with her shield.   
Nobody should fight demons alone.   
Daggers out, she started into a run, shifting and staying low to slide on the ice and into the creature, her daggers going in up to the hilts. It gave a scream that sounded like many voices in a cacophony. It struck Enasal in the back, sliding her into the river edge.   
Taking advantage of the distraction, Cassandra sunk her sword into the creature, ushering a final scream before it dissolved back into the fade.  
Cassandra pointed at her, sword still drawn. “Drop your weapons!”  
Erasal gritted her teeth. The blade was no more than the length of her hand - why would someone with armor worry about that?   
She showed Cassandra her blades and shook her head. “You said you brought me to help. If you want me to go through demons to help you, then I need to be able to defend myself.” Enasal swallowed before putting on her bravest face and saying, “If I die, everyone dies. I will keep my weapons.”  
Cassandra was deciding. Brow furrowed, eyes squinting at her.   
“Fine. I cannot leave you defenseless.”   
Sliding across the ice, they finally made it back to the path. The path was lined with the dead and dying. She could still hear the fighting. She wished she cover her ears.  
“Where are your soldiers?” Erasal shouted over the noise.  
“At the forward camp, we’re -”  
More ice, more demons. They came as wavering green shadows and screaming monsters. With every stab, every slash and gash, Erasal wanted her own blades. They were longer and sharper - these blades might not even be able to cut through cheese, much less bone.  
With every victory, they ran, and as soon as Enasals’s heart rate had gotten back to normal were they beset by more.   
They were going back up another hill.   
Why was there another hill?  
Running wasn’t fun, here.  
“The rift, hurry!”  
It was like the breach, just smaller. Pieces of the earth had crumbled into the fade, leaving glowing holes and scorched dirt.   
A group of men were fighting demons that fell from the rift. Two soldiers were trying to keep the monster off a mage that was flinging spells at the creatures. Enasal dove in, adrenaline pumping in her veins. She wasn’t at her best. Cold, injured, and exhausted.  
“Duck, kid”  
She tucked herself down and into a roll, temporarily away from the creature. When she leapt back to her feet she saw the creature fall, an arrow in its head.   
“This your attempt at humor, Seeker?” He shouted, reloading his weapon and firing it into another demon.  
A blast of fire beside her, consuming the final demon. How had she missed that?  
The mage - an elf she now realized, took hold of her arm. “Quickly, before more come through!”  
It was like being stretched. Her hand pulsed and glowed, forming a snaking green river to the rift above. Her heart was pounding, faster and faster as the light from her hand ebbed and flowed, her heart fluttering like the wings of a bird before was pushed back with a blast.  
Enasal fell backwards into the snow, shaking her head as she backed away from the scene.  
“What did you do?” Enasal asked the mage, pressing her hand against herself as though he would reach out and grab it again.  
The man leaned on his staff and smiled, “I did nothing. The credit is yours.”  
Enasal started shaking her head again, pointing where the mark had been. “No, no, no, no, that was caused by magic, and I can’t do magic!”  
“That could be,” The mage answered, “But the same magic that opened Breach marked your hand. I theorized that the mark might be able to close the rifts - and I was correct.”  
Cassandra turned to him, “Meaning it could close the Breach, as well?”  
He gave a slow nod, “Perhaps.” HIs smile returned, “It seems you hold the key to our salvation.  
“Good, to know!” The archer called out, returning from higher ground and walking towards them. A dwarf, and a very relaxed one at that, given the situation. “Here I thought we’d be ass-deep in demons forever.”  
He looked at Enasal and turned to Cassandra, “What did your people do to her?”  
“We did nothing to her. She is as she was when she returned from the fade. We shackled her, that was all.”  
He ignored the rebuttal and bent down to help Enasal up. “You alright? You look bad.  
 _Don't you dare start crying again._  
Enasal nodded.   
The dwarf grinned, “In that case, Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwanted tagalong.”  
For the first time since she had entered Haven, she smiled. “Thank you, Varric. I'm glad to have met you.”  
The mage chuckled.  
Varric turned back to grin at him. “Off to the Breach, Seeker?”  
Cassandra shook her head, “Absolutely not! You can not -”  
“Have you been to the valley, Seeker? The tides have turned, you need every person you can get.”  
Cassandra muttered to herself.  
The mage nodded into her direction, “My name is Solas are there to be introductions. I’m pleased to see you’re still alive.”  
Varric pointed at Solas, “He means ‘I kept that mark from killing while you slept’.”  
Solas ignored him, “Cassandra, the magic involved here is unlike any that I have seen.” He looked at Enasal, again slumped on the ground “Mage or not, a person with this much power is difficult to imagine”  
Varric was back beside her, “How bad are you hurt?”  
“I’m not sure, it hurts everywhere.”  
He lowered his voice, “Did they do that to you?”  
Enasal shook her head, “I was like this when I woke up.”  
Varric nodded and pulled her up again before turning his attention to Solas, “She’s in a lot of pain. Chuckles! Seeker! She’s not going to make it if we keep pushing her.”  
“We do not have time, Varric!” Cassandra threw her hands up, “We must go!”  
Solas leaned down and looked her up and down, “I believe Varric is right. I cannot heal her injuries, but perhaps I can help with the pain.” He tilted his head to the side in thought. He nodded and said, “Yes, please be still.”  
A glyph lifted from the earth around her, a wind rising and spiriting away the pain.   
Erasal stumbled up with wide eyes, patting down the places that had hurt the most.  
Again leaning on his staff, Solas nodded, “Your injuries are still present, please use caution.”  
“We need to leave!”  
Cassandra again.  
Solas nodded and joined her in the front, while Varric kept a steady pace beside Enasal.  
“So… you’re the one with the mark. You’re good in a fight, all things considered. Where does a kid learn to fight like that?”  
And there it was.  
The height thing.  
“I’m not a kid.” She tried to speed up, but Varric kept pace.  
“Sorry,” He laughed, “I get it, a dwarf has no room to talk about size.”  
Another demon attack. More arrows, blades, and spells. More blood, bruises, and cuts. Easier this time, without her pain and the additional manpower.  
But there was another.  
And another.   
The pain was starting to creep back, from her spine to her fingers. She felt herself slowing down, wincing as the pain reignited Solas gazed back from the front and turned back towards them. “I didn’t realize it would wear off, I’m sorry. Stay still.”  
Again the relief.   
Solas took her arm and examined it. “You have a new wound. After we fight, please examine yourself for additional injuries. Pain exists so we know when we are injured, that should only be overridden when completely necessary.”  
She nodded and looked over at Varric. “I’m twenty-four.”   
“ Good to know.”  
“I’m not a kid.”  
He laughed, “I get it.”  
Downhill. They were finally going downhill.  
“If we survive this, I’ll send everyone notes to spread the word.” He grinned and winked.  
Enasal almost laughed. It was like talking to her sister.  
She missed her sister.  
The air crackled. A sudden vacuum followed by a burst of shimmering air.   
“Another rift.” Solas said, “Be ready.:  
Varric pulled her, “Stay back with me, no need for you to be in the fray.”   
With the demons dead, her hand jerked towards the rift. Heart pounding, feeling like she’d be turned inside out, and finally - the snapback as the rift was closed.  
“Open the gates!”   
Cassandra’s demand was heeded, and the gates were heaved open.  
Erasal leaned on Varric, who was prattling about what she should say at her incoming trial. He was strong enough to carry Enasal, but she was only a hair's width shorter than him, and dragging along nearly dead weight proved difficult. Solas saw the struggle and went back, despite Cassandra’s insistence. Pulling her arm up and supporting her left side, he and Varric managed to get her through the gates.   
Her vision was growing dark and blurry., A loud buzzing throbbed in her ears and the pain of injuries old and new was overwhelming. Varric kneeled in front of her, a hand on her shoulder and saying something.   
“ _Ir numin_ ,” She croaked, “ _Ir abelas_.”  
People were arguing and mourning, Varric was yelling and hovering over her, but it was like listening underwater. Her vision swam and another mage filled her vision. She was saying something that Erasal couldn’t hear over all the other wavering voices.   
The touch of a hand on her forehead sharpened her hearing, slowly bringing back the light and pushing away the pain. On her right arm, she watched as a gash close and saw bruises go purple and green before disappearing completely.  
Enasal might have been the most surprised when she found herself on her feet.   
“Whoa, whoa, take it easy.” Varric said, “Give yourself a minute.”  
“Varric is right,” Echoed Solas, “Stay calm.”  
The first step was a stumble, but a few steps in and she was walking. She saw Leliana and Cassandra arguing with another human over an election.   
Enasal took a deep breath and steeled herself for an argument. “Shouldn't we be more worried about the giant demon-cloud up there?  
Somewhere behind her, Varric was laughing and repeating, “Demon cloud!! That’s brilliant!”  
The other human pointed at her, “You are the cause of this!”  
“Leliana attempted an introduction, “Chancellor Rodrick, this is-”  
“I know who she is!” His head snapped back to Cassandra “Seeker, call a retreat, this is hopeless.”  
“No.” Cassandra argued, “We can stop this before it is too late. “  
Rodrick reared himself up, You won’t survive long enough to reach that...thing, soldiers or not. “  
Cassandra turned to Enasal, “We will charge with the soldiers to the Temple, are you able.”   
Enasal felt just fine. To show just how good she felt she twirled the tiny daggers she had picked up. “I’m ready.”   
Cassandra scoffed and handed her a pair of daggers. Real fighting daggers. “Take these, keep yourself alive.”  
Enasal nodded and found herself looking back to Varric.  
He grinned and crossed his arms over his chest, “Well, Bianca’s excited.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things we have learned:  
> Enasal does not like being kept out of danger.  
> There are a bunch of rifts.

[ Never Look Back ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3kavadjbCf0)

  
  


At a steady jog, the group followed Cassandra. This time, Varric was having a hard time keeping up with her. She slowed to her jog beside him, noticing he was muttering about snow and hills. Enasal wished she could help him as he helped her.

“Who’s Bianca?” She said between breaths.

Varric tapped the crossbow strapped to his back. “Beautiful, isn’t she?”

Enasal laughed, “You named it?”

“I named  _ her _ , my elven friend.”

There was no contempt in his voice when he said “elven”

The constant ache in her heart eased a bit.

Up hills, up stairs, dead and dying strewn about, equipment on fire and belching out thick smoke that stung Enasal’s eyes and scalded her throat.

“Be wary.” Solas called back to her, “Another rift.”

Another crash as debris fell from the sky. Somewhere nearby she heard the screech of a demon and the shouts of people fighting. She took off towards the sound, but wasn’t quick enough - by the time she had gotten to the source of the sound, the last soldier had been cut down. 

“How many rifts  _ are  _ there?” Varric called out.

“We must seal the rift to get past.” Solas shouted back.

Casandra waved them toward the rift “Quickly!”

The source of the demons was straight ahead, and Enasal lunged towards it. Soldiers were fighting the demons, led by a man in full armor. Tall and with an animal hide over his soldiers, he shouted orders as he cut down the creatures.

Enasal slipped from Varric's grip and rushed into the fray. It wasn’t long before her arms were knocked by demons and a claw slashed her back. Arrows plunged into the demon’s around her and spells flew past her hair. The tall man from earlier shouted, “We’re clear!”

The same sensation as her hand was pulled towards the rift. How long would she have to do this? It drained her, as though protesting her attempt to banish it from their world. Again it blasted back as it sealed - though this time Enasal only stumbled back a few steps.

Solas gave a nod, “You’re becoming quite proficient at this.”

The tall man sheathed his sword and walked to them with a shout, “Lady Cassandra, you managed to seal the rift?” He looked over the group before returning to Cassandra, “Well done.”

“I am not the one to thank, Commander.” Cassandra said, jerking her head towards Enasal, “It was the prisoner.”

With Cassandra’s words, she realized she hadn’t told anyone her own name. 

“Enasal. She said, “My name is Enasal.”

“I see.” His brow was furrowed and he examined her, “I hope they’re right about you. We’ve lost a lot of people coming here for you.”

“I can do it.”

He nodded, “That’s all we ask.” He didn’t turn to speak to Cassandra this time - he continued to speak to her.

“The way should be clear. Leliana will try to wait for you there.”

“Then we must move quickly, “Cassandra said, “Give us as much time as you can, commander.”

“Maker watch over you.” He said as he pulled one of his soldiers up, and helped him walk, “For all our sakes.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal attempts to seal the Breach.
> 
> You think the Breach looks bad?  
> Try being able to smell it.

[ Evil Temple ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEEltzTwbE4)

Enasal had forgotten the taste of blood in the air, but this close, the taste had intensified so much that her stomach heaved with nausea. What sort of magic puts the smell and taste of blood into the air itself? Something else too… sulfur and death. She shuddered.

“The Temple of Sacred Ashes.” Solas whispered.

“What’s left of it.” Varric added.

Cassandra gestured to the back of the area, “That is where you fell out of the Fade and our soldiers found you. They said a woman was in the rift behind you.” She looked at Enasal pointedly. “No one knows who she was.”

Enasal couldn't look at the bodies. Cracked and scorched, glowing with red heat that peeked through the cracks. She covered her mouth, trying to keep the taste out of her mouth and her last meal in her stomach. 

And then came the whispers.

Some malicious, some pleading, some so neutral that they sounded as though they were blandly reciting a poem. Enasal once again wished she could cover her ears, but she had an uneasy feeling that it wouldn't help.

“This way!” Cassandra shouted, already far ahead of her. Enasal followed downward to the path, turning the corner -

She gagged.

Loudly.

Varric looked back, “You okay?:

Enasal shook her head, “Can’t you smell it?  _ Taste  _ it? When Varric didn’t answer she turned to Solas, “Can’t  _ you?” _

Solas tilted his head to the side. “What do you smell?”

“Blood,” Enasal gasped, “Sulfur." She shuddered, "What about the whispers - can you hear those?"

Solas furrowed his brow and shook his head.

“We can waste no more time.” Cassandra said, "We must get her to the Breach.”

Varric nudged Enasal, “It’s pretty far up there, especially for you. Have a plan?”

She looked at Varric - short comments didn’t hurt when they came from a dwarf.

_ You get a pass _ , she thought before looking up towards the Breach. A craggy pillar was near it - within arms reach. 

Enasal nodded, “I can climb anything that has a foothold.”

“Thank the maker!” It was Leilana, a group of soldiers in tow, “You’re here.”

Cassandra wasted no time on pleasantries, “Lelianna, have your men take up position around the temple. “

Leliana nodded and began issuing commands.

Cassandra looked down at Enasal. “Are you ready?”

Afraid to open her mouth and be sick, Enasal nodded.

“There is no need to go up.” Solas interrupted, “Over that edge, we can make our stand there.”

“Then we should find a way down.” Cassandra agreed.

The closer they got, the worse Enasal’s stomach turned and the whispers grew louder - she could almost catch a word or two. A shiver ran down her spine and she stopped short at the sound of a voice - not a whisper this time, but a loud and commanding voice.”

“Now is the hour of our victory.” 

It was a rough voice, one impeded by illness or disfigurement. She remembered a member of her clan - he had gone hunting and was mauled by a bear defending her cubs. Claw marks gouged into his face, his lips torn and never to grow back. Her sister said it took part of his tongue and his speech was slurred and clumsy.

“Prepare the Sacrifice.”

Cassandra looked back at her, “What are we hearing?”

“I don’t know.” Enasal was relieved that at least one of the voices could be heard by the others. She shook her head, “I-”

Solas saved her ignorant self with his own idea. “At a guess, the person who created the Breach.”

Varric went to ease Enasal forward with a gentle push, but stopped as they rounded a corner. He yanked her back, “You know this stuff is red Lyrium, Seeker.”

It smelled or rot and sounded of pained cries.

“I see it, Varric.”

“But why is it  _ here?” _

Solas was examining the red crystals that had shorn through the earth. “Magic could have drawn on the lyrium beneath the temple, corrupted it.”

Varric looked up at Enasal and said slowly and firmly. “ _ Don’t _ touch it. Whatever it is, it’s evil.”

The voice from the fade echoed out again. “Keep the sacrifice still.”

“Someone!” A new voice, scared and desperate. “Help me!”

Splintering wood and clash or metal, followed by a rush of Dalish words that stopped suddenly and switched to common, "Get away from her!” Another crash and a choking gasp.

Everyone turned to look at Enasal.

“That was your voice.” Cassandra’s eyes were wide, “Most Holy called out to you, but-”

A flash of light, and there she was, a phantom form with blades in hand and leaping at something. Her phantom was slapped to the ground as easily as a fly.

“Run while you can!” Cried the shemlen Divine, “Warn them!”

“We have an intruder.” The image was vague and flickering, but it was clearly the rumbling voice she had heard before. “Slay the elf.”

With a flash, the images were gone.

Cassandra turned and grabbed Enasal’s arm - hard. “You  _ were  _ there!” Who attacked?” 

“I don’t know!” Enasal tried to pull away.

Cassandra’s grip tightened, “You were there, she asked for your help! Is she… was this vision true?”

“Hey!” Varric snapped, pulling Cassandra off of Enasal. “She said she doesn’t know!”

“If I could assist.” Solas offered, “Those voices are echos of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place.” He looked at the green shimmer in the air, “This rift is not sealed, but it is close… albeit temporarily.” He looked at Enasal and nodded. “You will need to open the rift so it can be sealed. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side. Do you think you can do that?”

Enasal could feel herself shaking. She loved a good fight, but this wasn’t a fight. This was a battle, and she was no soldier.

“I’ll… I’ll try.”

“Open the rift.” Solas reiterated, “When we rid the area of demons you only need to close it, as you did the others.”

“There will be demons!” Cassandra called to the troops.

Swords were unsheathed and bows aimed. Enasal unsheathed the daggers she had been given. With the dire situation came a realization about the conditions of her weapons - one was bigger than the other, two different shapes of blades and handles. She was unbalanced. She looked at the ground and decided not to take off her shoes - she didn’t need to feel it to know the earth here was poison.

“Stay out of the fighting.” Varric whispered, nodding towards the tower, “Don’t listen to what anyone says, once you open the Breach you get up that tower and stay up there until you can close it.”

Enasal nodded.

[ Dark Ritual ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=78mlVwtO4yM) x  [ Darkest Dungeon ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYFU_RiefKk) (A little under ½ volumn)

Under the breach, the stench of the magic was intolerable, and the whispers more malevolent - clearly nobody else could smell or hear it. 

“Open it!” Cassandra ordered.

It was like fire. Closing the rifts were draining, but nothing like tearing this one apart. Her hand burned and it spread like flames over her body. She dug her heels in as the rift began to drag her towards it - and with a sudden flare of light she was knocked back into the nearest wall. 

Why would anyone want to open the skies?

The Breach flared in perfect sync with her own throbbing hand. Out of the Breach, a hulking creature emerged. Massive, with a rocky shell coating its body. Arrows bounced off of it, blades rebound back.

The creature laughed.

“Move! Up the tower!”

Enasal couldn't see Varric, but she obeyed. No armor and subpar weapons - it was the smart choice.

She found a solid handheld and started up. As she climbed she could hear crackles of electricity from below, sharp and jagged that left soldiers smoldering in its wake. 

Tears were coming again.

_ It’s the smart thing.  _ Enasal repeated the phrase in her head,  _ It’s the smart thing to do, no armor, can’t balance on poison, it’s the smart thing. _

“We must strip its defenses,” Cassandra called out, “Wear it down!”

The battle wasn’t going well. There were more men dead than were left fighting. Demons were pouring out of the rift, and they were quickly overwhelming the soldiers.

“Enasal!” Solas called, “Disrupt the rift!”

Disrupt? What did that-

But the mark knew. Her hand was pulled from its handheld towards the rift. She barely saved herself from falling, clinging to the tower with her free hand. No pain, no fear, just a feeling of power, of mastery.

And the realization that she could control it.

She watched as the Breach’s form began to change, the jagged edges cracking and reforming out of control. With every part of her she pushed, willing the explosion that wracked the area.

The demon was no longer laughing. He lunged at a group of soldiers, but arrows were sinking into its once-invulnerable flesh and slices were cut from its legs. The electricity took out more soldiers as Enasal watched from the tower.

It was still dangerous.

People were dying.

Now wasn’t the time to follow orders.

She put her fingers into her mouth, took a deep breath, and let out the loudest whistle she could muster.

It was enough to get the demon’s attention.

With a growl, it made its way towards her, suddenly uninterested in attacking soldiers. It had slowed, but all it took was a swipe of its arms to knock everyone back. He was right below her, letting loose a roar that blew her short hair back with hot, rancid breath.

Enasal took a breath, rolling all her pain and fear into a ball of raging anger,  _ “Na din’an sahlin!” _

She jumped, landing on the beast and holding on for dear life. It roared, attempting to swat her off, but was unable to reach her. With one arm holding tight, and the other grabbing the heavier of her blades, she began striking between the hard plates of its skin, cursing in Dalish. 

Overwhelmed by the attacks, the demon stumbled and fell, dissolving into the fade and dropping Enasal to the debris-strewn floor. 

“Quickly!” Cassandra shouted, “Seal the Breach!”

Blood-splattered and with fire in every breath, Enasal wretched her arm upward toward the wavering tear. She jerked forward as she pushed it closed, repeating the order in her head as a mantra. Her hand jerked back and she was launched into the air, landing on the upper level in a heap.

Enasal rolled over, her breaths ragged and painful. Again, voices around her were unclear and her vision was blurry. Tears streamed down her face as she looked up to the sky.

The Breach was still there. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal learns her role as Herald of Andraste and struggles to understand the Common language.

##  Chapter 5

[ Zelda Music To Relax/Study/Work/Game ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5AZeNGB6Ds)

Enasal woke up in a panic. 

Chains, kidnapped, battles, the dead.

Hands were on her, trying to keep her still.

She couldn’t breathe, it was like fire.

“Enasal! Stay still - Enasal!”

The hands on her were broad and strong, one on her shoulder and the other on her head. Somewhere she knew it was meant to be a calming gesture, but in her panicked state, all she could think of was the first man she had met in this place. The man who had shoved her onto the floor and called her knife-ear.

“Varric, excuse me.” A different set of hands, slender and smaller. He was talking to her, different words in different tongues, and finally, something came through.

_ “Mala et, da’len. Atish’an.” _

Her eyes opened with a gasp.

“ _ There _ she is!” She looked up at Varric, sitting back down in his chair and patting her forehead, “You were right, Chuckles, a little Dalish claimed her right down.”

“Her dialect is different from other Dalish I have met, so I must have chosen the correct one.” He kneeled to examine her hand. “It seems to have calmed, for now. Can you stand?”

Enasal sat up, wincing. “I think?”

“The Seeker asked us to bring you to the Chantry when you woke up.”

Solas, her fellow elf, who had thought to calm her in Dalish, helped her up, “This is the third time you’ve awoken, but the first you haven’t struck out at us.”

“By that he means, you woke up and tried to fight us.”

_ “Ir abelas!” _

Varric looked at Solas.

“She said, ‘I’m sorry’.

“Ah, don’t worry. You got a couple of punches in but they’ll heal.” 

“How long was I out?”

Solas’s face was still concerned, eyes flickering back to the mark. “All of last night, and most of today.” 

Varric laughed, “Well, she had a big day, what with cutting down a  _ giant demon!”  _ He shook his head and sighed, “Wanted to be here when you woke up.” He clapped his hand on her shoulder, “Shit’s about to get weird.”

He wasn’t kidding.

The crowd was overwhelming, larger even than her own clan. All turned to her, suddenly quiet.

“We’re not going anywhere,” Varric said, “Don’t be scared.”

The path to the Chantry seemed like it stretched for miles. People were easing in, closer and closer. 

“Maker bless you.”

Enasal looked back at the voice, but kept walking when she felt a gentle tug on her sleeve.

“Andraste’s chosen.”

“It’s the Herald!”

Some were reaching out to her, others bowed their heads. Enasal flinched away from them, but a now-familiar hand patted her back. “Almost there, keep going.”

Luckily, Enasal had noticed the chantry. The closer she got, the more she craned her neck. Never before had she seen such a building! Her Keeper had never brought them too close to shemlen cities, sending only a select few into them to trade. 

She felt even smaller than usual.

By the time they had gotten to the gates, Varric had taken hold of her arm, still reassuring her. Soldiers on either side pulled the door open, and she stepped into a Chantry for the first time in her life. 

It was massive. She spun as she walked, trying to take in such a huge space. Solid walls, flickering candles, red cloth on the floor, but freezing. When was the last time she had been warm?

An argument was ongoing somewhere behind closed doors- why was there always arguments?

“This is where we take our leave.” She spun to see Solas give a small bow. “ _ Dareth shiral, da'len. _ ”

“What he said.” Varric pointed at her, “If you need me, scream really loud.”

“ _ Ir _ \- I -.” 

“You’ll be fine, kid!”

“Varric!” She called. He stopped and looked back at her.

Enasal forced a smile, “I’ll whistle instead.”

Varric blinked a few times before laughing, “Oh yeah, because of the demon. I like that.” He gave her a thumbs-up and started out of the Chantry.

Alone, save for the argument in the room ahead

[ SeeD - Orchestral ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGLJwaRGD9I)

She couldn’t listen. The longer she stood there, the more likely she would turn on her heels and run. She took a shuddering breath and pushed the door open with such determination it slammed against the wall.

That wasn’t the calm and cool introduction she had imagined.

“You!” 

It was that nasty Chantry shem.

“Chain the elf!” Rodrick’s finger pointed right at her face, “You will  _ answer  _ for the things you’ve done!”

Cassandra pushed herself between them. “I do not believe she is guilty.”

What? Cassandra was _defending_ her? 

But she had blamed her so thoroughly before. 

“She  _ failed _ , Seeker, the Breach is still in the sky!” He narrowed his eyes, “For all you know, she intended it that way! Now shackle the elf and prepare to take her to Val Royeaux!”

Cassandra took a step closer to Rodrick. She flicked her eyes to the nearby soldiers, “Disregard that, and leave us.”

The soldiers saluted and took their leave, but Rodrick continued to rant. “You walk a dangerous line, Seeker!”

“I will not ignore this threat.”

When the door closed, Cassandra groaned and shook her head. 

“ _ Ir abel- _ I mean, I’m sorry. I did my best.”

Rodrick huffed, “Well it clearly wasn’t enough!

Enasal jumped at the voice behind her. So quietly had Leliana entered the room, that she hadn’t noticed. She’d make a good hunter. 

“Someone was behind the explosion in the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not suspect. Perhaps they died with the others - or have allies who yet live.”

Rodrick slammed his hands on the table, “ _ I _ am a suspect?”

Leliana nodded, “You, and many others.”

He sneered, “But  _ not _ the prisoner?”

Cassandra pointed to Enasal. “I heard voices at the temple. The Divine called to her for help.”

“So her survival - that  _ thing _ on her hand - all a coincidence?”

“Providence.” Cassandra looked at Enasal and nodded, “The Maker sent her to us in our darkest hour.”

“Me?” Enasal asked, "Even though..." She gestured to her ears.

Cassandra gave a firm nod, “Humans are not the only people with an interest in the fate of the world.”

“Yes.” Leilana agreed, “The Breach remains and your mark is our only hope of closing it.”

Rodrick - that hateful shem - straightened himself and jerked his chin up defiantly, “That is not for you to decide.”

Cassandra grabbed a massive book from a nearby desk and slammed it on the table with all her might. Enasal swore the ground shook.

“Do you know what this is, Chancellor? It is a writ from the Divine, granting us to act. At this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn.” She stood nose-to-nose with the Chancellor, her finger stabbing at his chest. “We  _ will _ close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order with or without your approval. Not, get out before the Commander gets here and throws you out!”

Rodrick was clearly afraid of the Commander, and stormed out, turning back and giving Enasal a final glare.

“What’s... An Inquisition?” Enasal hated when she didn’t know a word in Common.

Leliana answered, “It is an order to restore order and find the causes of order. It is a forceful time of change.”

Enasal still didn’t understand, but she nodded as if she did.

She looked down at her hand, “When I woke up… I thought I would be killed. This isn’t what I expected.”

“We didn’t either.” Cassandra said, she offered her hand, “Help us fix it before it’s too late.”

For the first time in her life, Enasal felt needed. 

She grasped Cassandra's hand and nodded. “You have my promise.”

The following days were a flurry of activity. The sky was filled with birds delivering letters, soldiers trained and blacksmiths hammered metal on their anvils. She watched as the Commander hammered a sign to the Chantry door, Varric at her side.

“You sure you’re up for this?”

Enasal silently nodded, intent on her task.

Another elf ran up to them, “Your worship, you’re needed in the Chantry. Lady Cassandra is waiting for you.”

“Ah, the Seeker!” Varric said with a grin, “Should I tag along?”

Enasal smiled, “Maybe next time.” She hopped off the wall she had been sitting on and made her way to the Chantry. Cassandra was leaning against the open door, waiting. She jerked her head towards the back room and started in, Enasal at her heels.

“Does it trouble you?”

Enasal looked down at her left hand, “Some. It doesn’t hurt and it’s stopped spreading but it… feels strange. Like an itch that doesn’t itch.” She shook her head, “I can’t describe it.”

“We’ll take our victories when we can.”

“But it didn’t work.”

Cassandra shook her head, “You did everything you could.”

A sense of shame chilled her blood. She had gone from feeling needed to feeling worthless in a matter of days.

Cassandra seemed to hesitate, then awkwardly patted her shoulder. “What is important is that the Breach is sealed and stable. Solas believes that a second attempt might succeed, provided the mark has more power. Enough as it took to cause the Breach - that will not be easy to come by.”

“I’m guessing you have a plan for that?”

“We do.”

Inside the back room stood Leliana and two others. She had seen them both around, but had yet to speak to them. The Commander nodded - he was closer this time, and she recognized his full height. She  _ might _ have come up to his shoulder. The woman beside him was breathtaking, with a kind face and beautifully styled hair. Enasal liked her immediately.

“You might remember Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition's forces.”

Cullen bowed his head, “It was only a moment in the field and you seemed out of sorts, so you might not remember.” He smiled, one side of his mouth higher than the other. Enasal couldn't tell if he was smirking or it was just the way he smiled. “I’m pleased that you survived.”

Cassandra gestured to the other woman, “This is Lady Josephine Monilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat.”

“ _ Andaran Atish’an _ .”

Enasal lit up. “You speak Dalish?”

Josephine laughed, “You’ve just heard the extent of it.”

“And you remember Leilana, I’m sure.”

Leliana smiled, “My position here involves a degree of-”

“She is our spymaster.” Cassandra interrupted.

Leliana sighed, “Tactfully put, as always.”

Cassandra nodded to Enasal. “This is Enasal Lavellan. Our Herald”

Enasal winced. Why did she have to have a last name, and  _ why _ did humans insist that it should be the name of her clan?

She readied herself, saying her first sentence in her head to make sure it sounded right. She suddenly felt intimidated. A spy, a woman that could easily kill her, a beautiful diplomat, and a man who would simply need to fall on her to squash her like a bug.

“ _ Andaran Atish’an _ she said, mimicking the bow she had seen Cullen do, hoping it was correct etiquette for a woman as well, “I am happy to have met all of you.”

Cassandra looked restless, pacing one way and the other. “I mentioned your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good.”

“Which means,” Leilana added, “We need the rebel mages for help.”

Cullen rested his hand on the hilt of his sword and frowned, “And I still disagree. The templars could serve us just as well.”

What was a templar? Did it have a Dalish counterpart? Should she ask?

No, no more asking about words. She’d ask Varric later. He would tease her, but there was always a hint of affection in his words.

Cassandra leaned on the table towards him, “We need power, Commander. If enough magic is poured into that mark-”

“Might destroy us all.” He set his jaw, clearly frustrated. “Templars could suppress the Breach, weaken it so -”

Leilana interrupted, “Pure speculation.”

Cullen leaned on the table too, staring Cassandra down, “ _ I _ was a templar, I know what they’re capable of.”

Josephine was trying to keep the peace all while taking notes of the meeting. “Unfortunately, neither group will speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition.” She forced a weak smile and looked at Enasal. “And you, specifically.”

Enasal hunched her shoulders, “Why me?”

Cullen seemed irritated again, “Shouldn’t they be busy arguing over who will be Divine?”

Josephine rolled her eyes before setting them on Enasal, “Some are calling you - a Dalish Elf - ‘The Herald of Andraste’, and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining clerics have declared it blasphemy -”

What was blasphemy?

“- and we heretics for harboring you.”

What was a heretic?

Cassandra huffed, “No doubt Chancellor Rodrick’s doing.”

Josephine was scribbling on her clipboard, her hands moving swiftly across the page, “It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars is currently out of the question.”

Enasal raised a hand and waved until the group noticed her. “Sorry, sorry, but how am  _ I _ the Herald of Andraste?”

“People saw what you did at the temple. “Cassandra answered, “How you stopped the Breach from growing. They believe the woman in the rift was Andraste.”

Leliana nodded in agreement, “Even if we tried to stop that view from spreading-”

“Which we have not.” Cassandra added.

“The point is, everyone is talking about you.”

Cullen spoke up, again with that smirk-or-maybe-smile. “It’s quite the title, isn’t it, Enasal? How do you feel about it?

“I…” Thank the Creator, she hadn’t begun in Dalish, “I’m not sure.”

His smile grew a little, “It seems the Chantry has decided that for you.”

“Enasal,” Leliana said, “People are desperate for a sign of hope. For some, you’re that sign.”

“And to others,” Josephine said, “A symbol of everything gone wrong.”

Enasal thought through the past week. She had traveled so far, blacked out so many times, fought demons, and sealed rifts. Now, she has made very powerful people angry. 

“Do you think the Chantry will attack us?”

“With what?” Cullen laughed, “They have only words at their disposal.”

Josephine shook her head, “And yet, they may bury us with them.”

“There is something we could do.” Lelianna interjected, “A Chantry cleric by the name of Mother Giselle has asked to speak with you. She is not far, and her assistance could be invaluable.”

“Where exactly is she?”

“In the Hinterlands, near Redcliff.”

“Look for opportunities to expand the Inquisition's influence while you’re there.” Cullen added.

Josephine nodded in agreement, “We need agents to extend our reach beyond this valley, and you’re better suited than anyone for that.” 

Cassandra spoke, “In the meantime, let’s think of other options. I won’t leave this all to the Herald.”

The four started talking among themselves while Enasal stood awkwardly by the door. Finally, she announced, “Do you need me for anything or…”

Josephine was the only one to look up, “No, Herald, please go rest, you must be tired.”

Enasal nodded and left, closing the door behind her.

After a few seconds, Leliana reached up and smacked Cullen in the back of the head, “You are a man of good standing and men of good standing  _ do not stare. _ I do not  _ care _ how small she is, you do not stare.”

“I wasn’t-” Cullen shook his head and grumbled, looking at the map and consulting with Cassandra instead.

[ Roaring fire while wind howls  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ucoKA6bm6c)

Outside the Chantry, Enasal searched the small area Varric usually stuck to. She found him by a fire, which she was more than happy to huddle near. 

“Good to see you’re still alive.”

Enasal nodded and sat by the fire, shivering. “Varric, can I ask a favor of you?”

“As long as it’s not fighting the Seeker.”

She shook her head, growing. “Varric… sometimes I don’t know what a word in Common means. And sometimes, I don’t know about things outside my clan. For generations, our Keepers have kept us far away from humans, so there’s so much I don’t know.” She stared down at her boots. “I asked about one of the words, but I still didn’t understand. I feel stupid.”

“You know two languages, why is that something to be embarrassed about? I barely know any Dwarven. Ask anything.”

“What’s blasphemy?”

“It’s when someone does or says something the Chantry doesn’t like. A matter of opinion if you ask me.”

“What’s a heretic?”

“The person who does the blasphemy.”

“What’s a templar?”

“Ah, the templars!” He rubbed his hands together, “A complicated bunch.” He crossed his arms over his chest, “They’re  _ supposed _ to protect mages in circles - do you know about the circles?”

Enasal nodded, "A little."

"Well, they’re supposed to protect the mages from possession  _ and  _ protect people from any mages that might be the type to set people on fire for fun. But in some areas, the templars got a little power happy, started beating up and killing mages. They started to round them up by the dozen to make them Tranquil.”

“Tranquil?”

“Cutting their ties with the fade, no more emotions, no more magic.” He shook his head in a pitying sort of way. “Then the mages rebelled, and next thing you know things start blowing up.”

Enasal was quiet as she digested the information.

“Cullen said he was a templar.” She said, “Do you know anything about him?”

“Curly? He’s about as complicated as any templar. I knew him in Kirkwall - he wasn’t the nicest of templars. But then again, he was in a circle when half the mages were turning into demons, so it gave him a nasty fear of magic.” 

Varric pointed to his lips, “Did you notice the scar? It means one of two things. Either there were no healing mages nearby when he got it, or he was against any form of magic to heal it up.” He frowned, “I’d guess the latter.”

“I didn’t notice.” Enasal said, “I was too focused on the fact that he could kill me by falling on me.”

Varric threw his head back and laughed, “Curly’s not  _ that _ bad, just too serious for his health.”

He snapped his fingers, “I have an idea. Nothing like a game of Wicked Grace to help you get to know everyone a little better.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“That’s fine.” He said, “You’ll learn.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Why wouldn't it be?”

She glanced at him and shrugged, “People… tend not to like me very much.”

“Who doesn’t like you?” Varric laughed, “Because everyone I’ve talked to likes you.”

“They haven’t met me.” She said softly.

Varric shook his head, “Okay, I’m not sure where you got that idea but it isn’t true, so take that thought out of your head and throw it somewhere.”

Enasal thought of another way to get out of it, “I think we’re going to the Hinterlands soon-”

“Ah, one night won’t kill anyone.” He put up his hand in farewell and went to the Chantry.

Enasal shook her head and sighed. There were so many people around, so much going on. It made her tired and nervous - and she was so cold. Enasal took Josephine’s advice and found her bed, bundling up in the blankets, finally warm.

And finally asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal is pretty sure everyone doesn't actually like her, so Varric forces the most cornball game of Wicked Grace ever played.

##  Chapter 6

[ Outdoor Camp Sounds ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TjuJf2_3Rg)

One week.

They had one week before leaving for the Hinterlands. 

Enasal sat on the wall overlooking the training soldiers. Varric was in the tavern telling stories to the patrons, and Solas was nowhere to be seen. She wondered if he had gone to the Breach to poke around a bit.

Cassandra stopped stabbing the dummy when she saw Enasal. She turned back to her dummy, slashed at it a few times, then glanced back. Sheathing her sword, Cassandra made her way through the gates. 

“Come down from there, Herald.”

Nerves taught, Enasal dropped to the ground, much to Cassandra’s surprise.

“Did you just - you jumped from the main wall!” 

“I’m fine, aren’t I?”

“There is a ladder! You could just -” She shook her head, “No. That is not why I’m here.” She jerked her head towards the path, “Walk with me.”

Enasal took off to catch up with Cassandra, who seemed focused ahead.

“I realize that I owe you an apology.” She said, “I treated you unfairly. It was unworthy of me.” Before Enasal could answer Cassandra switched subjects. “Leliana was telling me you have been working hard in your training.”

It must be hard for Cassandra to apologize.

“It’s alright.” Enasal said, “Leliana said my foundation was good but that I needed more practice. We’ve been sparing.” She laughed, “I’m sore all over.”

“I would assume that she is not the easiest teacher.”

“Easier than Solas.” Enasal said with a grin, “He’s been teaching me about the fade and ancient elves and…”

Why not let her know?”

“And how to… read.”

Cassandra stopped, “You cannot read?”

Enasal shook her head, “Dalish tell stories, not read them. I wasn’t allowed to touch the few books we had...”

Cassandra was quiet.

“He says I’m doing well, but I think he's just saying that to make me feel better.”

“Dalish or Common?”

“Common.” Enasal answered, “I thought it’d be more useful.”

They both shuffled their feet, each wanting a good reason to get out of the situation.

“Are… you coming to Wicked Grace tonight?” Enasal asked, “Varric said it’d be fun - said it’d be a bonding experience.”

“I… yes. I will be there.” She tapped the hilt of her sword, “Would you like to join the soldiers training? I’m sure Leliana has you sparring, it might grant you some relief to hit something that will not hit you back.”

Enasal smiled - Cassandra  _ didn’t _ hate her.

Down with the soldiers, she practiced with Cassandra, who occasionally offered advice on her form. 

“I was rash with you.” Cassandra said, “And I was rash with the Inquisition.”

Enasal shook her head, “From what everyone was saying, it was the only thing left to do.”

Cassandra stopped her attack and dropped her hands down to her sides. “I have always been told I act before I think. I am concerned I made the wrong decision - for everyone involved.”

“I’m really not the best person to ask advice about decision-making.” 

“I see.” 

Feeling as though Cassandra had had enough talk, Enasal moved away to another set of dummies and started practicing - as Leliana had said, she couldn’t just sit in trees and wait for enemies to stand underneath. 

Someone was beside her.

Enasal jumped back and found her blade on the breastplate of a soldier. His hands were up and his eyes were wide.

“I’m sorry, your Worship, I-I was just - I just wanted to know, people have been saying -“

Enasal mouth dropped open, “You were trying to see how much taller you were than me!”

“I’m sorry, - just -”

Enasal stiffened, hands gripping her daggers in white-knuckled hurt.

_ “Back in line!” _

Cullen grabbed the soldier by the shoulder and spun him around. 

“What did you say to her?”

“Nothing, Commander-”

“What did you do?” 

“I just-”

Enasal shook her head, “It’s fine, it’s not important!”

Cullen glanced at her before turning back to the soldier. “You will respect the Herald of Andraste. Back in line.”

He took off.

Enasal sheathed her swords, staring at the ground with plans of slipping away as fast as possible.

“What did he do?”

Enasal took a breath, forced a smile, and turned around. 

Creator, he was tall.

“It’s nothing, he just surprised me.”

“You’re not a good liar.” He was smiling.

Enasal shook her head again, “He just… I was trying to practice and he was just there and…it’s stupid.”

“You look like you don’t like whatever happened.”

She shrugged, “He was trying to see how much taller he was than me.”

“Maker, are you serious?”

“I know it’s stupid-”

He shook his head, “No it’s not. I’ll have a talk with my soldiers, that sort of behavior is unworthy.”

She needed to change the subject.

“Coming to Wicked Grace?” 

Cullen sighed, “I have a lot of work to do and I’m… not very fond of parties.”

Enasale forced a smile, “It’s not a party, just me, Varric, Josephine, and Leliana. Not Solas thought, he said he hates card games.”

He chuckled “Of course he does. I’ll try to make it.”

It was a chance to leave.

“I’ll see you there - we’re setting it up in the tavern, Varric’s buying.”

“You seem to like him quite a lot.” 

Well, there goes her escape.

“He was the first person who was kind to me here.” She said, “He took care of me and… I’ve never had some physically jerk me back from something dangerous.” She laughed and put her arms out, “He even gave me his extra coat!”

Another smile- or smirk? “I was actually wondering about that. You don’t have a coat?”

“If I did, why would I be wearing this one?”

“Point taken.” He nodded to it, “Swallows you whole.”

Enasal laughed, “Varric said it would because dwarves are broader than elves.”

“That they are, Herald.”

“Please, can you please just call-”

A soldier came down through the gates, “Sir, I have a message.”

“More work.” He said, “I’ll see you at Wicked Grace.”

Maybe he didn’t dislike her.

Happy to escape, Enasal went to find Solas. 

She found him in the apothecary, looking over some notes.

“A bit late,  _ da'len. _ ” He said.

“Sorry, I was training with some of the soldiers and things happened and I just-”

“I’m coming to learn that you are distracted quite easily.”

“ _ Ir abelas _ . Cullen was making sure I was okay and he kept asking questions.”

“An interesting human, is he not?”

“There’s a lot of interesting humans here.”

Solas chuckled and slid a book towards her. The owner of the apothecary rolled his eyes, he was irritated that Solas had selected it for his lessons.

Enasal stared at the book, reading aloud, slowly, one word at a time. She hated it. Solas never said a word when she stopped and pretended to read silently- it always meant someone had come into the apothecary. 

Enasal put her head down on the table - it had only been a few moments, but she was already exhausted.

“ _ Da'len _ , are you alright?”

“My head hurts.” She said, “I don’t feel well.”

Solas gently removed the book from her, “That’s enough for today. Tomorrow we can discuss the fade. What would you like to learn-”

“Memories!” She interrupted, “Memories in the fade.”

He smiled, “ _ Ma nuvenin, da'len _ . I believe it is about time for you to join the others in the tavern.”

Enasal looked out the doorway - the sun was setting.

She cursed and nearly knocked the chair down, she could hear Solas trying to withhold a laugh.

[ D&D Crowded Tavern With Music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSWHIOTou7I)

Everyone else was already there, fresh from their work. Mugs had already been poured and they were talking and laughing amongst themselves. Varric looked over, “There she is! Got you a spot right here.”

“She’ll see your cards, Varric.” 

“I know that, Curly, I’m teaching her to play.” He held his hands up, “And that’s why - I never thought I’d say this - we’re not placing any bets, just getting to know each other.”

Leliana shook her head, “First, who are you and what have you done with Varric? Second, what fun is it without any risk?”

Varric leaned his chair back - Enasal was amazed how balanced like that. “Questions.” He answered, “The winning hand gets to ask a question, and everyone has to answer.”

Josephine seemed unsure, “Varric, the Herald’s clan was very sheltered. We might need to keep it clean for today.”

“Clean?” Cullen asked, “What sort of questions were you going to ask?”

“I’m sitting right here.” Enasal reminded them. 

“And that’s why we’re going to keep it clean.” He said, teasingly patting her head, “This time.”

Cullen rubbed his temple, “Maker, why did I come?”

“Another round! I think Curly needs a few more pints and -” He stopped and looked at Enasal, “You’ve never had a drink before, have you?”

“Nobody was allowed to share with me.” She said.

“And a small glass for our Herald!”

As they played, questions were asked. Enasal and Varric whispered back and forth, Enasal pointing to cards and Varric explaining them.

Cards laid out, and Josephine clapped, “The first winner! Oh what to ask?” She twiddled her fingers as she thought before finally asking, “Alright, I’m going to start this off on a pleasant note - something you like about yourself.”

“I’m brilliant!”

“And Varric starts us out,” Josephine laughed, “Leliana?”

“I’ve been told I sing quite well.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes, “This is wasteful.” 

Enasal carefully leaned forward, “You’re very strong.”

Cassandra flicked her eyes to her before averting them. “That is true.”

“Cullen, Herald?”

“Can’t you just call me Enasal?” She asked, “‘Herald’ makes me nervous.

Josephine smiled and rested her chin on her hands, “When we do not have anyone else around, we can agree to that - if you answer the question.”

“My hair.” She rubbed at her head, feeling the cowlicks that made peaks and valleys all over her head. “It’s stubborn and does what it wants. It used to be long, but my sister made me cut it.” She flicked the most offensive cowlick, the one near her temple that forced her part to the left side of her head. “Although sometimes it’s…” She snapped her fingers, “It’s like… how it works? More like acts, I guess.”

“Behaves?” Varric asked.

Enasal tilted her head to the side, “Yes but… not good.”

“Misbehaves.” He supplied.

Enasal nodded, “Yes, but sometimes it misbehaves and I hate it.”

“I think it’s pretty.” Lelians said, “Such a nice shade of red.”

Compliments were not something Enasal was used to. Her cheeks flushed and she laughed, “My Keeper said it reminded her of waves during a storm at sea - that’s why I somehow like it.”

Varric suddenly stood and snapped his fingers.  _ “Seastorm!” _

Enasal leaned away from him and everyone else stared silently.

Varric shrugged, “What? I don’t have a name for her yet.” He ruffled her hair, “Now she's a Seastorm.”

“Let’s just go to the next hand.” Cullen said, gathering the cards to shuffle. 

“Oh no, Commander.” Josephine laughed, “You have to answer the question too.”

He leaned back in his chair, seeming to dislike the attention. “I suppose… my hair?”

“Cagey. You copied that from Seastorm.” Varric laughed.

They went back and forth with questions and answers. Enasal was feeling woozy, having consumed an entire pint. A lot for her size and a lot for a first-timer.

Varric had announced the next winner would be the last question. Enasal didn’t quite see the look he gave everyone as they played.

“Maker be praised.” Varric laughed, “Curly won - a true miracle.”

He glared at Varric.

“Your question?”

Leliana leaned past Josephine and mouthed,  _ Go on! _

Once again in the spotlight, Cullen tapped his knuckles on the table and said, “Who here likes Enasal?”

Enasal’s eyes widened and she started to stand, ready to escape.

Varric’s hand was on her arm. “Seastorm’s a good kid. I might like her a little.”

Leliana nodded “I like her.”

“As do I.” Josephine said.

Cassandra nodded, “You are fierce - and yes, I do like you.”

“I like you as well.” Cullen ended.

Enasal’s eyes were wide and her feet were glued to the floor. 

“See, Seastorm, I told you people liked you!”

“Is… this what all this was about?”

“Well, not entirely.” Josephine confessed, “We do know each other much more now - but yes, Varric told us of your fears.”

Cullen was fidgeting with the cards, “It is not something you need to be concerned about.”

Enasal started to shake and she promptly burst into tears.

“Who was right?” Varric asked her.

“You!” Enasal cried.

Leliana smiled, “Why would you think we didn’t like you?”

“I’ve never - I - this many people - you really do?”

Varric rubbed her back and laughed, “Get all those I-thought-people-hated-me tears out.”

Josephine was the first to get up, “I am glad we’ve come to an understanding. But it is late, and we have much to do.”

“Agreed.” Leliana said.

Cassandra nodded to Enasal and got up.

“Let's get you to bed, Seastorm.” 

Outside the tavern, Varric started laughing, “Did you see Curly? He was terrified! Guess he doesn’t know what to do when someone starts crying.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“You keep wiping your eyes like that and you’ll rub your freckles off.” 

Enasal nodded and let her arms drop. 

“Feeling better?”

She nodded, “I felt like a burden. Out of anyone the mark could have chosen, it chose a short elf who had mediocre fighting skills and can’t seem to go a day without crying.” She turned him, “My clan hates me. All except my sister… and my grandmother.” Her eyes were fixed on her own hands, “But she died two years ago.” She felt tears well up again and she roughly wiped her eyes, “Once I start, it doesn’t take much to start up again.”

Varric nudged her, “I think those tears will calm down. Sometimes all you need is a little affirmation. Are you ready for the Hinterlands? Less people, more dirt.” 

She nodded, still wiping her eyes and sniffing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter the Hinterlands.
> 
> Enasal does not like shoes.  
> She is already disobeying and doing as she pleases.  
> And figures out that killing demons is much more fun than killing people.

Enasal couldn’t believe what her advisers had given her. A new pack, a new set of clothes, and specialized leather armor. But by far the greatest gift - new blades. These were a set that would turn anyone green with envy. 

All three of them were there to send them off. Enasal’s mind was filled with advice - Josephine was reminding her of human customs and greetings, Leliana was reminding her to mind the way she gripped her weapons, and Cullen was voicing his displeasure over Enasal’s lack of ‘useful’ armor. 

Solas, Varric, and Cassandra were at her side, walking the road to the Hinterlands. The first night they drank to their upcoming victories and fights, not retiring until late in the night. 

[ Final Fantasy VIII - Ride On  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSO_7eZLSqo)

As soon as the snow melted away and winter-worn grass grew thick, Enasal slid her feet out of her boots, stuffing them into her pack. She took steps into the grass sighed, going up onto her toes and breathing the suddenly windswept air.

“Enasal?” 

She opened her eyes. Varric and Cassandra hadn’t given it much though, probably assuming it was an elf thing. But Solas was staring at her.

_ “Da'len _ .” He said firmly, “What did you do?” Her stormy gray eyes were brighter than he had ever seen them.

Enasal cocked her head to the side, “I didn’t do anything.”

“But- nevermind.” He still watched her, head tilted and brow crinkled in concentration.

Enasal grinned at him, giving a little hop before running to catch up with Varric - so much faster with her reconnection to the earth. 

She gave a shout of joy and performed a few leaps, rolling into the third only to leap back up and serpentining up a nearby hill. She ran down, laughing and leaping before Solas’s calls finally brought her back to the group. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she was grinning.

Varric laughed, “You run on your toes, Seastorm.”

“And you walk on them. Why are your shoes off?”

“Because I’m home.” She sighed.

“Did I ever mention that most of the people in my life are crazy?” Varric laughed. 

Enasal laughed as well.

Cassandra quickly grew used to Enasals new oddity while Varric would every so often chuckle to himself, “Adorable.”

Without shoes, her running, walking, jumping, and climbing had sort of grace they had never seen in them before and - being the fastest - it was typically her that scouted ahead. Solas seemed less than thrilled, as she had become something that was difficult for him to understand. It was something he  _ knew _ , but couldn’t put his finger on.

It was their final night on the road when she scouted ahead, running and onto the crest of the tallest hill, the sunset backlighting her form. She turned to them, a smile on her face, “I see it! I see lights!”

Solas and Cassandra were next up the hill, Varric taking up the rear and cursing hills.

“You have led us well,  _ da'len _ .”

“We will make camp tonight.” Cassandra said. “And arrive tomorrow.”

[ Campfire & River Night Ambience ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsOUv9EzKsg)

  
  


Cassandra and Enasal went to their tent first, Cassandra dragging Enasal away from the fire and reminding her of the road ahead.

Solas stared into the fire, brow creased.

Varric sighed and leaned back. “Okay, Chuckles, what is it?”

No answer.

“Don’t act like nothing’s wrong, you’ve been sour since we left.”

Solas still stared into the fire. “You know her best, Varric. May I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Has she said anything about her clan?”

Varric shrugged, “She didn’t like it, old Keeper was her grandmother, she doesn’t like the new Keeper, and she has a sister. Oh, and they only associate with other clans for some party thing - she said the word but I can never remember elven words.”

“ _ Arlathvhen? _ ”

Varic nodded, “That's the word. She doesn’t seem to want to talk about it, so I don’t push it. She’ll talk when she’s ready.”

Solas frowned, “She is… different.” He looked up, “When she first stepped into the grass - did you feel it?”

Varric chuckled, “I couldn’t feel her if she dropped on my head.”

“This is no joking matter.” 

Varric grinned and leaned forward, “I didn’t ‘feel’ anything, but it’s good to see her so happy. He looked up at the Breach, always visible in the sky, “She might just seal it. Out of everyone in the world, we got Seastorm, and I don’t think it was an accident.” He brushed his pants off, “Don’t stay up brooding too long, Chuckles.”

[ Bluebell Woods ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsPBplWLImI) \+  [ Herald Of Andraste ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABSYw1qQR78)

When the sun rose Enasal was already awake and waiting. As the others woke up and began to break down their camp, Solas went over to speak with his student. “ _ Da'len, _ a word.”

Enasal scrambled up and followed him to the outskirts of the camp. “Is everything alright?”

He looked down at her feet, bare and up on her toes.

“Enasal.” 

No “ _ da'len”, _ he had gone to her name. She had a feeling that whatever he wanted to talk about was very serious. He was still looking her up and down, and finally said. “What did you do that first day you stepped into the grass?”

Enasal shook her head, “We already talked about this, I didn’t  _ do  _ anything!”

_ “Da'len.” _ He said, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Solas, I didn’t do anything!”

He sighed, “I believe you don’t know what you did.” He looked down at her, “But you did do something, whether you realize it or not.” He looked her over and shook his head, then smiled. “Do not let it trouble you,  _ da'len _ . You’ve done nothing wrong.”

Enasal flopped her arms up and down in frustration, but in the end shook her head and tried to forget the whole strage exchange.

It was a few hours before they got to the forward camp. They were met by a dwarf, who nodded her head in greeting, “The Herald? I’ve heard the stories, everyone has.” She bowed her head, “I know what you did at the Breach. It’s odd for a Dalish elf to care what happens outside their clan, but you’ll get no backtalk here, that’s a promise.” She gave a salute, “Inquisition Scout Harding at your service. I - all of us here, will do whatever we can to help.”

Enasal grinned, “I’m not most Dalish elves.” 

“What’s the situation?” Cassandra asked.

“ We came to secure horses from Redcliffe’s old horsemaster. I grew up here, and people always said that Dennet’s herd were the strongest and fastest this side of the Frostbacks.” She looked down at the road below and shook her head, “But with the mage-templar fighting getting worse, we couldn’t get to Dennet. Maker only knows if he’s even still alive.” She pointed to another path, “Mother Giselle’s at the crossroads helping refugees and the wounded. Our latest reports say that the war’s spread there too. Corporal Vale and our men are doing what they can to help protect the people, but they won’t be able to hold out very long.”

“We will move quickly.” Cassandra promised, looking to Enasal. “Lead the way, Herald.”

After a few steps, Cassandra grabbed her by the collar and pulled her back. “Enasal, we are not jumping off ridges, climbing rock faces, or any such nonsense. We will be using the path like sensible people.”

Varric laughed, “And who said Seastorm is sensible.”

Solas frowned, “ _ Da'len _ , the terrain is not suitable for bare feet - look.” He pointed to his own, seemingly hand-made shoes.

Enasal shook her head, “You’ve seen the difference, I’m keeping them off.”

“Seastorm, maybe Chuckles is right.” Varric said, “You’re going to tear up your feet and you won’t have anything to walk on.”

Enasal shook her head.

“Is it really so important?” Cassandra said as she started ahead, only to loop back when nobody followed her.

“Listen,” Enasal said, “When something separates me from the earth, I go slow. I can’t do anything as well. When I’m connected,” She gestured to her bare feet, “I’m better.”

Solas cocked his head to the side, “Connected?”

Enasal shrugged, “You now know about as much as I do about it.”

“At the very least,” Solas pressed, “Please wrap the arches of your feet - I’m sure your clan does that.”

Enasal grudgingly agreed.

Partway down the hill, something caught Enasal’s eye. It was white, with an odd sort of light. Now both Enasal and Solas were starting up at it, heads tilted sideways.

“Well,” Verric muttered, “That’s creepy. Why are they being creepy?”

“They are elves, Varric. I’m sure they… sense something.”

Enasal’s eyes hadn’t left the object. “What do you think it is?”

Solas’s eyes were just as intent, “I am unsure. Perhaps a relic of some kind?”

“There's some sort of magic going on.” 

“Why do you say that, da'len?”

Enasal shrugged, “It's breathing. You feel it, right?”

“Yes, but I'm a mage. You are not, you’ve made that quite clear.”

Enasal went to the rock face ahead and grabbed the first protrusion she could.

_ “Da'len.” _ Solas warned.

Enasal looked back at the group and continued her climb.

_ “Da'len _ , we already discussed that you will not be climbing things -  _ Da'len! Enasal!” _

He turned to look at Varric and Cassandra. “Why doesn’t she listen? Varric, she likes you, you try.”

Varric had been watching with a smug smile, “If she doesn’t listen to you, she’s not going to listen to me.” He titled his back, and in a deadpan voice, “Seastorm. No. Don’t. Listen to your teacher. No. Bad Seastorm.” He shrugged, “What do you know, she didn’t listen.”

“Mind your step, Herald!” Cassandra called up.

Varric watched as Enasal tumbled over the edge and onto the plateau above. “We can’t make her listen, Chuckles. As much as I say otherwise, she’s a grown woman. And technically she should be the one giving orders.”

Enasal’s head stuck out over the ledge. “It’s a skull! On a stick! It glows!”

“Very perceptive.” Solas laughed, “A skull on a stick that glows.”

Her head retreated back to look at the artifact. “It’s blue and… I need everyone to come up here.”

“What’s wrong, Seastorm?”

“It does something!” Her head popped back out, “There’s a trail that way” She indicated with her right hand, “I think it goes up here.”

Enasal sat down in the grass, enjoying the breeze and the sights until her companions made their way up to her.

“Fascinating.” Solas said, “You said it does something.”

She pointed to the back of the skull. 

Solas bent over to look into the hole. “I see… it reveals something - we should try to find them.”

He stood and turned to the group, “One is nearby - we should investigate.”

“Okay.” Varric interrupted, “Seastorm, Cuckles, we have things to do - remember?”

Cassandra shook her head, “Never would I have guessed that Varric would be the voice of reason.”

Solas nodded toward Enasal, “We can return at a later time to investigate.”

Enasal relented and looked around. The view made finding the crossroads an easy enough venture, but she  _ did _ wait until the others had gotten back down the trail to leap off the cliff.

They weren’t happy about that.

Solas was the  _ most _ unhappy about it.

Cassandra shouted at her.

Varric decided to handle it his own way.

“Seastorm.” He said, putting his arm around her neck, forcing her head down. “If you die, Cassandra will kill me. Solas will kill me. All of our advisors? They’ll kill me. I prefer to stay alive, so could you be more careful?”

Enasal nodded until Varric let her go.

They crept towards the crossroads, only to hear fighting. 

“I can smell the magic.” Enasal whispered.

Solas no longer asked questions, “Anything odd?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Mages - and templars as well.”

“Well shit. Mages and templars fighting and innocent people are caught in the middle. Some things never change.”

Enasal looked at Cassandra, “You know battles more than I do.”

Cassandra scanned the area and pointed at an above ledge, “Since you are so fond of jumping off of things, that might be the best place for you to be. I will run out and you will jump down and flank them. Varric, get your crossbow ready and find cover. Solas, find a spot you can see the area. We must control the battlefield.”

Things didn’t seem so carefree now.

For that week of travel, Enasal had forgotten her fear and her duty, but it was all coming back now. Climbing up the cliff face was no longer fun - it was a necessity. When she finally reached the top she drew her blades and crouched in waiting.

A third group had leapt into the fray.

They wore the same colors of Cullen’s men.

“Inquisition forces!” Cassandra shouted, “They’re trying to protect the refugees.”

“Looks like they need help!” Varric had already shot one arrow.

Enasal waited…

Then leapt.

Blades vertical, she came down on a templar.

“Hold!” Cassandra yelled, “We are not apostates.”

“Don’t think they care, Seeker!” Varric shouted.

Right at the back of the neck, always at least a crease of skin, Lelianna had told her. And as Enasal pulled the blades from the now-dead templar, she understood. 

Find weaknesses.

She felt heat at her back and the smell of beeswax filled the air. She turned and leapt to the side as a fireball flew past her face, scalding her nose. 

_ “Da'len!”  _

A glyph of green rose from the ground, but this was not the painkiller she had previously seen. “That should keep you alive,  _ da'len! Be careful!” _

Cassandra was on her left, bashing a mage with her shield - Enasal didn’t have to get a look to know that the mage’s neck was broken. 

“Seastorm!”

Behind her. 

Blades backwards, plunged through leather and into flesh. She yanked them back out, twisting as Lelianna had shown her. 

A mage was readying a spell behind Cassandra.

She and Varric saw it at the same time, and he knew what Enasal was thinking.

“Fall back, Seastorm!”

Slamming a shoulder into a nearby mage, Enasal fought her way towards Cassandra, praying the mage wouldn’t finish before she got there. A templar stepped to block her path, a massive hammer resting on his shoulder. Enasal ran at him, sliding to the ground to get at the back of his ankles - protected by nothing but leather. Her blade sliced through leather and to the bone.

Finally close enough, Enasal shouted for Cassandra to move. Not waiting for a reply, Enasal slammed herself against the mage, knocking him off balance so Cassandra could give the final blow with the sword.

Lightning struck from above and Cassandra dove for shelter. A streak came down, bouncing harmlessly off a flashing green barrier. She looked back at Solas, who nodded before bringing the entirety of the storm down. Lightning crashed, striking mages and templars alike. 

Enasal crouched and closed her eyes. 

When she opened them, it was over.

[ Sorrow ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qFk-SpprX34)

The ground was scalded, bodies lay everywhere, some of them were their own.

Enasal stood, blades still in hand. 

She was shaking.

This wasn’t like the Breach. These were people, not demons.

The Inquisition soldiers were watching, she knew it. 

Watching her shake, watching her pant, watching her cry.

“Seastorm!” Varric forcibly turned her face to look at him, shaking her with his other hand, “You okay? Seastorm?”

Cassandra was over first, “What happened to the Herald?”

“I don’t know, she won’t say anything.”

Solas pushed his way through, getting down on his knees and speaking to her in Dalish. Her shaking seemed to be getting worse, but she seemed to be coming out of it. Eventually she said something back - Elven and tear-filled. Solas touched his forehead to hers, continuing their secret conversation. She let out a shuddering sob and Solas laid a hand on her head, standing straight to explain. 

“She has never killed a person before.” Solas explained, “And by my count, she just killed three, perhaps five if they do not survive their injuries.”

“She will need to get used to killing.” Cassandra said.

“Does she?” Asked Varric, “There’s a difference between getting used to killing and knowing that there are times you just have to do it.” He walked back to Enasal and to her face into his hands, “Are you okay?”

She said something in Dalish, shoulders shaking.

He hushed her, “Seastorm, you’re speaking Dalish, I don’t know what you're saying. Take a breath… that’s right, keep breathing.”

“The soldiers.” She managed to say, eyes buried under her fists, “They saw me. They’re going to go back and tell Leliana and Josephine and Cullen that I can’t do this and-”.

“You were  _ brilliant _ !” Varric said,  _ “That’s  _ what they’ll tell them.”

Cassandra relented her position, “I suppose most soldiers have had… similar reactions to their first kill.”

“Don’t think about it, Seastorm. Just remember, they were attacking refugees  _ and _ our troops. You did good.” He smiled, “Now, we need to keep doing good and help those refugees, okay? Get your shoes on.” He chuckled, “We’re going into town, let’s go.”

Enasal raised her head and slowly nodded.

They pushed forward, with the Inquisition soldiers trailing behind them. When they finally reached the crossroads the soldiers spread into the area.

Mages, soldiers, and civilians, all here in equal fear and misery. 

And in the midst of it all - a Chantry woman.

_ You are the Herald _ , Enasal reminded herself,

Mother Giselle kneeled by a man who lay struggling on a cot - a mage was standing nearby.

“Lie still.” The woman said, “This mage can heal your wounds.

The man’s efforts doubled, “Don’t let… don’t let them touch me! Their magic-”

“Turned to a noble purpose.” The Mother said, carefully pressing him back on the cot. “Their magic is surely no more evil than your blade.”

The man tried to stand again, “But-”

She hushed him, once again pressing him back down, “Allow them to ease your suffering.”

_ Say it in Common, no dalish. Just say the words you’re thinking. _

“Excuse me,” Enasal asked. “Are you Mother Giselle?”

The woman stood and nodded in greeting, “I am. And you must be the one they call the Herald of Andraste.”

“You asked for me?” She tried to stand as straight and tall as she could.

_ You are the Herald of Andraste _

“My dear.” Said the Mother, “Come, let us walk.” 

Enasal agreed, walking beside a holy Mother of the Human Chantry.

“You are pale.”

Enasal was taken aback. She looked back at her comrades. Solas and Cassandra nodded while Varric gave a wincing shrug.

Enasal’s mouth opened - and silence.

Not Again.

Move your mouth.

You do this every day - talk!

_ Fenedhis lasa! _

“You’ll have to excuse the Herald.” Cassandra came beside him.

“Oh, Cassandra, it is good to see you again.” 

“Agreed. The Herald has just survived her first battle with other people and is… recovering.”

Enasal found her voice again, “I thought the Chantry said we were-?

What was the word again?

“-heretics.” She concluded

Mother Giselle nodded, “I know of the Chantry’s denouncement, and I’m familiar with those behind it. I won’t lie to you: some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new Divine. Some are simply terrified. So many good people, senselessly taken from us…”

Enasal remembered all the corpses scattered around the Breach. “It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”

Mother Giselle nodded, “Fear makes us desperate, but hopefully not beyond reason.” She then spoke to all of them, “Find a reason to go to Val Royeaux. They have only heard tales of a savage Dalish who is believed to have killed our Divine. Give them something else to believe.

“But they want to kill me!”

The Mother nodded behind Enasal, “You are no longer alone...”

Enasal looked back and Varric, Solas, and Cassandra.

She wasn’t alone.

Not anymore.

“You needn’t convince them all. You just need some of them to  _ doubt _ . Their power is their unified voice. Take that from them, and you receive the time you need.”

“If they think I’m a Dalish Savage what would it change if I did go?” She pointed to the tattoo below her eyes, “This is all they need to see.”

Mother Giselle shook her head, “ I honestly don’t know if you’ve been touched by fate or sent to help us… but I hope.” She gestured to the people around her. Cold, hungry, homeless, and afraid. 

“Hope is what we need now. The people will listen to your rallying call, as they will listen to no other. You could build the Inquisition into a force that will deliver us… or destroy us. I will go to Haven and provide Sister Leliana the names of those in the Chantry that would be amenable to a gathering. It is not much, but I will do whatever I can.”

Enasal nodded, ‘Yes.. thank you Mother Giselle.”

“Oh…” the Mother turned around, “And do talk to Corporal Vale. He is rather hoping that you will be able to aid the refugees while you’re here.”

Varric clapped her on the shoulder. “We’ll take it from here, you go back to camp and rest.”

Cassandra raised her eyebrows, “That was… actually a good idea.”

He grinned, “I have my moments.” 

Enasal wanted to keep going, but she was drained. Going back to camp would be the best thing for her. 

She sat down by the fire, looking at the flames. She didn’t even feel like taking her shoes off. 

“Oh, Herald - you’re back early?”

Enasal glanced up, “Oh… yes. Scout Harding, right?”

“In person.” She sat down beside Enasal, “So, the Herald of Andraste?”

“I don’t really want to talk about that right now.” 

“Oh, okay.” She leaned back and looked at the sky, “It’ll be nice when the Breach is gone, really ruins the view.”

“Especially at night.” Enasal found herself agreeing. 

“So…” Harding was clickling her boots together, “Where are the others?”

It was time to start staring at the fire again.

“They’re back at the crossroads. They sent me to go rest.”

“What happened?”

Enasal stood up, bouncing on the balls of her feet, “There was a battle. Mages and templars and our own soldiers all tangled up… I lost count of how many times they almost got me and… and I killed three people… maybe five if they die later.”

“Ow, that’s no fun.” She sat up, “With all the stories of you killing demons, I didn’t think it would bother you.”

Enasal looked away, “Demons. I like killing demons. But I killed  _ people _ today.”

“Are you okay?” 

“No. No, Scout Harding, I’m not okay.”

Harding didn’t say much until she pointed at it. “Look at that. With the Breach behind us we can pretend everything is normal.”

“I don’t want normal.”

“Why not?”

Enasal took to pacing, “I want better than normal. My clan banished me for something I didn’t even do - and that was… terrible.” She busied herself with throwing some more logs on the fire, “And this? Killing people? That just lives up to their expectations!”

“Whoa there, okay.” Harding got up. “You’re not just killing for fun - you defend yourself and you defend others. That’s the difference.” 

Enasal quieted and sat back down. “I suppose you’re right. Some Herald, I am.”

“Ah, you’re doing fine. I would expect anyone who hadn’t been through battles to be a little shaken up about it. Now if you weren't - then I’d be worried!”

With a hint of a smile, Enasal leaned towards the fire. “Sorry to put all that on you. That all came on… suddenly”

“Don’t worry about - and don’t feel bad about crying. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve gone into one of those tents and cried? The answer is a lot. Fact is, some people feel things deeper than others, so things bother them more.” Frowning and getting up, Harding went to the ledge, “If anything - oh good, just them -” She returned to the fire. “If anything, you feeling deeply is the best thing for a Herald. You feel the pain of others, so you’re better to fix them.”

Enasal nodded.

“And hey, “ She nudged Enasal, “Even Andraste herself killed things and cried. So just tell people you’re resonating with her. Or maybe not, that may make them mad.” She looked around before adding, “And, I have a report to write. Lady Leliana would want me to keep her informed.”

Familiar voice began rounding the corner, and Enasal jumped up to greet her comrades in arms.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal and Solas try to find a shard and discuss their language.  
> Josephine low-key recks her fellow advisors.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySYh1YXAfOw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySYh1YXAfOw)

Enasal had come to the conclusion that helping the people of the crossroads would take just as long in a group as it would with a few people. In her first official decision with the Inquisition, she directed Varric to take a group to hunt for food while Cassandra took an outfit of soldiers to remove bandits that had been bothering the refugees. 

Meanwhile, she and Solas could do their research and search for rifts.

She was quite happy to have some time alone with her teacher. Solas wove tales drawn from the fade; of battles and places and creatures. Enasal sang the songs of her childhood and pestred him with question after question. 

“Does the fade have any songs?” She asked as she leapt into the treeline on the left.

“There are many echoes of ancient songs of our people, and others.”

“Are there songs that exist only in the fade?” She leapt over the path and into the right treeline.

“None that I have met.” Solas’s eyes followed Enasal as she nipped and out of trees. 

She was truly a strange elf.

“My clan’s…” From the right side of the path to the left, “Only redeeming quality,” back to the right, “Are the songs.” She stopped jumping and came to his side, happily bouncing on her toes, “Things that other clans say, we sing. We sing the prayers and the stories.”

“That’s interesting. It’s been quite awhile since I've heard of a clan doing such.” He smiled, “You’ll have to sing some of you songs for me, sometime.”

Enasal shook her head, “Only if you sing some of the old songs you’ve heard in the fade.”

Solas laughed, “No,  _ da'len _ , you do not want to hear me sing.”

“Then no songs for you.” Enasal teased,

Solas chucked - she wouldn’t be able to resist herself, she’d tell him soon enough.

Enasal stopped in her tracks. “There’s magic… I can’t smell it, but I can hear it - can you?”

Solas strained his ears. On the edge of his hearing, a sound reminiscent of bells.

His student had already dove headlong into the forest. A nearby tree shook and he spotted Enasal towards the top, teetering until she leapt to grab a spot on a rockface, scrambling up to the top and rolling onto the grass. 

She was as spry as she was strange.

“Solas! I found one!”

She appeared on the edge of the cliff, holding up a sort of rock. “It’s beautiful”

“Can you bring it down,  _ da'len?” _ Solas shouted, “Or should I find a way to you?”

“I got it!” She jumped to a nearby tree, slid down, and ran up to him, her pack looking considerably heavier.

“Show it to me.” The sound of bells was slightly louder this close. 

Enasal heaved it from her pack and onto the ground. It was rectangular and specked with a bluish crystal of some kind.

“Wonderful!” Solas picked it up and started examining it, “We’ll take it back to Haven for study - I’ll take it so you don’t topple over into a bush.”

“You would laugh, don’t pretend.”

Solas smiled, “We should make our way to Master Dennet. I admit, I would like to see if we could reach him before the others.”

“Competitiveness from you? Agreed!” Enasal said before running ahead.

Solas often sent her somewhere or another so he could observe. Did she do something to manipulate the amount of friction around her? Lower friction - faster running. Increasing friction - easier climbing. He was unsure if her habit of standing on her toes had anything to with her strange nature.

Enasal stopped to wait for him on the outskirts, waving him to hurry - she looked concerned.

When he was within shouting distance, she pointed nearby and yelled, “A rift is close!”

Solas slowled to a walk, looking at the nearby hill. Matter from the fade was peeking out over the precipice.

“I see. When the other’s return we should take care of it. Would you mind if I tried something while we waited?

Enasal shook her head

“Here, let’s move somewhere safer.” He ushered her with a hand on her back. “You and I both speak Elven, but the dialect of your clan is… odd, to put it mildly. However, I want to say some things, tell me what you think it means.”

The next words seemed incredibly familiar, but sounded like nothing she’s ever heard.

He stared at her, waiting for a response.

“Something… about running - leaving?”

He nodded and spoke again.

“A danger of something - and intrusion?”

A final time.

“A victory… bittersweet?”

Solas nodded, “You just understood three different Elven dialects - all ancient that no longer exist in Thedas.”

“How?”

“Often, even a city elf will respond to Elvein - the rhythm, the sounds. It’s something we all can understand - even if we don’t know it.”

She lay in the grass and asked, “Solas, why do you know so much?” My Keeper had to say ‘I don’t know’ so often. Why don’t we know more?”

He leaned on his staff, “Most elves do not look beyond their own clan or their own alleniage. Certainly, during  _ Arlathvhen  _ you meet with other clans and information is shared-”

“And your keepers ask you to look for other fifteen-year-olds that you might bond with some day.” 

“Did she?” He chucked, “Why is it that I thank you didn’t listen?”

“I found some birds to sing with and ran around trying to learn anything from anyone who would listen.”

“Why would I think you’d do otherwise?” Then he tilted his head, “Does you clan not bond with fellow members.”

Ensal raised her eyebrows and grin, “We are a  _ very  _ small clan. We’re all related.”

“Ah, I see. Wise.”

“The next  _ Arlathvhen _ would have been the perfect time to get me out of the clan. It was explained to me that I’m at the perfect age to bond with another, and that I should do anything within my power to find someone. Traditionally, the woman moves to the man’s clan.”

“Explain to me.” Solas said, “Why do you dislike your clan so much.”

Enasal ignored him, “Maybe we should at least go look at the rift.”

“No,  _ da'len _ .” He said with a shake of his head. “It is not safe. “ He decided to listen to Varric’s advice. He would wait until Enasal brought up her clan - not force it.

  
  


[ Rule of Rose OST - Backbiting ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoYqUlEFY5Y)

Josephine waved Leliana and Cullen in as they made their way to the war room. “A correspondence from Scout Harding. ‘Lady Josephine, as I write to you the Herald and her companions are returning to Haven. The Crosswoods have been stabilized and the mages and templars only remain in small numbers. Master  Dennet is also preparing to make his way to Haven to act as horsemaster. 

‘Our Lady Herald also wished that I shared that they found a rock that has - in her words - blue in it. Please see the below list for casualties and fatalities.’”

Cullen took the prepared list and went over, while Lelianna looked at Josephine, “Josie… ‘a rock with blue in it’?”

“Something elven, perhaps?”

“Or from the templars or mages?”

Cullen smacked the paper, “Would you look at this? Forty-eight major injuries healed by mages!” He shook his head, “I’m not even going to discuss the minor injuries in polite company. Our soldiers are getting cl…”

He looked closer and then stood straight, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Enasal accounts for twenty-one of the injuries.”

“Twenty-one? Lelianna asked, clicking her tongue, “I need to teach her how to dodge better.”

“What?” Cullen asiked, “She doesn’t need to learn to  _ dodge  _ better, she needs actual armor! I told you that leather would not lend itself to how she fights!”

“If you weigh her down-”

“Then when she gets hit, her armor will protect her, that’s what it  _ does.” _

“Does it always have to be about hitting with you-?”

Josephine stepped between them, “Commander, Lelianna. I think the point is that the Herald is safe and should be returning to us within the week. We should do something to remind the people that she has returned.”

“A service in the Chantry - that will be all the reminder they would need.” Leliana said.

“A set of armor so she won’t die?”

Josephine started, “I was thinking something more like a party.”

“Look,” Cullen said, “I’m just saying that we’re parading the Herald without proper armor - isn't that asking for something to happen?”

Leliana shook her head, “She should be able to doge and run, if she’s slow, she’ll get hit more than she already does.”

“Or,” Josephine said, suddenly stern, “We can talk about the party to welcome back our Herald. Leliana, we will need a few trustworthy bards. We do not have enough space to hold everyone in the Chantry comfortably, so we must improvise. Cullen, take some of your soldiers to cut wood - we will be building bonfires through Haven so everyone will be comfortable. I will look after food and beverages of course - and the moment she returns she will see the fires and hear the music.”

“Shouldn’t we wait until the day after she gets back?” Cullen asked, “Coming from experience, parties at the end of a campaign are tedious at best and tortuous at worst.”

“That is an excellent point.” Josephine flipped a page so she could rewrite. Just have the wood ready as soon as possible.”

“Finally, an order that won’t get any eyerolls.” Cullen busied himself with the map on the table, “My men keep asking about her, and Leliana I’m sure your agents do, as well. The people are curious, and it seems just seeing her isn’t enough.”

“Party.” Josephine said, “We will have a party. Ensal will be there - she will talk to people - and both of you will have a good time.” She flipped a page and continued writing. “And if I hear news of any arguments between you two, remember that I decide how our money is spent.”

There were no arguments.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal returns to Haven and party plans are discussed.  
> She hears conflicting arguments in the continues fight of Dodging v Armor

[ My Home, Sweet Home / Final Fantasy Ⅴ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53Ql1FOtE1o)

  
  


When lookouts confirmed that Enasal and her companions were nearing Haven, her advisors came out to meet them. On seeing them, Enasal nudged her new horse into a gallop, followed by all except Varric, who seemed content to keep a steady pace. 

“Dwarves can do about anything,” He had told Enasal as Cassandra boosted him on the horse. But swimming and riding horses is something not suited for us.” 

“Welcome back, Herald.” Josephine began, “I see you were able to talk to Master Dennet.”

Enasal nodded, “He’ll be on his way up here with more horses, but he needs to settle some affairs. I have some places where he would like guard towers built, and once that’s taken care of, he’s ours.”

She watched Solas and Cassandra dismount, then swung her legs meaningfully and laughed, “If I could get a little help here?”

Cullen stepped forward and reached up and plucked her off the horse. He held her a few seconds before putting her down “Maker, you weight nothing!”

She laughed, “Thanks, last time I tried to get off I fell on my face.”

“ _Shit!”_

Varric was on the ground and dusting himself off.

Enasal grinned, “Let go of your pride and just ask for help!”

“Seastorm, you’re adorable - you can get whatever you want without shame.”

Josephine reminded herself to not bend over to talk to the tiny Herald, and just declined her head, “Tomorrow we will have a party announcing your return, but for today, we have a few matters to attend to.” She nodded toward the tavern, “We will have a hot meal ready for everyone shortly.”

Leliana was next, “After you eat make sure you come by and see each of us, we have some things to do and I don’t want anything hanging over your head during your party.”

“Come on, Seastorm, let's eat before you have to go back to being the Herald. Seeker, are you coming?”

“You cannot simply leave the horses here!” Cassandra argued, “We must untack them, brush them-”

“Do not worry, Cassandra,” Leliana reassured, “The horses would be well taken care of. All of you deserve a rest.”

“Anyone seen Chuckles?”

Enasal pointed to the tavern, “He slipped away while we were talking.”

Varric laughed and clapped Enasal on the back, “More for us.” He pointed at her and laughed, “You wouldn’t believe how much she can put away.”

Enasal bumped him with her hip, “I’m an elf. We eat a lot and I’m starving.” She waved to her advisors and followed Cassandra and Varric to the tavern. No sign of Solas, but Enasal figured he’d show up at some point.

Varric was telling a story about a nug that had managed to get inside a whorehouse and cause all sorts of havoc, when Solas came in. He went to a solitary table in the corner and sat down. Enasal rolled her eyes and grabbed her bowl and half-pint to go sit with him. 

_“Dal’an.”_

“Solas.”

They spent the rest of the meal in comfortable silence.

When Enasal was finished, she and Solas exchanged nods and she left to meet with her advisors. 

She found Leliana just outside the Chantry, reading over letters.

“Leilana?”

“Ah, Herald.” Leliana turned away, “Good of you to meet me. I wanted to talk to you about your training.”

“When do we start again?” 

“The day after tomorrow, but we’ll be changing our focus. The list of casualties shows that you were injured many times - so we’re going to work on dodging.”

“I can dodge, Leliana.” Enasal insisted, “But when you’re surrounded by that many enemies you’re going to get hit.”

Leliana shook her head, “You sound like the Commander. We can practice with multiple assailants, I’m sure we can find some practice weapons and soldiers.” 

“Oh, that’ll be fun!”

“And now you don’t sound like him.” Leliana laughed, “This is why I like you, Enasal - you’re not afraid of a good fight.”

Enasal grinned, “Any idea where Josephine and the Commander are?”

“Josephine is in her office, and our Commander should be in the practice fields.” She leaned down and whispered, “He’s _always_ there.”

“Eating?” Enasal asked, “Sleeping?”

She laughed, “Those are the other times he’s not there!”

“Well, I’m cold.” Enasal said, “So I’ll go see Josephine first.”

“Good idea, Herald, get the frost off your back.”

Again with “Herald.” 

She really needed to just tell them. 

Enasal pushed the Chantry doors. She pulled the doors. She threw herself at the doors. Nobody was posted to help with the doors. She wished Varric was there so she could put on a dramatic display to make him laugh. Making him laugh always made her feel better.

She pulled her coat closer and trudged off to the practice field - Maker, why was it so cold?

 _“Hey!_ Watch your footing - if you get hit you’ll be on the ground and a perfect target!”

Enasal stood up on her toes to be a bit taller, “Commander, any issues with my footing?”

Cullen looked behind him. When he saw Enasal he laughed and said, “It’s not your footing I’m worried about.” He looked back towards his soldiers “Lieutenant Vodin, take over while I take the Enasal to the blacksmith.”

“Who?” He asked.

“Maker help me.” He muttered before shouting back, “The Herald!”

That prompted no more questions.

“Do I get new blades?”

He laughed, “No, Enasal, it isn’t your blades I’m concerned about. You injuries in the Hinter-”

“-Leliana already told me, switching training.” 

He frowned, “Leliana thinks that if you’re being hit it’s because you aren’t dodging fast enough.” 

He smiled-smirked. Enasal wished she could finally figure out which he was doing.

“But I’ve seen you in training, I’ve seen you sparing with Cassandra, _and_ you training with Lelianna-”

“Are you following me, Commander?”

“What? Maker no-”

Enasal held her hands up, “I’m sorry, I was trying to joke.” She laughed, “I guess I’m not very good yet. Varric said it’s good to do, so I’m trying to tease people like he does with me. And, it actually does make me feel better when I’m nervous.”

“Varric is…” How in the world would he explain Varric to her? She clearly adored the dwarf, and Varric had joked a number of times about adopting her so it was clear he was fond of her as well.

“Varric doesn’t always remember boundaries.”

Enasal’s eyes widened and she something in Dalish, then shook her head, “Commander, I was not trying to be… oh what's the word - _disrespectful_ in-”

Culled shook his head, “You’re not!”

Another smile-smirk.

“It surprised me. You’ve been so skittish.”

“Well, I know how it all works now.”

“Do you, now?” 

“I think so.” 

Cullen slowed, realizing he was starting to leave her behind. “Sorry, I forgot.”

“It’s alright.

“Listen, Enasal, you got hurt in the Hinterlands - too much. Your injuries account for _half_ of all the injuries. Nine of them were chest injuries - many of those injuries being broken ribs, not to mention stab wounds in multiple places.”

He shook his head, “If you can’t dodge something, you have to be more protected than you are now.”

Something about that made Enasal bristle, “I dodge more often than I get hurt! If you don’t expect any injuries than why are you-”

“No, no, this has nothing to do with your training with Lelianna, it’s just how things are.” He pointed back towards the training ground. “There comes a point when numbers will be overwhelming and you’ll be hit - like in the Hinterlands. If you had had chainmail, plating, _something_ you might not get hurt as much or as badly.”

“I don’t _know.”_ She said, “Leliana says that we just need to focus on dodging and I won’t-”

“Enasal, Leliana and I disagree on most things. She was for the armor that got you seven broken ribs, five bruised ribs, three stab wounds to the left shoulder and two to the right shoulder, and two lacerations on your back. Your armor needs to be completely remade anyway, so why not put some -”

“It’s _fine_ Commander.”

Cullen leaned down - he looked gravely serious, “Enasal. There are some things you need to understand about what is going on. Our cause is outnumbered by some cities. There might be times when you get injured and there is no healing mage about, and finally,” He took a breath, and mentally prepared to make someone very angry.

“Enasal you are just, very… small. A hit that would make me stumble would send you somewhere across Haven. You need something more to protect yourself, you’re the _Herald_ of Andraste! If I send you somewhere, I want you to be well equipped and safe.”

He stood up straight. “Is that alright?”

Enasal nodded, seeming to shrink.

Cullen sighed, “I apologize… that isn’t how I should speak to you, is it? I mean, bending over and all.” 

Enasal stood a bit taller, “Thank you. It’s nice for you to realize that. You know most people don’t, right?”

“I’ve just never… interacted with an adult of your…” He hesitated, “Stature?”

Enasal laughed, “But for once, I’m not the smallest! Because of Varric!” She shrugged, “Well, maybe. We can’t agree on who is tallest, so I just assume it’s me for once.” She grinned, “I tease him about it all the time - then he threatens to write a book about me.”

That laugh and smile was a flicker of her Culled had never seen.

“Fine.” Enasal relented, “You win, Commander.”

“Thank you, I’ll live a few more years knowing you’re better equipped.” He jerked his head towards the blacksmith.

“How long would it take?”

“I don’t know.” Cullen said, “He’s already giving me grief about crafting ti- small armor.”

Enasal grinned. 

The smith fussed over the difficulty of the project, all while bragging that he’d be the only one who could make such armor. He and Cullen spoke for a bit before Cullen thanked him and found Enasal again. 

“Have you seen the others?”

“Leliana yes, Josephine, no.” 

“I’ll walk you.”

“That’d be nice.” 

Back through gates, Cullen looked down at her again and - she was relatively sure - smiled. “Forgive me if I seem to be playing mother hen, but I’ve seen you practice and I’ve heard how you fight. You just jump into the fray with no regard for your own life. Frankly, it worries me.”

Enasal nodded, “Varric and Solas say the same thing. You have no idea how many times post-battle scoldings I get.”

“And not Cassandra?” He chuckled.

“No she just says ‘ugh!’ and walks away.”

“That does sound like her.” He smiled and motioned towards Josepine’s door. “I’m sure Josephine’s eager to see you.”

“Thank you for walking me back - I actually couldn’t get the door open.

A chuckle escaped before Cullen could prevent it, “The doors probably just need oiling, I’ll find someone to get it done.” He saluted, “I hope to see you around Haven, stay safe, Enasal.”

“Stay safe…Cullen?” 

“No ‘Commander’?” He laughed, “I don’t mind.” He assured, putting his hands behind his back and walking towards the Chantry exit.

Enasal was somewhat relieved. As far as she was concerned, the day was basically done.

How much work could Josephine have for her to do, anyway?


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josephine gives too much information.  
> Enasal really hates being cold.  
> It's fixed by a hand-me-down cloak.

##  Chapter 10

[ My Home, Sweet Home / Final Fantasy Ⅴ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53Ql1FOtE1o)

  
  


“Ah, good evening, Enasal.” Josepine said, all business. “We have quite a few correspondents for you to look at. Many of them are invitations to meet people of little consequence, so I will need you to write a letter of regret for me - do not worry about the nuances, I will rewrite it to smooth them out - I just want it to seem as though you wrote the letter.”

Enasal opened her mouth to speak, but Josephine continued two quickly.

“I would, however, like to focus your attention on two of these letters. One is from First Enchanter Vivienne of Montsimmard. She is throwing a salon at the chateau of Duke Bastien de Ghislain and would like you to attend - it will be early next month. This would be a worthy alliance, as she has many connections to Orleasian nobility.”

She took a breath and continued, “Next, we have-”

“Josephine,” Enasal interrupted, “I still can’t really read and I can’t write. I don’t know what a salon is, what a chateau is, what a First Enchanter is, or… I need you to simplify.”

“Oh, yes, forgive me.” Josephine flipped back to the letter. “You have been invited to a formal party by a high-ranking mage.”

_ “That _ , I understand.”

“Thank you for telling me.” she continued, “The second is from a member of Clan Lavellan.”

Enasal visibly blanched.

“Don’t concern yourself, it is not from the ‘other keeper’ you worry about. This one claims to be from your sister and used… let us say, very  _ colorful _ language to demand proof that you are being well treated and not held against your will.

“How did she send a letter?” Enasal asked, “When you say ‘colorful language’ what do you mean?”

“Well, the word use involves a level of cursing and thinly veiled threats.”

“That  _ does  _ sound like Shiral.” 

“There is a signed name.”

Enasal leaned forward, “Can I see the letter?”

Josephine handed it to her and waited as Enasal examined it. She pointed to the edge of the paper. "Her vallasin design is drawn here, and this," she pointed to the bottom of the page, 

"What does this say? I recognize 'my' but that's it."

Josephine took the letter back, "It says 'My love to my storm-brewed sister.'”

"That's Shiral!" Enasal chirped, "She always called me that, always said 'Hair of sea waves and eyes of storm clouds'!”

"I'd be happy to write a letter for you, is there anything you would like me to add."

"I'll draw my Vallasin, and could you write 'My love to my nosy knight? Oh, and ask how she wrote a letter, she can’t write either."

"Ah, the joy of siblings." Josephine laughed.

"You have siblings?"

"Four, actually. Two brothers and two sisters."

Enasal laughed, "The Dalish would kill for birthrates that high!"

"I could have done with a few less." She joked. She looked through the neat stacks of papers on her desk. “Now, I have to go over a few things with you - people have questions about you, so we’ll need to work on that - your history, a statement of you intentions for the Inquisition, deeds you have done…”

The list went on and on.

The candle burned lower and lower.

Finally, Josephine glanced up from her current task and saw Enasal slumped down in her chair, barely conscious.

“What time is it - oh goodness, Enasal, I am very sorry, I've kept you up so late.” Enasal looked at the clock blankly. “What does it say?”

“It’s nearly midnight - forgive me.”

“It’s fine.” Enasal yawned.

“No more, we’ll speak after the party tomorrow. She stood and bowed her head, “Please, Herald - rest.”

  
  
  


[ OUTDOOR CAMP SOUNDS  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TjuJf2_3Rg)

Enasal slept well, so well, in fact, that Varric had to knock on her door so she wouldn't miss breakfast. She was happy to be in the tavern, with its warm fire and warm food.

“I’m so tired of being cold.” Enasal said, grabbing a table as close to the fire as possible.”

“Didn’t you run into cold winters with your clan?” Varric asked.

“Yes, but then I had furs if I needed them, and we usually wandered to warmer climates when it starts to cool.”

“You are  _ shivering, _ Seastorm.” He said, “I’m gonna talk to Ruffles about this, if there’s anyone here who should be warm - it’s  _ you! _ You’re an elf! Elves get cold!”

“Please don’t!” Enasal begged.

“You’re just being stubborn. I’ll ask around. I know your advisors can get a little sidetracked with their arguments - Ruffles is really the only thing that keeps this whole thing running smoothly.”

He left without finishing his breakfast and came back with Josephine in tow.

“Herald, on behalf of all of us, I apologize. The manifest said we had received a warmer coat for you, but I have yet to locate it, and with the party tonight…” She flipped through her notes, as though something in it would have the answer. “I… yes! That would work.” She looked back at Enasal, “I have a cloak - it is old, but warm. We will have to hem it of course, so I’ll have to find somebody - do you think the blacksmith could?”

Varric grinned, “I’m sure he could, but he’s got a lot on his plate, with swords and armor to be made. I’ll take care of it, don’t worry.”

“You can sew?” Ensal asked as Josephine hurried off.

“Seastorm, how many times have you seen a dwarf clothing store...and I just remembered you’ve never been to a city.” He chuckled, “Let me tell you, they don’t exist. When you do find them, they’re too expensive to be worth it. It’s easier to make your own.”

Enasal like the cloak that Josephine brought her. It might have once been the color of emeralds, but it had since dulled to a sort of mossy green. Josephine had said, “I knew I brought this old thing for some reason!” and immediately apologized for its condition.

Enasal thought the color was beautiful.

“It’s a good color for you.” Varric said, making marks on the fabric. “Swallows you whole, but we’ll fix that.” He moved to look at her from the front, “I’m okay with a little overlap in the front, how about you? It’ll be warmer.”

Enasal nodded. 

“So, you make your own?”

“Everything I can, it’s just easier. Alright, off my stool.”

They chatted while Varric sewed. He didn’t seem to need to concentrate very hard, just as Josephine didn’t have to concentrate to write. When he was finished Enasal was put back on the stool so it could get a last check.

“Looking good, Seastorm, the clasp is loose, though.” He grinned, “Let’s see what Harritt has any old bits he’d be willing to do something with. He’s irritated with me though, so when we go, make sure you look real sad about it all.” He snapped, “Oh, and when he looks at you, blink at him a few times - I’ve met a lot of women who get whatever they want doing that.”

Enasal laughed, “Like this?” And batted her eyelashes a few times.

“Yeah, except the effect is better when you’re looking up at someone.”

Back out in the cold, Enasal realized the clock made an immediate difference. Some cold air was wisping in from a gap caused by the loose button, but she was still quite cozy.

“Harritt!” Varric called as they neared the blacksmith. “I know you’re busy, but you could do me a little-”

“I’m busy Varric, not time for your stories and lies.”

“This one - I swear - is not just for me.” He gestured to Enasal, “Our Herald is an elf, if you haven’t noticed. They get cold a lot easier than humans or dwarves-”

“Get on with it, Varric.”

“And the poor kid, one of the buttons is about to fall off. It’s the only thing keeping that cloak on. So if you have any - and I mean  _ any _ \- scrap you could use to make a cloak fastener, I’m sure we’d both appreciate it.” He held his hands before adding, “Nothing flashy now, just something to keep it on her.”

Harritt looked at Enasal. She blinked her eyes.

Harritt sighed, “Fine. I’ll make your fastener - because it’s the Herald.”

Enasal bowed her head, “ _ Ir abelas, _ thank you Ser Harritt.” She wasn’t exactly sure if ser was a given title or just a respectful term, but she decided to risk it.

As the cloak’s button loosed more and more,, Enasal hopped from one foot to another, “I’m going to put this up and go train - help me warm up. Thank you so much, Varric -”

“Give the Seeker, my regards. Tell her I miss her, that it’s tearing me up.”

She laughed, “I will!” She dropped her new cloak in her room and ran to the practice field, finding Cassandra attacking one of the practice dummies.”

“Hello, Cassandra!”

“Enasal.” She answered with a nod.

“This might make you mad, but Varric says hello, he misses you, and it’s tearing him apart.”

“Ugh.” She took a few swings and changed subjects, “I heard, Herald, that you’ve been scolded by Cullen and Lelianna.”

“Ah.” Enasal was suddenly very interested in the sharpness of one of her blades, feeling along the edge of the dagger to check for imaginary defects.

“They disagree often - and both too resolute to relent to the other.”

“What do you think?”

Cassandra stopped slashing the dummy. “From what I have heard, Cullen wants to fix the problem with more armor, Lelianna wants to fix it with more specialized training. Is that true?”

Enasal nodded.

“They are both right. You fight like a warrior but wear the armor or a rogue. Typically, rogues are in and out of the battle, but  _ you _ stay in the middle. I think you need better armor as well as specialized training.”

She returned her focus to the dummy, “Your skills are raw - you have not been fighting men very long, so I suggest doing what both of them say. If only to stop the bickering.”

Enasal laughed. “Oh, Cullen has been  _ very  _ sure that I’ll have some light armor, and Leilanna made it clear that more training would be done.”

“There are some people in this world you cannot argue with - they will simply do as they please.”

“Like you?” Enasal teased.

“And you.” Cassandra glanced down at her feet and shook her head. “At least you have your shoes on.”

Enasal grinned. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal gets to party like it's 1999. (Anyone know the reference?)  
> Meets a future friend, and someone gets jealous.

##  Chapter 11

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWPPD5ww0eA ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWPPD5ww0eA) \+  [ Wind Sounds ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ElqY3Q01Ig) (half volume)

The cloak pin was pressed into the shape of a leaf. 

Enasal had promised herself that she would accept whatever she got from the blacksmith - but her reaction was to let out a loud squeal of “ _ Ma serannas, ra is ina!” _

Solas smiled down at her, “She said, ‘thank you, it is beautiful.’” He shook his head, “She sometimes forgets her Common when she is overly excited.”

“Oh,” Enasal crooned, “It looks like something my grandmother would have made!” She looked at Herritt with damp eyes. “Thank you!”

Herritt shrugged, as though it was nothing, but he smiled.

Enasal pulled her cloak on and pinned it up - and smiled, “That’s nice. No more leaks.”

“You’ll be warm tonight.” Solas said.

The dwindling light was speckled with pinpricks of bonfires in and around Haven. Enasal trotted towards the Chantry to see what there was to eat. To serve all of Haven, food was served in the Chantry, drink in the tavern **,** and music in the area outside the gates.”

“This reminds me of  _ Arlathvhen,  _ Solas!” Enasal said, turning around backward to talk to him.”

“Elaborate,  _ da'len _ .”

“The bonfire paths! Picture it, the  _ Aravels _ , all in a big circle. Bonfires for light or warmth - guiding the path to different camps and stands. Merchants trading goods, crafters and scholars, artists, Keepers sharing everything they've learned! I used to listen to all the other clan’s songs and watched all of their dances - I’d try to do them, but I didn’t even care if anyone saw me! I could talk with other elves, I could dance, I could sing, I could sit in a training circle, and nobody could do anything about it -  _ ir abelas, tel’ abelas!” _

Solas pulled her close and examined her face, “Have you hit your head today? You're very… hyper."

Enasal laughed and shook her head, “No, I’m fine. Solas- it’s a  _ party!” _

He smiled, touched his forehead to hers as he always did when they parted. 

“ _ Dareth shiral, da'len” _

_ “Dareth shiral, dirthalen.” _

“l’ll be keeping my eye out.”

It occurred to her that she felt no desperate need to be near people she knew. She didn’t need Varric or Solas to keep her at ease, didn’t need Cassandra to hide behind. 

She was safe.

Well, as safe as anyone in a world with a torn sky.

Enasal weaved through the people near the sentence.

“Excuse me - anyone?”

She turned to find the source.

“Ugh,  _ kaffas.” _

Enasal found a boy in full armor standing by the Chantry, papers in his hand.

“Do you need help?” She asked.

“Ah, finally. Do you know who I could talk to in charge? I’m having trouble finding anyone.”

“Sorry, we’re having a party, so things are a bit crazy. You can speak to me.”

He raised his eyebrows. “I… need someone who has authority with the Inquisition.”

“That would be me.” She put out her hand as Josephine had taught her. “I’m Enasal… Lavellan.”

“You? Young for a herald, aren’t you?”

“You’re young to be wearing that much armor.”

He laughed, “I’m older than I look.”

“How old?”

“Twenty four.”

Enasal grinned, “We’re the same age.” 

“I’m Krem. I’ve been sent to talk to you about hiring our mercenary group - Bull’s Chargers. We’re tough, we’re expensive, and we’re worth it.”

Enasal jerked her head to the Chantry, “I was about to grab something to eat, let’s discuss over food.” She found a table towards the back, away from the crowds. “Tell me about your group.”

“We’re Bull’s Chargers. We have a total of fifty men and women at your disposal. You’ll mostly be working with seven of us - myself and the Chief primarily. We can be discrete, or we can cause a ruckus.”

She wished Varric were there. “My Common is patchy, so I have to ask. What is a mercenary?”

“You’re not the only one who sometimes misses things - takes an honest person to own up. Mercenary means you pay us to fight for you.”

Enasal’s brow furrowed, “What happens if someone offers to pay you more?”

“You have my word, we’ll remain loyal to the Inquisition. The Chief has never had us approach a potential client.”

Enasal tapped the table with her fingers. “I’d have to speak to my advisors.”

“He wants to meet with the Inquisition - you directly - on the Storm Coast. Wants to show you what we can do.”

“When?” 

“As soon as possible. Got a lot of cultists down there called the Blades of Hessarian. We’ve been fighting them, but there are only so many before we kill them all - Chief wants you to see what we can do.”

Enasal nodded, “Once I have a word with my advisors, I’m sure I can leave in the next few days.”

“It’s not far, only a week on horseback.”

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t promise anything without the other’s blessing.”

“It’s all we ask.”

He tapped the table, “Was good meeting you, your Worship. I’ll go back to deliver the news.”

“No, stay!” Enasal insisted, “It’s dark and cold.”

“Thank you for the offer, but the Chief might not like it.”

“Stay. Tell him the Herald wouldn’t let you leave at night.” She leaned forward, “You’ll stay for the party, and we’ll find a place for your horse and you to sleep.”

Krem leaned back and considered, “Any chance I could sleep a little.” He tilted his head to find the correct words, “On my own?”

“I’m sure we can do that. Maybe in the Chantry? I think we have an extra room downstairs.”

“I might just take that offer.” Krem admitted.

They found their way to the tavern for drinks then towards the bards, both chatting about anything besides fighting.

Off to the side of the main gates, Cullen was watching the bards and dancing with a relaxed smile. He looked up and nodded towards Josephine and Leliana as they came to stand beside him. 

“I believe this has been a success.” Josephine said, “Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves.”

“And you reminded the tavern keeper to cut people off if they get too drunk?” Leilana asked.

“Of course, I did.” Josephine said, “I’ve been to too many parties ruined by-”

Cullen nodded towards the fires, “Look at Enasal.”

She was dancing near one of the fires as the bards sang, up on her toes and bare feet. She twirled and lept, turning to laugh at another dancer, clapping her hands.

Cullen chuckled, “Good thing we got to her before Orlais - they’d have her in a dance school somewhere.”

Josephine’s focus was in an entirely different place, “Where are her shoes?”

“Who’s that she’s dancing with?” Cullen said suddenly, “None of my men wear that armor. Leliana?”

She leaned forwards, “I don’t recognize it; I don’t think he’s one of mine.”

He seemed to be teaching her something, palms together with one hand across the back, spinning in slow circles. As he showed her the more complicated steps, Leliana looked at her fellow advisors.

“Josie, do you know the dance? It’s not Orleasian.”

“It isn’t Antivan.”

“Well it’s certainly not Fereldian.” Cullen grumbled. He looked around, “Have any of you seen Solas or Varric?”

“I saw Varric somewhere near the bards” Leliana said, “But I haven’t seen Solas all night. Should I have someone find them?”

“No.” Cullen shook his head, “Just keep an eye on it.”

“I’ll tell my men to do so as well.” Leliana pulled Josephine by the hand to make their way to the bards. 

“Have any of you seen Solas or Varric?” She mimicked, “Maker, let the poor girl breathe.”

“It is probably why Varric and Solas are giving her so much space. Besides, it seems all in good fun.” Josephine agreed. “She’s had far too much weight on her soldiers.” She looked down at her notes, “Although I don’t entirely disagree with the commander, we should figure out who that is.”

Back near the fires, Krem continued to teach Enasal, “My father taught me this dance.” Krem said, “My fondest memory of him - there’s no leader, no man’s part or ladies’ part, everyone is on equal footing. Another round?”

“Let’s!” The rest of the night was spent at the tavern, talking and drinking. Varric found them far after midnight, sitting on an old fence and talking over mulled wine.

“Seastorm!”

Enasal threw her hands up in the air, “Varric!” She turned to Krem, “Krem, this is Varric,” She said something in a mix of Dalish and Common.

Varric laughed, “You’re so drunk, you can’t speak Common?”

Enasal said something else in Dalish, paused, thought, then said, "Varric - Krem!”

“Good to meet you.” Krem said with a toast of his mug.

“You two look like you’re having all sorts of fun, but  _ one of you _ .” He gestured to Enasal, “Has had way too much. I’m going to take her home if you don’t mind.”

“I understand.” He tapped her mug with his, “Goodnight, Enasal.”

Enasal gestured toward Krem, “Krem needs a -” Something in Dalish. She shook her head and spoke very slowly, putting effort into each word, “Krem needs to sleep.”

Krem laughed and boosted himself off the ledge. “No need, Enasal. The more I think about it, the more I’d rather just get a few miles in and camp out.” He turned to leave, “Horns up, Herald!” He shouted, walking towards the stable.

“Horns up!” Enasal called.

Varric was practically holding her up at this point, “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know!” Enasal laughed. 

“Enasal, where are your shoes?”

She laughed, and Varric was unsure if any actual words were said.

He chuckled, “Eh, we’ll find them tomorrow.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somebody gets hungover and gets some armor.  
> (It's Enasal)

Enasal teetered on the bench in the tavern as Varric put food in front of her.

“Eat.” He laughed, “I promise you’ll feel better.”

Enasal shook her head. “I’m dying.”

“You’re not  _ dying _ , Seastorm, you’re hungover. Now eat before I tell your teacher.” He was laughing and had no actual plans to say anything. If Solas didn't know, it wasn’t his business to tell him anything.

“They’re going to kill me.” Enasal said, “I made a promise -  _ while drunk  _ \- to a mercenary group, while we have First Enchanter Vivienne's thing in a month.” She put her head on the table.

“Don’t tell them you were drunk, just tell them about all the parts before that.” He shrugged, “Now eat up and keep drinking that tea. You still have a few hours before you report to your little counsel, that’s plenty of time. You’ll eat, have a nap - bet you’re still tired. I’ll wake you back up to eat again, and by then, you’ll be good as new.”

Enasal had finally started eating, “I remember everything, Varric - was any of that inappropriate? Did I break any human rules? What-”

“Seastorm, calm down.” Varric said, “I was watching the whole time. You didn’t do anything inappropriate for a party.”

Enasal sat up and looked at him, “You were watching me?” 

“Do you think Solas and I would  _ really _ cut you completely loose? Nah, we watched. She sings, she dances, she’s the Herald of Andraste!” 

“Please kill me.”

“For your information, your advisors were watching too - they seemed to enjoy the performance.” 

“Really?”

“I’m sure Ruffles will put your talents to good use.”

“I’m embarrassed.”

“It’s your first drunk story” He gave her a light punch in the arm, “Be  _ proud _ of it!”

Enasal was not proud of it. In the coming months, she would treasure the memory, but as she headed to the war room, she felt no sense of pride. She had hoped that all three would already be there so the whole meeting could get done as quickly as possible, but it was only Cullen.

He nodded, “Afternoon, Enasal.”

“Good afternoon, Commander.”

He chuckled, “What happened to calling me Cullen?”

Enasal’s shoulders were hunched, “Commander, I’m so sorry about last night, ser.” She said, “I know I didn’t practice proper… oh, what is it in Common?” She said a few related words in Dalish in a desperate attempt to find a synonym to the word she needed.

Cullen put a hand on her arm, “It’s fine.” He said, smirk-smiling, “I thought it was nice.”

“You… did?”

“I did.” He still had that smile, “You dance well. Where did you learn that?”

Enasal found herself smiling, “I wasn’t supposed to, but I watched the rest of my clan, then I copied.” She shrugged, “We have a gathering every ten years of the Dalish - we trade knowledge and anything else you could imagine. I’d watch everyone dance and listen to everyone sing. And I practiced.” She looked at him for the first time in their conversation, “When I was alone, that’s what I did. I’d practice form with my b;ades, I'd practice dance, and I'd practice song.”

“I never realized.” He smiled, “Every time I talk to you, I find out something new.”

Josephine came in and looked between the two. “Why is it just you two? I thought I was the only one late. Did you send Leliana to find me?”

“We haven’t seen her.” Cullen said, “Enasal just got here.”

“Why are we all so unsorted this morning?”

Cullen leaned forward and whispered, “Do you suppose she had too much as well?”

Enasal giggled.

When they had all managed to get back into the same room, Josephine was raring to go.

“The salon of First Enchanter Vivienne will be here before we know it. We must find Enasal something to wear. We can’t send her looking like she’s ready to go into battle.

“Perhaps model her dress off something similar to Andraste?” Leliana offered,

“Do we  _ really _ want to dress her up like Andraste?” Cullen asked, “We’ve already been labeled as heretics, we don’t want to make it worse.”

“Besides,” he continued, “What do we  _ know  _ about this Lady Vivienne? Half of Thedas wants to kill Enasal and -”

“I need to go to the Storm Coast!” Enasal blurted.

Her advisors turned to look at her.

“Last night I met a representative of a mercenary group - Bull’s Chargers. They want to join the Inquisition.” 

“Enasal,” Josephine said. “It would take you a week to get there and two weeks to Orlais.”

“We can make it.” Enasal said. “Travel until it’s time to sleep until, wake up at sunrise, eat while we ride, we can do it.”

Cullen leaned on the war table. “In all honesty, I’d rather her go meet with the Chargers. I’ve heard things about them, they’re a solid group.”

Leliana shook her head, “First Enchanter Vivenne has many connections that could further our cause.”

Cullen stood straight. “Orlais is a den of snakes and you know it! Sending her there-”

“Can we  _ please _ talk about the Storm Coast.” Enasal begged. 

“I say we send her to meet with the Chargers.” Cullen said. “If you insist on sending her to Orlais, we can arrange a coach to meet her once the roads are suitable - it will be faster than on horseback.”

Josephine relented, “Alright, but Enasal,” She spoke very firmly, “Do not get hurt. You must appear healthy and well taken care of.”

Leliana agreed, “And we cannot promise a healing mage.”

“I’ll talk to Solas about focusing on barriers.” She promised.

Josephine heaved a sigh, “Leliana, have someone track down Solas, Varric, and Cassandra and tell them to get ready.”

Cullen leaned towards Enasal, “And I’ll take our Herald to pick up her new armor. Enasal?”

“Right.” Enasal agreed, wanting nothing more than to leave. She felt nauseous and her head still pounded.

Herritt seemed to have been waiting for them. He had it all ready to present as soon as he saw them.

“First layer, finest leather I could get my hands on - tough, but flexible.”. He put out a few bits of armor. “Breastplate, arm guards, shin cards, and a bit to watch you’re back.” He grinned, “The commander told me of all your injuries.” He laid the final piece on the table, “Your overcoat. Buttons to the neck and will keep you warm - oh, and,”. He pulled out two sheaths attached to a belt, “I think at your size, keeping your daggers at the hip may work better than at your back - looked awkward for you.”

Enasal nodded. He wasn’t wrong.

“Go put on the pants and shirt.” Cullen said, “I’ll show you how to put your armor on.”

He helped her piece by piece, showing her how to tighten the belts, explaining how tight it should fit. He was helping her adjust the length of her sheaths when he stopped and looked at something hanging on her belt.

“Enasal, what’s this?”

She grinned sheepishly, “Lockpicks,” she admitted, “Leliana’s been teaching me.”

He chuckled, “She’s a bad influence on you.” He clapped his hand on her arm, “Be careful, Enasal. Just because you have some armor doesn’t make you invincible.”

“I will.”

“Promise me.”

“I promise.” 

He nodded, “Thank you, that eases my mind.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal meets the Chargers, and Bull decides he wants to throw her someday.

Krem dismounted and walked toward the rest of the Chargers, a hand raised, “Back, Chief.”

“Krem!” Bull said with a grin, “There you are. Make contact?”

“With the Herald herself.” He said, “She said she’d leave out within a few days when I talked to her, so she shouldn’t be too far behind.”

“Good. Still plenty of cultists to kill, hopefully, there’ll be some left when she gets here.” He leaned forward, “I’ve got some information on her, but I want to know what you think, Krem.”

“Well, Chief, it’s right that she’s small, but…” He held his hand in the air beside him to show Enasal’s height.  _ “Very _ small. An elf too, they’re right on that-”

“That small?” Bull asked.

Krem nodded.

Bull stared off into the ocean for a few seconds before saying. “I want to throw her. I want to pick her up and throw her as far as I can.”

“Chief, I don’t know if you should be throwing the Herald of Andraste around.”

“Anything else?”

“Spirited.” He said, “Seems of a good sort. Pretty.”

Bull laughed, “Careful there, Krem. Eventually, you’ll need to explain.”

“She’s not  _ that _ pretty, Chief.” 

“You were running a little late.”

Krem nodded, “They were having a party when I got there. The Herald convinced me to stay a bit. It was good, got to know her better. Can’t hold her drink, though. A dwarf came and toted her away at the end.” He shrugged, “Tried to offer a room for the night, but you know.”

Bull nodded in understanding. “We just got done with another group, come have something to drink.”

“Yes, Chief.”

  
  
  
  


Varric made sure to negotiate his horse in front of his Seastorm. He had given up controlling the girl, but he could at least try to block her.

“Last time I was near the sea, I spent the whole time getting sick over the side.”

“We won’t be on a boat, Seastorm.” Varric assured.

“Be careful.” Cassandra warned, “We’ve yet to send any scouts this way, we are on our own.”

Solas slowed his horse and dismounted, “The road ahead looks less than favorable.” He said, walking to Enasal and lifting her off her horse. “We should walk from here.”

“Seeker, a little help!” Called Varric.

“Ugh.” She muttered, hoisting Varric off and dropping him to the ground.

Enasal perked up, “You hear that? Fighting ahead.”

Off of the road and onto an overhang, they could see the battle taking place.

“That’s them. Enasal said, “I see Krem down there.”

“A qunari.” Cassandra said, pointing to the gray-skinned behemoth in the center of a brawl.”

“A variety of fighting styles.” Solas added.

Enasal was watching with a crinkled brow, “They’re fighting an awful lot of them.” 

The odds were not in the Chargers favor. They didn’t seem to be struggling, but Enasal couldn’t just stand and watch.

Varric grabbed her arm, “No. I told Curly we’d look after you, this isn’t the time for you to be fighting.”

Enasal took a step back. 

Then, before she could be stopped, she darted ahead and lept from the overhang.

Varric loaded Bianca,  _ “Shit, _ why can’t she listen!”

Cassandra and Solas were running down the hill, Solas casting barrier spells onto his student while Cassandra readied herself.

A slice here and a slash there, Ducking down as a man ran at her and standing again to dump him off her back and onto the ground, where she was able to give the final strike. The giant was nearby, enemies flying away from his as he struck with a massive hammer.

Spells flew this way and that, fire and barriers, glyphs and ice. Enasal lept and parried, trying to dodge and avoid injury - she wasn’t sure if the Charger’s mage could heal.

The final blow by the giant, crushing the other man’s skull into paste.

“Alright, good fight!” The giant called. He turned to Enasal, “So you’re the Herald - didn’t know how good you’d be in a fight.”

Enasal looked quite pleased with herself.

“Heard all sorts of things about you, Herald. Krem told me his impressions, and I have some information, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t more to you. Come, let’s have a sit.”

On an old piece of dried driftwood, the man sat and gestured beside him. Enasal was painfully aware that her feet couldn’t touch the pebbled ground.

Krem walked up, “Chief, the throat cutters are done.”

“Have them check again. I don’t want anyone crawling back somewhere. Then open the caskets.” 

“Yes, Chief.” He smiled at Enasal, “Good to see you again, Herald”

“Good to see you again too, Krem.”

“I’m the Iron Bull.” He said, “And you’ve seen what we can do. We’re expensive, but we’ll be well worth it.”

“How expensive?” Enasal asked.

“Nothing that your Inquisition can’t handle. I went ahead and made contact with your advisors, a little after Krem got back.”

“I can tell you know what you’re doing.” Enasal said, “And you’re welcome to the Inquisition.”

Cassandra wasn’t pleased, “Are you sure, Herald? We know nothing of these people.”

“Speaking of knowing nothing,” Bull said, “Best you hear this from me. I’m  _ Ben-Hassrath _ .”

Enasal’s face was blank, but Varric and Cassandra both bristled.

“I knew it!” Cassandra said, “Herald, this man is a spy for the Qunari - he will-”

Bull held up his hand, “I’m not going to give them any information that will disrupt your cause. On top of it, I’ll pass on some information to you guys.”

“You sure we can trust this, Seastorm?” Varric asked.

“We will support your decision,  _ da'len, _ but think carefully.”

Enasal didn’t think long. She held her hand out, “Welcome to the Inquisition.” 

Bull to her hand between his thumb and forefinger, “You got it, boss. Stay for a drink?”

Enasal shook her head, “I can’t. I have another matter to attend to, and my advisors are already unhappy with me being here.” She did the salute she had seen so many others perform, “Thank you for meeting with us, I’ll see you as soon as I get back from Orlais.”

“Sure.” Bull said, “See you then, boss.”

When they had disappeared over the ridge, Iron Bull nudged Krem and laughed, “You’re right, cute. Redhead.”

Krem rolled his eyes, “You’d break her, Chief.”

“Fine. But I still want to throw her.”

“Chief, you can’t throw the Herald of… why am I even fighting this?”

Bull gave a hearty laugh before prying open one of the caskets of beer. He dipped his mug in and saluted his men. “Horns up!” He shouted.

“Horns up!”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal does not want to go to Orlais and takes some time to explain a Dalish word.

Scouts must have announced their arrival, because Josephine was waiting when they arrived. Solas practically passed Enasal to her, and Josephine hurried her into the war room.

A woman she didn’t recognize cooed nearby, “You are so right, Josephine! She is so tiny, like a little doll!”

“Out, Commander.” 

"I'm in the middle of-"

Josephine ignored, “Enasal, take off your coat. Quickly quickly, you leave in three days and we have very little time.”

“I told you I’d make it.” She said, “With time to spare!”

“You’ll be the death of me.” She shook her head with an eye roll and a smile, then looked back at Cullen, “Go, this will not do. We have to check her dress and will be pinned and adjusted and-”

“I’m trying to work here.” He said, gesturing towards the map. “Can’t you do this elsewhere?” 

Josephine said something in a language Enasal didn’t know, then turned to her and took her hand, “To my office then.”

The other woman scooped up a stool and followed them, still chirping excitedly.

“Hurry, Enasal, clothes off, then on the stool.”

“Oh I am  _ so _ glad I brought my tallest stool.” Said the woman.

“Annason Garett.” Josephine introduced, “We brought her from Orlais to help with your dress.”

“Oh, such a  _ challenge! _ ” Annason said, clapping her hands, “So tiny, but womanly -  _ oh,  _ I cannot wait!”

Josephine nodded, somewhat less stressed now that Enasal was standing and ready to be dressed up.

Leliana’s laughter came from the other side of the door. “I thought we were doing this in the war room. Can I come in?”

“Is anyone out there?”

“No one that will see.”

“Then hurry.” Josephine said, waving her in despite the closed door, “Enasal is still waiting for the dress.”

The door opened and shut, and Leliana came in, “I think I have been teasing the Commander too much.” She said, “He’s grumpy.”

“He’s always grumpy.” Josephine said.

Enasal interrupted. “I’m standing on a stool in my smallclothes. I. Am. Cold.”

“Oh, Enasal!” Josephine seemed to have forgotten she was there, “I apologize, here, Annason, get the dress.”

“You missed the bickering.” Leliana said, “But in the end, we decided simple was better. No affiliation with anyone obvious, but elegant.”

Enasal was blinded by fabric.

“We decided to go with green to celebrate your Dalish roots.”

“I will be going to do your hair, as well, Herald!” Annason squeaked. Her wide-eyed face appeared as the dress was yanked over Enasal’s head. 

“What could you possibly do with  _ my _ hair?”

“A clip here, a flower there. I’ve worked on worse.”

As the dress was tugged and pinned, Enasal started at the wall, bored and tired. She had wanted to get back, greet her advisors, get some food, take a bath, and go to sleep. Being tugged and pulled was not on the list.

“Now,” Josephine said, “When you arrive at the chateau, look straight ahead, and chin up.” She took Enasal’s chin and lifted it, “Like this.”

“We will have to practice in your dress. You must bow and - oh Maker, she has to practice eating.”

Enasal had stopped listening.

“Oh, and Enasal if there are any cakes or cookies but you do not see anyone else eating them -  _ do not eat them _ .”

“And if people are eating them, watch to make sure other people are not avoiding them.”

“Avoid all political conversation - Orlais is in the midst of civil war, and you do not want to-“

Enasal held her hands up, “I’m sorry, I can’t keep track of all this. I just got back from nothing but breakneck travel, and I’m  _ tired. _ I just want food and a bath.”

Annason tucked the fabric at her waist, “I am almost done, your Worship - oh how exciting!”

Enasal thought that the day was over, but as soon as she had put on most of her clothes, she was rushed back to the war room.

“Done playing dress-up?” Cullen asked as they came in.

“Annason should have the alterations done by tomorrow - she promised she’d work overnight.”

“And tomorrow, we will put Enasal through some training on Orlais etiquette.”

Cullen tapped the war table, “I still say we shouldn’t send her - she’s never even been to a city, how do you expect her to navigate?”

“Annason will be acting as a guide.” Josephine assured.

“Will Annason be in the chateau with her?” He asked.

“Of course not, she is not a member of the Inquisition.”

“Good, so Enasal can be stabbed in the back from someone playing  _ The Game.”  _ The last words were said with an obvious amount of disdain.

“I could bring Varric.” Enasal offered, “Or Solas or Cassandra. Why not all three?”

Josephine looked shocked, “Enasal do you really think any of them would do well at a party in Orlais?”

Enasal threw her hands up, “ _ I don’t know! _ Why would you think I know that?” She shook her head, “I have never -  _ never _ be among humans until I came here, why do you think I know what’s appropriate to do and not to do?  _ Fenedhis! _ ” She slumped and put her head on the table, leaning against it.” 

“Look at her!” Cullen said, “She doesn’t know what to do - I say we send someone in her stead.”

"First Enchanter Vivienne asked for her personally.” Leliana said, “We  _ need  _ allies, Cullen. Wars aren’t just won with swords-”

“And throwing Enasal to the wolves will?”

A bang interrupted the fighting as Enasal slammed her hands onto the table. “Then come with me!”

Cullen stopped. “What?”

“Look, Leliana and Josephine are right. We need allies. But you’re right, too. I have no idea what I’m doing and will probably end up dead somewhere if I go on my own.” She stood straighter, eyes on the war table. “So come with me. That way, everyone is happy, and we can move on with it!

Josephine leaned towards Leliana, “That’s actually a very good idea. Being escorted by the Commander of the Inquisitions troops  _ would _ make an impression.”

“Show off our army in the most polite way.” Leliana agreed, “Brilliant, Enasal.”

“What?” Cullen said, “No, absolutely not.”

“Commander, who else would go with her?” Josephine asked.

“You! Leliana!”

Leliana shook her head, “Josie and I are too well known in The Game.”

“Oh!” Josephine said, “We can put him in the diplomatic clothes we have been working on.”

“Not  _ those _ .” Cullen muttered. 

“They fit you, and you look handsome.” Leliana laughed.

“Decision!” Enasal begged, “Please, I’m to the point that I will go alone if it ends this meeting and I can eat!”

“Cullen.” Leliana said, “Do you hear? She is fine either way.”

“That’s not fair, she’s  _ exhausted!  _ This is completely taking advantage of her!”

Leliana nodded, “Nothing in this is fair to her. But it’s how things have gone.”

Cullen looked at Enasal, leaned over the table, and her head down.

“Fine. Because you two won’t go, and we can’t trust the others.” He leaned against the table, “Although why you think I’m a good choice is beyond me.”

“Thank you, Creator.” Enasal said, pushing herself away from the table.

Josephine sighed, “I’m sorry, Enasal. It is easy to forget how new all of this is to you. Go, eat something, and we’ll have hot water delivered to your room. We’ll worry about the rest tomorrow.”

“The rest” ended up being an ordeal. She was woken early by Josephine and brought to the war room, where Cullen and Leliana were already waiting. They spent most of the day practicing proper Orlais etiquette. It was a mishmash of rules and customs that often seemed to switch and change depending on the slightest of variations in a day or event. 

“It’s like being back at the Chantry.” Cullen muttered over lunch, “And not the good parts.”

Enasal looked around them and raised her eyebrows at him.

“No, not  _ this  _ Chantry.” He laughed, “Where I learned to be a templar.”. 

Enasal leaned forward, “What was it like?”

“Well,” He tilted his head to the side, “I enjoyed it.” He leaned back in his chair. “We had templars in our town, I always followed them around. They started training me, probably to shut me up - I harassed them daily.”

“You?” Enasal laughed, “I can’t picture you following anyone around.”

“I was a boy.” He said with a shrug, “But, they saw something in me. Talked my mother into sending me off for templar training.” 

“You were sent away from your family?”

“As the others were."

“How old were you?”

“Thirteen.”

Enasal looked down at their hands, “That’s a hard time to be lonely.”

He chuckled, “I was homesick, but not lonely. Having the others helped - I was actually one of the oldest to be in basic training.”

Enasal smiled, “You look happy thinking about it.”

“I enjoyed it - mostly. But a young man can only stand and read the chant for so long before his eyes glaze over. I tried to do it all right.” He drummed his fingers on the table before changing subjects, “I’ve been curious. You and Solas - he calls you - ah, what was it?”

_ “Da’len.”  _ Enasal supplied.

“Yes, that. What does it mean?”

“It means…” Enasal thought, “Well it means ‘child’ but, not always.”

“Considering Solas calls you that, I’d assume that the word use is in the ‘not always’ category.”

“Well…” Enasal turned on the bench to face him. “Solas is older than me. That doesn’t necessarily mean he could call me  _ da’len _ because he’s not  _ that _ much older. An Elder can call an adult that. But Solas is my teacher, so calls me that.” She was putting on hand over the other, trying to explain, “It’s about… not power or age or…” She shook her head, “Knowledge. It’s about knowledge.”

“What do you mean?”

“A keeper is the heart of a clan. They have all the knowledge the clan has gathered all the magic. They are the keeper of knowledge. Because they are teaching everyone in the clan, they call everyone  _ da’len. _ ”

“On the other hand.” She said, “A mother would call her child that, but,” She pointed at him, “If I called  _ you  _ that, it would be an insult.”

“Because you’d be calling me a child?”

“Exactly!” She said.

He smirk-smiled. “Seems like Dalish is difficult.”

Enasal shrugged, “I did fine. My clan usually speaks Dalish. We only know Common to talk to the Dalish that don’t speak all Dalish.”

“I didn’t know there  _ were _ groups that spoke that much Dalish.”

Enasal had her head on the table, staring ahead, “We… Solas says we’re odd.”

He shifted in his seat, “Nobody ever said it was bad. Most people have something odd about them.”

Enasal didn’t respond.

“I know your clan was… unkind to you.”

Silence.

He leaned over, trying to catch her eye. “Enasal?” When she didn’t respond, he tapped the table by her elbow, “Enasal?”

She sat up and turned her head away from him. “I don’t want to talk about my clan anymore, please.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal feels the pangs of guilt.  
> Annason is insane.

Things were fine for most of the journey to Orlais. A few of Leliana’s people were scouting ahead, but they parted once the roads became visible and a town appeared on the horizon. It was there they met the coach, and Enasal, Cullen, and Annason piled in. Annason’s skirts took up an entire side of the coach, leaving Cullen and Enasal beside each other.

Annason’s chatter was nonstop. She hopped from one subject to the next, lamenting on how little time she had to prepare before switching to excitement over the challenge of getting Enasal ready for the salon.

Initially, Cullen assumed that that was why Enasal was so quiet when they stopped to make camp. Annason slept in the coach, so it was their only break from her constant monologue. 

But Enasal’s shoes stayed on. She didn’t dance by the fire or dash through the grass as Varric said she would. Before they left the dwarf and warned her a few things about Enasal.

“Make sure she doesn’t lose her shoes.” He had said, “They’re gonna come off at some point, and she’ll probably lose them.”

“She sometimes sings if she’s fighting something - never people, but I’ve heard her singing something in Dalish while sticking her knife in a demon.”

“She has a habit of climbing up things and jumping off things she has no business being near. She’ll be fine, but _ try _ to stop her.”

“Ah, and saying that, she won’t listen to you. She’s stubborn.”

Things Cullen never knew about her. 

Once again, he assumed she was tired of all the talking, or perhaps didn’t know him well enough to behave as Varric described. She would answer questions and occasionally ask how Cullen and Annason were doing, but nothing beyond the bare minimum. 

She typically sat by the fire, staring into the flames before rushing a “good night” slipping into her tent, Sometimes he didn’t even hear her.

When they neared the city, Annason had insisted they stop so they wouldn’t be wandering the city at night. It was then that Enasal finally spoke.

“I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I was just so tired, and everyone was fighting. Josephine and Leliana were so insistent, and  _ you  _ were so insistent, and I just said it. It made sense at the time.”

“It’s fine,” Cullen assured.

“I know… what’s the word?” She thought, “Nanny? I think that’s right.” She shook her head, “I know that you weren’t hired to nanny me-”

He pinched the bridge of his nose, “ _ Maker _ , Enasal, it’s not about you.” He shook his head, “I just hate these sorts of things. Nobles strutting around and showing off, all the grandstanding, and just… Orlais.”

Enasal looked up at him. He seemed so different without his armor - still tall, but less intimidating, less closed. “You don’t have to go. You can stay in the inn - you and Leliana and Josephine. You all work so hard. It would be a sort of night off for you.”

“No. It’s really the smartest thing. Just don’t tell Josephine or Leliana I said that.”

He stood, “And from what Varric told me, leaving you unsupervised will have you distracted and halfway across Thedas.”

She laughed - he wasn’t wrong.

“Enasal.” He said,  _ “Nothing _ I said the war room had anything to do with going with you. Just going.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Does that make sense?”

Enasal considered before shrugging, “I think so?”

“You might make this whole ordeal bearable.”

She stood up from her spot and nodded, “Thank you. Goodnight, Cullen.”

“Goodnight, Enasal.”

But as she lay on her bedroll, staring at the top of her tent, she knew.

She  _ didn’t _ understand.

  
  
  


Annason rushed them into the inn on the outskirts of Val Royal. She ordered baths and clean clothes, dropped some food for them to eat, and ordered them to be ready for more classes as soon as they were finished.

Enasal had never been in such a well-furnished room. She wasn’t sure what half of the furniture was called. When Annason had left, Enasal wasted no time.

“Commander, what’s that?”

“A couch.”

“That?”

“An armchair.” He turned his head to hide the smile.

“That?”

“A footstool.” He tried not to laugh.

He  _ wasn’t _ able to stop laughing when he turned around to find her standing on the footstool, confused and disappointed.

“I don’t understand what the point of this is.”

Annason was all business when she came back, hurrying them through their lunch and forcing them through simulations of their entrance

“Now, Commander, put your arm out like so.... Herald, you go around his arm - no, over - no, Herald, like _ this _ .” She clapped at her own success and flitted around the room, still chattering to herself.

“When all this is over,” Enasal muttered, “I’m taking a break. Just a few days.”

“Don’t worry.” Cullen assured, “We’ll go in, you’ll talk to Lady Vivienne, and we’ll leave.”

Annason heard that.

“No! You  _ cannot _ expect a woman to dress up and ‘go in, talk, and leave’!” She went up to Enasal and threw her arms around her. Enasal did not seem to appreciate the gesture. 

“We will spend so much time on this - but oh, she will be beautiful!” The woman clapped again, “I shall paint her lips, and I have the most beautiful hairpiece, and she looks so darling in her dress over her little corset.”

“Corset?” Cullen started.

“She’s trying to kill me,” Enasal muttered

“You’re putting her in a corset?” Cullen asked, “Look at her! If you squeeze her waist anymore, there'll be nothing left!”

“Which is why you cannot ‘go in, talk, and leave’!”

“What does that have to do with-”

“Don’t fight it, Commander.” Enasal said, “Let it happen.”

Annason spent a good fifteen minutes writing down things to do in the city, before pulling Enasal out of the room. After Annason had tied Enasal firmly into her corset, she tossed the dress over her head and started fussing with her hair.

“Flowers!” She said, “Flowers will go so beautifully… and because we do not have any options with your… hair. But look, I have a secret.” She showed Enasal one of the flower hairpieces. “See inside - it is perfume! You’ll smell like a flower.” She pinned it somewhere near the cowlick on the back of her head - maybe to make it look intentional?

“Is the fabric settled?” Annason said, “I must check on the Commander.”

Enasal glanced at the mirror, looking at the foreign garment. She was told it was somewhat Orleasian. The first layer, a simple linen - Enasal like that it didn’t have sleeves. The second layer, green with a plunging neckline and falling just an inch shooter from the (hem). She pulled the white layer higher up towards her collarbone. Free arms? Yes. Free feet? Yes. Showing off her breasts to the world?

No.

A  _ hard  _ no.

The noest no that’s never been noed.

Modesty protected, Enasal walked a few laps around the room - the last thing she wanted to do was trip over the trailing fabric and fall on her face.

Annason was chattering at Cullen when she finally came out - he was rubbing his temples in a vain attempt to block her out. 

“Isn’t she  _ perfect!” _ Annason squealed, “Look at you!” She turned to Cullen, “Look at her!”

Cullen stood, eyes flashed up and down, followed by, “Yes. Very nice, Enasal.”

Enasal opened her mouth to say the same, but Annason was on her again, spinning her this way and that, cooing and squealing. Cullen reached out and grabbed Enasal, “I will need you to let go of the Herald before we’re late. I hear in Orlais they can guillotine you for that.”

“They would  _ not!”  _ Annason insisted.

Enasal looked at him from the corner of her eye. “In and out?”

Cullen nodded, “In and out.”

“Commander! Herald!” 

Cullen looked ready to punch something.  _ “Yes _ , Lady Annason?”

“Where are you going?”

He pointed to the large building nearby. “The Chateau.”

Annason looked scandalized. “You do not enter a salon  _ on foot _ .”

It was Enasal’s turn to argue, “It’s right there!”

Their guide was having none of it. She made them practice getting Enasal in and out of the coach before they were both shut in and sent off. 

“Cullen. She  _ painted _ my lips.”

“I can tell.” 

“This is humiliating.” 

“It’s more common than you’d think.”

“I don’t like it.”

“I have a handkerchief,” Cullen said with a grin, “You could wipe it off.”

That made her smile.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal must deal with slurs and threats.  
> An impulsive escape from going to another Orleasian event will definitely cause problems later.  
> You know you can feel if someone is wearing a corset, right?

[ Baroque Noble Party  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qj0boS-gQTY)

Enasal was petrified.

She was shaking, and her gaze drilled somewhere ahead of them. 

Everything was so big. Bigger than anything she had ever seen.

And it was cold—a maw of stone and iron growing ever-larger to swallow her up.

"Enasal,  _ breathe." _

He was looking down at her from the corner of his eye, "You're not breathing.  _ Breathe." _

Enasal took a shuddering breath and nodded her head.

"Try to relax."

She nodded, remembering to lift her skirts to go up the stairs.

"I don't like it here." Enasal whispered, "It's cold and empty."

Cullen glanced around at the people around them, but said nothing.

"Announcing Enasal Lavellan-"

"I hate that name.” She whispered

"Herald of Andraste, accompanied by Commander Cullen Rutherford, leader of the Inquisition's forces."

Cullen felt her squeeze his arm.

Within seconds, they were called by a couple nearby.

"Don't stare." Cullen said, "I know, Orleasion clothing is stupid, but don't stare."

"I will never complain about this dress again."

"Yes, you will."

The man before them bowed, "It is a pleasure, my lady. So rarely do we have a chance to meet anyone new. It's  _ always  _ the same at these parties." 

Cullen watched Enasal - she was utterly unprepared. The masks, the elaborate clothing, the overall excess that was Orlais. But she was still gritting her teeth and going along with it. 

She had let go of his arm and gave a graceful bow to the man. "The pleasure is ours."

"You must be a guest of Madame de Fer." He continued. "Or are you here for Duke Bastion?"

Another woman continued the questioning before Enasal could open her mouth. "Everyone has been telling the most curious stories of you - I cannot imagine half of them are true."

Enasal glanced up at Cullen before answering. "What have you heard?"

"Some say you tore apart the veil apart with elven magic - with no magic in you! They say Andreste blessed you with special magic that lets you control demons with song."

"They say you can climb any wall." The man added, "And leap from cliffs to fall upon your enemies.”

Enasal tried not to shrug. Annason had told her not to shrug. She  _ felt _ herself move, but had no idea what sort of motion she had made. "That  _ is _ a bit of a stretch."

The woman stepped forward and took Enasal's, "But only for the best effect! The Inquisition is ripe for wild tales! And you have been the center of all the rumors and - oh!" She held Enasal's hands closer to her face. "What  _ precious  _ gloves you have! You must simply tell-"

The discussion was cut off by a harsh laugh.

[ Rule Of Rose Soundtrack: Track 7 (1080p) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzXIU689PaM)

"The Inquisition? What a load of pig shit."

Cullen pushed Enasal behind him.

"Washed up sisters and crazed seekers? No one can take them seriously!" He had reached the bottom and was making his way directly towards them - Enasal saw Cullen's sword arm twitch.

"Everyone knows it's just an excuse for a bunch of political outcasts to grab power."

Enasal pulled herself away from Cullen. "There's a hole in the sky and the world is in chaos. We're trying to put things right and establish a stable-"

The man threw his hands in the air, "Here comes our savior - a knife-ear savage the size of a-"

Cullen had pulled her back again, "Say anything else about her-"

The man pointed to Enasal, barely visible behind the commander.

"We see through your  _ shit."  _ He gestured around the room, "We  _ all _ see it." He looked at Cullen, "You think you can put an elf in a dress and parade her around - it is all too convenient that this all began in Feraldin - I wager you are one of those dog-lords."

Cullen said nothing. In all honesty, he could care less what was said about him.

The man's gaze returned to Enasal, "If you had a shred of honor, you'll step outside and answer for your crimes."

He reached for his sword and, before Enasal could react, she pushed to the side and was overcome by the smell of pine.

Cullen pulled her up, apologizing and keeping her close. The man who had challenged stood frozen solid, completely encased by ice. 

"My dear,  _ dear, _ Marquis." A woman was descending the stairs, clothed in a white dress and a dramatic headpiece. Enasal stopped shaking at the sight of her - this person was powerful, and seemed unhappy with their assailant.

"You come into my home and say such horrid things to my guests. You know such rudeness is intolerable - and that  _ language _ ."

Barely able to move inside his icy tomb, the man strained to speak, "Madame… Vivienne, I hu…."

The woman turned to Enasal in a smooth, sweeping motion. For a second, Enasal felt a stupid notion that she floated.

"My lady, you are the wounded party in this affair. What would you have me do with this…" She took the man's chin into her hand, "Foolish,  _ foolish _ little man?"

Enasal shook her head, "Just send him away."

The mage nodded and stood back, "By the grace of Andraste, this woman has saved your life." She snapped her fingers, and the man slumped forward, hacking and choking. "Off with you, now."

[ Piano Etude I (Rule of Rose) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIzR_GXbAnc)

The woman turned to look at them, giving a bow so subtle, Enasal wasn't sure it was there. "I'm delighted you could attend. I've so wanted to meet you." She glanced at Cullen, "Commander, may I borrow your Herald?"

Enasal looked up at him and he squeezed her shoulder, "It'll be alright." He assured me, "I'll be right here."

The woman carefully guided Enasal to a base window. "Sit down, my dear. The wisteria is blooming and the air is sweet." 

"Thank you." 

She swept down beside her, "Allow, met to introduce myself. I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchanchanter to the Imperial Court."

Enasal nodded, "My name is Enasal and -"

"I know." Vivienne said, "Everyone knows who you are."

Enasal was unsure how to feel about that, much less how to react, so she switched subjects, and focused on the wisteria just outside the window., “How did you do this? It’s still winter.”

“Magic my dear! A few spells to keep them warm, and they flourish. You’ll find such heating in many homes in Val Royeaux.”

“Do you mind if I bring any such knowledge with me? I would love to see flowers again.”

“But of course, but I would like to talk about your Inquisition.”

Enasal nodded.

Vivienne was all smiles, "I wanted to meet face to face. I am cautious who I associate with - you should do so as well." She shook her head, "With Divine Justinia dead and a hole in the sky, people are afraid." 

She stood and touched one of the vines curling into the window. "And yet, the faithful flock to your banner, pinning their hopes upon you to deliver them from chaos." She thrust her chin upward, easily showing the confidence that Enasal had tried so desperately to achieve.

"As the leader of the last loyal mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause." When Enasal hesitated, she continued. "I am well versed in the Orleasion Empire - I know all of the court personally. I'm sure you are in need of a mage - and I am quite a good one.”

Enasal saw a way out of this nightmare.

She stood and offered her hand. "Madame Vivienne, the Inquisition will count itself lucky to work with you."

Vivienne laughed, "You are  _ darling! _ " She shook her head, "Great things are beginning my dear, I can promise you that."

Enasal hoped she bowed. 

She hoped her walk towards Cullen wasn't panicked.

She hoped that she had taken his arm gracefully and kept a measured pace to the coach.

She hoped Cullen couldn't tell she was crying.

"I'm sorry, Enasal."

She shook her head, "You did everything you were supposed to do." Her fists were clenched at her knees.

"Next time-"

"You know," Enasal said in a trembling voice. "You hear it being tossed around. That's what people call you. You hear it so much, you think that it won't hurt when someone says it. Then someone says it. It scares you, it hurts you. Then you think, if I keep hearing it, it will stop hurting." She looked up at him with red-ringed eyes. "If someone calls you a knife-ear savage, it doesn't stop hurting"

"Enasal, don't listen to those people."

She shook her head.

Cullen leaned forward and - careful not to offend, careful to startle - and tilted her chin to look up at him. "I promise, I will do everything I can to make sure nothing like this happens to you again. Not on your own."

"I wasn't on my own."

"No, but we need to do more. Guest screenings, appointment times, forwards guards. This was sloppy, and I'm sorry we let it happen. It won't again."

He leaned back for a few seconds before glancing out the window.

"What the -  _ hey!" _ He knocked and and opened the door and leaned out, "Where are we going? You were supposed to take us back to the inn!" Enasal couldn't hear the answer, but when Cullen sat back down, it was obviously not the answer he wanted.

"Apparently, we have an appointment with another Orlesian noble for dinner."

Enasal ran her fingers through her hair, knocking a few hairpieces loose.

She didn't argue.

Cullen leaned forward again. "Do you want to leave?"

She looked up at him, "What?"

"Do you want to leave?"

Enasal nodded, "I want to leave."

"Okay, let's go."

Enasal gestured around the coach, "Where?"

He pointed to the door, "We jump out."

"We're moving!" She said, clearly upset.

Cullen laughed, "The horse is barely walking!"

"I can't jump out of a moving… whatever the word for this thing is!"

"You jump off cliffs, and you’re afraid to jump out of a coach?"

"I’m in a dress!"

“Ah, yes. That." He looked out the window, "Stand by the door, I'll open it, grab you and jump."

"You'll do that?"

"Yes!" He said, "Now, let's go while we're still on public streets."

He opened the door, grabbed her around her waist, and stepped off the coach.

"Run!" And they took off a shot, pursued by Annason's horrified squeals. When they finally were away from her shouts and with no visible pursuit, Enasal and Cullen leaned against an ally wall and mixture of panting and laughing.

"Running… is harder," Enasal laughed, "In the city."

Cullen covering his face, “Enasal, you… you’re, uh…” He shook his head. "You took the corset off, didn’t you?" 

Enasal looked at him - he was laughing.

"How did you do that? Annason had it on you and -"

"She left the room." Enasal laughed, "I took it off and shoved it under my bed."

He laughed.

When the laughter died down, Enasal looked up at Cullen, "What next?"

He shrugged, "If I tell you something, you must promise not to tell Leliana or Josephine."

"You got me out of that coach." Enasal said, "You have my word."

Cullen laughed, "Honestly? I didn’t plan anything past getting out of that coach.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evening of escape, songs, and learning about traumatic events.

[ Blurred Distance ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IEceLWHFYDA)

"Orlais is so big." Enasal said as they walked, craning her neck up to look at the buildings above.

"Keep walking like that, and you're going to fall." 

"You really have no plan?"

"None."

Enasal fidgeted with one of her hairpins. "What should we do?"

"Dinner without an Orlesian - I take it you're starving. Although that might be impossible in Orlais." He looked around at the crowded, "I'll take dinner without an Orlesian noble."

"Do you know anything about Val Royaleaux?"

He shook his head, "I'll try to find somewhere." He looked around before going up to a couple and saying something Enasal couldn't understand. It was clear that he wasn't very good at whatever he was speaking, but the couple said something back - slowly and pointing in directions. Cullen nodded and - Enasal assumed - gave his thanks.

"You speak Orlesian?" Enasal asked.

"Barely. But if you want someone to help you anywhere in Orlais, learning a bit will make them more willing to help." He frowned, "Too many letters that don't make sense."

They had a simple meal in a simple tavern before walking the streets of Orlais, picking roads at random until they made their way up to the upper gardens.

"I need to sit." Enasal said, letting herself fall onto the nearest bench. " _ Creators, _ this dress."

Cullen laughed and leaned against a wall. "The Dalish don't have dresses?"

"No."

"Shame." He said with a shrug. 

"Hardly."

It was quiet in the gardens, except for a few people milling around. 

"Enasal?" Cullen asked.

"Yes?"

"At the party - I understand where he got the idea that you jump off cliffs and climb things but," He raised an eyebrow, "'Controlling demons with the song'? Where did that come from?"

She laughed, "I don't know. I probably get caught singing a lot - my clan has many songs, and it rubs off. I know I do it when I'm nervous, mostly humming. I'm sure that has something to do with it."

"Well, we're here until we decide to go back to the inn." He lowered himself to sit beside her, "Sing me one."

"Let me explain something about myself." She grinned and turned to him, "I collect songs. I find them, learn them, and sing them. Varric has taught me a lot of songs from the Free Marches, so he's heard some of mine in return." She tilted her head to the side, "I'll need an exchange-"

"I-"

"And  _ no _ Chantry songs!" She laughed, "I hear those enough at Haven."

"What makes you think I know any songs?"

"Everyone knows songs." She shrugged, "A song for a song, Commander."

Cullen leaned forward. "I'll make you a deal. You sing a song. If I like it, I  _ might _ be able to think of a few Ferelden songs."

"That's not fair!" Enasal laughed.

"That's the gamble, isn't it?"

She rolled her eyes, "Fine, have it your way." Enasal looked down at her knees, thinking. "Would you like to hear something my grandmother used to sing?"

"Those are always the best songs, aren't they?"

She fussed with the fabric of her dress, taking a breath and beginning slowly.

_ "Elgara vallas, da'len, melava seminar," _ Her voice was high and lilting. Pretty. Nothing that would make her a bard, but pretty enough. She closed her eyes, moving her hands in the conducting motion Cullen had seen her do before - lost in her own world as she sang soft and slow.”

_ "Ara ma'athlan vhenas, Ara ma'athlan vhenas…"  _

She was looking at her knees again, "There it is"

"That was nice. What is it?"

"A lullaby." Enasal said, "Before she died, grandmother would come sing it to me - even when I was too old for lullabies."

"Your grandmother sounds very kind."

Enasal nodded. "There are other songs." She said, "I've learned during _Arlath-"_ She shook her head, "Never mind the Dalish word. A meeting between the clans."

"I didn't know you met."

She nodded, "To share news and knowledge. Every ten years, we get together." She laughed, "Last time it happened, my grandmother was trying to shoo me around to find a possible husband."

Cullen laughed, "I somehow see you fighting against that."

"Didn't really fight it, just didn't do it." She laughed, "I was fifteen. I doubt you were thinking about a wife when you were fifteen."

He smiled, "I was too busy with templar training." 

Enasal looked up, "My grandmother wanted me to find someone to take me out of the clan. She wanted my sister to do the same. She wanted us both out." She shrugged, "She said that when she died, she wanted to die knowing we were safe elsewhere." 

Cullen leaned forward, elbows on knees, and watched Enasal as she spoke. She has started fussing with one of the curlier bits of her hair, but gave up after it kept springing back. She glanced at him, gray eyes, just as the bards said, but not just gray...flashes of blue here in there. She turned away from his gaze and stared off into the distance.

She smelled of lilies and clover.

"Enasal?"

She looked at him.

"Can you tell me what happened with you and your clan?" He shook his head, “You talk about your grandmother and your sister, but you make it obvious that so that you dislike the rest of your clan. I can't decide how I should feel about them, and my decision has a lot to do with what happened to you."

Enasal looked down at her shoes. Annason had gone on about how bowed slippers were very fashionable. She stared at the little black bows for a few moments before looking back at him, "I don't want you to tell anyone. I haven't even told Varric."

Cullen nodded.

"I…" She was suddenly very interested in her newly-manicured nails, "I was born early. Something went wrong and my mother died. After that, my father couldn't live without her." She stood and looked at the trees planted nearby. "A lot of bad things happened, one right after another. A fever came through our clan, and a lot of people died. You have to understand, our numbers are dwindling and the loss of one member of a clan is devastating."

She crossed her arms over her chest, "It was decided that I was cursed. I was to walk in the back of the clan, never ahead of anyone else." She looked at him, "I didn't know my name was Enasal until I was seven. When everyone spoke to me, it was  _ Da’Fen'Harel -  _ the child of the Dread Wolf."

"The Dread Wolf?"

Enasal had returned to staring at her shoes, "He's a god. The lone hunter and bringer of nightmares. Some say he takes you to the afterlife, some say he drags the dead into the fade and eats their corpses. But no matter the specifications - my clan speaks of him as death."

Her eyes were fixed on him, "For years, I thought  _ Da’Fen'Harel  _ was my name. The Child of Death."

She fell silent. 

Cullen was unsure what to say.

When he finally did speak up, he had meant to say something powerful, comforting, meaningful.

But instead of any of that, what came out was: "I don't think I like your clan very much."

Enasal nodded, "I don't either."

He looked down at her, "That's why you hate being called ‘The Herald’ so much, isn't it?"

She nodded, "And Lavellan." 

She switched subjects, trying to pretend everything was fine. "My vallaslin is for Mythal. Mother-god and protector. When I turned eighteen, my grandmother ignored the rest of my clan and gave it to me. My sister held my head and stroked my hair. My grandmother sang as she etched my skin." She touched it, "When I look at it, I don't think of my clan or Fen'Harel, or even Mythal so much." She smiled, "I think of my grandmother and my sister."

"Why didn't you leave?" He asked, "I know you can survive on your own - why did you stay?"

Enasal shrugged, "I was going to after my grandmother died but… my sister was still there. She offered to run away with me, but…" Her shoulders slumped, "I don't know why I didn't. I think I was scared."

"You never have to go back again.” 

She nodded.

"Turn around."

She glanced at him before returning her gaze to her own hands.

"Enasal, how am I going to teach you any Fereldin songs if you don't look at me?"

Her smile was one that showed she was ready to cry, but she turned and nodded.

"It's called 'Andraste's Mabari.' Have you ever seen one?"

Enasal perked up, "Those really big ones? With the cute tails and dopey face?”

"'Cute,' wouldn't really be my word, but if you think they are."

Enasal caught onto the chorus quickly, and by the second time around was singing along with him. By the third time, they were aggressively singing at the other people in the gardens. They probably would have continued if the sun hadn't started to set.

Enasal was gasping with laughter as the last patrons abandoned the park, “I think if I were human, I would have been born Fereldan.”

Cullen laughed, “Good to know.”

"Speaking of places, do you know where we are?" Enasal asked.

"No idea." 

"Annason is going to be mad."

"Annason?" Cullen laughed, "Annason is nothing. Now when - and I mean  _ when _ \- Leliana finds out about missing our dinner meeting? That's when we'll be in trouble." He grinned, "Don't worry, it's my fault. I'm an enabler to your whims. I'm sure I should have known better."

Enasal laughed.

Cullen got up, "Well, we know where west is. Once the stars are out, I should be able to get us back to the inn. He offered a hand, "Enasal?"

She nodded and stood. "Thank you."

"And I promise." He said, "I will never, ever call you 'Herald' again."

Her face was suddenly serious, "You no idea how much that means to me."

"And it's Cullen now. Not Commander."

"Even in the war room?"

"Even in the war room."

Enasal laughed, performing the dramatic bow she had been forced to learn, "As you wish." 

"That's enough heavy talk, don't you think? Back to the inn, our real clothes, Annason, and your corset."

Enasal couldn't remember ever laughing so hard.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet Shiral - Enasal's sister and bottle of sunshine and rainbows.

[ Od Nua A (Justin Bell) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMLZT_oLriE)

"By the Dread Wolf -  _ stop following me!" _

Shiral turned to face the man standing below her. "Go home!"

The man ignored her, "I'm coming to help Enasal."

"No, you're not." Shiral shook her head, "You're coming because you're hoping to bond with my little sister." She adjusted her pack, "The last thing Enasal needs - on top of everything else - is to have to tell some little boy to go away."

"Enasal and I are the same age!"

Shiral rolled her eyes, "Go back to your clan. I visited for supplies, and the rest of your people were content to help and let me go. Then there's you." She made a shooing motion with her head, "Go home,  _ da'len. _ "

A hand grabbed her arm. "I'm coming with you. I know Enasal, I want to help."

"You haven't seen her for ten years!" Shiral argued, "You don't know anything about her." 

"If you would just-"

Shiral held her hand up. "Retter. Enasal is being held by shems. A  _ lot _ of shems. Her letters say they are treating her kindly, they say she is of high esteem - and that might all be true. But she is still being  _ held _ ," She stood at her full height to get face to face with the other elf, "By a literal army of shems!"

When Retter didn't respond, Shiral rolled her neck and continued up the mountain.

"So you're going by yourself?"

Shiral stopped and turned around, "They'll let me in.”

“And if they don’t?”

“I'll turn around, find some high ground, and put arrows through shems until Enasal notices and tells them to let me in."

Retter scoffed, "You think that will work?"

Shiral nodded, "I do." 

"You said your clan was in the Free Marches." He pointed in the vague direction, "Why are you out here?"

"I couldn't find a boat!" She snapped, "The only one that was willing gave me a shiver - I think it was a slave ship." She hefted her pack again, "So I'm walking around."

Shiral clutched her pack, "Keeper told Enasal that if she went to spy on the Conclave, that she would unbind her name and let her back into the clan. Stupid liars - the looks on their faces when everyone heard she survived."

"They  _ knew _ it would happen?"

"What is wrong with you?" Shiral asked, "They just assumed that she would die on the way. Enasal isn’t exactly known for keeping her head on straight - spends too much time in the clouds.”

"I'm only trying to help!" 

Shiral snapped her head towards Retter, "We don't need you, or any other elves, or any other clans. I tried to get her to run, but she wouldn't listen. I should have just grabbed her and ran!" She paused, "I think she always hoped people would just forget and let her in again."

Retter nodded. "I understand, Shiral."

Despite that, he continued to walk beside her. 

"What are you doing?" Shiral asked.

"I'm going to help Enasal."

_ "Go home!" _

Retter grinned, "You can't  _ make _ me turn around, and I can just follow you."

Shiral glared at him, "Why are you so interested in her? You. Don't. Know. Her."

"She seemed smart. Had a nice voice." He shrugged, "Just kind of liked her."

"You're stupid." Shiral spat, "You know that? You don't trek across Thedas for someone like that -  _ how stupid are you?"  _ She groaned, "That would have seemed very romantic and smart when I was around fifteen, you know,  _ the same age you were when you last saw my sister?" _

That gave Retter pause.

"I'll make you deal." Shiral said, "When I find Enasal, I'll let her know, I'll say 'Enasal, Retter wanted to say hello, and asks if you would bond with him’."

Retter stopped. He glared at Shiral as she continued on. He, in turn, went back in the direction of his clan.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A happy return with varying levels of hug acceptance, and a worrying question about nicknames.

[ My Home, Sweet Home / Final Fantasy Ⅴ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53Ql1FOtE1o)

  
  


"I feel as though you can get off by yourself." Cullen said as he lifted Enasal off her horse, "But I'd hate for you to fall and embarrass yourself."

_ "Ma serannas _ !" She chirped.

"That means 'thank you,' right?"

A nearby soldier eased into view, "Commander, you're needed in the war room."

Cullen rolled his eyes, "That didn't take long." 

The same soldier bowed to Enasal, "Herald, there's food in the tavern. We'll prepare you a hot bath when you're done."

"You get a bath, and I get a lecture," Cullen chuckled before nodding to Enasal and heading toward the Chantry.

"Seastorm!"

Enasal threw her arms in the air, "Varric!" 

She rushed off to greet him, throwing her arms around him and squeezing hard. "I missed you so much!"

He laughed, "It's good to have you back. Things have been quiet without you - how was Orlais?"

"Ugh!" Enasal threw her head back, "They put me in a dress - and wouldn't let me have  _ any _ weapons. I was poked and prodded, and they messed with my hair." 

"Poor Seastorm." He laughed, "I feel more sorry about having to spend that time with Curly. How was it dealing with Ser Frowns-a-lot?"

"It was actually very nice." Enasal said, "He really helped me during the meeting with Madame Vivienne - and he got me out of going to some dinner with a noble."

"How'd he manage that?"

"We jumped out of the coach." 

Varric burst out laughing, "You're shitting me! He  _ let _ you do that?"

"It was  _ his _ idea." She noticed Solas milling near the apothecary and gave a happy shout before running over. Just as she had done with Varric, she threw her arms around her teacher. It was clear Solas didn't appreciate what was happening, but he allowed it.

"It is good to see you again,  _ da'len."  _ He said, easing away from her, "I'm glad to see you're safe."

Enasal nodded, "Can we start lessons again tomorrow? You said you would try to find a way for us to walk the fade together."

That made him smile. "Of course, but tonight you need to rest."

It was nice to be back in the familiar tavern. Enasal suddenly realized how attached she was to Haven and its people. She was already planning her morning route to greet all her friends when she heard a familiar voice."

"Good to see you, your Worship." 

"Krem!" She jumped up and grabbed his hands, "I'm glad you made it! Are the rest of the Chargers here?"

"Chief's down by the tents - lazy thing wanted me to grab us dinner. Says he'd like to meet with you tomorrow, I think he just wants to ask some questions."

Enasal nodded, "I'll be sure to do that."

"I'll let him know." He nodded, "your Worship-"

"Enasal." She corrected him.

He grinned and repeated the nod. "Enasal."

She waved.

Later that evening, Enasal was dipping into her much-anticipated bath. She had never even thought of the idea of a hot bath until she arrived in Haven. Baths were taken in rivers or lakes, not in giant barrels. But there she was, in a giant barrel (Varric called it a tub), soaking in water so hot it steamed. She sighed, letting herself sink up to her nose.

Someone knocked.

Enasal groaned and called out, "Yes? I'm in the bath!"

"Seastorm." It was Varric. He sounded odd.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

"Yeah, yeah, just… look I'll close my eyes, can I come in?"

Enasal pulled herself partway out to look over the tub. "You can't see through the barrel, come in."

He came in, rubbing his neck and turning his back on her. He pulled a chair and sat down, looking at the wall on the other side of the room. "Hey Sea- listen." He leaned forward, "I was just talking with Curly, and he said… well, he didn't want to explain himself and trust me, I tried to make him." He sighed and tapped his boots, "He told me that I should check with you on the whole 'Seastorm' thing. Said he learned you didn't like being called 'The Herald' and that you had a good reason for it. He said I should make sure it's okay to call you Seastorm."

Enasal was relieved. She thought something had been wrong. She sank back into the bath. "That was sweet of him. But no, I like Seastorm."

Varric chuckled, "That's good to hear." He got up and shoved the chair away from the door, his back still to her. "You're a good kid. I'd hate to make your life harder."

"You don't." She said, "If you did, there would be no hugs."

He laughed, "You're so weird. Night, Seastorm."

"Goodnight, Varric." She answered.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A debriefing, a conversation with Bull and Solas, and a very uncomfortable conversation about Cullen.

[ OUTDOOR CAMP SOUNDS ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TjuJf2_3Rg) \+  [ Rule of Rose - Backbiting ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd4zFORIWmM)

When Enasal reported to the war room for duty, the tension in the room was tangible. She glanced at Cullen a second before greeting the group, "Leliana, Josephine, Cassandra, Cullen - good morning."

A semi-unison, "Good morning," was returned.

Josephine started, "We will be sending you to the Hinterlands again. While the crossroads are safe, there are some worrying whispers coming from Redcliff."

"We think it has something to do with the mages." Cullen said.

Leliana was next, "The Inquisition has completely lost touch with the templars while you and the Commander were in Orlais. My spies have lost them as well."

Enasal squinted at Leliana, "How do  _ your _ spies lose someone?"

Cullen nodded, "Concerning, to say the least."

Josephine pulled two items to the front of her clipboard, "We also have two things for your consideration. Firstly, we have gotten some information that a Grey Warden has been seen in the Hinterlands. If you see him on your way to Redcliff, talk to him to see if he knows anything about Grey Wardens."

Leliana's brow was creased, "They've been disappearing. The Hero of Fereldin among them."

"My clan met another who crossed paths a few years ago." Enasal said, "They said she helped rid them of a curse."

Leliana's smile was forced, "We might have spent time with the same people, Enasal." Her smile fell, "I haven't heard from her, and my letters go unanswered."

"You knew her?"

"Alice and I are very good friends." She said, "Which is why I noticed so quickly - letters simply stopped coming. King Alistar wrote to me to see if I knew anything. He told me that Alice left to investigate the Gray Wardens as well, but letters to him stopped as well… they have their own birds for letters, and those two write almost daily. You can see why I’m worried.”

"We've investigated and sent letters," Josephine shook her head, "But nothing."

Enasal nodded, "When do we head out?"

"Tomorrow, if possible."

Enasal held in a sigh. She was still tired from the entire Orlais ordeal and had hoped for much more rest before heading out again. She put on a brave face and nodded.

Cassandra stepped forward, "There is an old fortification near Redcliff inhabited by some refugees. People are hearing strange sounds at all hours. We think there might be a rift inside."

"That'll be me." Enasal said with a shrug, "I'll make sure we check it out."

Cullen was looking at Leliana when he spoke, "I'm sorry we can't give you much of a break, Enasal - Maker knows you deserve it."

Leliana and Josephine exchanged looks, but it was Josephine who spoke.

"Yes. Herald - Enasal." She signed and looked at her, "The Commander told us what happened in Val Royeaux. We were rushing to make connections and forge alliances, but we forgot how new you are to life outside your clan."

"And how awful people could be." Leliana added.

Josephine nodded, "I apologize. We'll be more proactive in our preparations in the future."

"Agreed." Said Leliana.

Enasal found herself embarrassed by the apology. She gave a nervous laugh and bounced on her toes, arms behind her back, "Well,  _ ir -"  _ She said something in Dalish before shaking her head and continuing, "I'm sorry - wait, that's not right. I'm… not sorry?" 

She snapped her fingers, "Nothing!" She stopped and tried again, "I mean, it's nothing." She laughed, "Throw me at demons any day, please just don't send me back to Orlais."

"We'll do our best." Cullen assured with a nod.

Josephine cut him a look, "But our Commander understands that you may have to travel there in the future."

Leliana seemed ready to end the meeting, "Cassandra, Enasal, prepare your people to leave tomorrow. If you need anything, find me at my tent."

"I'll be in my office." Josephine said, "Try to come by - there are some letters I wanted to read to you. I think you'll like them."

"You know where I'll be." Cullen said, "Maker knows my men have gone soft since I've been gone - the morning drill was awful."

Enasal grinned and saluted.

[ OUTDOOR CAMP SOUNDS ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TjuJf2_3Rg)

She went to find Varric and Solas, and was surprised to see them together. They never really interacted except when Enasal was around. The whole thing seemed off and made her a little nervous. Enasal jogged up to them, throwing her arms up in mock excitement. 

"Who wants to go back to the Hinterlands?"

Solas nodded, "Good, we can look for more shards while we're there."

Varric was less than enthused, "But it's so - outside."

Enasal shrugged, "An order from the bosses."

"Technically,  _ da'len _ ," Solas said, "You are the one with the mark. You are what they call the Herald of Andraste. I think that makes you of a higher rank than them."

Enasal shook her head, "I have no idea what I'm doing. I'd rather just do what they tell me." She sighed, "We leave out tomorrow."

Varric pulled his coat a bit tighter, “I’ll go pack - actually.” He looked at Enasal, "What are you doing right now?"

Enasal pointed towards the training grounds, "I was going to go talk to The Iron Bull. Krem said he wanted to sit and talk some more."

"Mind if I walk with you ? Wanted to talk to you."

She laughed, "Another talk?"

"Yeah, Seastorm. Another talk."

They bid Solas farewell and started down the path towards the training grounds. "Look, I want you to be careful around Curly, alright? The guy's got issues - and I mean a  _ lot _ of issues. Like, his issues make your issues look like minor inconveniences." 

Enasal looked at him from the side of her eye, "In Orlais, he was kind of a grump about some things,” She smiled, “But to me, he was always kind. Almost..." She muttered in Dalish, snapping as she searched for the word to use.

Varric frowned. "Just keep him at arm's length until you know more about him. I know people can change, but that doesn't mean they do. He wasn't always the good Commander."

Enasal shrugged it off - she figured she'd dealt with much worse.

"Take this  _ seriously _ , Seastorm." Varric said, grabbing her arm, "I'm not telling you to not talk to him, just be careful. I think he’s a lot better, but when it comes to you, I’d rather you be cautious. Do it for me."

"Why all of a sudden?"

"Seastorm, when I first met him in Kirkwall, he was a piece of shit."

Enasal's eyes widened. There was no hint of Varric's usual humor or exaggeration.

"I'll keep it in mind." She relented.

"Good. I don't want you getting mixed up in something you'll regret."

He parted ways at that, quickly so as to get away from the conversation.

Enasal trotted towards the practice field, glancing over her shoulder at Varric's shrinking form. It all seemed out of place for him to be so deadly serious. She promised herself to talk to him about it later and searched around the tents for the Chargers.

"Enasal!" 

She turned and waved at Krem.

"We have a fire over here - come get warm."

She was more than happy to oblige. 

The Iron Bull lounged in a chair, feet stretched out to be near the fire. Krem grabbed a chair to sit down on his left.

"Have fun in Orlais, boss?"

Enasal ran her fingers through her hair, remembering all the hairpins. "That depends on whether you think you'd enjoy getting shoved into a dress and paraded around."

Laughter boomed from the Bull, “I knew I liked you. You’re a good kid." 

“Same age as me, Chief.” Krem said, “Already told you.”

Bull waved him away, and Krem rolled his eyes while trying not to smile.

"I'd much rather be here." Enasal pointed across the frozen lake, "Or out there being chased by demons."

"I met your Commander this morning." Bull said, "You should have seen his boys jump when he shouted."

Enasal grinned, "I've noticed that. I think they fear and respect him in equal measure."

"As it should be."

"Iron Bull." Enasal said, "We're going to the Hinterlands tomorrow to investigate some rifts and other problems around Redcliffe. Would you and Krem accompany us?"

Bull nodded, "Me, yeah. Krem's gotta stay here and keep the Chargers under control."

Krem nodded, "Rowdy bunch, they just need something to do. I'll talk to the Commander and see if anything needs doing."

"Josephine and Leliana as well." Enasal said, "They might have something."

"Good." Bull said, "Nothing worse than a bored mercenary." He sighed and stretched, “I won’t hold you long, we’ll have plenty of time to get to know each in the coming mission, right?”

She nodded.

“I’ll go brief the Chargers, remind them who’s number two.” He punched Krem in the arm.

“Not as hard as usual. Feeling tired, Chief?”

Enasal watched the back-and-forth for a while before deciding to track down Solas again. She found him by the lake, looking across it and into the trees beyond.

[ Balamb Garden ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAvvc53FdU8)

_ "Aneth ara, Dirthalen!"  _ She said, going to stand beside him.

_ "Aneth ara, Da'len."  _ He answered, "Have you grown bored?"

Enasal shook her head, "No, I just haven't talked to you much since I came back."

"I'm glad you came." He nodded across the river. "Tell me about Orlais."

"The meeting with Madame Vivienne was a disaster." She said, "It started out so well, we were talking to this weird couple, and this guy comes down the stairs slinging all kinds of mud." She looked down, "And he called me a knife-ear."

Enasal shook her head,  _ "Dirthalen… _ what do you say when a shemlem says it to you?" Her eyes flickered between Solas and her own toes.

Solas tried not to look as uncomfortable as he felt. The way Enasal was looking at him was unfamiliar. It wasn't a question of knowledge - it was a plea. A plea to fix something he couldn't fix.

"I don't say anything." He said, "I ignore them. They can't begin to understand us."

"Do you think it'll ever stop?"

Solas didn't answer immediately. He lay a hand on Enasal's head. "I do. Someday."

She considered for a few moments before smiling. "It was kind of nice, though. Cullen - the Commander - he went to my defense." She snapped her fingers, "Just like that. He didn't stop to think, 'did he really say that?' he just…" She laughed, "Made himself very clear."

"Really?" Solas asked, "That's good to know. It does me well to know you're in safe hands when you are away."

"Varric wasn't too happy about it."

"Ah, yes, Varric. He let me know how he felt in no uncertain terms" He chuckled, "I'm sure he would want me to say something scathing about our young Commander."

"Are you going to?"

"Enasal, I care little for him either way. I neither like nor dislike them, he is just a man who lives in Haven as you and I do."

A shiver overcame Enasal, and she put her hands over the tips of her ears.

“Cold,  _ da’len?” _

"I need earmuffs.” Enasal said, loosening her scarf so she could wrap it around her head, “Humans make awful earmuffs."

"Perhaps you could ask one of your advisors. I’m sure someone in Haven could make them"

"I might."

And with neither coat nor scarf, Solas led his student back towards Haven.

"Let's get you warmed up."

  
  



	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to the Hinterlands!  
> Enasal gets a moment of tall-ness, struggles to read, and sees a beard unlike any beard she's ever seen.

[ Celebration ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgx9TO6WKNY)

Enasal wondered if there would always be so much pomp and circumstance when they left Haven. It seemed that everyone had come out to see them off, including her advisors. They seemed to be bickering about something, though the occasional smile here and there made Enasal guess it wasn't as serious as other disagreements she had seen. Leliana returned to the Chantry, Cullen to his soldiers, while Josephine remained near the entrance.

Enasal turned her attention back to the massive horse before her. Bull had called it an "asaarash," and she had absolutely fallen in love with the creature. She scratched its face, speaking Dalish in a high and lilting voice.

Solas leaned toward Varric, "She is telling it how beautiful it is and how much she loves it."

Varric laughed, "She's so weird."

Bull plucked her away from his horse and sat her atop her own. "Don't go spoiling him - he's a warhorse, not a pet."

"But he's so beautiful and well behaved. He deserves a scratch."

Bull shook his head - a smile included - before turning to Krem. "Keep them busy."

"Yes, Chief - we already have jobs lined up. Should be fine."

Enasal was still looking at the asaarash, saying something in Dalish.

Varric looked at Solas.

"She said, 'He'll turn his back eventually, then I will kiss your face.'"

Another laugh.

Leliana had returned and joined Josephine near the entrance. They were laughing about something. Cullen was glancing at them between giving orders to his men. He mouthed something to them, and the women both shook their heads, laughing the whole time. Seeming to lose the silent argument, Cullen made his way to the group.

"Enasal," He began, "Leliana sent some of her crows to Redcliffe - we want you to have someone write when you arrive, so we know you're safe."

Enasal nodded, "I will."

"Good." He smiled and leaned in, "Try to keep the cliff-jumping to a minimum. And remember, armor doesn't make you invincible."

"I'll keep that in mind." She said.

"Good." He turned away to his men, still in formation. "Attention!" Backs straightened and heads snapped forward. 

He looked back at Enasal a final time. "Take care."

"You too - don't forget to sleep and eat."

He smiled and refocused on the soldiers. 

[ Peaceful/Travel Music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8qMyBWZNw0)

The first few days went smoothly, with little issues except for the occasional bickering that comes with long trips of any sort. Enasal's songs and general antics helped to keep morale up for the most part, but even she struggled when the weather turned and the temperature plummeted.

Enasal finally turned her horse to shout over the wind, "We'll make camp early. Let's get to those trees and set up!"

Bull volunteered for the first watch while the others piled into their tents. Cassandra was cleaning her armor when she noticed Enasal looking at something between her arms, obviously attempting to hide what she was looking at. It had only been a few minutes when Enasal sat back up, holding her head.

"Are you alright, Enasal?". Cassandra asked.

"I'm just so tired of reading. I don't see how you do it."

"It will become easier with practice," Cassandra assured.

"But it's  _ not."  _ Enasal argued, showing her the book. It was a book obviously intended for a child. "Josephine bought me some to practice, but I can't get through them. I try to keep track of everything, but it makes my head hurt and I feel like I'm going to throw up." She tossed the book down, "I just want to be able to read a letter for myself. It's humiliating to have to stand there and have Josephine read letters to me. It makes me feel stupid."

Cassandra continued cleaning her armor, "I have met a great many people who cannot read, but are intelligent. You would be surprised how many people in Thedas never learn to read." She put her armor down, "Let me see if I could help you." 

Enasal reluctantly pulled the book out and sat next to Cassandra. "The Blue Bird" was written on the cover. She opened to the first page and glanced at Cassandra.

"I promise, you will hear no judgment from me." 

Enasal nodded, "Th… the." She blinked a few times, and Cassandra saw her eyes roaming along the page. Enasal shook her head, "The bird...wa.." More blinking and she gave the book a frustrated shake before trying again, "The bird wa… was…" She put the book down, "It hurts my eyes."

"Have you considered needing glasses?" Cassandra asked.

"I don't know what those are."

"Some people wear them to help them see letters more clearly. Your eyes might be fine for other things, but strong eyes are needed for reading."

Enasal picked the book up again and shoved it in her pack. "This is so stupid." 

"When we return to Haven, we will see if something can be done. Then you can try again." Cassandra went back to cleaning her armor, "There's no sense in straining yourself if you can't see the letters."

Enasal nodded, "Just… don't tell anyone about the book. I don't want anyone to know I can't read a book for children."

"Why would I tell anyone?" Cassandra asked.

"I don't know."

"Rest assured, I will not."

The Hinterlands was just as cold the next day, and Enasal felt no shame in fully wrapping her head and ears with a scarf. Varric teased her a bit, but she pulled her foot out of the stirrup long enough to give him a light kick.

Enasal glanced at Bull, "How are you not cold?"

Bull laughed, "Thick skin, keeps the cold out. If you had any meat on you, you wouldn't be so cold."

She shivered, "I want summer."

Varric tapped her and pointed, "This'll cheer you up, there's a nug over there." 

Enasal shook her head and patted her horse, "Cloudy is warm. I'm too cold to get off and talk to a nug."

Solas half-smiled. "Enasal doesn't wish to speak to an animal? It truly is the end of the world."

She muttered something in Dalish - the tone didn't sound especially happy.

Knowing they should be close, the group kept a sharp eye out for anything that would point them to a possible destination. There weren't any substantial trees yet, so Enasal was stuck on the ground. As the tallest of them, Bull was doing most of the scouting. He was craning his neck to see over a far ridge when he turned to look at Enasal with a grin.

"Boss. Come here."

Enasal had no reservations, but Solas did. He lightly held her by the shoulder and asked, "Why do you need her?"

"I'm just gonna lift her over my head - that'll put her eyeline at eleven or twelve feet." He plucked her from Solas and helped her plant her feet on his shoulders. 

"You good boss?" 

Enasal looked down. "I think I could go higher. Do you think you could hold me all the way up - like this?" She raised an arm entirely above her head, stretched as far as it could go.

"You wanna stand on my hand?"

Cassandra clearing objected, "Enasal, this is a waste of time  _ and _ unsafe. Allow Bull to do the scouting."

Enasal had already balanced her feet onto Bull's palm

"Ready, boss?" 

"Ready."

Enasal shifted her balance this way and that as she was lifted up, coming to a stop at high above the rest of the group. Both Enasal and Bull were cackling with glee.

"Alright,  _ da'len _ , that's enough. What do you see?"

She pointed in one direction, "A bunch of cabins." Another, "I think that's the crossroads." She continued along her line of sight, "I think that's Master Dennet's farm… and a big gate - maybe Redcliffe?"

"Good." Solas said, "Now get down."

Bull dropped her and took a step back so he could snatch her out of the air. He held her up so they were face to face. "That was the best way we could have done that." 

Enasal was grinning from ear to ear, "For now on, this is how we scout."

_ "No." _ Solas said.

"She's  _ fine _ , Chuckles." Varric insisted, "She jumps off higher cliffs than that."

"But you  _ must _ be careful!" Cassandra said, "We must try to keep her out of harm's way."

Bull sat Enasal on one of his shoulders, "She's right. Would be a pretty stupid way to get hurt."

Solas stabbed the ground with his staff, "Put her down. She's a grown woman, not a child to be carried around."

"Chuckles,  _ you  _ call her a kid."

"'Da'len' does not always mean child, and you have been made aware of that."

"I'm  _ fine _ , Solas!" Enasal insisted, "I was  _ tall!" _

"Nice, isn't it boss?"

"Yes!" 

"We  _ do _ need to move on." Cassandra pressed.

"That good with you?" Bull asked, moving her from one shoulder to the other. 

Enasal could tell that Bull was just trying to get under Solas' skin.

"I guess we should get going."

Bull plucked her off and put her back on her horse. It looked back at her with mournful eyes until Enasal leaned forward to scratch its neck, cooing in Dalish.

The cabins seemed closest, so they decided to head that way. 

"If they're empty, we can use them as a shelter for tonight."

Enasal started to nod but instead yanked the reins and held her hand up for the group to stop. She turned around to her comrades, and pointed in the direction of a pond, whispering, "What's wrong with that man's head?"

"Seastorm," Varric grinned, "That's a beard."

Enasal blushed up to her ears, "But it’s - I’ve never see one like...let's move out, please!" She said with a nervous laugh, spurring her horse towards the cabin ahead.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The advisors discuss what to do with Enasal while she is busy meeting the holder of beards.

[ Renaissance Lute  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2nr401xYTM)

Josephine sighed as she looked over the pile of letters. “So many requests to meet Enasal - we must try not to keep her here for too long. She should be traveling and meeting with possible allies.”

“She’s not here.” Cullen said, “We sent her out to investigate cults and rumors.”

Josephine picked up one of the letters and started to open it, “People across Thedas are clamoring to meet her.”

“Bards have begun singing tales of her.” Leliana added, “And not just in Haven, but all over.”

“They found her quite charming in Orlais. I have so many letters from people wanting her to attend their own parties.” Josephine said, “And word has spread - people like her.”

“I know that.” Cullen said, “But we can’t just send her around to parties and dinners. You weren’t there, you didn’t see how she was treated. For every person that finds her charming there’s another bigot slinging slurs at her - it absolutely broke her heart.” He leaned against the war table, “Thank the Maker she was too busy looking at the scenery to notice all the stares.”

“She’s pretty, and so very tiny.” Leliana said, grinning at Josephine. “I’m sure she commands quite a lot of attention.”

“It wasn’t always because she’s pretty.” Cullen said, “It was because she was an elf.”

Josephine remained straightfaced, “Or, maybe  _ some _ were staring at a lovely elf.” Cullen glared and she hid her smile behind her clipboard.

Leliana crossed her arms over her chest, “If the mages are involved in Redcliff, perhaps we should ask Enasal to invite them to our cause. I’m sure  _ Enasal _ could relate to their suffering.”

“You don’t have to bring it up.” Cullen snapped, “I know what I did.”

“If you two are quite finished.” Josephine said, “Let us not use Enasal as a subject for bickering.”

“We need to screen these meetings.” Cullen argued, “There was absolutely no excuse for-”

“What happened in Orlais.” Leliana finished, “Yes, Commander, you’ve told us.”

Cullen stood straight, “We are at  _ war _ , Leliana. If you’ve forgotten, we’re dealing with a Breach in the sky, demons running amuck, and fighting between templars and mages. But no, let’s send Enasal to dignitary dinners.”

Josephine took a graceful step between them. "That’s enough. We need to discuss the arriving dignitaries."

"More dignitaries." Cullen muttered.

Josephine ignored him, “Marqui Brodeur from Orlais and Ser Velez from Antiva have both requested a meeting with the Herald. They are both wealthy and in good standing - an alliance with either would be most beneficial."

"And we must still decide where we will put Madame Vivienne." Leliana said, “She has some affairs to settle, but she should be here within the month, and we've yet to decide to put her. I didn’t expect her to want to travel all the way here.”

“And you’re sure these dignitaries want alliances with the Inquisition, and not just to gawk?” 

“Gawking or not, Commander, we cannot afford to snub powerful allies.”

Leliana stepped in, “They will not be left alone with Enasal-”

“That’s not what concerns me.” Cullen muttered.

“We will have dinner and they will sit with her, “Josephine said, “It will be highly controlled and the dignitaries will be briefed on expected behavior.”

Leliana nodded, “We will work with them until they have given us a reason to do otherwise.” 

Josephine was writing something down, “I promise you, Commander, we are just as invested in keeping Enasal safe as you.” She turned to Leliana, “Now, menus. I think we should keep things simple, but also use elements from their home countries.”

“I’m going back to the training fields.” Cullen said, “We’ve gone beyond my expertise.”

Josephine leaned towards Leliana and said behind her clipboard, “And to check for any letters from Redcliffe, I’m sure.”

  
  
  
  


“Thank you for allowing us to stay the night, Ser Blackwall.” Enasal said.

“Couldn’t let you all stay out there, not with the cold.” He was stirring a vat of stew over the fire, “Especially Inquisition folk, good work you’re doing.”

Cassandra nodded, “We are not just with the Inquisition.” She gestured toward Enasal, “You are looking at the Herald of Andraste.”

Blackwall saluted and bowed, “Your Worship!”

“Please, call me Enasal.” She insisted, “I’m really not comfortable with titles.”

“I can respect that.” He was looking through cabinets, “Humility. A good trait in a leader.” 

Solas had been keeping close to his student since they’d accepted Blackwalls invitation. “What brings you to the Hinterlands?” He asked, “The cabin looks to have been abandoned for some time.”

“Recruiting for the Grey Wardens.” Blackwall said, “Been traveling for a time, thought I’d take a few days here before moving on.”

Enasal started slapping Varric on the shoulder, “Varric, Varric, Varric-!”

“What Enasal means,” Varric laughed, “Is we’ve gotten information on a Warden.”

Cassandra had gotten to her feet, “We need information on the Grey Wardens.”

Blackwall nodded, “What would you like to know?”

Bull remained reclined on the floor, “We were told most of the Wardens have gone missing. You’re still here. Any thoughts on that?”

“I’ve always operated alone.” Blackwall said, “I travel to find new recruits. The Blight may be over, but we must remain vigilant.” 

“Enasal.” Cassandra said, “The Grey Wardens are able to conscript people in times of Blight. They have many alliances. Perhaps Warden Blackwall would be willing to join us.”

Enasal nodded and turned to Blackwall, “Warden Blackwall, I officially offer you a position in the Inquisition.”

“Sure you know what you’re doing, boss?” Bull asked.

“You have objections?”

Bull shrugged.

“Fine.” Enasal said, “Warden Blackwall -”

He held up his hands, “Blackwall is fine.”

“Blackwall, we’re on our way to investigate some concerns in Redcliffe and a possible rift. There will be demons, but if you’ve dealt with darkspawn I’m sure you can handle it. Why don’t you come along - consider it a working interview.”

Blackwall laughed, “‘A working interview’! You’re a funny thing.”

Enasal took no offense. She offered her hand, “Do we have an agreement?”

He grabbed her hand - a firm handshake. “I’m at your disposal.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal meets and helps out a cult.  
> The first Elven Artifact is acquired.

[ Skyrim - Music & Ambience - Day ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBkcwy-iWt8)

Enasal's knots were clumsy as she attempted to tie her horse to a nearby tree. Her focus was settled on the tower ahead. There was definitely a rift in there - she could smell the sulfur and taste the blood.

Solas frowned, "Are you alright,  _ da'len?" _

She nodded, "There's a rift."

"Do you feel ill?"

Enasal nodded.

"Anything else?" Solas asked.

She closed her eyes, "Like… breathing." She opened and closed her fist to illustrate, "I feel it in my chest - smells like rain."

Solas tilted his head, "That doesn't sound like any of the rifts we've come across. Perhaps something else?"

"Maybe…"

Blackwall looked down at Varric, "Is she alright?"

"Seastorm's fine." He said, "Chuckles says she senses the rifts, and I have a feeling that it doesn't feel good."

"A tear in the veil and demons." Blackwall said, "I'd imagine not."

Varric finished tying off his horse, "Just a warning, she usually needs time to recover after closing a rift. I don't know if the stories say anything about that part, but sometimes it takes a day or two." He shrugged, "Sometimes she's up and about right away."

Cassandra nodded toward the tower, "There are people inside - someone is waiting at the gate."

Enasal turned to the group, "Varric, keep an eye on those windows. Solas, stay back in case this goes bad. Bull, I need you with me. I don't exactly inspire fear, and I want to make sure they have a reason to rethink any possible altercation. Blackwall, watch Solas' back. Cassandra, you're on Varric."

Varric bowed, "Seeker."

"Ugh."

He ignored the sound, "My little Seastorm. Giving orders and making decisions." He grinned, "They grow up so fast."

"Yes, we are all happy Enasal is growing more confident, now move."

Bull leaned down to Enasal, "Good decisions, boss."

"Thanks." She whispered, "You didn't have to tell me what to say."

"You'll get it on your own, eventually."

The gates to the tower were closed, and a woman stood on the other side, looking at them through the lattice. 

"Who are you?" She asked, "Why are you here?"

Varric had shouldered his way to the front, "My dear lady, you are looking at Enasal - slayer of demons, closer of rifts, and Herald of Andraste herself."

The woman's eyes widened, "You?" She asked, "You are the Herald of Andraste?"

Enasal hadn't planned on introducing herself as such. She held up her left hand, "I was given this mark to close the breach and restore order."

The woman looked behind her and nodded, "If you are truly the Herald, then surely..." She retreated, and the gate was opened.

"I am Speaker Anais." The woman said, gesturing around the overgrown area, "You look upon the Maker's faithful, though we have left the Chantry with full hearts and clear minds."

"We've heard reports of a possible rift." Enasal said, as though she couldn't taste the foul magic in the air. 

Speaker Anais nodded, "Yes, there is one here in the tower, down in the caves." She turned her gaze to the sky, "Our Maker has passed judgment. He has opened the skies so that the faithful can return to him. So we wait."

Enasal glanced back at her comrades, who all had varying looks of unease.

"Demons are pouring out of those holes. I don't think…" She paused, "I don't think the Maker would make something like that." Her fingertips were tingling, and she could see bits of green light flicker along her hand, "But I was given the ability to close it."

The woman looked from Enasal and to everyone behind her. 

"Maybe." She considered, "If the Maker truly favors you, then you should have no trouble closing the rift here." She pointed into the direction of a darkened hall. It was obvious she had no intention of going in.

Enasal nodded, "Bull, take point." 

The sunlight above dissolved into darkness as they went down into the tunnel. The dull green glow of the rift waited somewhere ahead, crackling with fade magic and belching sulfur. Enasal still couldn't understand why nobody else could smell it.

[ D&D Battle Music 2 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4szfmKTFoXA)

A sound like the snapping of a thousand bones echoed through the cavern as the rift shuddered and fractured. Liquid fire oozed from the ground, rising into a molten monstrosity.

"Rage demons." She heard Varric shout from the back, "Fun!"

The demon let out a roar, lava and smoke spewing from its maw.

Five of them.

Enasal dodged around Bull and to the back of the cave, flanking one of the demons and delivering a series of slashes before rolling away from a strike. She left it wounded, turning her focus onto one that had Varric trapped on a ledge of rocks. Cassandra was busy with her own foe, and although Enasal didn't think the demon could get to Varric, it wasn't a risk she was willing to take.

"Dammit, Seastorm,  _ watch yourself!" _

First the heat, then the pain. 

Her arm was on fire. 

Enasal ripped off her coat before flinging herself back at the demon, cutting and slicing until its scream faded back into the rift. 

Strong enough to lift her off her feet, Enasal was jerked towards the rift by her hand. She landed, digging her heels in and trying to stay balanced. The rift pulsed with the beat of her heart, and she felt the anchor in her hand stretch out to grasp it. As her own heart reached a crescendo, the rift exploded, throwing her back against the cave wall. 

[ Fossil Roo ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVTgcO3ApDk)

  
  


_ "That's _ how it works?" Bull shouted.

Enasal stumbled up, unsure which arm to nurse. "That one stung." She said, flapping her left hand, "Ow, it's burning and cold and -  _ ow!" _

"Seastorm, you have to quit that shit!" Varric said, scaling down the rocks to look at her arm. "Let me see that burn."

"It's fine." Enasal said, "Mostly on my coat." She looked down at her arm, splotches of shining red skin dotting her forearm. She picked up her coat, looking at the partial remains. Her right sleeve was nearly gone, and a good portion of the coat was left charred. 

"My poor coat." She murmured.

_ "Da'len." _ Solas said, trying to bring her back to focus, "Your other hand?"

Enasal flexed her fingers, "It's fine - just stings."

"We should get back to the horses." Bull said, "I have some poultice Krem made. I think there's a few for burns."

Speaker Anais was waiting for them at the cave entrance. "Maker's Breath, you did it!"

"Yes, it's gone." Enasal said, "Would you object to us, resting here for a little while?"

"The Maker does give you favor!" She continued, "Yes, please, stay."

Enasal unceremoniously plopped down onto the ground. 

"I'm fine." She assured, "I just need to sit. We'll head out in an hour, so rest up, okay?" Leaned her head against the rocks behind her.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Solas asked.

"Yes, that just wore me out." 

She heard him sit beside her, "It seems you've collected more followers. I'm sure they would have no objection to us staying the night."

She waved him away, "No, we have to get to Redcliffe," She said, "It's not far-"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Enasal rolled her shoulders and neck. "It's not such a bad one, I'll be-"

She stopped.

Enasal stood, eyes glued on something above. Her fists were rolling open and closed a finger at a time, and her head tilted to the side, "What's up there?" 

_ "Da'len _ ?"

"Breathing." Enasal said, "It wasn't the rift." Her eyes seemed to trace a pathway through the tower, "It was something else."

"Should we investigate?" Solas asked.

Enasal's head remained tilted to the side. "...yes. I think it's…" She moved to the nearest door and started making her way up the tower, climbing ladders and stairways seemingly at random. Solas managed to keep up with her by a hair, but she seemed drawn to whatever she was sensing. 

It looked like a globe.

She kneeled down, transfixed by the object. 

"Rain." She said, looking up at Solas. "I don't know what this is, but this is it."

"It looks to be Elven, and very old." He kneeled beside her, "You said breathing and rain?"

Enasal looked at him, "Yes it… I know it isn't, but… it feels like it's breathing." Her mark had started to glow, "And I can smell rain."

_ "Da'len,  _ your mark."

Enasal considered her hand, seeming unimpressed. 

"Try it,  _ da'len _ ."

Somewhat dazed, Enasal reached towards the globe.

It flared with a green light and Enasal let out a yelp, snapping out of whatever trance the object had held her in.

Solas laughed, "It seems to have strengthened the veil here - you were drawn to it." He nodded at her hand, "Possibly because of the mark."

She looked up at him, "I didn't like that."

"I'm sure it was jarring." He said, offering his hand, "We'll have to keep an eye out for more."

Enasal grabbed his hand and hoisted herself up. 

Cassandra snatched the poultice from Bull when they returned, ordering Enasal to sit down. She applied it to the burns and began wrapping her arm.

"You need to remember that you are our only hope of closing the breach." She said, "And if that isn't enough, many people would be distraught if you were killed." 

Enasal lowered her eyes to the ground.

Cassandra stood, "You should apologize to Varric - you worry him sick."

And with those words, Enasal felt her heart break.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Concussions - fun for the entire group.

[ Fossil Roo ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVTgcO3ApDk)

As they neared Redcliffe, Cassandra looked down at Varric, mustering herself for a conversation, "I think I have found a way to somewhat control Enasal."

He laughed, "Control Seastorm? Unlikely."

"I believe if she knows something disappoints you, she will reconsider her actions."

Varric turned to her, "You said-? Don't you ever,  _ ever _ use me as leverage with her! She's too sensitive for that shit."

"But it  _ works _ , Varric!"

"I'd rather her be completely out of control than constantly worried about how things will affect me. Don't do that again. The girl has enough to cry about, let's not add anything to the list." He pointed at Cassandra, "You need to remember that you can't deal with Seastorm like you deal with a soldier."

Cassandra balked at the display of anger and fell silent.

"Guys!" Enasal called from the crest of a hill. "So, I thought the smell was just remnants from the last one…" She pointed, "But I was wrong, there's another."

"We should turn around." Bull said, "The last one took a toll on you."

"Right," Varric agreed, "You don't need to seal two in a day."

Enasal seemed to consider the option until a shout cut through the air.

"Demons!" Someone screamed.

Another commanded, "Everyone back!"

Enasal looked back, "They need help." She said, before drawing her blades and rushing in.

"Of course!” Varric shouted as he joined the charge. “Why would we consider ourselves?"

[ FIND YOUR WAY ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFubjkCqxIg)

There were more demons than usual in this rift, and Enasal felt winded almost immediately. Slashing, parrying, slowing…

Slowing…

Stopping.

Enasal found herself in the air, still as a statue and unable to move. The demon in front of her, cloaked and dripping with frost, let out a scream. She felt herself freeze down to her bones and, with a whirring sound, was thrown back to the ground. Before she could react, she was stuck on her side and sent back into the air, landing hard on her head.

The attacks were coming too fast.

Dizzy and seeing double, Enasal stumbled back towards the battle. Her cuts were sloppy, but she was landing hits and causing damage. She was barely aware as her mark grabbed the rift, pulling her towards it until it shattered and she was thrown back again.

"Enasal!" Cassandra shouted.

Enasal stumbled up long enough to vomit and collapse again. One hand clutched chest and the other her throat. Tears streamed down her face as she panted something in Dalish. Solas was the first to get to her, dropping his staff and grabbing both of her arms. He put her hands on her head.

“She says she cannot breathe!” He shouted, lowering her voice to speak to her in Dalish, repeating the same phrases over and over. 

"Open the gates!" One of the soldiers yelled, "The demons are gone - get one of those mages out here, we need healing!"

Enasal slumped forward against Solas, who looked towards the group. "She is unconscious, but breathing. We should get her somewhere safe."

One of the other soldiers pointed to the gates, "Get her inside! We're up to our noses in mages, we’ll find one that can help."

Bull scooped Enasal up in one arm, his chest immediately smeared with blood. "Her head." He said, "Not sure how bad it is - heads bleed a lot." He didn't mention that he could see a slit of her skull, and silently pressed his free hand to the wound.

"It looks serious." Blackwall said, "Head wounds are no laughing matter."

Enasal had come to, and was jabbering something in Dalish.

Solas shook his head when they looked at him. “It’s gibberish. She’s asking about cakes and dogs, I don’t know what she’s trying to say. She obviously has a concussion.”

She tried to sit up in Bull’s arms, pointing and seeming to have something of grave importance to say to Bull. 

He looked at Solas.

“Nothing!” Solas snapped, “She keeps saying, ‘There’s a dog, get him for me.’”

Bull looked around for the dog, but didn’t see any. 

“Yeah, okay, boss, I’ll get right on that.” He shrugged at the rest of them.

They were met by a mage within a few steps of the entrance, who ordered Enasal to be laid down so he could work. She continued to chatter on.

Varric looked to Solas, "Was it her heart?” He mimicked the gesture Enasal had made, hand clutched to his chest, "The way she did that.”

Solas shook his head, "I believe it was her mind. If the mind becomes too overwhelmed the body reacts - and with so much fear, it reacts with pain." His brow was creased, "She thought she was dying."

"She looked like it," Blackwall commented. "Lips went blue."

"But she will recover?" Cassandra asked. 

Solas nodded, "I believe so, with the mage’s help and some rest."

Enasal shot up, coughing and hacking. 

Her teacher went to her and tilted her chin up, "Let me see your eyes." They were back to the swirling grey he was used to, not longer asymmetrically dilated and hazy. "Good, back to normal." He nodded towards the mage, "Thank you for your assistance." 

"You have saved the life of our Herald." Cassandra said, "We owe you a debt."

The man didn't seem to be cheered by his success. "You've come at an… inopportune time." 

Cassandra nodded, "I see. I assume you are the leader of the rebel mages."

Enasal still seemed woozy, saying in a dreamy voice, "Oh… we were thinking about trying to look for you."

"Don't talk, Seastorm, just relax."

Enasal lay back down.

Cassandra took over, "We seek help to close the Breach."

"Close the Breach!" Enasal said with a fist in the air.

"Quiet, Seastorm."

The mage shuffled his feet, "You'll have to talk to the Grand Enchanter… I don't know if we can help."

"But the Breach must die." Enasal muttered.

Varric pointed at her, "Can we put her somewhere quiet?"

Blackwall shook his head, "Something's not right."

Bull nodded in agreement, "Look at her - what'd your magic do?"

The mage held up his hands, "Her injuries were extensive, sometimes there are side effects-"

"Yes, her reaction is common." Solas agreed, "But we do need to find a place for her to recover." He looked to the mage, "We need to speak to your Grand Enchanter. Can you find somewhere for Enasal to rest while we wait?"

Enasal shouted something in Dalish.

“That’s quite enough of that, Enasal. Quiet yourself.” Solas scolded.

"How long is this supposed to last?" Varric asked.

The mage's eyes were wide, "I don't know?"

“You don’t know?” Bull scooped Enasal up again, "And mages wonder why people get pissy about magic."


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal does not do well with Tevinter.

[ FIND YOUR WAY ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFubjkCqxIg) \+  [ Harbor Sounds ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frEJTGfLOhM)

They had settled Enasal on one of the boats at the docks, hoping the rocking would soothe her to sleep. While she rested, the group spoke in hushed tones.

"You think things are weird." Varric said, "And then they just get weirder."

Solas agreed, "Time alteration. Unexpected… but interesting."

"Interesting?" Cassandra snapped, "It almost killed Enasal!"

Bull jerked his head in Enasal's direction, "She had four of them on her. They were targeting her." He looked at Solas, "Any ideas?"

"Perhaps they sense her mark." Solas said, "They might be beginning to understand what she can do with it."

Enasal's voice rang out, "Who put me in a boat and why?"

Solas chuckled, "She's come back to us."

Varric walked down the dock and grabbed the boat, "We thought it would help, come on out."

She rolled out of the boat, grace be damned. She rubbed her eyes, "What happened?"

"Those demons got you good." Bull said.

Cassandra nodded, "Solas says that the rift was altering time - it's no wonder the demons gave us so much trouble." 

"Wait.." Enasal said, "That's why…" She looked at Solas. "Shit - oh, shit!"

Varric wiped away a mock tear, "Seastorm's first swear!"

"Hardly." Solas said, "You should hear her Elven."

Enasal looked around, "That's bad! The mages are here, right?" She scrambled up, "Am I remembering right?"

Bull caught her by the collar before she could take off, "Slow down, boss."

"We are meeting with the leader of the rebels soon." Cassandra assured, "Everything is under control."

Enasal looked unconvinced.

"Um… excuse me." A mage edged towards them.

"Enasal." Cassandra said, "This is Roman - the mage that healed you. I'm sure he saved your life."

Enasal saluted, "Thank you, Ser Roman."

"Oh, um." The mage stuttered, "I'm no Ser." He pointed towards the smattering of buildings above them, "Grand Enchanter Fiona will see you in the tavern, but…" He shuffled his feet, "You won't like it." Before they could ask questions, he skittered off. 

Enasal looked up at Solas and said something in Dalish.

"I think the phrase that would work is 'scared out of his wits.'"

"He looked scared out of his wits." She repeated.

"Something's definitely going on here." Bull said, "I don't like it."

Cassandra made sure to look at each member of their group in the eye, "We should be careful. Correct, Enasal?"

Enasal flushed and nodded.

They made their way to the tavern, painted with a faded seagull on the side. Enasal glanced back at the group before pushing her way inside, where they were escorted to the Grand Enchanter herself.

The dark-haired elf heaved a sigh, "Welcome, agents of the Inquisition." Enasal had seen the same look in her own grandmother's eyes when she would visit her while the rest of the clan slept - pure exhaustion. "I am Grand En… I am Fiona."

Enasal exchanged looks with Cassandra.

"Are you not the Grand Enchanter?" Cassandra asked, "We require your mages to close the Breach!"

The woman lowered her head, "I am sorry, but…" She took a deep breath before going on, "But we have already pledged ourselves to serve the Tevinter Imperium.”

[ Find Your Way ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6oGyjEW546Y)

All similarities to Enasal's grandmother were gone.

"You did...  _ what?"  _ She asked, "You - you're an elf! How could you sell yourself?" She waved her arms around the room. "All of these people, to Tevinter! They've already enslaved us once, and you're just walking into it!"

"Seastorm, calm down-"

"No, I  _ won't _ 'calm down,' this… this… vile…  _ harellan!"  _

"Shout elven all you like." Fiona said, head still lowered, "I don't understand it."

But Enasal was far from being able to remember a second language. She shouted something else, while Cassandra took over.

"Grand Enchanter, we need your help!"

Fiona shook her head, "All of us are indentured to a magister. I am no longer allowed to negotiate with you."

_ "Fenedhis!" _

Solas pulled her back, "That's enough,  _ da'len _ , you've made your point."

She shouted something back. It was long and angry. The two went back and forth until Solas took a step towards her, his voice level and firm. They stared down one another until Enasal threw her hands up in surrender.

The door opened and Fiona shrunk, lowering her head and taking a few steps back.

"Visitors!" Came a shout.

Two men entered, their clothes and armor painfully Tevinter. "Forgive me for being late, I hadn't realized you'd arrived." 

Fiona's head remained lowered, "Agents of the Inquisition, may I present Magister Gereon Alexius."

The man strode towards them and bent at the waist to be eye-to-eye with Enasal, "So you're the survivor I've heard so much about. Walked right out of the fade?"

"You've taken these mages into slavery." Enasal said, "I cannot abide by that."

"No, I'm liberating them!" He put a hand on Fiona's shoulder. "They were under attack by templars and civilians alike. I took them under my protection. Of course, those that are not born in Tevinter are not immediately given the citizens' rights. They'll work for it, but in ten years' time, they may earn their citizenship."

Enasal's left hand hovered near her weapon's hilt, "So, when does the slavery come in?"

"As long as they pay their dues-"

"And if they can't, you'll enslave them." She said, "And I'm sure they'll all end their 'work' with a lot of debt."

"That's up to them to manage."

Enasal spat in his face.

The Bull grabbed Enasal by her backplate and pulled her back, "Are you stupid?" He snapped.

Cassandra moved to the front, "The arl would not stand for this. Where is he?"

Alexius was making a show of wiping his face, playing the coolheaded party, "He left the mages defenseless. These poor souls need a leader and protector. I offered."

Enasal attempted a leap but was no match for Bull's grip. 

"Don't you have enough slaves?" She shouted.

Bull pulled her further back.

"A spitfire, I see!" Alexius laughed. "A true savage of the south!"

"Keep talking like that." Said Bull, "I'm gonna think about letting her go."

"I take it that would end badly for him?" Blackwall asked.

Alexius gestured for her to sit down, "Let's be civilized and discuss this."

Enasal looked back at Bull.

"Let's try. If he gives us a reason, we kill him later."

Enasal nodded and drew her blades, slamming them on the table in front of her and leaving her hands on the hilts.

"Alright, slaver. Talk."

"One moment, let me get a scribe." He grinned, "I like to keep these little meetings official."

Enasal glowered at him.

"Felix! Oh, where are my manners?" He nodded towards the other man, "My son, Felix."

The man who had entered with Alexius bowed and went to follow his father's orders. Enasal thought it was such a shame that someone from Tevinter could have kind eyes like his. 

Alexius smiled, "I'm not surprised you came along. Containing the Breach is something very few could even attempt, and you succeed." He rested his arms on the table, "I wonder how many mages would be needed to close it for good?"

Enasal adjusted her grip, "Unless this ends with 'I'm going to free all my slaves,' I'm jumping over this table and stabbing you through your eyes."

"Andraste's  _ tits _ , Seastorm!" Varric yelled.

Bull grabbed her chair and backplate, dragging her backward, "Maybe Enasal isn't the best person to do these negotiations. Take it, Cassandra."

"Father," Felix had returned, but stumbled as he neared, "The scribe… is…" 

And he fainted, nearly taking Enasal down with him. 

Alexius was up, "Felix!"

Enasal detangled herself from the chair and stumbled up, pulling Felix with her. 

He looked at her as he steadied himself, "Lady Herald, I'm so sorry!"

Alexius shoved Enasal to the side. She was dragged away by Bull, which she realized would most likely become a regular occurrence. 

She'd need to move faster.

Felix waved his father away with a feeble hand, "I'm fine, father."

"Nonsense! We'll get your powders." He put a guiding arm on his son's shoulder and turned to the group. "We'll continue this later. Fiona, to me."

"I don't mean to trouble you, Lady Herald." Felix said with a downward flicker of his eyes.

Alexius spoke to Felix in a language Enasal couldn't understand, but she could tell it was a sort of gentle command. He then turned his gaze back on the group, "I'll send word to your Inquisition when we are ready to discuss the terms of our agreement."

Enasal sheathed her blades and shouted, "The Inquisition will have  _ no agreements with you!" _

Cassandra was having none of it, "Enasal, there was room to talk to him, out-maneuver him, but you chose to lose your head about it!"

"He's a  _ slaver!"  _ Enasal shouted, "And I am! I'm going to stab his brain through his eyes!"

Varric tried an opposite approach than Cassandra, "Seastorm, take a breath and try to calm down."

"But he's taking mages into slavery -  _ slavery!"  _ She pointed, "I can still see him! If I kill him, he doesn't own the mages anymore!"

"Did anyone see the paper that kid put on Enasal?" Bull interrupted.

Cassandra attempted logic, "Enasal, you must understand that if you kill a magister, it will be traced by to the Inquisition -"

"Good! People will know we'll have nothing to do with slavery!"

"It will have all of Tevinter ready for war - and we cannot afford that now!"

Blackwall made his own attempt at reasoning "If we don't close the Breach, we all die. You won't stop slavery by killing one man."

“There it goes.” Bull said, a little louder this time, “On the floor. Anyone else see it?”

Enasal threw her hands in the air, "Fine, we'll use that logic. We need mages to close the Breach. If we kill him, we get mages!"

"Seastorm, listen." Varric said, "We have to do triage here - first the world, then we'll worry about the slaves, okay?"

"But he's  _ right there. _ "

"I know. We'll find a way to keep the mages free, but you have to try to not do… that."

"Seriously, boss." Bull said, "Look. At. Your. Feet."

Enasal first noticed that someone had put on her shoes between the time she sealed the last rift and when she woke up in a boat. The second thing she noticed was a very small square of paper.

She picked it up, "Bull, how did you-"

"Ben-Hassrath."

"Oh, right," Enasal said as she unfolded the paper. "Spy."

She stared at the paper, then handed it to Cassandra, "Help, please."

Cassandra flicked her eyes across the paper with ease, "Come to the Chantry at sunset. You are in danger."

"Of course, we are." Enasal muttered.

Cassandra shook her head, "Why would he write this?"

Blackwall took the paper from her and looked at it, "He left it unsigned."

Bull leaned over, "Handwriting's forced. No flairs or stray marks."

Solas nodded, "He didn't want his father to recognize it if he found it."

They all looked at Enasal. 

She pinched the bridge of her nose, "At this point, I say we meet him. If he's willing to sell out his father, he's welcome to the Inquisition." 

Varric clapped Enasal on the shoulder, "We have a few hours before sunset. Let's eat and rest up, okay?"

"In a minute." Enasal said, "I promised I'd send a letter with one of Leliana's crows. Cassandra, could you?"

"Of course." 

Ensasal rubbed her temples, "We'll be back soon."

When they left, Varric grabbed the nearest chair and sat, "Shit, I did not expect that from her."

Solas didn't seem as surprised, "Enasal has a temper - and she has an exceptional amount of anger. You never noticed?"

Varric shook his head, "I knew she had a lot to be angry about, but that was  _ graphic! _ She said she was going to stab him through his  _ eyes!" _

"Elves tend to have a more intense aversion to the idea of slavery - as one might expect."

"I get that." Varric said, "Just… shit."

[ The Letter ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UVCP7ff5pI)

Enasal gave a loud whistle when they stepped outside the tavern. Leliana had trained the birds to respond to a specific pattern, which she had taught Enasal during her first days as Herald. A few crows fluttered around her feet. Enasal bent down and slapped her shoulder, which one of the crows happily hopped on.

"You were closest, friend." She said, stroking its chest, "You get the job."

"What should I write?" Cassandra asked.

Enasal continued to stroke the bird, "Dear… do you always use 'dear' to start a letter?"

"It is more informal, but I should think your advisors will not be offended."

"Okay." She touched her forehead to the crow's, "I wish I had some food for you. We'll tell Leliana to give you something good when you get there, okay?"

"Enasal."

She looked tired, "I know, focus." She tilted her head to the side in thought, "Dear… Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana. We have arrived in Redcliffe, and I'm sorry to say, the situation is not good." She scuffed her boots on the ground. "We found the mages, but the Grand Enchanter has allied herself and the other mages with Tevinter - securing them all to a life of slavery. Because Cassandra won't let me kill the slaver-"

"I'm not writing that."

"Fine." She returned to petting the crow. "I will make sure I return with the mages freed from their Grand Enchanter's stupidity."

"Try again."

"I will make sure I return with the mages freed from Magister Alexius."

"Reasonable."

Enasal stretched her arm as the crow moved from her shoulder to her wrist, "How do I end a letter from my advisors?"

"In this situation," Cassandra said, "You could simply write your name."

"That then. Oh, and something else."

"What?"

"Give this crow something special on her return. She is a very good crow." 

Cassandra sighed, but wrote it nonetheless.

When it had been rolled and fastened, Enasal whispered something in Dalish before sending the bird to her duty.

"What did you say to it?"

"It means, 'fly swift, little friend."

"It understands Dalish?"

Enasal shrugged, "As much as she understands my Common." She hugged herself and shook her head, "I'm tired. I'm going to find a bench to sleep on. Wake me when it's time to go."

Cassandra nodded and watched her go. When Enasal was out of sight, she got out paper to pen her own letter to their advisors.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal meets our favorite science-minded Tevinter mage.

[ Rule Of Rose Soundtrack: Track 10 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHyMYq4aa-8)

Enasal rolled her neck as they neared the Chantry. She was tired to her bones, and wondered how long she would be able to keep all this up.

The smell of sulfur and blood was thick. There was another rift.

Maybe they should have just called for the soldiers to run and deal with the other rift later. 

She grasped the door, "There's a rift, and that means demons." She said, "Get ready."

A single mage was there, using his staff to bash in the skull of the nearest demon. He turned to them, clearly exhausted. "Good, you're finally here, help me close this, will you?"

Just as the final demon seemed to be vanquished, there came more. The mage continued to bash demons with his staff while the rest hit with every ounce of strength they had. Blades and arrows, hammers and fists. Enasal watched as demons hurtled toward their targets at an ungodly speed. She saw her friends suddenly slow or come to a stop before being descended on by hastened demons.

When the last demon dissolved into the rift, Enasal already had her feet planted and ready. When the rift pulled her in, her heels skittered across the ground as she was pulled, but she managed to stay on her feet until it blew. She doubted she would ever avoid the typical blowback as the rift sealed, and she was throwing aside like a ragdoll. 

[ Rule Of Rose Soundtrack: Track 4 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iG4EhZwq40)

Bull lifted her up and whispered, “Lean on me. Don’t let him see how tired you are.” 

The mage shook his head in disbelief. "Fascinating!” He said, his eyes on the still-glowing mark. "How does that work exactly?" 

"I just…" She shook her head, "It's hard to explain."

The mage chuckled, "You don't even know, do you? You just wiggle your fingers, and boom! The rift closes."

"I don't think anybody knows how it works," Enasal said, "It just… works." She flapped her left hand, trying to get calm pins-and-needles. "Felix gave us a note to meet him here - who are you?"

He gave a small bow - Enasal wondered how much product he used to keep that mustache in its twisted shape. "I'm getting ahead of myself - but with such a fascinating piece of magic… there I go again." He chuckled, "Dorian of house Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do?"

Cassandra muttered something under her breath. Enasal couldn't help but share her concerns with yet another Tevinter in their midst.

Dorian caught on immediately, "Suspicious, aren't you?"

Enasal pointed to her ears.

"Ah, yes. I understand your suspicions." He said, "But I can guarantee you'll need me."

Enasal's face was not one of belief.

"You see,” Dorian explained, "Master Alexius was once my mentor. I know more about him than any of you could hope. You need me."

Blackwall nodded to Enasal, "As Enasal has said, we received a note from Felix, not you. It does cause suspicion."

Dorian nodded, "I'm sure he's on this way. He's no-doubt attempting to ditch his father."

"What's wrong with the kid?" Varric asked, "Alexius practically jumped out of his armor."

He rolled his eyes, "Felix has had some sort of illness for months. He's an only child, and Alexius is a mother hen." He lazily pointed at Enasal, "I feel like you're the type to know you're in danger, note or not."

"I'm always in danger." She said.

"Now that we're all on the same page," He said, “I want to talk about how Alexius claimed mage rebels right from under your tiny feet."

"I've had my fill of Tevinter." Enasal said, "Can we focus on Alexius and not my feet."

Dorain stifled a laugh, “But of course. How did he get here so fast? The Conclave is not so recent, and yet Alexius managed to make it all the way here before you could. Why do you think that is?”

"The rifts." Enasal said.

Dorian nodded, "Exactly right. In order to get here before you, Alexius distorted time itself."

"Great." Enasal said, "No, really, that's the best. Things are going so well."

Solas leaned forward with a thoughtful smile, "That is fascinating!" His face fell as his next thought occurred. He looked down at Enasal and placed his hand on her head, "And almost certainly dangerous. We almost lost our Enasal to the time-altering rifts.

"So, you noticed." Dorian said, "How time sped and slowed? There will be more, further and further until they appear all over Thades. The magic is wildly unstable, and if left unchecked, it will unravel the world itself."

Enasal frowned, "That's a lot to take in - and a lot to believe. You'll have to excuse me for doubting you and your intentions.”

Dorian took a steadying breath - he seemed to be losing his patients. "I know what I'm talking about - I helped develop the magic."

Again, Solas visibly perked up, "You did? How does one develop time distortion?"

"It  _ was _ purely theoretical." Dorian answered, "We could never get it to work. What I don't understand is how he managed it and  _ why _ . Gaining a few hundred lackeys-"

"Slaves." Enasal said.

Dorian looked away, "Yes… you're probably right. But why is he ripping time to shreds trying to do it?"

The door was eased open. As tense as she was, Enasal's head snapped around. Bull grabbing her backplate made her think better of leaping at the new arrival.

It was Felix.

"He didn't do it to gain lackeys or slaves." He said.

Dorian's brow furrowed, "Took you long enough. Is he suspicious?"

Felix shook his head, "No, but I should stop the fainting act. I thought he'd be fussing over me all day." He leaned on the wall, "Take your powers, Felix. Are you sure you're okay, Felix? Would you like a blanket, Felix? Fiona, get my son some water."

Enasal felt a little more at ease around Felix - she knew it was because of his kind eyes. She looked sideways at Varric, "Not even  _ you _ are that bad with me."

Varric chuckled, "Not yet, but keep acting the way you have, and I'm sure my fussing will reach new heights."

Felix looked down, "My father wasn't always like this. He's joined a cult - Tevinter supremacists. They call themselves the 'Venatori'. "His brow furrowed, "And I can tell you one thing: what he's done, he's done to get to you."

Despite the kindness in his eyes, Enasal couldn't help but be suspicious, "Why would you want to work against your own father?"

Felix gestured toward Dorain, "For the same reason, he works against him." He shook his head, "I know you may find it hard to understand, but I Iove my father and I love my country. All of this, though? Cults? Time magic? What he's doing is madness. For his sake, we have to stop him."

Enasal scowled, "Maybe someone like him isn't worth it."

Felix stared at her for a second before saying, "Look at the man beside you."

Enasal looked at Varric.

"He's done something stupid. Something dangerous. It makes people hate him because it turns him into something terrible. You have a chance to turn him back in the right direction, but you have to destroy everything he's worked for. Would you work against him to save him?"

Enasal's eyes softened

"Yes." She said, with no hesitation. 

"Now, you understand."

Dorian scoffed, "Yes, well, it would have been nice if he hadn't ripped a hole in the sky.”

Bull spoke up, "You said he was after Enasal. Explain."

"The Venitori are obsessed with her." Felix said, "I'm not sure why, but I think it has something to do with her survival at the Conclave."

"She can close rifts." Dorian added, "Maybe there's a connection? Or maybe he simply sees her as a threat?" He clearly couldn't help himself, "A tiny, tiny threat."

Enasal gritted her teeth and ignored him, "Your plan?"

Dorian smiled, "Getting to the good part, are we?" He pulled on his mustache absentmindedly, "We know you're the target, so we can use that to our advantage." He frowned, "I can't stay in Redcliffe. Alexius doesn't know I'm here, and I want to keep it that way."

Enasal looked back at her companions for advice.

"We should return to Haven and discuss our next action." Cassandra said.

Enasal frowned, "That loses too much time - I won't leave these people to be carried off to slavery."

"I wouldn't worry about that." Dorian said.

Felix nodded, "Father is planning to stay until you two have made some of a deal. Send word that you've had to return to your headquarters. Say you were unable to wait for my illness to dissipate. I have a feeling that I’m going to become drastically more ill later tonight."

"And the mages?" Enasal asked.

"He'll make sure they stay." Felix assured.

"Any other opinions?" Enasal asked.

"Tread carefully,  _ da'len. _ " Solas said, "This magic is concerning,” He nodded towards Dorian, "Perhaps he could help us understand more if we are able to speak more openly and at length."

Cassander shook her head, "We cannot bring him with us! A Tevinter!"

Bull chuckled, "But I'm okay?"

"Enasal made that treaty on her own." Cassandra snapped.

Blackwall shrugged, "All this magic, I don't understand it. But if he seems to understand. I agree with Solas, Maker help us."

"Varric?" Enasal asked.

"It's weird. You're weird. Let's just keep that going." 

A smile flickered on Enasal's lips before it fell to a thoughtful frown. She looked at Dorian, "How do I know you won't stab any of us in the back?"

"What if I made a promise?" Dorian asked.

Enasal glared.

"We can have someone guarding him at all times." Cassandra offered, "If he causes trouble, we give him to The Bull."

Bull gave a purposively evil laugh.

"Don't worry, boss. I'll watch him."

Enasal nodded relenting. "Alright, we'll return to Haven. Dorian, you're with us, but we're watching."

He nodded, "I would do the same in your shoes. I’m clearly unstable, I might set things aflame at any second."


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another argument in the war room and Enasal's own bias are scolded.

[ Rule of Rose OST - Backbiting ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoYqUlEFY5Y)

  
  


Enasal stood in front of her advisers, tired from the long days of fighting and travel, and somewhat irritated by everything. The bickering had already begun, and Enasal was rapidly developing an unpleasant mix of aches in her head and stomach.

"We don't have the manpower to take the castle!" Cullen argued.

Cassandra leaned on the war table, staring him down. "Redcliffe is in the hands of a magister."

Josephine placed a piece of paper on the table, "The letter from Alexius asked for Enasal by name. It is an obvious trap to get her alone.”

Enasal was anxiously shuffling her feet as they fought, seeing no way to argue her own views.

Leliana looked over at Cullen.

Creators, here it comes.

"And yet," Leliana said, “Some of us want to stand around and do nothing!"

Enasal groaned. Josephine looked at her and rolled her eyes. 

"Redcliffe Castle is one of the strongest fortresses in Ferelden - it has been under siege countless times, and has yet to fall." He looked at Enasal, "If you go in, you'll die. I won't allow it."

"But if we don't even try to meet Alexius, we lose the mages  _ and _ leave a foreign power on our doorstep!" Leliana argued.

Enasal interrupted her, "Leliana, what have your spies found on the Arl?"

"He's in Denerim, petitioning the crown for assistance." She said.

"There  _ has _ to be a way in." Enasal said, pointing to the door, "I'm going back, and I'm freeing the mages. What can you give me?"

"Enasal," Cullen said, "There is no way in!"

"He's taking them into slavery!" Enasal said, "I'm going back for them!" 

Josephine would forever be forced to act as the calming force, "Our hands are tied, Enasal. For now, we must wait until we have a better plan than letting Enasal stab the keep’s gates until she, herself, is stabbed.”

"Wait." Leliana said, tapping the war table, "No, there is a way in." She looked at Josephine, "When I traveled with the Hero of Ferelden, we went to Redcliffe, finding it under siege by demons and the dead." She continued to tap Redcliffe's name on the map, "We needed to get into the castle in secret. There is a passage near the windmill, an escape route for the family."

She nodded toward Enasal, "It's too big for our troops, but we could send my agent's through."

Cullen shook his head, "Whoever goes in will be spotted within moments."

Leliana nodded, "Yes, that's why we need a distraction. He wishes to speak to Enasal."

Josephine caught on, "While Alexius is speaking to Enasal, our agents could sneak in and turn the tides!

"You can't use her as bait!" Cullen snapped.

The door to the war room opened, and Enasal heard the voice of the Tevinter mage. She still felt chilled when he spoke, "Fortunately, I keep her pretty little head alive."

Behind him, an Inquisition guard scuttled in, "The man says he has information about the magister and his methods, commander."

Dorian stood beside Enasal and smiled. She leaned away ever so slightly.

"Your spies will never get past Alexius's magic without my help. So if the Inquisition is going after him, it would benefit you to bring me along."

Sensing Enasal's discomfort, Cullen walked between her and Dorian while he spoke, "This plan puts you into too much danger. I'm asking you to reconsider - we'll find another way."

Enasal shook her head, "I  _ have _ to help those mages, Cullen. I'll never live with myself if they get taken to Tevinter. Some of them are my people."

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose before nodding, "I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. Please, be careful. Don't be reckless - please."

Enasal nodded.

Leliana glanced at him before saying, "And use one of the crows to write when you arrive and keep us updated. That way, some of us don't worry as much."

Another nod.

"And please, listen to your friends." Josephine said, "If they tell you to slow down, slow down. We came too close to losing you." She nodded, "Lady Cassandra is quite sure that we did lose you for a short time."

Leliana smiled, "We should encourage such talk."

"How will this work?" Enasal asked.

"I want to keep things small, two or three people with you." Leliana said, "As well as Dorain. You will go speak to Alexius - feel free to lie and say we are willing to work with him - and my men will sneak in through the tunnel. While Alexius is busy with you, we'll take his men out, leaving him open for whatever you decide."

Enasal was pretty sure what she would decide. Blade, eye, brain, in that order. She glanced at Dorian, "You said you didn't want Alexius to know you're with us. How do you expect to get in there and still keep your cover?”

"I'll follow behind Lady Leliana's spies." He said, "Walking in wake of the no-doubt many corpses" He nodded to Leliana, "As long as that is alright with your spymaster."

When she nodded, Dorian bowed to Josephine and then turned his attention to Enasal and Cullen. "We should probably leave as soon as possible. Commander, Enasal."

As he turned his back, Enasal gestured with a hand - presumably a rude Dalish gesture.

"Don't like him, I take it?" Cullen said,

"He's Tevinter." Enasal said, "Slavers, all of them."

  
  
  


[ RPG Playlist - Peaceful/Travel Music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8qMyBWZNw0)

Enasal had chosen Varric and Solas to join her return to Redcliffe. Varric had petitioned Bull to join them in order to prevent Enasal from jumping at Alexius on sight. Solas and Dorian seemed to get along well, so Enasal spent most of the trip with Varric or The Bull. Her dislike of Dorian was more than obvious.

"Don't you think you're being a little unfair, Seastorm?" Varric said, "What if he doesn't have slaves? Heck, what if he's against the whole thing?”

"Who says he is?" Enasal argued.

"And who says he isn’t?" Varric countered, "I'm just saying that you don't know." He grinned, "I mean, don't you get your Vallaslin from the blood of your enemies?”

Enasal glared.

"What?" Varric asked in exaggerated confusion, "I heard there was a clan who did. You  _ might _ be from that clan."

"They're crazy, and everyone pretends they don't exist." She said.

"I know that." Varric said, "I'm just trying to explain to you. You don't like it when people make assumptions about you because you're an elf. Do remember the time you slugged someone for saying something about dwarves?" He chuckled at the memory, "Just remember how much you don't like assumptions on your elfiness and my dwarfiness."

Enasal grudgingly nodded.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal and co. screw with the Venatori guards and Enasal is forced to work with her (currently) least liked individual she knows.

[ Lurking ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLXtkxU69B0) .

Dorian peeled off when they made contact with one of Leliana's spies. They were greeted by two Tevinter guards who were meant to escort them at once, but Enasal was determined to be as inconvenient as possible.

"I have to write to my advisors." Enasal said, "So they know I've arrived. It would be bad for your Magister if they thought I had been taken prisoner the second I arrived." They attempted to argue, but relented when fed lies of Enasal’s multiple kidnappings. The guards stood watch as Enasal dictated to Varric. The two took their time with the letter, questioning every pen stroke and syllable until they finally agreed on a final draft that then needed to be rewritten for handwriting errors.

More time for Leliana's spies. 

Realizing they couldn't push their luck any further, Enasal whistled towards a spatter of crows. With recognition, Enasal scooped up a particular crow, "Hello, Lady Corva." She said, "Leliana told me your name. I like it, friend." 

"Attach the letter, you weirdo." Varric chuckled. 

Enasal touched her forehead to Lady Corva's and whispered something in Dalish before she sent her off. When she turned back to the Tevinter guards, she grinned, "What? They know Dalish."

Varric set his face to support Enasal's lie. "Animals have always watched out for our Herald. Seastorm here was captured once, and I guess they were a little too close to some wild bronto - the whole herd came down on the fortress. By the time we got there, she was just sitting around, surrounded by fires and brontos.

The guards exchanged concerned glances. 

Varric grinned at Enasal.

Finally, in the castle, they were handed off to another set of guards. Enasal stood as tall as she could, "We're here to speak to Alexius. Announce us."

One of the guards shook his head, "Magister Alexius wishes to speak to the Herald and only her."

Enasal frowned, "I don't go anywhere without my friends. Especially Bull." 

Bull cracked his knuckles.

Fearing qunari wrath, they were quickly brought into the main hall. Alexius sat on the throne, legs lazily stretched out and head leaning on his palm. Felix stood at his side, flickering his eyes at the group before turning to his father. Enasal noticed Fiona at the bottom of the landing, practically hidden by a pillar.

Probably where he had ordered her to stand.

The guard performed a deep bow, "Magister, forgive me, but she refused to come without her companions."

Alexius clapped his hands and stood. "It's so good to see you again, my friend!" He nodded, eyes going from one person to another, "And your associates, of course. Let's sit, I'm sure we can work out something that works for everyone involved."

Fiona moved from her spot and into the light, "Are we mages to have no voice in deciding our fate?"

Alexius walked up to her and laid a hand on her shoulder.

She flinched.

"Fiona, if you didn't trust me with your associate's lives, you wouldn't have given them to me."

Alexius smiled at Enasal, "Mages are needed to close the Breach, and we have most of the mages left unaffiliated. What will you give us in exchange?"

Enasal shook her head, "You won't have mages to worry about much longer. Right now, however, I'd rather talk about your time magic."

Alexius chuckled, "Time magic? Is that some kind of elf fantasy?"

Felix steeled himself and walked to Alexius, "Father, she knows everything."

"Felix… "Alexius's joyful facade dropped, and he turned to his son. "What have you done?"

"Your son thinks you're in a dangerous cult." Enasal said.

Alexius's mouth twisted into a scowl, "So speaks the thief!

"I've never stolen anything in my life!" Enasal snapped.

As she spoke, a few guards were silently felled, replaced by Inquisition forces.

"Your mark!" Alexius snapped, "You come in here, trying to turn my son against me and toting a stolen mark. You don't even know the gift that lays in your fingers, and yet you feel that you can control it. You were never meant to have that mark. You are a mistake!"

Enasal gave a bitter laugh, "You think you're the first to tell me that?" She felt an annoying twinge as Bull grabbed her backplate, slowly and covertly, "So tell me, if this mark is stolen, who was supposed to get it?"

"Our Elder One!" Alexius said, arms upwards as though to address a nearby god, "The Breach was meant to be a triumphant victory, to reclaim the world with Tevinter at its head, as intended."

Felix moved between them, "Father, listen to yourself!" He begged, "Do you know what you sound like?"

Leliana's spies had been busy. Enough so that Dorian could make his entrance.

"I know." He said, "He sounds like the sort of villainous cliche that makes the world of Thedas love our homeland so very much."

Alexius sighed, "Dorian. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised."

Dorian flashed a wry smile, "Alexius, I wouldn't miss it for the world."

"I gave you a chance to be a part of this." Alexius said, "You turned me down. While you were languishing in whatever cesspool you had found yourself in that particular night, I pledged my service to the Elder One. He is powerful, and has a sword to raise the Imperium from its own ashes."

"You keep saying, Elder One." Enasal said, "Who is that?"

"Soon, he will be a god." Alexius said, "He will remind the world that mages are to be respected on bended knee. From the Boeric Ocean to the Frozen Seas, Tevinter will rule again."

Fiona dared a step forward, "You can't involve my people in this! You promised they would be kept safe!"

Enasal tested Bull's grip on her backplate - she wasn't going anywhere until he let her go.

"Listen to yourself, Alexius," Dorian said, "This is exactly what we talked about  _ never _ wanting to happen!"

"Please, father, stop this." Felix insisted, "Give up on the Venatori and let's go home. Let the southern mages fight the Breach with this woman."

Alexius grabbed his son, "No! Felix, this is the only way, he said he could save you!"

Behind them, the final guard fell.

Felix shook his head, "I'm going to die, father. You need to accept that."

"Seize them, Venatori!" Alexius began, his face blanching when he noticed a sudden lack of followers.

"It's over, Alexius." Enasal said, a wide grin on her face, "Release the mages-"

Alexius rushed in front of Felix, his hand cupping a whirling mass of fade energy.

"No!"

A spell flew past Enasal's ear and collided with the shimmering mass. The spells arched around the other, spinning in tighter and tighter circles until-"

  
  


[ Catacombs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPpVMmTt74Q)

Something was off.

Enasal shivered - had she fallen asleep and the bath gone cold?

No… no, that's not it. She couldn't open her eyes.

A voice warbled in the distance, and she tried to shoo it away. 

A hand slapped her cheek, just hard enough to smart. 

Enasal winced and forced her eyes open. 

A waterlogged basement, sporting the columns and bars of a prison. Enasal's head drifted until she noticed the humming in the air. One by one, things came into focus. Bits of ash floated upwards, slow and lazy. The whole area was steeped in the familiar scent of rifts - dotted with something sour that set her teeth on edge.

The hand against her cheek again, slightly harder. 

"Enasal!"

Sitting on the ground with water up to her chest, Enasal suddenly came to and scrambled up.

"What…?" She stared, "What is-"

"Blood of the Elder one!" 

By sheer reflex, Enasal unsheathed one of her blades and lashed out at the guard. Dorian was hot on her heels with a few choice bursts of fire and ice until the group of soldiers lay dead. Dorian wasted no time in searching the bodies, while Enasal leaned backwards to recover. Everything here seemed vague and wavering.

"Displacement," She heard Dorian exclaim to himself, "Interesting." He prodded at a tiny wisp of ash above his head, "I doubt this is what Alexius intended. The spell must have moved us, yes? But  _ to what? _ " He picked up a broken orb, cocking his head to the side as he considered it, "The closest confluence of arcane energy?"

Enasal pushed herself front the wall, "You're going to have to slow down - my Common isn't that colorful."

"Forgive me, I'll start over."

Enasal was irritated at his sincerity.

"Tell me, what do you last remember?"

Enasal shook her head, "I was… I thought I was in the bath, but… no… no, we were at Redcliffe Castle."

Dorian nodded, "Let's see…. Yes. Yes, we must still be in the castle, mustn't we - oh!" He seemed to be itching to write by the way his fingers twitched, "Of course, it's not simply where - it's when! Alexius used the amulet as a focus."

He had the audacity to smile.

"It moved us through time!"

Enasal wanted to argue, but whatever hellscape they'd landed in seemed to make anything believable. "Time travel?" She asked, "As in, today is yesterday? That can happen?"

Dorian furrowed his brow, "Normally, I would say no.... but with the recent new evidence, I would say it's more than likely." He nodded to her hand, "We all noticed rifts behaving strangely, but instead of closing this one, we simply fell through."

Enasal flexed her fingers, "When I close a rift, it always does pull me towards it."

"I see!" Dorian said, "But never through?"

Enasal nodded.

"Let's take a look around and see where the rift took us. Then we can figure out how to get back." 

"What do you think he was trying to do?"

"Alexius? Probably to remove you completely. That way, his plans at the Conclave could go unspoiled."

"But, something went wrong." Enasal said.

Dorina nodded, "I think we surprised him, and he panicked - tossed us into the rift before he was fully focused. I countered his spell, and the magic went wild. Make sense?"

"Unfortunately," Enasal said. She was utterly soaked through, and the chill had thoroughly sunk to her bones. "Because the Breach wasn't bad enough."

"Oh, this will make things much worse." Dorian assured, "We didn't 'travel' through time so much as punch a hole through it and toss it in the privy. I don't even want to think about what this means for the remaining fabric of the world."

"The others!" Enasal realized, "Varric, Solas, and Bull! All the other soldiers - Alexius?"

Dorian shook his head, "I think it's safe to say we're on our own. He would have kept the spell small so as to avoid pulling anyone else in with you - friend or foe."

Enasal couldn't decide if she felt relieved or not. 

"How do we get out?"

Dorian swept his arm around the room, "We need to find Alexius." He said, "And on our way there, I'm sure we'll figure out the rest."

"That's not very reassuring." 

"I know. I am sorry about that." He nodded, “But don't worry, I’ll do what I can to see us both leave here alive." 


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Dark Future.  
> The trauma hasn't even started yet.

[ Catacombs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPpVMmTt74Q)

Enasal did not like walking through the water.

Either submerged to her hips or puddles on the ground, water made an incredible amount of noise when disturbed, not to mention the discomfort of never being dry.

It was like the color had been sapped from the world, leaving only a memory of what once was - except for the slightest haze of green and a shimmering red she would sometimes notice glittering between the masonry or along bodies of the dead. That was as brilliantly colored as anything she had ever seen.

Varric was right - that stuff was evil.

“Dorian.” Enasal started, “Alexius mentioned an ‘Elder One’. What do you think-”

Somewhere ahead of them, the splashing of many feet.

“Hold that thought.” Dorian said, “It seems we have company.” He flicked his staff to the side before slamming it down on the ground. Electricity danced on the surface of the water and Enasal readied herself for the shock, cursing the mage’s stupidity as she prepared for death.

But it never came.

A barrier that had encircled her flickered green once before disappearing. More shouts, and more splashing on their other side.

“Your turn!” Dorian shouted, “Those aren't the easiest spells to pair. I’ll cover you, kill the rest if you would.”

Enasal hadn’t gotten a good look at the first group, but she got an eyeful on the next.

Clad in armor of stone and red crystals, they tore around the corner, crazed and shouting. 

Crazy was something easily taken advantage of.

Enasal unsheated and lept to the nearest ruined column - if she was going to fight, she had to stay above the water. 

“Hey!” She shouted,”I learned a new word recently, interested?” They had all turned to her and were steadily fighting their way through the water to get to her.

“It’s ‘concussion’!” She shouted, jumping to jam the hilts of her blades into the nearest head, aiming for the temple so it jerked the soldier’s head to the side. With a crack of bone he fell.

“Concussion!” She repeated, jumping off the fallen soldier and onto the next. This one was alerted to her strategy and use an armored fist to hit her square in her chest. She fell back into the water, accidentally inhaling the stuff as she hit the floor and forced her eyes open in hopes of spotting armored legs churning the water.

Instead, she saw bloated bodies.

And she had just inhaled it.

Enasal burst out of the water, bladed angled upward in hopes of hitting something. Her blade glanced off a helmet, but with enough force to unsteady the man. Enasal was searching for something else to jump on when the final soldier was blown back and into the wall. 

He fell into the water and was still as the last remaining air rose to the surface of the, frothy and pink

Enasal leaned forward and was sick.

“I swallowed it.” She said between heaves, “I swallowed it.”

“You… swallowed it?”

“The water!” She snapped, “There are bodies… rotting… and I swallowed it.”

Dorian looked down at the water, feeling around with his foot before hitting something. He stared for a few seconds before explaining. “Oh! Oh, well, that’s charming.”

Enasal heaved again.

“Speaking of charming.” Dorian muttered, walking up to her and hitting her back with considerable force. 

With a final purge of her stomach contents, Enasal stood straight, wiping her mouth. She felt on her hip for her waterskin, thanking the Creators that she had recently filled it. She poured water into her mouth, swished and spat once, twice, three times. She then drank a few generous swallows.

“Those crystals.” Dorian said, crouching to look at some that had burst through their attacker’s armor, “Do you know anything about them?”

“Red lyrium.” She gasped, “Corrupted lyrium. Makes people crazy. That’s the extent of my knowledge -  _ don’t touch it!” _

Dorian withdrew his hand.

“Varric says just being close to the stuff can mess with you. He says it’s evil.” She still felt filthy with vomit, and wiped her mouth and nose again - it had gotten into her nose. “You said we need to find Alexius?”

Dorian nodded, “Yes, though I doubt he’ll be in a flooded dungeon. Best we try to head up.” 

Enasal nodded.

They had finally navigated to a set of stairs when Enasal glanced back at Dorian. “Who was Alexius talking about when he said “Elder One?”

“Leader of the Venatori, I suspect.” Dorian rolled his eyes, “Some magister aspiring to godhood, which got us into the nasty situation of absent gods and getting the evil eye from any non-Tevinter we meet. ‘Oh, let’s play with magic we don’t understand! It will make us incredibly powerful! The Imperium will rise again!’ and so on and so forth.” He frowned, “Evidently, it doesn’t matter if you rip apart the fabric of time and space in the process.”

“Dorian.” Enasal began, “You’re a mage. Do you… smell anything?”

“Quite a lot of mildew, but something tells me that’s now what you have in mind.”

Enasal nodded, “When I get near a rift… I can smell it, strong enough to taste if I’m close enough. It’s different than smelling anything else.” She hugged herself, “When I get near a rift, I smell sulfur and blood… but with that red lyrium, there’s something else. Rot.”

“And you're sure it isn’t the water-logged bodies?”

“I’m sure.”

Enasal continued to lead the way, skipping around puddles and rubble to avoid making too much noise. “Cells.” she said, nodding to either side of the rooms, “And lots of them.”

“Empty.” Dorian said, “Just those crystals.”

As they ran through rooms and rooms of empty cells, Dorian suddenly grabbed Enasal and pulled her back. There, contorted against the wall and nearly encased in red lyrium, was Fiona.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fiona doesn't look so good.

[ Catacombs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPpVMmTt74Q)

Fiona seemed to be growing out of the crystal. Her body was jammed against the wall, head turned forcibly so her cheek was pressed to the wet stone. One of her arms was forced over her head, while the other was pinned to her side.

Enasal's first thought was a petty 'serves you right' but the longer she looked, pettiness was replaced with pity.

Even she didn't deserve this.

The woman let out a rattling gasp, "You're… alive? But I saw you…" Her breath was labored, and she spoke between gasps, "You disappeared into… the rift."

Enasal tested the lock - it was completely encrusted with rust and crystals. "What happened to you?"

Fiona suddenly shivered, teeth chattering, "Red lyrium… it's a disease." Her breathing seemed more troubled, "The longer you're near it…. eventually… this is what you become. Then they mine your corpse for the rest."

Dorain leaned in, "Can you tell us the date?" He pressed, "It's very important."

Fiona closed her eyes in thought, "Wintermarch…" She gasped, "9:42...Dragon."

"9:42!" Dorian blanched, "We've missed an entire year!"

Enasal looked at Dorian, "We have to get back."

"Alexius…" Fiona seemed to be losing steam, "He serves the… Elder One… more powerful than the Maker. No one… "

"It's alright, stop talking." Enasal urged, "I promise, I'll do anything in my power to fix this."

Dorian tugged on Enasal's arm, "Our only hope is to find the amulet that Alexius used to send us here. If it still exists, we can use it to reopen the rift at the exact spot we left." He considered before adding, "Maybe."

Fiona shivering was growing more severe, "Good."

"I said, maybe." Dorain said, "It might also turn us into a glittery paste, or butterflies, or maybe a couple of puddles of blood."

"You must try." Fiona croaked, "Your… spymaster. Find her… before he… learns you're..."

"Wait! Enasal said, "Who else is here? My other advisors, my friends!"

Her eyes fluttered and glazed, her body gave a final shudder, and the last bit of breath rattled out of her lungs.

She was dead.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hello trauma!  
> You haven't really hung out with Enasal in a while, huh?  
> She'll be thrilled.

[ Catacombs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPpVMmTt74Q)

The number of soldiers increased as they pushed further into the castle. Dorian pointed out the templar insignia left on some of the armor between battles, asking Enasal if she knew anything of the order. But Enasal wasn't paying attention, she was too busy checking each cell.

If Leliana was here, who else might be?

In a single cell sat Cassandra. Sitting in the corner, and head lowered as she quietly prayed.

Enasal called her name, fumbling with her lockpicks, and examining the lock. This one was clear of red lyrium - she silently thanked Leliana for teaching her how to pick locks.

"You… you've returned to us?" 

Cassandra's voice was odd: echoing but somehow hollow. She stumbled up, and Enasal saw a red glint in her eye and the bloodied fog that rose from her body.

"Just relax, Cassandra," Enasal said, tinkering with the lock, "I'm getting you out of here!"

Cassandra rested her head against the bars, slowly shaking her head, "Andraste, in your grace, you've given me another chance, Maker forgive me." 

Enasal jerked at the lock - not quite.

"I failed you, Enasal." She said, "I failed everyone. The dead were returning to life, demons assaulted cities. I was there… Alexius obliterated you with a gesture… I saw you die."

"I'm not dead." Enasal said, finally picking the lock and opening the door. "You're free, let's get out of here."

Cassandra shook her head, "Nothing you can do can help me. I will be the Maker soon."

"Listen," Dorian said, "Alexius sent us forward in time. We can fix this if we can return."

A spark of hope lit itself in Cassandra's eyes, "Then, can you make it so that this never took place?"

Enasal nodded, "We will." 

"We  _ hope _ ." Dorian amended.

"I'm sorry," Enasal said, "I should have been there - we'll fix this, I promise!"

"You're here now, Enasal."

Dorian was trying to keep everything on the rails, "We're looking for any other survivors, Leliana and Alexius?"

Cassandra shook her head, "I do not know. Many of us were kept in the same room for a time, but we were put separated soon after. I hear screams every night - I do not know who still remains and who is dead."

Enasal turned to Dorian, "We have to find the others!"

Dorian shook his head, "We need to remain focused. Leliana and Alexius, that is who we need to think about."

"But if they're here-"

"Then we can save them by returning to our time." Dorian finished.

Enasal was unperturbed and repeated, "But if they're here-"

Cassandra crooked out a laugh, "Enasal, how I've missed your tenacity." She smiled weakly, "I might be able to remember how to get further up. Let me help, and if we find anyone along the way, we will rescue them."

Enasal nodded. 

They had stopped at an intersection, where all but one way was blocked by a drawbridge. "Blackwall and The Iron Bull." Cassandra said as they walked, "When they separated us, they were taken to the west, myself to the south." 

"Aren’t you lucky, Enasal." Dorian said, "West is our only choice."

"And the others?" Enasal asked.

"I do not know." Cassandra said, "Solas and Varric were separated earlier than the rest. I'd wager Varric is dead - he tried to keep our spirits up with stories… if someone came in and started to unlock anyone else's cell, he'd start goading them. He was drug out more than I can say."

Of course, he was.

They fought their way through another series of soldiers, the numbers seeming to grow with each attack. Enasal managed to pick a lock between battles and dash into another series of cells, where the group caught their breath. 

After locking the door behind them, Enasal collapsed with the group next to Cassandra, offering her waterskin to the group. Dorian accepted the offer, While Cassandra shook her head.

"I know not what might happen to you if we share that." Cassandra said, "I will not risk your health." She pulled something out of her pocket and gave it to Enasal. "I found it on one of the soldiers' bodies."

Enasal turned the key over in her hand. It was large and ornate, heavy and decorated with a dragon curling along the key's shaft.

"Looks important." Enasal said, showing it to Dorian. 

"Almost certainly." Dorian said, "Oh, and of course - an angry dragon! Tevinter in general, reevers these beasts. Alexius more so than most."

"We should keep an eye out." Cassandra said in her empty voice.

Enasal looked at Dorian, "More cells. You do what you want, but I'm searching them."

Dorain shook his head, "Enasal, if we get to Alexius, we can -"

But Enasal was already off with Cassandra at her heels.

Dorian cursed under his breath before taking chase.

After a few empty rooms, they finally came to an occupied cell.

Enasal immediately grabbed her lockpicks, "Bull!" She shouted, "Bull, I'm here!"

He turned to look at her with the same reddish eyes as Cassandra, he blinked slowly before saying, "You're not dead? But I saw him kill you - there was a burn on the ground and everything."

"Time travel, not dead." Dorian explained, "Now we need to move."

Bull was shaking his head and looking at the ground, "I should have kept a tighter grip on you, boss. I shouldn't have let you go."

"Don't say that." Enasal said, opening the gate, "Everything's going to be okay now, we'll fix this." She shook her head, "You look sick."

Bull examined his hand, looking at the tiny clusters of crystals that had congregated around wounds, "Red lyrium, I think. But now that you're here, I can die fighting."

"Die?" Enasal said.

Cassandra pulled her arm, "The red lyrium."

"You can't die, not you, too!" Enasal said, "We have to find the others and-"

Dorian forcibly pulled Enasal's face to look at him, "They are not dying. Remember, if we go back, none of this happens. Your friends are still safe in the past."

"Blackwall's nearby." Bull said, pointing in a vague direction. "They got to him a few nights ago - heard the beating from all the way here. They all think we know where you are. Been taking turns on us, trying to find who will break."

Enasal nodded and took off in the direction.

Dorian tried to stop her, but Bull shook his head and pushed past him, "This is typical behavior, just go with it."

Bull was right, a few rooms beyond they found Blackwall, praying to himself in his cell.

Enasal threw herself against the bars, "Blackwall!" 

He jumped and turned to the group, shaking his head in disbelief. "Andraste have mercy, why are you here? You're dead, the dead should rest in peace… what did they do to you, Enasal?"

Enasal shook her head, the locks were falling faster with each success. "I'm fine, you're the one who should be worried about. We were sent forward in time, but we're trying to find our way back. It'll be like none of this ever happened." She looked at Blackwall, red misted and red-eyed as the rest, and his face was heavily bruised. Maybe the lighting was different here, but she noticed flakes of blood around his eyes that she hadn't seen in the others.

"You say you're going to fix this?"

Enasal nodded, examining the spots where his coat had been ripped, revealing torn flesh. "You're hurt."

"Nothing I can't handle." He said, reaching out to put his hand on her head. "Maker's Breath, you're real."

"I'm going to fix this." She promised.

"Maybe I've gone mad." He laughed, a laugh just as rusty and out-of-place as Cassandra's "But I believe you."

The fights were getting worse.

"They're protecting something." Bull said, “They’ve got something important nearby.”

"Maybe another key?" Cassandra asked.

Enasal shook her head, "No… it's a rift."


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, Enasal might not have had enough rage to get through this if she hadn't found them.

[ Catacombs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPpVMmTt74Q)

Guarded as if it were something of great work, the rift pulsed in the air above them - air that boiled with flickering rifts of all sizes.

Enasal's stomach turned and her breath caught in her throat. 

This one was different - a distinctive scent of rot.

"They haven't seen us yet." Bull whispered, "I think we should turn back."

Dorian nodded, "Agreed. It's too risky, we don't even know what's over there."

"Where else can we go?" Cassandra asked, "I think we've explored the whole area."

Blackwall nodded, "Might be our only way to go."

"There were some other ways." Enasal said, "Before we found you guys." She nodded to Blackwall and Bull, "Maybe Bull can reach the drawbridges. He could pull them down."

Bull furrowed his brow, "I think I remember that - we all were held across from here."

Enasal looked at Dorian, "We have to go back. I need to find my friends."

Dorian frowned.

"Please!" Enasal said, trying to blink the tears out of her eyes, "Look at Bull, look at Cassandra, look at Blackwall! They're dying." She shook her head, "I have to find Solas and Varric - I won’t abandon them."

Dorian tried to reason with him, "Enasal, the faster we find Alexius-"

"No!" Enasal snapped, "Solas is my teacher and Varric… well, Varric takes care of me! I'm not leaving them!" She stood and glared at Dorian, "If you want to skip it, fine, go. But I'm going to find my friends, I'm going to rescue them, and I'm going to fix this."

She stared back to the crossroads, unsure whether or not the others would behind her. She glanced back and was relieved to see her usual companions following behind - she wondered how long Dorian would put up with her.

But to the void with him if he thought she'd leave anyone behind.

The crossroads were still closed, but Bull was able to lift Enasal high enough for her to grasp the drawbridge and tumble down the other side. After a few seconds of searching, she found the crank to lower the bridge and let the rest of them through. 

She held up a key, "This was by the crank, another key." 

"There's no doubt now." Dorian said, "These are of some importance."

This area seemed more isolated, more abandoned. Each locked door revealed a room with a single cell, and Enasal was desperately lockpicking every door, calling for Varric and Solas.

Please. 

Please let them be here.

Varric was always so kind, always the first to go to her defense and doing his best to make her smile and laugh. 

Solas. In her clan, and surely wherever he was from, the bond between teacher and student was one that should only be severed through death.

Her protector and teacher - she wouldn't leave them.

"Boss." Bull said, grabbing her backplate and easing her back. He turned her to face him, holding her by her shoulders, "They might be dead. It's better if they're dead."

Enasal jerked away, wiping her eyes clear of tears, "I'm finding them."

She went to the nearest door, unlocking another door to reveal yet another empty room.

Another door opened - empty.

Another.

Empty.

Another -

Enasal threw herself into the room, frantic with her lockpicks.

" _ Dirthalen!"  _

_ "Da'len?" _

With shaky hands, Enasal managed to open the cell door and threw her arms around her teacher, crying and shaking. Solas didn't ease away or frown, he pulled her in close. 

"I saw you die." He said, "Enasal, there was nothing left of you."

Dorian entered the room, "The spell Alexius cast displaced us in time. We just got here, so to speak."

Solas titled Enasal's head to look at him, "So you experienced nothing? There is kindness in this world." He attempted to take a step away, but she continued to hold him tight. 

"Please." She begged, "Just a little longer." 

He nodded into her hair for a few more seconds before taking a step back to examine her. "Are you alright? Besides the usual injuries, you seem to collect."

She nodded.

Satisfied, Solas turned to Dorian, "Can you reverse the process? It might not be too late."

Enasal stood on her toes to look at him, "Why do you look so much worse than everyone else? You're skin's so hot - drink some of my water, I think you have a fever-"

Gently, he pushed the waterskin away and shook his head. "I am dying,  _ da'len _ . But, if you can undo this, it is of no consequence."

"You _ can't _ die!" 

"We're all dying,  _ da'len _ ." Solas soothed, "There is nothing that can be done."

Enasal shook her head.

This couldn't be happening.

"Tell me what happened to you." Enasal said, before looking behind her, "To all of you!"

"Alexius's master," Solas said, "The Elder One reigns now, unchallenged. He ordered the assassination of the Orlesian Empress and used the chaos to invade the south. In his wake, march an army of demons and corrupted followers."

"Solas," Enasal said, "You need to rest, we'll take care of this."

Solas shook his head, "A teacher should never allow his student to run amuck." His smile was weak, "I won't leave you alone again."

Enasal wrapped his arms around him another time.

Solas nodded to the rest of them, "This world is an abomination. I will fight alongside you to assure it never comes to pass." He touched his forehead to the top of Enasal's head, "I think you might have to let me go,  _ da'len. _ "

Enasal nodded, pulling away and wiping her eyes.

"I've heard whispers from the guards that Leliana is here. She is not making their lives easy."

Blackwall nodded in approval, "I'd wager she isn't."

"Do You know where?" Dorian said, "It's essential we find her to see what she knows about Alexius."

Solas shook her head, "I have heard nothing of her here. I doubt she is this way."

"Varric?" Enasal asked in a shaking voice.

"He isn't here. I think they took him somewhere more secure - punishment for sheer annoyance." A bitter smiled, "He antagonized the guards at every opportunity."

Bull pointed back, "North at the crossroads. That might be where Red is."

Enasal was still wiping her eyes, but took point in front of the group. "Maybe Varric will be there too." She looked back, "Bull?"

"Yeah, I'll get you over the bridge."

When the final drawbridge was lowered, the group found themselves amidst more cells. 

There was little resistance here, which made the rest of the group uneasy. But Enasal had tunnel-vision. She had forgotten Alexius and time travel, and the state of the world and the Elder One.

She was too focused on finding her friends, Leliana, Josephine, Cullen.

Varric.

The first person to be kind to her since she left her sister to travel to the Conclave.

She continued her pattern of unlocking every door she came across, ignoring Dorian's pleas to focus on the task at hand.

It  _ was _ her task at hand.

There were only a few doors left before the staircase. Enasal was frantic, muttering in Dalish and shaking more and more with each door. At the final door, she stopped, frozen. 

"Varric?" She squeaked out, "Varric?"

Nobody heard a response from the room.

Enasal's covered her mouth to keep in a scream, and she took a few steps into the room.

"Varric?" 

His head moved. He turned to look at her, then his face crumpled, and he put his face back to the wall."

"Nope. Not falling for it again."

Enasal was on her knees, trying to jam her lockpick in with shaking hands. She dropped them, and they scattered to the floor. 

"Varric, it's me, it's me!" She jerked at the bars in frustration before turning to the group, "Someone help me! Help me, I can't, it's too- somebody open the damn door!"

Bull pulled Enasal up and to the side, while he grasped the bars near the lock. They groaned in protest before snapping. "Wasn't sure I would still be able to do that."

Enasal pushed past, kneeling by Varric and shaking him, "I'm here, Varric, look at me, I'm here!"

His stare was blank and he shook his head, returning his gaze to the corner.

Enasal grabbed his face, "Varric, look at me! It's Enasal, it's Seastorm!" 

There was a spark in his red-glinted eyes, and he reached up to touch the hand on his cheek. He shook his head, "No. No, you're dead. No, Seastorm, you died! You didn't have to go through any of this, you're dead!"

Enasal burst into theirs and hugged him tight, completely racked with sobs.

He grasped her to him, trying to hold in a sob, "You need to run." Varric said, "If he figures out you're here-"

Dorian stepped forward, "We didn't go through any of this. Alexius sent us into the future."

Varric chuckled and wiped his eyes before taking Enasal's face into his hands, "Everything that happens to you is so weird." 

"The others have been saying the lyrium is so much worse." She said, "I almost hoped you…" She took a shuddering breath, "I was almost hoping you were dead."

"Everything just kept getting worse. Every day, I was happy you died right-out and didn't have to live in this." He blinked rapidly and set his jaw, before pulling her close again, "I missed you every day, Seastorm."

Enasal shook her head, "You don't have to miss me anymore, we're going to fix it. We just need to find Alexius." She pulled Varric up, "It'll be over soon." She still had a tight grip on his hand.

Part of her never wanted to let go.

"Nightingale." Varric said, "She's upstairs. She'll know where to go."

"Do you need to rest?" Enasal pressed, squeezing his hand.

"I'm fine." He said, despite a bruised face and obvious limp. "If you want to take on Alexius, I'm by your side." He laughed, dry and cracked, "I'm not taking my eyes off you again - can't have you getting scooped out of time again."


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leliana paints a picture of the world they reside in and the death of her fellow advisors.  
> Alexius is at arm's length.

[ Catacombs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPpVMmTt74Q)

Up the stairs and down the halls, twisting this way and that, following screams. 

But which door?

They all spread out, trying to find the sources of a sound. On the third door, Enasal tried, she heard the sickening sound of breaking bone and a gasp of pain.

Enasal waved her friends over and eased the door open.

Leliana hung from the ceiling by her arms, her toes a few inches above the ground. Blood streamed from her nose, and her face was crisscrossed with scars.

A nearby man grabbed her face, "You will break." He said, shoving her face away and turning to his tools.

Leliana rolled her wrists and clenched her fists, preparing for another cut, another broken finger, another lost tooth. But she saw the door open, and she saw Enasal. 

A flicker of hope.

"I will die first!" She cried, using forgotten strength to rear up and grab the man with her legs. There was a crack, and she jerked his head to the side, breaking his neck. 

Leliana shuddered as her body relaxed, "You're alive."

Bull and Cassandra ran to untie her, easing her back to the ground.

"We never died." Enasal said.

Leliana nodded, "I see you all made it. Good." She went to a pile of belongings by the furnace, finding a functioning bow and testing the string. "The magister is probably in his chambers. We should take care of him."

Dorian looked around uneasily, "You aren't… curious as to how we got here?"

"No."

"Alexius sent us into the future." He continued, "This was never meant to be. If we can get back to our present time, we can prevent this future from ever occurring."

Leliana scowled, "And mages wonder why we fear them. No one should have this power."

Dorian tried to explain, "Listen, the magic he used is dangerous and unpredictable. Before the Breach, nothing we did-"

Leliana slammed her hand against the table, rattling knives and pliers, "Enough! This isn't real to you, some future you hope will never exist. I suffered." She pointed to the others, "They suffered! We were tortured for information we didn't know. The world is dying. It is real."

Enasal took a tentative step forward, "I'm sorry, Leliana. I wish it wasn't." 

Leliana pushed through the group, "Did you see an open hall?"

Enasal nodded, "There was a huge rift."

"It guards Alexius." Leliana said.

"A rift… guards?"

Leliana nodded, "The rifts exist at the beckon call of the Elder One. If he wanted, he could call one into this very room.

"We get through the rift, and we get to Alexius?" Dorian asked.

"Not quite." Leliana said, holding up a key. "This was on my torturer. There are five like it. Alexius has become paranoid, so many keys are needed to unlock the door to the castle hall."

"Two to go, Nightingale," Varric said, "We've found two already, and you're holding on to another."

"They'll be on his men." Leliana said, "We have to find them all."

Blackwall caught up with Leliana, "The hall's large - we could try to spread out, take them by surprise and send Enasal in to seal the rift."

Leliana nodded.

The group circled, listening as Leliana gave orders. 

She made it sound easy - she had probably practiced this in her head so many times. 

Bull kept watch for the guard rotation, while the rest sat on the floor in near silence. 

"Leliana?" Enasal started.

"What?" It was harsh.

"Cullen and Josephine?" She asked, "Are they?"

"Dead."

Enasal had guessed that they were, but she didn't expect it to be so hard to hear.

"How?" She managed to choke out.

"How?" Leliana repeated, her mouth twisted into a bitter smile, "Cullen took every person willing to fight and led a final charge, using your name as the rallying cry. Josephine tried to evacuate as many survivors from Haven as she could - she was thanked with four arrows in her back." Leliana's eyes bore into her, "They were the lucky ones."

All that time ago, when she had first arrived at Haven, Enasal had made a mistake when she looked at Cassandra and Leliana and decided Leliana was the gentle one.

She was not gentle.

Not anymore.

"Rotation time." Bull said, "It's now or never. Ready, boss?"

Enasal nodded.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYFU_RiefKk&t=571s ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYFU_RiefKk&t=571s)

Spells and arrows flew through the air while the clattering of blades rang out. The rift crackled, dropping demons into the battle. Screams and growls, battle cries and roars. Enasal felt herself slowed and sped up, yanked to a stop and thrown forward at impossible speeds. She let out a gasp as her mark struggled to close the rift. It pulled her up, up, into the air, shooting pain down her body and a scream from her throat. The rift flickered and arced until it closed and blasted her back to the ground.

Enasal's stomach churned, and her hand twitched with painful spasms.

"This isn't right." She gasped, "The mark-"

Solas crouched by her and took her hand, examining it, "The rifts are more powerful now, more potent. I would imagine they would be harder to close."

"Search the bodies." Leliana ordered, "The last two keys should be on one of them."

Cassandra found the first one on the body of one of the larger soldiers, "Templars." She said, looking at Enasal, "Do you remember when we discussed that they had disappeared?"

Enasal nodded

"Well, here they are."

Blackwall presented the last one, "On an archer, this one."

"Good." Leliana snatched the keys and went to the door, jamming each one in its perspective hole. The keyholes lit up one by one until they had created a shimmering circlet.

"Bull?" Enasal asked.

"Yeah, boss?"

"Kick the door in." 


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A final battle to allow an escape.

  
  


[ Track 15 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUJrUnS5gpI)

Alexius sat on his throne, tired and worn. He was a husk of the man who had played the jovial host last time they had me.

"When heard the fighting." He sighed, "I thought it might be you."

Enasal pointed behind her, "Look at this! Look what you've done to my friends! To Cullen and Josephine - to the world! Why? What could be so important that you kill and hurt…  _ everything?" _

It seemed like a considerable effort for Alexius to lift his head. "For my country, my son… but it means nothing now. My son grows more ill by the day, and the world is in shambles." He took a shuddering breath, "I knew you would appear again. I knew I hadn't destroyed you - my final failure."

Dorian stepped forward, "Was it worth it? Everything you've done to the world - to yourself? You're  _ dying _ , Alexius!"

Alexius lowered his head, "It doesn't matter now. All we can do is wait for the end."

Enasal shook her head, "The world is ending?"

Alexius chuckled - joyless and dry. "The irony that you should appear now, of all the possibilities. All I fought for, all that I betrayed and what I have wrought?" He shook his head, "Ruin and death… that's all that's left."

Quick as a flash, Leliana grabbed the man that stood beside him, her blade at his throat. He didn't fight, just stared forward with eyes that were bloodied and veins tainted with black.

Alexius stumbled up from his phone, "Felix!"

Dorian's eyes widened as he looked at the feeble man, "That's Felix? Maker's breath, Alexius, what have you done?"

"He would have died, Dorian! I saved him." He put his hands up, lowering to his knees in front of Leliana, "Please don't hurt my son. I'll do anything you ask!"

Leliana's face contorted into one of hatred.

"Leliana." Enasal's voice trembled, "I can't believe you're making me be the voice of reason - this is all very backwards." She turned to Alexius, "Hand over the amulet, and Leliana will let him go."

Still on his knees, Alexius bowed lower, "Let him go, I'll give you whatever you want!"

Leliana shook her head in disgust. "I want the world back."

And she slit his throat.

[ Track 10 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHyMYq4aa-8)

"No!" Alexius cried,  _ "No!"  _ He had found his will to fight again, and with a furious scream, cast a spell that threw Leliana back and into a wall.

Enasal was the first to dive towards him, but Alexius threw up a barrier that Enasal unceremoniously bounced off of and landed hard on her side.

Cassandra leapt over her, driving her shield into Alexius and knocking him down. Bull lifted his hammer and was ready to smash Alexius into paste.

But he was gone.

The air crackled and chilled, and the overwhelming smell of sulfur and blood filled the air. High above their heads, a rift crackled into existence, 

"Demons!" Solas shouted.

_ "Vashedan!" _ Bull swung and knocked a frozen demon to the ground, jerking his arm to shake loose the frost it had blown onto his arm. 

Enasal was lifted off the floor and onto her feet, "Mind yourself!" Blackwall shouted before rushing back off.

Arrows flew past her head, and Enasal thanked Mythal that Leliana's aim was true. Enasal kept low and slashed at a nearby demon, this time more wary of the molten flesh. 

As the last demon fell, Enasal dug her heels in and readied to seal the rift. It wasn't nearly as bad as the large one in the great hall, but the pain still tore through her and pulled a pained gasp from her lungs. 

"There he is!" Leliana barked, notching an arrow and shooting into a far corner. Varric hoisted Enasal up and dragged her away from the fighting. She was gasping Dalish words and scrambled to get her feet under her.

"Stay down-"

She managed to free herself from his grasp and hurtled towards Alexius, screaming out something in Dalish before slashing him once across the face and a final stab through the eye when he fell to the ground. 

[ When the Grief Lets You Go ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu_-fvzOMeE)

Enasal was sobbing, a mixture of rage and sorrow sending shakes all down her body. Her knees buckled and she plopped to the ground beside Alexius' body.

"Hurt again." Varric said, pulling Enasal up to look at her shoulder, "Just like old times."

She touched the wound, and her fingers came away bloodied - she hadn't even felt it.

Dorian keeled by Alexius's body, closing the now-dead man's eyes, "He wanted to die, didn't he? He could have put up so much more of a fight." He shook his head, "Poor Alexius. All those lies he told himself… he lost Felix long ago and didn't even notice." He closed his eyes, "Oh, Alexius."

Enasal kneed beside him, “A student and a teacher. I know the bond they share. I know you cared about him. I’m sorry it ended like this." 

Dorian let out a bitter laugh, “You know, once he was a man with whom I compared all others." He looked up at Enasal. "Sad, isn't it?"

He picked up the amulet, examining it. "This is what he used to send us here. I think it's the same one we made in Minrathous. That's a relief. Hopefully, it's the only one." He got up, "Give me an hour to work out the spell he used, and we should be able to open the rift."

Leliana shook her head, "An hour? That's impossible! You must go  _ now!" _

The castle rumbled under her feet, making the group stumble.

Leliana looked up, "The Elder One."

"There's a reason they won." Blackwall said, "Nobody can stand against that man's demons." He looked at Enasal, "Not even you."

Solas walked to Enasal and pulled her up, "You cannot stay here,  _ da'len _ . We'll hold them back -" He put his hand on her head, "You  _ must _ survive."

"Yeah," Varric echoed, "You run. We'll stay. Nothing is going to hurt you here until I'm dead and cold."

Bull looked at Dorain, "Grab her and don't let go. I have a feeling she's going to try to help us."

Enasal shook her head, "No, no, no,  _ no! _ I can't, you can't leave!" She pointed, "We'll all go in together." Her voice cracked, "I won't let you sacrifice yourselves - I'm fighting with you!"

Solas looked at Dorian. "Grab her." 

Dorian listened, grabbing her arm tighter than she expected, and pulling her away.

"Red," Bull said, "If we die, it's up to you."

"No, let me go!" Enasal shouted, struggling against Dorian's grasp, "Varric, Solas!"

Leliana nodded. 

Bull, Blackwall, Varric, and Solas turned and went through the door, shutting it behind them. Enasal was sobbing, pulling against Dorian, who was trying to perform the spell with his free hand. 

Leliana turned to them, "Don't cry, Enasal. We're already dead. The only way we live is if this day never comes." Sher turned to Dorain, "Cast your spell. You have as much time as I have arrows." 

She sighed and closed her eyes, "Though darkness closes, I am shielded by flame." She notched her bow and took aim.

The door splintered and exploded inward, pouring out demons of all kinds. One of them gripped Varric's limp body, and she saw Solas' stomach slashed open by another. Bull was still fighting but was overwhelmed as a dozen demons descended on him. Blackwall was thrown to the floor, grounded into the stones by a pride demon.

He looked at Enasal and cackled.

Enasal unsheathed one of her swords and tried to leap forward, but Dorian had taken Bull's words to heart and held her as tight as he could, "If you move," He shouted, "We all die!" 

Enasal lunged again, tears streaming and body racked with sobs, "They're already dying!" I have to-"

Leliana stumbled back, an arrow in her shoulder. She broke it off, "Andraste, guide me." She reached for an arrow and found her quiver empty. "Maker," She said, "Take me to your side." She switched her grip on the bow and began bashing everything she could with it.

Dorian pulled her towards the now-open rift.

One of the demons grabbed Leliana, dragging a claw across her throat.

Enasal screamed.


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escape from a dark future gives way to meeting a particularly popular king.

[ When the Grief Lets You Go ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu_-fvzOMeE)

Enasal and Dorian were flung out of the rift. Enasal skidded, bounced, and skidded again before coming to a full stop against a far wall. 

Dorian stood, dusted off his robes, and looked at Alexius, "You'll have to do better than that."

Enasal was looking at her friends, all tears. She scrambled up and ran to Varric, grabbing him and sobbing. 

"Whoa, whoa, Seastorm, what happened?"

"You," Enasal started, looking at Bull and Solas, "All of you - everyone! You were dying, and the world was dying, and Leliana was dying, and Cullen and Josephine were dead and-"

Varric pulled her into a hug, "Okay, I have no idea what weird shit you just went through, but I promise we're all alive, and we're here."

Enasal nodded and swallowed deep breaths.

Her breathing finally controlled. She stood and turned to Alexius.

Blades unsheathed, she started walking towards him, tears of relief replaced with tears of fury. She leapt forward, ready to deal a killing blow.  _ "Fen'Harel ma halam!" _

Bull grabbed her out of the air, "Boss, we should take him in - give him a trial. Then we can decide what to do with him."

She screamed wordlessly.

Alexius was on his knees, a hand reaching out to his son, "Felix… I'm sorry."

Felix kneeled down, a sad smile on his face, "It's going to be alright, Father."

Alexius shook his head, "No… you'll die."

Felix nodded, "Everyone dies."

Nearby Inquisition soldiers surrounded Alexius and bound his hands - they were rough and harsh after seeing their Herald in such a state.

"Cover his eyes." Solas said, "Some mages need nothing but a look."

One of the soldiers nodded and pulled his own hood away and shoved it over Alexius's head.

Enasal was with her friends, still sobbing with grief, relief, and anger.

Dorian joined them, patting Enasal awkwardly on the head, "Well! That's over with. Wipe your tears, it's time to discuss agreements with the mages."

[ Final Fantasy VIII - SeeD - Orchestral ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGLJwaRGD9I)

Inquisition forces suddenly backed off as a new set of soldiers marched in. They spaced out, falling into line and standing at attention.

Dorian sighed, "Or not."

A man entered, young but exuding a sort of serious power that came across as odd - as though it didn't come naturally to him.

He looked over the room until his eyes fixed on Fiona. "Grand Enchanter Fiona."

She bowed, keeping her gaze to the floor, "King Alistair!"

"When I granted you sanctuary, I thought it was understood that they would not force my people from their homes."

Fiona tried to explain, "Your Majesty, let me assure you, we never intended  _ any _ of this-"

"You're intentions ceased to matter when my people were threatened." He set his jaw - he wasn't looking at anyone, just boring a hole in the wall with his eyes, "I am rescinding my offer of sanctuary. You and your followers will leave Ferelden at once."

It took Fiona a few seconds to respond. Her mouth opened and closed before she was able to make her plea, "Your Majesty, we have hundreds who need protection! I beg of you - you have always stood by mages just as much as the templars, please don't abandon us!"

The king shook his head and didn't answer.

Enasal wiped her eyes, snuffling as she said, "They could come to the Inquisition."

King Alistair looked down, "What's this then? You're with the Inquisition?"

She didn't want to say she was Herald of Andraste. But given that title, could she assume that she was in charge."

"My name is Enasal - Herald of the Inquisition."

The king couldn't hide his smile, "So it's true then. One of the bards refuses to sing anything other than tales of you."

Enasal nodded and said in false, "I hope they're good tales."

"They're good - catchy too."

Enasal whipped her eyes, "You'll have to forgive me… I forgot what you call human kings."

Alister snorted before catching himself. " 'Your Majesty's is standard."

"Yes, your Majesty." She pointed to her men near the entrance, still holding Alexius captured. "That man took advantage of the mage's fears and forced them to sell themselves to the Tevinter Imperium. When we fought against him, he attempted to kill me and one of my associates, but sent us through time."

She pointed to her eyes, still red and heavy with tears."

"Everyone I loved was either dead or wished they were dead. The soil itself was sick and dying. So I ask if you forgive my less-than-presentable appearance. The Breach is more dangerous than we thought, and it must be destroyed so that what I saw will never come to pass."

"What do you hope to hear from me?"

"Give them a choice - leave Ferelden, or join the Inquisition to help with the Breach."

He considered and nodded, "Fair." He straightened up, "You have a choice. You may leave my lands, starting your journey in the morning. Or you may join the Inquisition and help close the Breach." He looked at Fiona, "This really would be the best offer."

Fiona nodded, "It seems we don't have much of a choice.

Enasal still didn't like Fiona, but it wasn't the teeth-showing fury it had once been. She reached out her hand, "We would be honored to have you fight as allies at the Inquisition's side."

Fiona nodded, "I'll pray the rest of the Inquisition honors your promise."

"The Inquisition doesn't tolerate any form of bigotry. If someone does you wrong, come to me, and I'll deal with it personally."

She was still rubbing and wiping at her eyes. Of all the times to be stuck in a state of tears, it had to be now. "We have to work together." She said, "The Breach threatens all of us."

King Alistair turned to Fiona, "Make your decision. Leave my kingdom or go to the Inquisition."

Fiona looked at him a final time before turning her gaze to the floor and blinking back tears, "We will go with the Inquisition." She turned to Enasal, "You will not regret giving us this chance."

Enasal nodded and shook her head. She then saluted and bowed her head to the King of Ferelden. "Your Majesty, thank you for allowing this. Is there any way Ferelden can help us as well?"

"I will make a call to any who wish to help." He said, "But beyond that, there is little I can do. After taking the brunt of the last Blight, my people understandably don't wish to be forced into another war. But I'm sure you'll get a few volunteers to answer the call.

"Thank you."

Before he left, he leaned over again, "Good work you're doing - take care of them for me. Oh, and see if any of your bards know, 'Storming Eyes.' It's my personal favorite."

Normally, that would be something Enasal would sincerely smile about.

But it wasn't sincere.

[ When the Grief Lets You Go ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu_-fvzOMeE)

Their trek to the outskirts of Redcliffe was hurried. Enasal had told them that they were all welcome to stay in town, but that she wanted to camp outside of town. 

Out of view of the town, Enasal sat down and sobbed. 

Varric kneeled down and put a hand on her back, "This a good spot, Seastorm?"

She nodded and curled up, looking up at them and saying in a soft voice, "I can't live without you all, I just can't." She stood slowly, "If you guys die… I'll die." She shook, "So you all have to promise. Promise me you aren't going to die."

Varric opened his mouth but couldn't summon words. He looked back at the rest of them.

"Enasal." It was Dorian who stepped forward, "None of us can exactly promise we won't die. We're at war, yes? Surely some of us are going to die."

Solas cut him off, "But,  _ da'len _ , we can promise we'll try our best. And you should do the same."

Enasal nodded. That night, they drank to the prospect by the fire, and Enasal sang a single song before turning in for the night. 

Her pack remained as full as possible. All she'd have to do is tie her bedroll to the top, she could do without a tent if she needed to. 

Enasal pulled her bedroll around her as tight as she could, then quietly cried herself to sleep. 


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal makes a plan to leave the Inquisition.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh293FoUc8w ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh293FoUc8w)

Josphine was reading Enasal's letter aloud.

It was a truly awful thing to read.

"Even you were there, my advisors. The Leliana I saw was a twisted form of what she is now, hardened and with so much anger that mercy has been lost on her. She told me Cullen led the last group willing to fight on a final charge against the Elder One while Josephine tried to evacuate the rest. She said they were both killed."

"We need to stop the Breach now. The mages should be a few days behind us, so please prepare a place for them."

"And please, get the arguing out of the way. I am tired. I am afraid. My heart can't take anymore arguing."

Cullen rubbed temples, and Josephine's voice cracked as she read.

Leliana shook her head, "For anyone to go through that… but poor Enasal, she's already been through so much."

"I agree." Cullen said, "We need to do more to remind her that she has our full support."

Leliana had picked up the letter, "'My friends, my advisors'." She shook her head, "The use of 'my'. She's claiming us - I think she cares for us all more than we realize."

"She cares for everyone more than they realize." Cullen said, "I think she feels more strongly than others. I think the sheer thought of friends is such serious business for her."

"I've noticed." Leliana said, "Sometimes she is stuck between two thoughts - part of her wants to run away and never come back, the other never wants to leave."

Cullen fussed with his hair, "We're going to have abominations." He said, "Maker, I wish she hadn't brought them on completely free."

Josephine shook her head, "The agreement has been made. We can't turn them away - that will reflect poorly on the Inquisition, and on Enasal for making the agreement.”

Leliana cut him a look, "Why not let them have their freedom? Until they give us a reason otherwise."

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose, "Fine. But if anyone dies, you'll be sending letters of condolences to their families." He looked up at Josephine, "I'm worried about Enasal - the way she dictated this letter isn’t right. Call for Cassandra and Blackwall to meet them partway. I think seeing that they too are alive and well will make her feel more at ease."

Leliana smiled and patted his shoulder "A lovely, thought Commander. Don't worry Josie over it, I'll take care of it. Then I'll send one of the crows to find Enasal and let them know to stay on the main roads. One of them seems partial to Enasal, she threatens all the others when Enasal is looking for a crow to send a letter with."

.

.

.

Enasal was toned so far down that she might as well be underground.

Cassandra wasn't sure what to expect, but Enasal's sleepy, quiet smile wasn't it.

"Cassandra, Blackwall?" Tears gathered at her eyelids, "It's good to see you, I knew you were alive, but it's a nice gesture."

Cassandra narrowed her eyes, "Are you alright?"

Enasal looked away and said, "I'm fine." Before wandering off.

Cassandra looked at Varric, "Is she alright?"

"Nope." Varric said, "But she won't talk, I've tried."

"As have I," Solas said quietly, "We're trying not to force it. All we know is what she sent in a letter to Haven."

Cassandra caught up with Enasal, and gestured to Blackwall, "The others are worried, Enasal. Parts of your letter concerned your advisors. They asked that I come to help put your mind at ease."

Enasal nodded in the same too-softly way she had before, "Thank you."

She knew she was in trouble.

This wasn't how she planned it.

Getting past a group of four would be hard enough, all depended on who kept watch. But the addition of two more?

It was time to do it, muster her courage and follow-through with her plan.

She was one of the first to go to bed, but she pretended to sleep. When Cassandra came into the tent and put down her bedroll, Enasal didn't move. She had missed having someone in the tent with her, but it would make things more difficult. 

She waited for everyone else to be asleep.

  
  


[ Farewell Life ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eD0XEH3qVCk)

"Enasal, that is enough!" Solas shouted.

She yelled something in Dalish, trying to grab her pack off the ground.

"Enasal -  _ Enasal,  _ stop!" 

She moved to hit him, but Solas grabbed her wrists, "You cannot leave, you-"

"Let me  _ go! I'm leaving!"  _ She dissolved into Dalish as she dug her heels in, trying to stop her teacher from physically dragging her back to the camp. However, despite his slim frame, it appeared Solas was strong, as he managed to keep a grasp on Enasal's wrists as she tried to back away. Her knees buckled, and she sank to the ground, sobbing into the earth.

Varric shoved Solas away, and kneeled by Enasal, "What the hell is this?"

"She speaks of leaving the Inquisition." Solas said, "I am reminding her that she cannot."

"It's okay, Seastorm-"

"I don't want this!" She cried, "Varric, I can't- I can't do it anymore! If I do something stupid and you die-"

He patted her back, "Hey, it's okay, try to breath - just cry and breath."

"I want to go home!" She shouted, "I don't want to be here anymore, I just want to go home to my sister!"

"No, Seastorm, you don't want that. Not back to your clan."

By then, the rest of the group was awake. Cassandra was the first to speak out, "Why is everyone screaming?!"

"Enasal wishes to leave the Inquisition." Solas said, clearly exasperated.

"What?" Cassandra said, "She can't do that!"

Varric looked up at her, "Yes, Seeker, she  _ can _ ." He turned back to Enasal, "It's okay. If you want to leave, we'll leave. Not to your clan, we'll find something better. Keep breathing, we can leave in the morning."

"The world is at stake, Varric!" Cassandra shouted, "This whole idea is-"

"Shut up!" Varric spat, "I've stood by and watched people like her get torn apart by people like you - all over some idea that they can save something! She's not your prisoner, you can't keep her here!"

Enasal's breaths had slowed, but she still whimpered, "I want to leave." 

"I know, Seastorm." He said, "But right now, you need to sleep. If you wake up in the morning and still feel the same, we'll go." He felt her nod against his chest. "Okay." He looked at Cassandra - there would be no way Enasal would be willing to share a tent with her that night.

"Get your bedroll." Varric said with forced cheer, "We'll sleep under the stars, you like that, right? We'll build up the fire and get some extra blankets" He stood and looked at the group, "Show's over. Go back to sleep."

Dorain looked at Cassandra, "So, this whole Inquisition thing - all done?"

"Shut up." She said, going into her tent and tossing Enasal's bedroll out.

"Rude." Varric said, hoping it'd get a smile out of Enasal.

She kept her eyes to the ground.

  
  


[ Coffee Music and Sunshine (Elizabeth) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvPtRxeWJXc)

When the morning light woke Varric, Enasal was staring into the remains of the fire, holding her knees to her chest."

"Well, Seastorm?" He yawned, pulling his hair back to get it out of his eyes, "What'd you decide?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

"Do you want to hear what I think?"

Enasal nodded.

"Well, first, you know you  _ can _ leave, right? Whether or not you should is up to you, but you  _ can _ . Do you understand that?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"That being said," Varric continued, "There is a hole in the sky, and you're the only one who can close it. Now, if you still want to leave, I'll keep my promise and we'll leave. But why not stay until the Breach is closed?" He smiled, "Then we can take our leave." He started rolling up his bedroll, "Or we can stay on as long as you like. It's all up to you."

Enasal turned her head away from him, "I'm just… scared. If I don't close the Breach… what I saw might happen. What if I can't do it? And I'm  _ tired _ ." Her shoulders slumped, "I'm so tired. I feel like I'm being pulled all different ways. Everyone has things they need me to do and I don't think I can keep up. And sometimes," She had uncurled and instead hugged herself, "Sometimes there are just too many eyes on me. Too many people watching and staring. Sometimes I don't mind… but sometimes it really scares me."

"I'd imagine." He said, "I know a woman who got tired of being looked at all the time. Like you, she was trying to keep things together."

He clapped his hands, "So, what'd you say? What are we doing - because I'm with you all the way."

"Where would we even go?"

"I got a friend nearby we could call on. She'll let us hide with her."

Enasal nodded.

"I want to close the Breach." She said.

Varric shouted, "That's my girl!" Jolting the rest of the campsite awake. Head stuck out of tents, and Varric made ready to address the camp, "Everyone dressed and up! We have an announcement." Solas was the last to stumble out, still half-asleep and muttering under his breath.

"We talked about it." Varric said, "And we've decided to stay with the Inquisition."

Enasal nodded, "At least until we've sealed the Breach."

Varric looked at Cassandra, "But she knows she can leave at any time."

The relief was palpable.

Enasal was focused on her fingernails, "I'm sorry for all that. After seeing…all that. I thought... I just started thinking about whether or not this is something I could do. I got scared, and I gave up." She looked up, "I'm sorry, _ir abelas_."

"Don't apologize, Seastorm." Said Varric, "I get that feeling. I'm sure some of our other friends could relate as well." He looked at Enasal, "Well, Seastorm, ready to finish breaking down camp and heading out?"

For the first time since Redcliffe, her smile was genuine.

  
  
  
  


[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIJAH4QBZZ8 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIJAH4QBZZ8)

"So, Chuckles, ever thought you might want to apologize to Seastorm?"

"Why apologize?" Solas asked, staring determinedly ahead, "Everything is fine."

"You two haven't said a word to each other all day, and last time she caught your eye, your face made her shrivel up. I don't think that qualifies as fine."

"Enasal and I disagreed." Solas said, "The disagreement is over, we can move on."

"You  _ haven't  _ moved on." Varric insisted, "She looks like she's about to cry when she looks at you, and you're just plain trying not to look at her. _ "  _ He shook his head, "She idolizes you, and all the disapproving looks are messing with her."

Solas glared, "I will not apologize for insisting she stay with the Inquisition."

"You're not apologizing for that, you're apologizing for acting like an ass about it." Varric shook his head, "I've seen you yank her behind you in a fight, don't sit and act like you don't care about her."

Enasal had heard the bickering and slowed to a stop. When they caught up with her, she turned her horse to walk alongside them, her gaze lowered. " _ Ir abelas, Dirthalen." _

Varric had his hands over his face, "No, no,  _ no _ , Seastorm, you don't apologize to him, he should apologize to you!"

"Solas," She started, then stopped. She stared at Solas for a few seconds before repeating, "Solas… your name is Solas!" She suddenly laughed, "Your mother looked at you and said, 'Yes, I will name this baby _ Solas.'" _

"Well, there it is." Varric said, "You broke her."

"No, you don't understand." Enasal insisted, "Look, 'solas' isn't just a name, it's a Dalish word - just like my name." She grinned and looked at her teacher from the side, "It means pride. His name is Pride." She looked at the reins in her hand, smiling, "It's fine, Solas. I accept your apology.

Solas didn't argue that he hadn't apologized, neither did he say he did.

But Enasal knew.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal is obviously Cook's favorite person.  
> Too bad she has to relive the dark timeline when she speaks to her advisors.

[ My Home, Sweet Home / Final Fantasy Ⅴ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53Ql1FOtE1o)

Enasal felt relief at seeing her advisors. Leliana seemed back to her warm self. Cullen and Josephine were both alive and smiling at her.

As he often did, Cullen lifted her off her horse, "It's good to see you." He said, "I'm sorry it went so badly."

Enasal nodded, her grip on his arms tight, "There's nothing I can do to really describe what I saw. My letter wasn't enough."

Cullen nodded, "It's over now, we'll make sure it never happens." He looked back at Josephine and Leliana, "You know you can talk to us? Let us know if you're tired or worried - we're here to support you."

Enasal nodded, letting him go to wipe her eyes.

"Sorry." She started, "Once I start - I've been crying since Redcliffe. I can't seem to stop."

"You're exhausted." He said. We have a few more days before the mages get here, and then we'll need time to organize - not to mention getting the templars and the mages to stop fighting each other."

He reminded himself that he promised he wouldn't say anything about that.

"You'll have nearly a week to rest up - I'll push for a whole week. The Breach isn't going anywhere and I don't think a few extra days will matter." He chucked and wiped a tear from her cheek, "But you have to promise not to drown us all."

Enasal laughed and nodded.

Varric appeared and clapped Enasal on the back, "Hungry? Of course you are, you're always hungry." He pointed to the tavern, "Let's get some food." 

She nodded to Varric.

"Enasal." Cullen said, "When you're finished, come see us in the war room. I know you don't want to talk about it, but we need to know what you saw - as you said, your letter wasn't enough. I'm sorry."

She sighed, "I know. Don't worry, I've been preparing myself." She wiped her eyes again before smiling, "I might need a bucket if you don't want me drowning anyone."

He chuckled and smirk-smiled before turning to join Leliana and Josephine up to the war room

"Friendly, aren't we?" Dorian asked, quite pleased with his observation.

His words flew right over Enasal's head, "Yes, he's helped me a lot since I've come here."

Bull snorted.

When they entered the tavern, they were greeted with the usual shouts, and the cook popped her head out to see the commotion. "Ah! The woman who will eat us out of house and home. Your people, too, never noticed how much you all eat 'till I started watching one of you."

Enasal grinned.

When they received their food, Enasal's plate had a small tart on it, "For all you're doing, love. I've heard you fancy apples."

"We don't get free tarts?" Varric asked, grinning.

"The rest of you lot have to pay if you want anything extra."

Enasal started to break pieces of the tart off to share, and the cook sighed, "You lot are lucky she's a wee lamb." She returned and plopped another tart onto Enasal's plate. "You've shared enough for the day, this one's all yours."

Solas leaned towards Dorian, "I have a request. You seem to be a well-trained mage, and we will soon have First Enchanter Vivienne of Orlais as well. I was wondering if perhaps you'd be willing to run a few experiments with me."

"Finally, some  _ work _ !" Dorian said, "I do enjoy experiments."

"Enasal has some odd reactions to spells, I plan to examine them and see if we can understand how and why she reacts so differently."

"I noticed that!" Dorian said, "When we were in the alternate timeline, she brought it up. She said the rifts smell like sulfur and blood, and she said the red lyrium smelled of rot. Poor thing was pale."

Across the tavern, Bull let out a shout of "Krem!" before scoping the man up and holding him as this hip so that his arms and legs hung on either side of Bull's arm. Krem's bored expression showed that this happened relatively often.

"They're all fine, chief." He said, "The Commander had us to help some refugees nearby - gave us plenty to keep us occupied."

"Good, bored Chargers are bad Chargers."

"Please put me down, Chief."

"Hello, Krem!" Enasal said, bending down to look at him, "Good to see you alive and well."

Kren nodded and squirmed in Bull's grip, "You too, En."

Enasal turned her attention to Dorian, "I have to go speak to my advisors." She looked away from him, "I have to talk about what we saw. They'll probably want to talk to you as well - you saw it too."

Dorian shook his head, "Oh, don't look like that now, you shrink when you slouch your shoulders like that." He plucked the tart of her plate, "Eat this on your way up, get rid of that 'I-am-so-very-sad' look on your face."

She smiled weakly.

[ "Empty Reflections (Slow Version)" ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgq4SPKHlyI)

As opposed to the usual war table they stood around, another table had been pulled in with chairs around it. Enasal lowered herself into one and stared at her advisors. 

"I'm sorry to put you through this." Josephine said, "But we all have questions about this 'dark future' you experienced." She put a cup of tea in front of her, doing the same for the other three.

"Please." Leliana said, "Start from the beginning."

Enasal nodded, fidgeting with the stirring spoon. "I woke up in the dungeons of Redcliffe castle. They were enormous. Hundreds of cells at the very least."

Leliana frowned, "When we snuck in with the Hero of Ferelden, there were only eight."

"How did they build up so much within a year?" Josephine asked.

Enasal was obsessively stirring her tea, "Demons, I guess… or the templars." She turned her head away from Cullen, staring at the opposite wall, "There were templars. They'd been corrupted by red lyrium. It was growing out of them… and the way they fought. They had no regard for their own lives, just destroying ours."

"Your letter described that the area was strange." Leliana pressed.

Enasal nodded, "Everything was kind of faded - colors were kind of dull but… almost a greenish hue to everything. Solas - the one from then - said it was because the veil was so thin."

Enasal wiped her eyes, already thoroughly irritated at herself, "And the red lyrium, it grew all over, like moss. It gathered around wounds." She still stared at her tea instead of looking at any of them. "My friends were injured -all of them. At first, I thought they were scabs, but… it was red lyrium that had grown from and around the injury." A few tears dropped into her tea, "They said it was red lyrium poisoning them. It was in their eyes, made them all red. Blackwall had blood around his eyes, so I think it might make people bleed from the eyes. And it rose off of them like fog - all bloody and misty."

She took a shattering breath, "And everyone was so brave. They had spent a year being tortured and beaten. The Elder One was convinced that I was hiding somewhere and that they knew where I was. Leliana and Varric got the worst of it."

She gritted her teeth and shook her head, "The others said that they were all held together, that Varric would tell stories to keep everyone's spirits up. They said he'd goad the guards if they were about to take someone else. Even after they separated everyone, he still drew attention to himself, so everyone else had less of a chance catching the ire of the guards."

"They were all so brave -  _ all _ of you were brave." Her knuckles had turned white as she gripped her teacup. "I don't know if I could ever be that brave."

"You've walked through the fade." Cullen said, "When you first arrived at Haven, you killed a massive amount of demons despite how terrified you told me you were. Then, you see all that you saw? If you weren't brave, you wouldn't still be here."

Enasal lowered her head, "I almost ran." 

Leliana nodded, "We read Cassandra's report - but you came back."

She made a noncommittal noise.

Josephine was looking at her letter. "You said there were more rifts?"

Enasal nodded, "They were everywhere. And the Breach… it took up so much of the sky." 

Leliana shared a glance with Cullen, "So it grew?"

Enasal nodded. 

"So, how do we intend to close the Breach?" Josephine asked, "The mages will be arriving any day now. How will we prepare?"

Cullen got up and went to the war table, referencing a map of Haven. "We'll need to send scouts to check for demons."

"My people can take out any stragglers," Leliana said, "But if there are too many, we'll need your soldiers."

"And you'll have them."

Josephine joined them, "When the way is clear, we can send Enasal and the mages in."

"Myself and the other ex-templars." Cullen said, "I want to be there, just in case."

Enasal remained at the table, staring into her tea. Her vision was blurred with tears and exhaustion. It had been easy to stay awake and bright at the tavern, with its music and loud patrons, but it was quiet here. Her advisors spoke back and forth, focused on a single mission, so the time for bickering had passed. They were placing markers around the map, but Enasal didn't know which were which. She wondered vaguely if she had her own.

Enasal breathed in the tea - lavender and honey.

She took a few sips.

The smell reminded her of her grandmother. She made lavender tea.

Her head felt too heavy for her shoulders, so she laid her head in her arms, trying to pay attention to the mission - after all, she would be highly involved.

With the smell of tea and her advisor's voices floating in the hair, her eyes fluttered shut.

[ "Where I Belong"  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_EueRAHVGE)

"Enasal."

The sudden intake of breath when someone is awoken.

"Enasal, wake up."

She sat up, rubbing her eyes and muttering, "That sounds good, we'll do that."

Cullen chuckled, "Enasal, the meeting is over."

She groaned and put her head back on the table, "I'm so sorry - I just-"

"Don't apologize." He said, "It's late, I'll walk you to your room."

Enasal nodded, yawning and stretching before following out of the war room.

"What time is it?" She asked.

"A little past two." He said, "Battle strategy takes some time." He yawned, "We didn't even get to call… Dorian, right?"

Enasal nodded.

"We didn't even have a chance to call him in to tell us about his experience." 

Enasal yawned.

"Your opinion on him?"

She sighed, "I like him. But I was pretty mean to him at first."

"You?" Cullen laughed, "I don't believe it."

Enasal slowed to a stop, "No, no, I was." She sighed, "I think I kind of hated him. He's from Tevinter, and my people have and still are enslaved by them every day." She hugged herself, "I felt myself unable to trust him - I was fully prepared for him to grab me in the night and take me to Tevinter as a house slave." She shuddered, "Then Varric reminded me that I was doing to Dorian what other people have made to me."

She shook her head, "I assumed he was a slaver, just because he's from Tevinter. Just like people call me a knife-ear savage." Her eyes flickered to him before looking away again, "I didn't handle any of that mission very well."

"Cassandra's report said you lost your temper."

Enasal turned to him, but kept her eyes over her shoulder, "I didn't just lose my temper. I spat in his face. I put my daggers on the table, my hands on the hilts, and I looked him dead in the eye and told him I was going to stab him through the eyes." 

Cullen nodded, "That...  _ is _ a very intense reaction - but not savage. You-" He yawned, "You had a reason to be upset. Savages don't have a reason." 

"It was an overreaction in the worst of ways." She said.

"It was." Cullen admitted, "But when met by the right thing, everyone can overreact in the worst possible way." He stopped and bowed his head, "Goodnight, Enasal. We can talk about this more tomorrow."

She finally looked up at him, "Goodnight, Cullen." Then over her shoulder again, "I'm really glad you're alive. When Le- the other Leliana told me how you died - it really… what's the phrase? Made my heart twist up?" She laughed and glanced back at him, "I feel like that's not right, but I think it works."

He tried to hide a smirk - he wasn't really succeeding, "I'm glad you're happy that I didn't die in a suicidal charge."

"Leliana - the other one - said you used my name as the rallying cry." 

"Oh," He rubbed the back of his neck.

"I know you didn't actually ever do that, but thank you anyway. It was sweet."

He chuckled, "Thank you?"

Enasal looked up at him again, "Goodnight again, Cullen."

"Goodnight again, Enasal." 


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal gets some downtime with her friends.

[ Snowstorm Blizzard Wind  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vplX-qr4AIE)

“It was just plain awful.” Enasal said to Krem, “Everyone was dead or wished they were dead.” She pulled up her hood to shelter herself from the first flakes of snow that had started to fall. 

“And the Chief thought he could’ve stopped it by just holding on to you, huh? Typical.”

Enasal frowned, “Typical?”

“The Chief’s always putting everyone before himself. Lost his eye for me.”

“Really?”

Krem nodded, “A group had me pinned in a tavern and set to make an example of me - they said for desertion. Bull put himself between me and a flail - plucked his eye right out. Then the bastard pulled me to my feet and asked if I wanted a job.” 

He laughed, “And here I am.”

Enasal grinned, “And here you are, walking around with a member of the Inquisition.”

“You  _ are _ the Inquisition, En.” He said, “Try your earmuffs.”

Enasal pulled the slips of fabric over her ears and buttoned them to her hood.

Her ears were warm.

“You’re a genius, Krem.” She shook her head, testing how well they’d say on.

Nice and snug.

“It helps when you have a lot of people with pointy ears complaining.” He touched his own ear, “Don’t mind it though, there’s something miserable about ears getting cold.”

“Still, thanks for thinking of me. It’s really easy for people to forget how much colder elves get than you do. I whine about it here, because it’s a safe place to complain, but back with my clan.” She shook her head, “You didn’t complain about the cold. You just added layers and kept your mouth shut.” 

“All Dalish like that?”

Enasal shrugged, “I only really know my own. And in an odd, kind of nasty way, I don’t have any desire to know anymore. I know it’s wrong.” She said, “Varric tries to keep me straight, reminds me that I can’t base feelings on a whole group because of just a part of it. But it do.”

“Your clan was horrible to you.” Krem said, “I had some people be pretty horrible to me. I know it can be hard. Sometimes, I feel the same about soldiers outside the Chargers. I’ll work with them, but sometimes I get a shiver. It’s hard to not let fear put a stain on your reasoning.”

Enasal was quiet, “Does that make me a bad person?”

“No.” Krem said, “It only makes you bad if you don’t care.” 

“I keep feeling like I’m on the edge of really messing up.” Enasal said.

“Well, you’re not.” He jerked his head toward Haven, “If you’re done testing your earmuffs, let’s head back. I’m not one to complain about the cold on duty, but I’m off and would rather be warm.”

[ D&D Crowded Tavern With Music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSWHIOTou7I)

Enasal was overjoyed when Varric passed her a mug full to the brim with someone warm spiced. She breathed it in, thanking him before taking a sip.

“There you two are!” Bull said, calling for a few drinks, “Thought I’d have to go see if you’d run off to the Chantry to find Mother Giselle.”

Enasal coughed into her mug.

“Shut up, Chief.” Krem said, “It’s more like having a weird sister.”

Bull elbowed Krem, nearly knocking him down, “Too bad, you’d be cute together.”

“No we wouldn’t,” Enasal teased, “I like tall men.”

Krem grinned, “Low blow.”

“Low blows are all Seastorm can do.” Varric laughed.

Enasal attempted to kick him under the table, “You’re mean today!”

“I happen to be showing my affection.” He said, pulling out some cards, “Wicked Grace? A nice horah before we seal the Beach?”

“I have absolutely no money.” Said Enasal, “I alway lose.”

The rest were excited for the game, so Varric promised to buy Enasal plenty of drinks with all the money she had lost to him. Solas joined them, opting out of the game and instead choosing to sit beside Enasal and observe.

“Not one for cards?” He asked.

Enasal laughed, “Not Wicked Grace - I can’t keep track of it and always lose all my money.”

“There are other games, Diamondback for one. Blackwall showed me, and you might enjoy it.”

“I'd rather just watch." She grinned, "It's more fun to watch  _ other  _ people lose money."

He nodded to her mug, a hint of a smile on his face, "Mind yourself, you don't hold your drink well."

Enasal laughed and dramatically took a large gulp from her mug.

Solas shook his head and chuckled, "You spend too much time with Varric." He performed their usual goodbye, touching his forehead and speaking in Elven, and she in Dalish. He said a quick goodbye to the others before leaving.

"My, my, Enasal." Dorian said, scooping up the winning from the previous hand, "Friendly with yet another man."

"He's my teacher." Enasal said, still missing the innuendo.

Varric patted her on the head. "Seastorm, he's suggesting you have a thing for Chuckles."

"A… thing?"

"Romantic interest."

Enasal balked and shook her head, "He is my  _ teacher _ , Dorian! A teacher and a student - never!"

“What  _ is _ that whole teacher-student thing you talk about?” Bull asked, “I hate to admit I’ve never heard of that sort of dynamic with elves.”

Enasal was quiet, trying to arrange her thoughts in Common, “My clan always did, and Solas said it was practiced where he’s from.” Enasal put her hand out, “When you turn fourteen or so, you are paired with someone older and more wise than you.” She held out her opposite hand, looked down at the table, “The Keeper can’t teach everyone everything. That’s where a teacher comes in. You spend a lot of time with your teacher and they teach you our history, the Common language, reading, writing, or anything else that you might have missed out on.” She put her hands together, “A teacher and a student are thus for life. It’s a bond that is only severed through death.”

She frowned, “As all of you could imagine, I was never paired with a teacher. I think it was around the week after I was in Haven that I asked Solas about his teacher. He seemed surprised when I asked - he said he thought the Dailish didn’t practice it. We talked for a while, and he said he didn't have a student, so he could be my teacher.”

She nodded her head, “The weight of that… I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s…taken very seriously.” She smiled, “That was the first time I felt like I really belonged somewhere. That I was accepted as an actual elf and not some castoff.”

“Ah, so a marriage without the sex?” Varric joked.

Enasal leaned towards Varric and said to the group, “He’s got one song, two angels, and two knights.”

“Betrayed!” He laughed, laying out his cards.

Enasal looked at Dorian, “But seriously, no, nothing like that.

“It all just seems…” He wiggled his fingers, “Touchy.”

“The goodbye?” Enasal asked, “Everyone in my clan did that. I wonder if he was part of my clan at one point - maybe his parents or grandparents? There are some similar things that the other clans don’t do.” She shrugged, “Or maybe there was a split further back.”

The cards were reshuffled and dealt, and everyone turned their attention back to drink and the game at hand. Krem and Enasal were tossing bronze pennies across the table, Krem going back to looking at his cards and Enasal to drinking when they were caught. 

After Bull had threatened to knock their heads together, Enasal stood up and stretched. “I should go anyway. I promised Solas I wouldn’t stay too late - I’m practicing sleeping and staying aware in the fade.”

Bull shivered, “Yeah, you go do that, boss. Don’t bring anything back with you.”


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal takes some time before the battle to explore the fade with Solas and attend a briefing meeting with her advisers.   
> Staying with the Inquisition is now a sure thing.

[ Fireflies in the Woods  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nziK7zv8qDI)

Enasal reached out, allowing a spherical spirit to land in her hand.

"You've improved." Solas said with an approving nod. "Last time the spirits ignored you - and now it seems they flock to you."

It glowed and pulsed with a soft warmth. 

"It's... Curiosity?" She asked, then nodded towards the circle of spirits around them, "All of them?"

Solas nodded, "Excellent observation,  _ da'len _ ."

Enasal put her hand back out to release the spirit, but it fluttered down to her shoulder instead, where it settled against her neck. Without thinking, she reached up and stroked the spirit, unaware of how bizarre such behavior was.

"I see why you like it here." She said, "It's quiet. It's peaceful."

"Here, yes. But never come here alone,  _ da'len _ ." He said, "The Fade-"

"Is as beautiful and serene as it is wild and dangerous." She finished, "I remember." She leaned her head and nuzzled the spirit on her shoulder. "Solas? Are you ready for tomorrow?"

"Sealing the Breach?" He asked, "I believe the question is: are you ready?"

She scooped the spirit off her shoulder and gently released it back into the air, "I'm scared."

"Care to elaborate?" 

"Well, there's dying, that's a big fear."

Solas laughed.

"And that just leaves the fear of… not doing it." She reached up to the twinkling green sky of the Fade with her marked hand. "Leliana's people do their jobs, Cullen's soldiers do theirs, all the mages and all my friends do everything they're supposed to do..." 

One of the twinkles descended, followed by a few others. They congregated around her, bobbing slightly, "And if I fail." She said, "The Breach will still be there, and this world will be doomed."

"Death and failure." Solas said, "Those are deep fears."

Enasal nodded, but the twinkling spirits had started to tap against her hair, pulling her out of her bad mood.

"What are they  _ doing?"  _ She asked.

"Spirits of Compassion." Solas said, "I'm sure they sensed your unease and came to the rescue, as they do."

"They…" She reached up to cup one in her hands, "They're warm, too. Are all spirits warm?"

"To those who can tell." Solas said, "Spirits have a way of picking and choosing who they will show themselves to - or hold, in the present case."

"They really are alive." She said, smiling at the twinkling light in her hand, "Truly - just like us." She looked back at him, "I wish we could know more about them."

"The more time you spend in the Fade, the more you'll learn. Each spirit is unique, you mustn't forget that. Just because you meet a spirit of Hope, doesn't not mean that they will be anything like other Hopes you meet."

He looked over at her, "You need to meet the others in the war room soon,  _ da'len _ ."

"I know." She said softly, "But just a little longer?"

Solas nodded, "Certainly."

Enasal sang quietly to the twinkling spirits around her, low enough that Solas only caught a word here and there, but she wasn't singing for him. 

She seemed quite happy in the Fade, and its denizens seemed happy with her.

"Say goodbye,  _ da'len _ ." He said.

" _ Dareth shiral _ ." She whispered, leading them upward to the skies with her arms. She watched them go before looking at Solas, "Thank you,  _ dirthalen. _ I needed this."

"I know you did, Enasal. Now wake up."

Enasal rolled over in bed, very much upset at the sun for being up. The air was alive with magic as mages practiced and prepared for the day. It was almost overwhelming. 

[ Final Fantasy VIII - SeeD [HQ] ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhxlwQFiGyA)

It was colder than usual, and Enasal and wrapped up in as much fabric as she could. The fires in the Chantry were built as high as they safely could go, and everyone was just as bundled up as possible.

"Of all the days for a cold spike." Cullen was muttering when Enasal came in.

Enasal pulled her cloak tighter around her, "Be glad you're not an elf." 

"There's tea on the side table - have some."

She poured four cups and offered one to Cullen, who nodded before returning his gaze back to the map.

Leliana and Josephine came in next, equally irritated by the cold morning.

Cullen looked at them, "Are the mages ready?"

"Yes," Leliana said, "They're just waiting for orders. My people as well."

"Leliana's scouts will go ahead," Cullen said, "Taking out any stray demons they can. If they become overwhelmed, they'll retreat, and my soldiers will cut a path." He looked at Enasal, "Enasal, you'll be with myself and the ex-templars. The mages will be behind us. I want you in between the groups. That will be the safest place for you.

"Shouldn't I be in the front with you?" Enasal asked, "You know I can fight."

He shook his head, "Too risky. Once we've closed the Breach, you can fight demons all you like, but your safety is the first priority right now."

Josephine nodded, "Yes, what would we do if you were killed on the way to the Breach?"

Enasal sighed but relented.

"When we arrive at the Breach," Cullen continued, "The mages will stand ready to help you seal the it. By Andaste's mercy, none of them will do something stupid."

"Cullen!" Josephine scolded.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Right, I know, I'm sorry."

Enasal cocked her head to the side, but decided to let it lie.

Leliana took over. "With their magic at your back, you should be able to seal the Breach.

"And… If I can't?"

"You will." Cullen said. "You're Andraste's chosen, remember?"

Enasal nodded vaguely.

"We'll have the best healing mages on standby." He assured, "These aren't the rifts you've sealed - we don't know how you'll be affected."

"Do you have any questions, Enasal?" Leliana asked.

She shook her head, "I think I got it."

"Good." Said Leliana with a smile, "I'll go prepare my people." She turned to Josephine, "Josie, make sure the civilians stay inside - we don't know how this will end."

"Of course." Josephine said.

"I'll go ready my soldiers." Cullen said, looking at Enasal, "Walk with me?"

[ "Where I Belong"  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_EueRAHVGE)

As they headed toward the practice field, Cullen seemed preoccupied.

"Everything alright?"

Cullen frowned, "I heard… you might leave the Inquisition after the Breach is sealed."

"Oh…" Enasal said, "That."

"Are you really?"

Enasal shrugged, "I don't know."

"There'll be much to do, even after the Breach is sealed." He said, "And what of your friends?"

"I'm just really scared. If I'm not needed anymore -"

"You are needed." Cullen insisted, "The Inquisition is nothing without you, even if you never fight another battle, people  _ like _ you. You'd be thoroughly missed - I know of a number of people who would dive into the Void for you."

Enasal considered, "But what if something happens to anyone?"

"What if you and Varric leave the Inquisition and he topples off a cliff?" He asked, "There's always going to be a risk that something happens to someone, but you can't let that dictate your life."

Enasal's stormy-gray eyes were trained somewhere in the distance. 

"Your friends, the soldiers, Leliana's people. They'd miss you."

She glanced at him, "You think so?"

"I would."

"You'd miss me?"

He nodded, "I would."

Enasal smiled, "I think… I was going to end up staying and seeing all this through." Her eyes flicked towards him before returning to the ground, "But… now I know I'll stay."

Cullen smiled - Enasal had no trouble telling that it was a genuine smile. She realized it was a bit lopsided, one corner coming up higher than the other. But he wasn't smirking at all.

"I'm glad. Go get some rest, we'll head toward the Breach in a few hours."

On impulse, Enasal hugged him tight. She held for a second before pulling away, eyes on the ground, "Thank you, Cullen. You're a good person."

He opened his mouth to reply but decided to say something else, "I...thank you, Enasal." He backed up the last few steps towards the practice field and saluted.

Enasal smiled and waved.


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A victory and relief.  
> Amidst the celebration, the world takes a dark turn for the Inquisition.

[ Battle In The North ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEQThgfXT30)

Very few demons had fought them on their way to the Breach. Leliana's scouts had been able to take down the few they encountered, leaving the path clear for the rest. Enasal remained between the soldiers and mages as instructed - until she saw the Breach.

Like a static shock, Enasal's left hand snapped closed before it relaxed again. Enasal hissed in pain and started speeding up, overtaking the first group of soldiers. Half-way through the soldiers, her hand flared again, this time causing her fingers to spasm. By the time she caught up with Cullen, she was cradling her hand, completely seized into a fist.

"Cullen." She panted.

He looked down, and his eyes widened at the sight of her hand, fully green and glowing.

"It hurts." Enasal said, "And it's just going to just keep getting worse the closer we get. Can we go any faster?"

Cullen turned around and shouted, "Inquisition! Double-time!"

Enasal dashed ahead, deciding that she'd rather get the journey over with - at least then she'll know how much pain she's in for.

Solas caught up with her first, pulling her hand towards him, examining it with a heavily creased brow.

"This isn't right."

"We can't stop!" Enasal said, "We have to seal it!"

Solas gritted his teeth and turned towards the arriving mages, "Mages! Focus past Enasal - let her will draw from you!"

Blood and sulfur mixed with the scent of rain as the two magics collided. Enasal lifted her clenched fist and it released. For an instant, she felt the magic of the mages move through her body and out of her hand, which pulled on the rift with such force that Enasal was yanked from the ground.

She focused on the magic and pushed it, pushed it through her hand and into the rift, telling it, ordering it,  _ willing _ it to close.

.

[ Relief  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQRgO2gC7LI)

And it did.

With a blinding flash and a final gust of sulfur and blood, the Breach shrunk into itself, returning to oblivion. 

Enasal was not thrown back. As if rewarding her for a job well done, she was lowered to the ground, gently back onto her feet.

"Thank you." She whispered, then hoped nobody had heard.

Cheers erupted, and Enasal was surrounded by her friends and Inquisition soldiers and mages.

Bull brought Enasal back to Haven on one shoulder, followed by celebrating soldiers and mages. Haven had already seen the Breach disappearing from the sky, and where already celebrating when they returned.

As soon as she could get away, Enasal found a high, quiet place to watch the proceedings. 

"Enasal!"

She looked between her dangling feet.

Cassandra waved her down, "Enasal, come! You should share in this victory."

Enasal debated declining the offer, but decided that she needed to spend more time around Cassandra anyway. She leapt down from her perch, and Cassandra barely rolled her eyes. "Your teacher confirms the heavens are scarred but calm. The Breach is officially sealed."

Cassandra seemed optimistic, "We've reports of lingering rifts, and more questions remain, but this is a victory. The bards sing more songs for you every day."

Enasal bounced on her toes and gave a nervous laugh, her eyes on the ground, "It was the mark, it does all the work."

"But they do not sing of your mark - they sing of you."

Enasal gave a couple of head-tilts and shrugged. "Cullen said there'd still be a lot of things to do after we sealed the Breach."

Cassandra nodded, "The Inquisition needs a new focus."

"Seastorm!" Varric grabbed her into a bear hug, managing to lift her feet off the ground, "That's my girl!" 

Enasal grinned, blushing from the praise.

"You did well,  _ da'len _ ." Solas said, a hand on her head.

Enasal was positively beaming.

Varric gestured for her to follow him, "Everyones in the tavern - and I will warn you, they are planning on having the bard play one of the songs about you while they all scream the lyrics at you." 

Enasal nodded, "Cassandra, come with us?"

Cassandra considered for a second before smiling and starting towards the tavern.

[ Xenosaga III OST - The Battle of your soul ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFo97Zg0nOQ)

"Forces approaching!" Cullen's voice cut through the relief like a knife, "To arms!"

Cassandra and Enasal shared a glance before nodding.

"I'll get the others!" Enasal said, while Cassandra took off towards the gates.

Enasal burst into the tavern and let out the loudest whistle she could muster, effectively quieting the tavern. "We're under attack! If you can fight, come to the gates, if not, head to the Chantry!"

She drew her blades and ran towards the group, where her advisors and Cassandra were gathered.

Cullen pointed upward, "One watchguard reporting." He said, "It's a massive force, the bulk of it is moving over the mountain."

Josephine looked at the march with squinted eyes. "Under what banner?"

Cullen shook his head, "None."

Josephine's mouth gaped open in the slightest, and she slowly shook her head, "None?"

With a bang, the main gate lurched in its frame. Cullen pulled Enasal behind him as the blast sounded again.

A voice, unsure and perhaps frightened, came through.

"I can't come in unless you open!"

It felt right.

Enasal took off before anyone could stop her and lifted the bar of the gates.

A soldier, glowing red with corrupted lyrium, was stabbed through the back so deep that the blade burst through his stomach. The knife withdrew, and the man fell, revealing a boy with the largest hat she'd ever seen.

He rolled his fingers and came towards Enasal, "I'm Cole, I came to warn you." He maneuvered to Enasal's other side, away from Cullen, "To help. People are coming to hurt you." He lowered his head, "You probably already know."

Enasal took a cautious step forward, "Cole? How did you get here? Who even-"

Cole came uncomfortably close. He seemed as though he wanted to touch her arm or shoulder, to comfort her, but he shrank away instead, "The templars come to kill you."

"Templars?!" Cullen barked, sending Cole backward and behind Enasal. "Is this because of our talks with the mages? It can't be - even the most zealous-"

Cole tapped Enasal on the back, shying away when she turned around, "The Red Templars went to the Elder One. You know him?" He leaned in again, so close their noses almost touched, "He knows you. You took his mages." He pointed to the mountain, "There."

Enasal squinted at the top of the mountain. A face was barely recognizable among all the bloodied fog, but beside the man, stood a towering being.

A demon?

Cullen's brow furrowed and hesitated, "I… I know that man up there. But… that?"

A tall, emaciated outline, possibly wearing armor? But between the red mist and the distance, Enasal could tell little else.

Cole spoke in her ear, "He's very angry you took his mages."

Enasal looked up at Cullen, "What do we do?"

He spoke aloud as he thought, seeming to grasp for a possible plan, "Haven is no fortress - if we have any hope of surviving that… Elder One, we must control the battle." 

He approached the mages, "Mages! You…" Another hesitation before he shook his head and set his jaw, "You have sanction to engage them. Their leader is Samson, he will not make it easy."

He backed up to address his soldiers, "Inquisition! With the Herald, for your lives! For all of us!" He glanced back before drawing his sword, "To arms!"

Swords were drawn and battle cries were shouted. Enasal felt an arm grab her, "Seastorm, stop staring and move!" 

Just ahead and charging towards them, were the Red Templars. Clad in armor that was riddled with red lyrium and followed by the bloody haze of them all, they were undoubtedly a force to be reckoned with.

Enasal readied herself.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal and co. try to save Haven, but are forced into the Chantry when a dragon assails the town. At peace with her own death, Enasal pulls away from the others as a distraction. 
> 
> And Corypheus wrecks her shit.

[ Xenosaga III OST - The Battle of your soul ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFo97Zg0nOQ)

Bull got the first group, roaring and sweeping the area with his hammer, felling at least four templars.

From there, the battle spread. Enasal darted left and right around one of the templars, trying to determine a weak point to stick her blade in.

There, right around the edge of the helmet. A small target, but the only one she could see.

Why couldn't it have been demons?

With all that armor, Enasal didn't have a chance when it came to brute force, but she was quick. She would need to tire them out, making them just sloppy enough so she could find a way in.

Enasal dodged to the left, just long enough for the templar to turn towards her before she dodged away again. 

Make him dizzy, make him stupid.

Her sister taught her that.

He stumbled, and Enasal lept onto him, driving both daggers into the gap between head and shoulders. 

Blood sprayed and the man let out a gasp, reminding Enasal of why she'd rather kill demons. Enasal turned and let out a shout as she tried to dodge an incoming blow. The soldier charged to her but suddenly dropped to his knees and forwards, a small knife in the back of his neck.

The boy stood unsteadily over her, swaying left and right.

"He was going to hurt you."

Enasal sighed and patted his shoulder, "Thanks, Cole. Watch yourself too, alright?"

"I don't know if I can die."

"Okay." Enasal said awkwardly, "Why don't you stay with me, we can watch each other's backs."

He bobbed his head up and down, "Yes. I would like that." He cocked his head to the side for a second and said, "Your grandmother was the one who was right." before booking it to the right and tackling down a templar.

_ Fenedhis. _

Shouts were coming from the trebuchets, and Enasal called to Cole before running towards the screaming. 

The templars had a group of Inquisition soldiers pinned, and before she could get there, one was slain with a sword to the stomach. A second templar shoved a soldier against Haven's wall, effectively crushing him to death. 

Knives swished past her ears and two templars went down. She looked behind her at Cole, who looked surprised at himself. 

"They were going to hurt you."

Enasal nodded uneasily and continued her mad dash. She was able to surprise a few templars and skid between them, delivering a solid hit to the back of their knees with the hilts of her blades. Despite the armor, there was enough force to make them stumble and fall. Cole dispatched them soon after.

_ "Duck!" _

Enasal threw herself to the ground just as a hammer swung past, taking down nearby templars. "Thanks, Bull," She panted, "They've got some soldiers pinned by the trebuchets. You go to the western ones and try to get them going, I'll go to the east."

Bull nodded and took off.

The heat of a nearby fire and the smell of beeswax erupted near her. The templars screamed as their armor heated up, cooking them from the inside. A very irate Solas stood straight and noticed her, running towards her,  _ "Da'len, _ go to the Chantry with the others, now!" 

Enasal shook her head, "I'm not running away!" She started her run again, the trebuchets finally coming into view. Solas was cursing in Elven.

Cole pointed at the trebuchets, "They can help - bury the ones who want to kill you."

Enasal looked back at Solas, who nodded, "Stubborn. I'll cover you,  _ da'len _ , you wind the trebuchet." He looked at Cole, "Help her."

"That's why I'm here - to help." Cole said, running to the nearest trebuchet. 

It took both of them to turn the wheel as it strung tighter and tighter. More mages must have been nearby, because the scent of their magic swirled together in the air - pine, beeswax, white-hot metal. Finally ready, Enasal hit the crank, launching a massive stone up and into the mountain. The whole area shuddered with the impact, and Enasal heard a rumbling "whumph" followed by screams. Snow rushed down the mountain, taking glowing red templars with it.

The few templars that remained, were dispatched, and people began to cheer.

They had won.

Solas pulled his student into a hug, " _ Never _ do anything like that again. You could have been killed."

"You know, I will." She said.

"Reckless  _ da'len _ ." He said, but with an affectionate air.

[ LEGENDARY  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtqRjGP3uoY)

They were both knocked to the ground by Cole, just as the nearby trebuchet exploded, splinters and metal flying above them.

A roar from above pulled their gaze upward as a massive dragon tore through the sky. 

"We need to get back to the gates." Solas said, grabbing Enasal by the arm and pulling her along with him.

Cullen was waving everyone through the gates, and when he caught sight of Enasal, he ran to meet them, "Inside, now!" He nearly pushed Enasal through the gate and yelled to the remaining stragglers, "Move it, move it!" With everyone inside the village, he and a few soldiers pulled the gates shut, slamming the bar down. The dragon flew overhead, circling the village and spitting fire at the walls.

"It's trying to make way for soldiers." Enasal said, "There's more coming!"

Cullen nodded, "Get everyone back to the Chantry. It's the only building that might hold against that thing!" 

Bull and Cullen exchanged glances, and Bull nodded, "I got her." He scooped Enasal up, running at full speed to the Chantry. Chancellor Rodrick was waving them into the Chantry, his speech somewhat slurred, and his body propped up by Cole. Once inside, Bull refused to put Enasal down until everyone was in, and Cullen locked the door, ignoring her loud protests.

She heard the stumbling before she turned around to see Rodrick fall against Cole. He caught him and eased him to the ground, "He tried to stop a Templar." He turned to look at Enasal, "The blade went deep. He's going to die."

Rodrick gasped in pain, "Charm… ing"

Cullen pulled Enasal close to look at her, "Are you alright? Were you injured?" 

She shook her head. "I'm not hurt."

"And are you  _ alright?" _ He emphasized the last word.

Enasal forced a smile, "Not really, but we don't have time to worry about that. What's the situation?"

He frowned, "Our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us with that avalanche.

Cole looked up from Rodrick - he was applying pressure to the chancellor's wound, and blood was oozing out between his fingers. "I've seen an archdemon!" He said with excitement, "I was in the fade, but it looked like that."

"I don't care what it looks like!" He snapped, "It has cut a path for that army, they'll kill everyone in Haven!"

With no hope of stopping the bleeding, Cole stood. "The Elder One doesn't care about the village. He only cares about the Herald."

"Me?" Enasal asked, "Because of the mages?"

Cole shrunk away, "He's too loud. It hurts me to hear him." He covered his ears and lowered his voice, "He wants to kill you. No one else matters, but he'll crush them, kill them anyway." He crouched and shook his head, "I don't like him."

Cullen raised his eyebrows, "You don't like…?" He refocused, "Enasal, there are no tactics to make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them down was that avalanche." He held Enasal by her shoulders, "We're dying, Enasal,"

There, back in that horrible red-tinted feature. Bastardized lyrium growing from every wound, every corpse.

_ We're all dying. _

"No!" Enasal shouted, "No, no, no! We can't just sit here and wait to die, we have to at least  _ try  _ to do something!"

Cole leaned in to listen to Rodrick, despite the man's silence. He nodded and whispered. "Yes, that." He called out to them all, "Chancellor Rodrick can help. He wants to say it before he dies." He looked mournful, looking down at the hand he had used to keep pressure on Rodrick's wound.

Rodrick gasped, "There is a… path. I found it… wandering the area of…. the summer… pilgrimage." He shuddered, "Andraste's grace… to send me this memory... in this moment."

Cullen kneeled down to him, "Can you take us?"

Rodrick nodded.

Cole shook his head, "You need more time than the dragon will give you." He said, "She will smell you, she will follow, she will find the path and make sure it burns."

Enasal looked at Cullen.

"No." He said, "It's suicide!"

"You said we're already dead!" She argued, "And Cole said that nobody will make it if the dragon isn't distracted."

Cullen shook his head, "But it doesn't have to be you! Surely we can find someone else." He put a hand on her back and gently led her away from the door.

Enasal was having none of it, she took off towards the door, but Cullen managed to beat her to it. "You can't go out there!"

"Cole said we need time." She said, "And you said the avalanche slowed them down. Some of those trebuchets are still loaded, if I can get out there-"

"Absolutely not!" He said, "Haven is crawling with enemy soldiers and  _ a dragon _ !" He took her arm, "Please, Enasal, come with us. We might yet find a way out of this."

"You said we were dying." She argued, "You just don't want me to go."

"Exactly. If we’re to die, I’d rather have you here than out their all alone." He turned and addressed the group, a hand still at Enasal's elbow, "Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Rodrick. We need to move fast once we find the path!"

Cole pulled Rodrick up and hobbled with him toward the back of the Chantry. As he passed Enasal and Cullen, they both heard him whisper, "You helped… that's all that matters."

Part of her wanted to stay as she was at that moment, but that would be sentencing everyone - including herself - to death.

"Cullen?" She asked.

He looked down and said with an insincere smile, "We'll be, alright."

"The Breach is sealed." She said, "The world doesn't depend on me anymore." She smiled, "Thank you - for everything." 

She jerked her arm away and ran to the chantry doors. She unbarred the door and threw it open, slamming it shut behind her and jamming a nearby sword to the handles.

She heard a shout from inside "Get off of me! Somebody go after her!"

The door moved as someone tried to open it, but her impromptu lock held true.

Good. Nobody else had to get hurt.

[ DARKNESS  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07nRu4xjUTw)

More templars had spilled through the still-burning hole in the village walls, but Enasal had the home advantage. Before she was spotted, she climbed the nearby scaffolding and ran along the top of the wall, content to ignore enemies that hadn't noticed her. She neared the trebuchets and carefully picked along the spiked wall until she balanced above a set of templars. She leapt, hilts down, and slammed into the helmets of both men. Their helmets dented inward, and Enasal head a crack as their skulls were punctured. They fell, and Enasal turned to the next group. She kicked the back of a templar's knee who was trying to flank her, delivering a slice to the back of his neck when he hit the ground. Ahead another charged at her. Just as Leliana had taught her, she bent over at the last second, effectively tripping them over her body. 

Enasal ran to one of the loaded trebuchets and began trying to wind it, but it took so much strength, and templars continued to pursue her. She wished she had magic. Why couldn't she have been born with magic? She turned and relentlessly began beating a templar around his shoulders to knock down the short flight of stairs. He landed badly, and she heard the crack of something broken. A knife through the eye-slit finished him off.

The trebuchet was ready to launch, and Enasal was going for the switch when she was blasted back by searing fire. 

Deep red and teeming with a no-doubt red lyrium electricity, she could feel it burning and zapping at her back when she had been hit.

The dragon that had assaulted Haven landed in front of her, letting a short burst of electric fire at her feet. It sniffed at her before letting loose a roar in her face. Its breath smelled of rotten meat, and she felt tiny bits of fire hit her face.

Well. 

She was going to die anyway.

Enasal screamed back at it - channeling all her anger and hurt into one, seemingly unending scream.

The dragon gave a second's pause of surprise before baring its teeth and stalking towards her.

"Enough!"

The dragon lowered its head and lay on its belly, red eyes fixed on Enasal.

Enasal turned to see whatever creature had accompanied Samson at the top of the mountains. 

Backlit by flame, he stood impossible tall. What Enasal had thought was armor, seemed to be part of his misshapen body. Or perhaps it was worse, maybe he had once worn armor and his body somehow absorbed it. One side of his face had been stretched, as though growing towards the red-lyrium crystals embedded into his face. She saw exposed ribs in his malformed chest, and in a moment of irrational thought, wondered if his heart was exposed as well. Could she stab through the ribs to get at it? 

Enasal hoped her stance was confident. She adjusted her grip on her blades and tested the snow with her bare feet. It was dry snow - easier to move in.

The creature moved towards her, a scowl on his face, "Pretender, you toy with forces beyond your understanding." He pointed to her hand, "No more."

Enasal stood firm, "Why are you doing this to Haven, to its people? We have innocents-'

He scowled so much his teeth showed like an angry animal. "You mortals always beg for the truth you cannot have - cannot understand. It is beyond what you are and what I once was." He stood at his full height, "Know me. Know what you pretend to be." He threw his arms wide, "Exalt the Elder One! The will that is Corypheus!"

He nodded to the ground. "On your knees, elf."

"My name is Enasal!" She shouted, "And I will not kneel - you don't scare me!"

She should keep him talking. The longer she did, the more time for everyone to get into the tunnels and somewhere safe.

"I can see you shaking, little elf." He laughed, "I'm here for the anchor." He held a sphere, shrouded in red mist. It swirled and spun, some pieces moving independently of the others.

Pain ripped through her body as her left hand was assaulted by a red light.

He grasped his free hand into a fist, and the pain intensified. Enasal fell to her knees, unable to stop herself from crying out.

"False Herald, you interrupted a ritual years in the making. You should have perished, but instead, you took its purpose." He shook his head, "How you survived, I neither know nor care, but what marks your hand was crafted to assault the very Heavens.”

The fist clenched tighter, and the red light flared again, blurring her vision and forcing a scream from her.

"And you used my anchor to undo my work - the gall!"

Enasal's vision went black for a second before she was yanked by her marked hand and held aloft with such force that she felt her shoulder disconnect.

"I once breached the fade in the name of another to serve the Old Gods." He lowered her so they were face to face, "I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. I return answering to no name but my own - and I will champion Tevinter back to its former glory and correct this blighted world."

His smile was horrendous. Blackened teeth and a twisted grin. "Beg that I succeed. The gods have all left us." Her arms felt like it was suddenly as though it was slit open, and she lost vision again, gaining it back when she was thrown against the trebuchet.

Corypheus let out a shout of rage. "You have spoiled my anchor with your stumblings! It is  _ permanent!” _

Enasal had accepted her death, but she was going to make this creature work for it. She crawled towards one of the templar's corpses and grabbed the sword with her working arm. Something wet was running down her nose and mouth. She was bleeding, and from the hot wetness all over her, it was from many wounds. She tested her grip on the sword - full-sized and heavy - it would be difficult for her to use on a good day, much less now.

The trebuchet.

Enasal slowly moved from the left to the right, hoping her intention wasn't being given away. But with each time she moved a little farther right, towards the trebuchet switch.

"I cannot suffer an unknowing rival - even one small and weak as yourself. You must die.”

"I won't let you do this." 

She dropped the blade and slammed herself against the switch.

The trebuchet launched its load into the mountains, and the ground shuddered.

The dragon dashed to her master and enveloped him, delivering a hit to Enasal's cheek with its tail that launched her into the air. The snow was coming fast, and Enasal waited for the impact of the ground.

Instead, she broke through boards and fell into the darkness below. 


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strap in guys.
> 
> Before I let you y'all dive in, I want to explain a little about this scene. I have been thinking about this scene from the beginning of it all, and I hope it lives up to expectations.
> 
> Now, y'all know I use music while writing and while browsing YouTube when I should have been writing, I stumbled on the outro to "Good To Be Alive." 
> 
> I loved it. Mostly the little girl at the beginning.
> 
> So I found a video with just her, and it fit well, but I really didn't like how suddenly it cuts before she can finish her note.
> 
> Then I had to go a little crazier. 
> 
> I added some of that ambiance noises.
> 
> Then opened another version of Good To Be Alive because why the hell not?
> 
> So I created this weird thing that may sound God-awful to everyone else, but sounded perfect to me (for the scene anyway).
> 
> I totally don't rock out to it by myself.
> 
> Or made my fiance listen to it.
> 
> Or put it on my iPod.
> 
> Anyway, if you're one of my readers that listens to the provided music, the first link has lyrics, so if that bothers you, you can just click the second ambient track.
> 
> The third?
> 
> My insanity.

[ Good To Be Alive (Outro Lyrics) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiV9XJnTNC0)

[ Cold Survival Music ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQyg8MBQQog)

[ Frozen Despair ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p7CpE0ka5o)

.

Enasal woke up in pure darkness, in horrible, gasping agony.

She moved one hand to wipe the blood from her mouth and tried to move her body with the other, but had forgotten her dislocated shoulder and crumbled on her attempt. 

The pain was enough to warrant tears from anyone.

Switching arms, Enasal managed to ease herself up, stumbling onto her left foot when she was startled by the pain in her right. She tested it - it hurt, but she could probably walk on it.

Enasal stood in the darkness panting out her injuries in Dalish to break the terrible silence.

"Left arm isn't working, the mark is flaring up. Right arm has cuts, pieces of fabric are ripped off. Chest hurts and hard to breathe - probably broke some ribs again." She reached up to feel her hair, stiff and gunky from blood. "Head wound, can't tell if it's bleeding." She felt around her face and neck, "Some cuts, but nothing bad." 

What now?

The mark was growing, and with no way of moving her arm, Enasal had to guess at walls and focus on the floor. 

It was so cold.

Enasal gritted her teeth.

Hugging one of the walls, Enasal managed to find a path that led to a hallway. The longer she walked, the heavier the sulfur smell became.

_ Not here. _

_ Not now. _

_ Please. _

Sure enough, a crackling rift came into view. It shifted and fractured as Enasal got close. Something pulled her arm up to it, spilling light over the room. Enasal couldn't scream. It hurt far too much to scream. 

When she managed to let out a scream, it wasn't over pain - it was over the demons littering the room she was in. Her hand jerked, and she felt something in her arm stir. Another jerk, and another stir.

Enasal held her breath and willed the stirring in her arm out through her hand.

Everything seemed to shake as she was entombed by the green light of the anchor. Enasal let out a hissing breath, and the demons converged on her.

But before they could attack, they were pulled into the air, where they were torn to shreds and sent back into the fade. 

Enasal fell to the floor, gasping out in pain. She took a few deep breaths before standing and continuing following the light. Snow began to fleck on her cheek, melting on contact and rolling down her face. She reached up to wipe the water on her face, but it had begun to freeze. Enasal shook her head, throwing the icy mix off.

There was nothing but snow.

For as far as she could see, there was nothing but white and gray. Ahead, wind swept the snow into hateful arcs that left any concept of visibility laughable.

She was going to die.

This is how it would end. Not destroying the demon who controlled a dragon as a final act… He got away and was sure to return somewhere else. 

It was all in vain.

She would die injured and in pain, all alone in the dark.

Enasal trudged forward, shivering and clumsy. Why hadn't she listened to Varric when he told her to keep her boots tucked into her belt? He had even offered to make loops and buttons for her shoes. 

She stumbled into the snow, taking a few deep breaths before she managed to draw herself back up.

If she was going to die, she'd leave a trail, so nobody would think she just laid down and died. They'd know she'd at least tried to find someone.

Anyone.

She wished for Grandmother, for Shiral, for-

She smelled cinders.

It cut through the snow, and she managed to find a smoldering campfire.

That meant someone was close. But with raging wind and snow in all directions, Enasal had no clues as to where that close person might be.

They might as well be on the other side of Thedas.

She tried to get up and stumbled again. She lay still, no longer shivering. 

Was there any shame in crying over your own death?

She hoped not.

In a final attempt to stand, she managed to balance upward. Her vision was doubled, and it was hard to balance.

A voice?

Enasal fell again, this time unable to move. She tried, testing every muscle imaginable, but there was nothing she could do. She wanted to roll over, to die looking at the sky, but she had fallen on her side and saw nothing but white snow. Her vision slowly faded into black.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal comes back from the brink of death (or maybe actual death?) and is welcomed back to Thedas as a hero... once she manages to stand on her own.

[ Winterfell - House Stark Theme ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYlzcXA3LxI)

Enasal woke up shivering and aching. She tried to sit up, but was pressed back down and hushed.

"Varric, she’s awake!" It was Solas's voice, "Wake up." 

A warm hand on her head, "Don't move,  _ da'len _ , stay quiet."

"Shit, Seastorm!"

There was a weight on her, heavy and almost suffocating. She took slow, deep breaths. They were only a little painful. She tried to move, to ask questions.

Varric sat on the edge of the cot, "Just stay quiet. We're lucky we didn't lose you." He reached over and stroked her hair - oddly enough, it was something her grandmother would do whenever she was sick. She felt herself relax, and her eyes grew heavy.

"That's good." Solas said, "Go back to sleep. The mages have healed most of your injuries, but you were far too cold - if we warmed you too quickly, it would kill you."

Enasal nodded, but an overwhelming dread gnawed at her heart.

"Stay?" Was all she managed to muster.

Varric continued to stroke her hair, "Yeah, we'll stay. Just no more talking for now, try to go back to sleep.

"C-cold."

"That's good." Solas said, "The fact that you can feel cold again means your body is returning to normal. Now, to repeat ourselves, no more talking. Sleep."

Enasal nodded and closed her eyes.

When she opened her eyes again, they finally let her sit up and sip some hot tea. Mother Giselle put a wrinkled hand against her forehead. "Still cold as ice." She said, "Keep drinking, and let's put some of these blankets around your shoulders, we need to keep you warm."

The cot jarred as Varric awoke with a start, having leaned his head against it as he sat on the floor to rest.

Solas was there next, wrapping the blankets tighter around her shoulders. "How do you feel?"

"Cold." She said, "Sore." 

"You must be still." Mother Giselle said, "You underwent major magical healing and were near death." She excused herself and left the tent.

"Seeker Cassandra and the Commander found you." Solas said.

"We thought you were dead." Varric said. "There was blood everywhere, and you were covered in ice. We were ready to… start a pyre.” His voice cracked and he shook his head, regaining his composure. He forced a smile, “But the Seeker said we should try to warm you first - and you came back. I swear, I'll never mess with her again."

"You will," Enasal said with a weak smile and nestled back into the blankets to sleep again.

  
  
  


"What would you have me tell them?!"

Enasal woke up and managed to sit up despite Varric's protest.

"This isn't what we asked them to do!"

Enasal pushed some of the blankets off so she could sit up straight and see what was happening, but the tent flap was firmly closed.

Cassandra's voice cut through the air, "We cannot simply ignore this, we must find a way!"

"And who put you in charge!?" Cullen snapped back, "We need a consensus, or we have nothing!"

Odd, she had never seen Cullen and Cassandra butt heads. Usually, it was him and Leliana.

Josephine's voice was calm and firm, "Please, we must use reason! Without a place to base our operations, we are at a standstill.”

"That can't come from nowhere!"

Leliana shouted back, "She didn't say it could!"

And there it was.

Once again, Cassandra was a voice of reason, "Enough, this is getting us nowhere."

She heard Cullen voice saying something but couldn't quite catch it.

Enasal looked at Varric, "How long have they been fighting?"

"Depends," He said, "Chuckles, how long was I asleep?"

"A little over an hour."

"We'll say around two hours. They stop and just glare at each other for a while, and then they start up again.

Mother Giselle shook her head, "All that fighting."

"I hate when they fight." Enasal said.

"And without you," Mother Giselle said, "They would not have the luxury to even argue." She sighed, "And with so much time and nothing to do with it, we began to doubt, and then we look for something to blame."

"It's Corypheus's fault." Enasal said, before suddenly widening her eyes and attempting to get up, "Corypheus! Where is he? We have to find him, we have to-"

Mother Giselle hushed her, "We are not sure where we are, which perhaps is a blessing. Corypheus and his army have not found us." She felt her forehead again, as though there would be a change between a few moments, "Or perhaps he thought you were dead - as we did." She sighed, "Or perhaps he is simply preparing for another attack and biding his time."

"I think I can get up." Enasal said, pushing at the blankets, "I need to stop the fighting." 

"Even your voice will not help. Perhaps,  _ especially _ yours." 

"It was bad, Seastorm." Varric said, "We had a good thing going - buildings and taverns and stables. We were proud of it, watched all the walls come up, and just like that." He handed Enasal another cup of tea, "It was gone."

"And you've returned to us." Solas said, "You passed from this room, Enasal. But here you are. Do you really wonder why people see that our enemy is so dangerous? The Herald, from death brought back to life, could not defeat him."

Enasal's brow creased, "Corypheus… he mentioned going to a golden city and finding an empty throne."

Someone in the distance, a wolf howled. The camp stilled for an instant before someone shouted to build up the fires.

Mother Giselle nodded, "Have you read the Chant of Light?"

Enasal shook her head, "I can't read… but I've heard some."

"Scripture says that ancient magisters, Tevinter servants of the false Old Gods, physically entered the Fade to reach the Golden City, the seat of the Maker. For treading where no living soul should tread, they were cast out as the first darkspawn. That is why we suffer the Blight, and why the Maker turned from us."

Enasal considered, "The Dalish say the same thing about our Creator and gods. That we've lost their favor." She glanced at Mother Giselle, "Do you think… maybe your Maker and my Creator are the same thing?" She looked away, "I mean, Andraste saved my people from slavery, so there are things that overlap. I believe in Dalish gods, but the Creator too… so maybe I believe in the Maker, too?" She frowned, "Am I making sense?"

Mother Giselle gave a tired smile, "You are thinking about challenging subjects. You might be right, but we will not know until we pass."

"So… is Corypheus really the one from your scriptures?"

"If his claims are true, then he is a monster beyond imagining. We still suffer from the sin he brought upon our world. If even a shred of it is true, then all the more reasons for Andraste to choose an elf to rise against him." Again, she felt her head, "Andraste saved your people from the early magisters - she saw you as capable and worthy people, on par with humans and dwarfs. Why not choose an elf to save Thedas?"

Enasal's eyes were on her tea, "But what if it's wrong? Corypheus is a threat - an actual able-to-murder-you treat. People can believe,  _ I  _ can believe, but we can't believe him away."

Shouts from outside - Leliana and Cullen were at it again.

Enasal glanced from Solas to Varric, "Please, I'm not cold anymore. Help me get up."

Varric nodded and grabbed a pair of boots, no-doubt too big for her. They pulled off the blankets, putting them into a seemingly endless pile at the foot of the cot. Enasal wondered whose clothes she was wearing - they were much too big to be hers. 

Varric helped put the boots on her feet while Solas supported her. Mother Giselle wrapped one of the heavier blankets around her, and Solas and Varric helped her out of the tent.

Everything seemed hopeless.

Tents were set around an area circled with fires. A few survivors were tending to nearby bronto, and she could hear agitated horses somewhere nearby.

The wolves howled again, closer this time.

Leliana was sitting on the ground, hugging her knees and staring off into space. Josephine was near her, head in her hands and sitting in a very un-ladylike way that Enasal thought she'd never seen from Josephine. 

"Belief may not defeat Corypheus, but without it - there is nothing." Mother Giselle said.

Cassandra was leaning on a table, supported by shaking hands as she examined something on it. Cullen was pacing back and forth in quick strides, obsessively futzing with the furless armor around his shoulders.

Behind her, came Mother Giselle's voice - singing.

_ "Shadows fall, _

_ And hope has fled. _

_ Steel your heart, _

_ The dawn will come." _

People looked up towards the sound, and then to Enasal. Tired, weak, and leaning on her two closest friends, the people looked at her as you would a miracle.

_ "The night is long, _

_ And the path is dark. _

_ Look to the sky,  _

_ For one day soon, _

_ The dawn will come." _

Everyone was looking at her. She tried to take a step back, but hands on her back reassured her. "We aren't going anywhere, Seastorm." Varric whispered. 

A flawless and painfully beautiful voice echoed as Leliana looked up and joined.

_ "The shepherd's lost, _

_ And his home is far. _

_ Keep to the stars, _

_ The dawn will come. _

Everyone was singing. 

Everyone knew this song. 

She caught Cullen's eye as he stood towards the back. He seemed in shock, mouth slightly agape before he lowered his head and joined.

_ "The night is long, _

_ And the path is dark. _

_ Look to the sky, _

_ For one day soon, _

_ The dawn will come _ .

A man got down on his knees at her feet and bowed.

Like a tidal wave, people dropped to their knees and bowed their heads, some clutching their hands as though in prayer. 

Enasal closed her eyes and lowered her head. It was too much. All the stares, all the looking.

All the trust.

Varric patted her on the back. She looked down at him, and he winked before saluting her, head bowed down. Solas didn't bow or even acknowledge the song. But he was observing her, as though she would collapse at any moment.

She looked up again to see the others - Bull, Blackwall, even Dorian, one knee in the mud with lowered head.

_ “Bare your plate, _

_ And raise it high. _

_ Stand your ground, _

_ The dawn will come. _

Enasal looked up again, at her friends, her advisors, Krem ordering standing Chargers down.

This song wasn't about the Creator or the Maker.

It was about hope. 

She had heard enough - it was a new song, but she knew it. 

Enasal took a breath, and with her high, lilting voice, joined,

_ The night is long, _

_ And the path is dark. _

_ Look to the sky, _

_ For one day soon, _

_ The dawn will come. _

Though the cheering and renewed hope, Cullen pushed towards her and hugged her tight. He pulled away and held her face in his hands, "You were dead." He said, "There was no breath, no heartbeat, your skin was gray." He leaned forward and emphasized, "You. Were. Dead"

She put her hand on his arm and looked at him with sleepy eyes, "I'm feeling much better. Look, I can almost stand by myself."

He hugged her again, "Thank the Maker, you came back to us."

Bull had shouldered his way through - an effortless task, "I'm putting a leash on you." He said, plopping his hand on her head. "Like a little mabari."

"You _ do _ know how to put on a performance." Dorian said, "Putting us all in such a state just so you can get a hero's welcome."

Enasal smiled weakly, leaning against Cullen, "You have mud on your knee."

"Yet another thing to blame on you."

"Enasal." Blackwall nodded, "You need to be more careful. When you ran off, even in our escape there was despair."

Enasal nodded and waved to Krem.

He was mad, "We thought you were dead! If you weren't a lady-!" He said.

"Whoa, Krem." Bull said, pulling him back. "Your little buddy's back now. I think she's been punished enough with near-death."

"I'd do it again." Enasal said.

"Stubborn woman." Krem said.

Cole had wandered over, "She hurts, she needs to rest. All the eyes and all the stares." He lowered his head and whispered, "Please stop looking at me, I don't like it, I don't deserve-"

"Cole, stop!" She said, "What are you doing?"

Cole wavered, "Your hurt is loud."

He looked around the group, "It is very loud here. I'm going away now."

"The weird kid is right," Bull said, "Pretty sure the Commander's holding most of her weight." He looked at Enasal, "You gonna listen, or am I going to have to throw you back in the tent?"

"I'll listen this time." Her head was drooping. She could feel her body screaming for more sleep, and she was more than happy to be laid back on the cot and piled with blankets.

She was safe.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal is finally allowed to leave the tent and walk on her own. Solas tells her of Skyhold.

[ Sound of Light Wind Breeze and Falling Snow in Forest ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz91QpgUjFc)

She wasn't allowed to leave her tent for nearly two days. Except for a quick visit to some of the hastily-dug toilets, she was stuck. But she was able to have fewer blankets by the end of the first day. Her friends kept turns checking on her or keeping her company. She knew that there wasn't a shred of trust that she wouldn't leap out into the snow the moment she was able.

And they were so very right not to trust her.

On the second day, Enasal was ready for the promised walk around the camp. She stretched her limbs in preparation, often reaching to pull up an oversized sleeve or pants leg. She wished she knew who to thank for the clothes, but Cassandra had said that they were in such a rush to get her in a tent and out of her wet clothes that they hadn't noticed who had tossed them to her.

"Boots," Varric said, not looking up from his manuscript.

"I know." She said, "And… I'm going to have something made to lash my boots to my belt when I'm not wearing them."

"Almost dying put the fear of the Maker in you, I see."

She didn't acknowledge him, "I can't wait to go talk to Josephine and Leliana." She said, "Cullen said he'd take me to the war council, and we could talk about what to do next."

"Tell him I said if he pushes you too much, I'll shoot him through the neck."

" _ Creators _ , Varric!"

He laughed, "I'm just shitting you."

"Why do I feel like that's slightly inture."

"Untrue." He corrected.

"Untrue."

When Cullen called out through the tent flap, Enasal pulled on her boots - they kind of fit with the layers of socks on her feet. She grabbed the oversized coat and wrapped it around her before tying it off with a rope.

"You could have come in."

"I've spent most of my life in the Chantry." He laughed, "A gentleman doesn't go into a woman's quarters uninvited."

She nodded at his pauldrons, "You got your fur back."

He rubbed the back of his neck, "It was mixed in with some of the blanks we had on you. When we… found you...." He trailed off, "Cassandra was sure you weren't actually dead." He chuckled, "You should have heard her screaming at me to find something to wrap you up in." He smiled sheepishly, "I used what I had."

She smiled and bobbed her head from side to side, "Is that the war table?"

On a couple of carefully stacked crates, sat some salvaged maps on a makeshift table. 

Cullen nodded, "Someone grabbed them out of the war room on the way out. Can't remember who." 

Josephine saw them first, "It is so good to see you well, Enasal! I want to both extend my gratitude for saving us all, and to scold you for being reckless." She pointed her pen at her with the last word.

Enasal smiled and pretended to look at the map.

"We think we are here." Leliana said, placing a small stone on the map. "And Haven…" She put another pebble on the map, "Here."

Enasal squinted at the map, "I'm not the best with maps - that's usually Solas's job." She glanced up, "But that doesn't seem too far apart."

"It isn't." Cullen said, "We were surprised as well."

"There's not much around."

"Shouldn't we try to get out of the mountains?" Enasal asked, "Where it's warmer?"

"We're blind." Cullen said, "It hasn't stopped snowing since we arrived - and if we don't know precisely where we're going, we could end up going around in circles."

Enasal thought, "Have any of you talked to Bull?" She asked. "He's...ben...hasseer… he's a spy, right? He knows things. Maybe he'll know of a place we don't - or someone willing to shelter us for a time."

Her advisor looked at each other.

Leliana leaned on the makeshift table and rubbed her eyes, "I'm so exhausted, no wonder I didn't think of that." She looked up and smiled, "Thank you, Enasal, we'll take it from here."

"If we could keep Cullen, however." Josephine said, "Could you get Bull for us? He is with the other Chargers." 

"Should she really be walking on her own?" Cullen asks.

Leliana waved an arm around the crowded camp, "Oh my, Cullen, you're right! With nobody else around-"

"Fine, fine." He said, turning to Enasal, "Ask someone if you need any help."

“I will,” she promised. She saluted, then waved, then dashed off, happy that nobody could regulate her pace.

She found the Chargers, much more out of breath than she should have been. "Bull, you're needed at the war table, they want to consult you on any locations you might know about." She waved to Krem, "Hello Krem, still mad at me?"

"Trying to be, En." He said with a smile, "But you don't make it easy."

Bull stood and dusted the snow off his shoulders, "I'll go - not sure if I can help, though. If your spymaster doesn't know, I might not." He gave her a careful pat on the soldier. "Don't push yourself, boss. Sun's going down, and you don't need to be out at night."

Enasal nodded. She had a lot of stubbornness saved up that she hadn't been able to use, but she was  _ actually _ tired.

Solas was waiting by her tent and nodded as she approached,  _ "Da'len _ , do you have a moment?"

Enasal was tired. But she nodded anyway.

"Good, follow me."

He moved slowly for her, away from camp and into the darkness. He stopped and put an arm out to block Enasal's steps.

They stood a mere step away from a cliff. He raised his hand but stopped and turned to her, "Enasal. Your mark has changed, did you notice?"

Enasal looked at her hand, "I feel like… when I was lost under Haven, something happened, I…" She frowned, "I think I opened a rift and pulled demons into it."

"Can you control that?"

"I don't know."

Solas opened his hand, "May I?"

Enasal put her hand in his so he could examine it. He looked at her and tilted his head.

She looked away, suddenly sure she had done something wrong.

_ "Da'len _ ." He said, "Put your hand here." He gestured to something in the darkness.

Unsure, Enasal reached out.

"Try to do what you did underground."

Enasal nodded. She closed her eyes, and tried to find the stirring, tried to find the will.

"Never mind,  _ da'len _ ." He said, putting his own hand over it, ushering out a flame that lit up the area - he looked disappointed. 

"I spoke to Mother Giselle." He said, "She is a wise woman,  _ da'len _ , worth heeding. She understands that a moment can unify a cause or fracture it to its core. We have a grave concern, Enasal."

He used her name. 

It was serious.

"The orb Corypheus carried and the power he used against you. It is Elven." 

Enasal opened her mouth to protest, but Solas held up his hand and shook his head. "He used the orb to open the Breach. Unlocking it must have caused some explosion that destroyed the Conclave. I do not yet know how Corypheus survived… nor am I certain how people will react when they learn of the orbs origins."

"Why would our people make something so dangerous?" Enasal asked.

"It was a foci, used to channel ancient magics."

"Like," Enasal started, "A staff that mages use today?"

Solas's smile was weary, "Somewhat. But for this conversation, it is like a staff in that it is not inherently dangerous. It is a tool that could be used to damage or heal, depending on the owner."

"A foci." Enasal said, "I've never heard of that, even during Arlathvhen."

Solas looked into the fire, "I have seen such things in the fade, old memories of even older magic. Corypheus thinks the foci is Tevinter - his empire's magic was built on the bones of our people."

Enasal looked out over the cliff, "If they find out that thing was elven… things will get worse for us, won't it?"

He nodded.

Enasal blinked rapidly and set her jaw, "My grandmother would tell me stories, passed down from keeper to keeper. She said that it was so much worse. We had to hide from humans - they hated us so much that they would cut off our ears and pluck out our eyes, on sight. They'd  _ hunt _ us." 

"Don't cry,  _ da'len. _ He soothed, there are steps we can take to prevent such a thing."

He nodded over the precipice of the cliff. "By attacking the Inquisition, Corypheus has changed it," he looked at her hand, "Changed you." He pointed over the cliff, "Scout to the north, be their guide. There is a place that waits for a force to hold."

Enasal followed his gaze, "How do you know?"

"I saw it in the Fade." He said.

"Are you sure it's still there?"

He smiled, "It is not a place easily destroyed, and a place where the Inquisition can build and grow."

Enasal frowned, "We have so many injured, and I'm not at my best." She glanced at him, "It'll be slow going."

"I promise you,  _ da'len _ , it is closer than you realize."

"I'll go talk to my advisors." She said, "See when we can leave."

Solas nodded, "Tomorrow. For now, you need to rest." 

"Okay." She agreed - she was awful tired.

"Goodnight,  _ da'len. _ "

"Goodnight,  _ dirthalen." _


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey to Skyhold finally has an end for the Inquisition.

[Falling Snow in Forest](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vz91QpgUjFc) \+ ["Where I Belong" ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_EueRAHVGE)

The journey was slow.

Enasal pushed herself to stay far ahead, heading north as Solas told her to do. Her teacher kept pace at her side, every so often helping her navigate in the right direction. With civilians and a weakened leader, they had traveled almost five days with little result.

"Solas says we're close." Enasal said to Cullen.

"Good." He said, "Even my soldiers are getting tired."

"And you?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "I'm exhausted. Five days trudging uphill with snow up to your shins."

"Oh,  _ your _ shins." Enasal laughed, "Think about how I feel!"

He laughed.

Enasal tugged at her clothes, "Varric said he can make me some new clothes when we get somewhere safe." She reached down in an attempt to reroll up her pants. 

"Varric sews?"

Enasal nodded, "He says it's hard to find dwarven clothing - says it's easier and better for his wallet than trying to buy any."

She shrugged, "He said it wouldn't be anything too fancy, but better than this." She leaned forward, resting her chin on her palms, "Do you want to know something I really miss about being with my Clan?"

"What?"

"My sister made all my clothes. She used to say I was the best-dressed person in the clan. She said people who saw it agreed." She sighed, "Shiral made the most beautiful… um…" She snapped her fingers, trying to decide the word.

She tilted her head to the side, "It's like a shirt… but it doesn't have… there aren't…"

Enasal snapped her fingers and drew in the snow, a simple person. She pointed to the shape of the torso. "That."

Cullen leaned forward, "A caplet?"

"I guess? There's a shirt underneath so you aren't exposed when you move." She laughed. "She made everything with halla wool - it's so soft. You haven't felt softness until you've felt halla wool." She grinned, "Then she'd dye it - I had all sorts of colors."

"You miss your sister very much, don't you?"

Enasal nodded, "So much it hurts my heart."

It wasn't exactly the right phrasing, but it was endearing.

"I miss the halla, too." She said, "They didn't care that I was banished. They'd come to visit me sometimes. I'd scratch and kiss their faces and talk to them." Her eyes flicked toward him, "They're kind of like mabari - smart. They know what you're saying, but they don't listen if they don't like you." She giggled, "There was one that  _ hated _ the new Keeper. Never listened to her. But she listened to me, and that would make the new Keeper  _ so _ mad." He smiled at the memory, "Her name was Bellanaris."

"I've always wanted a mabari." Cullen said, "But, they're expensive, and I've never had time for one. They need a lot of attention and exercise." He titled his head, "I suppose I could train it to chase the soldiers around, get them in better shape."

"Don't sic animals on your soldiers, Cullen."

He chuckled and shook his head.

Someone tapped Enasal on the back, and she turned and smiled at Leliana.

"If you two are done with your little chat." She said with a smile, "We're ready to move on." 

[ Journey to Skyhold ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aza5MZ8HBc)

Enasal nodded and got up, readjusting her pants and tying the makeshift belt tighter. She wondered if she was losing weight with the heavily rationed diet. That would be the  _ last _ thing she needed.

Solas and Enasal continued leading the group, with the Chargers taking up the rear to ensure nobody fell too far behind.

Enasal ran up an outcropping of rock that jutted out from the mountainside, pausing to scan the horizon. 

"Solas!" She called, "There's something on the next mountaintop!" 

He joined her and nodded, "Good,  _ da'len _ . We're in the right direction."

"Can I?" She asked.

"I think it is safe to do so." He said, turning to hide an amused smile.

Enasal stood, cupping her hands around her mouth and shouting, "We see it! It's just on the next mountain!"

Backs straightened and spirits lifted. Enasal leapt from the outcrop and jumped up and down, waving her nearby friends and Inquisition members onward. 

The hike upwards was quick and excited - everyone felt renewed at the promise of reaching their destination soon. Enasal ran the last mile, staring out from the mountain top with bright eyes.

"Solas!"

It was massive, not just on a single mountain top but two peaks, stone created from perhaps the very mountain to form battlements and towers. A massive courtyard rested inside the walls, surely tripled the size of Haven. Between the two peaks that cradled the hold, lay a shallow valley that no-doubt would be a thing of beauty when the winter snow melted. 

Enasal turned to her teacher, pointing and practically buzzing with excitement and wonder. Her eyes were bright, and Solas spotted a hint of green sparkle by her hand

He chuckled and stood beside his student, "Skyhold,  _ ma da'len." _


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot in pre-cleanup Skyhold that is too old or damaged to be salvaged.  
> So let's set it on fire.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88N6P29Kae0 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88N6P29Kae0)

Enasal stood to face the crowd, her eyes alight with the fire of purpose.

"Thank you all for volunteering!" She shouted to the group, "The Inquisition appreciates your help in getting our new home ready. We're on small debris duty - vines, sticks, limbs and anything you can lift with reasonable ease, now first-"

She reached down and grabbed a chunk of red vines, her face was gravely serious, "This is rashvine. Do not touch rashvine." She pointed to her ears, "Myself and my elven kin are immune, but dwarves, humans, and even qunari will react to this." She held up the vines again, "Within minutes, you will start breaking out in a rash and boils - it will burn, and it will be very painful. If you have come in contact with anything that looks like this," She waved the vines around, "Come see me immediately - don't wait for the rash. If the poison gets into your blood, it will kill you."

She dropped it and smiled again, "My elven friends, please focus on the rashvine. There are marked barrels for you to store them in for us to send to the apothecary later. Everyone else, please be careful - if you're not sure you should touch something - don't."

She leapt from the main stairway and began pulling vines off the wall, focusing on the blood-red ones and passing them to fellow elves. After an hour or two, she opened a large jar on her hip and put her hands in it, rubbing them together and cleaning her face with the substance. The smell made it apparent that it was extremely high proof alcohol. She used the opportunity to walk around the area, talking to her fellow workers and checking for signs of rashvine.

"Working hard, I see?"

Enasal started when she saw Cullen, "You're not wearing armor."

Cullen laughed, "It does come off, you know that.” He nodded to her outfit, "Varric made those?"

She nodded and pulled at the shirt, "I know, they look like a man's. He tried, but gave up and just changed the size of the pattern he normally makes for himself."

"I can see that."

She smiled, "Josephine said she wants to get me a whole new…" She tilted her head and snapped her fingers.

“Outfit?”

“Ye- no. No, it’s in your room, you put clothes in it.”

"Wardrobe?"

"That!" Enasal said. 

"Maker forbid you're out of fashion." He said, rolling up his sleeves and starting to gather some of the debris from the ground.

"Wood goes over there." She nodded with her head, "Anything metal over towards Harritt, he's near the gates." She laughed, "And anything weird, take it to Solas - he's been helping clean the interior."

Enasal grinned, "We're going to have a bonfire tonight!" She looked over to the large pile accumulating the nearby, "Anything flammable that we can't reuse is going right there."

"You're going to dance around the fire, aren't you?"

Enasal almost cackled, "Of course, I'm going to dance around the fire!" She put a hand on her hip, "And honestly, I'm a little insulted you said it as a question."

He laughed, "I think I'd like to see that."

"Me dancing in my man clothes?" She asked, pulled at her sleeve.

"You dancing in anything."

Enasal tried not to grin too hard and gathered a few more vines to dump into one of the barrels. "We're trying to salvage what we can, build up some housing and taverns." She smiled, "Varric says we could fit six or seven!"

Cullen rolled his eyes, "And what of places for people to sleep?"

"Oh… people do need to sleep."

He tried not to laugh. "I promise, once we have everything more in order we can worry about taverns and bedrooms." He had pulled a large pile of vines up and was ready to dump them into the video when Enasal spied a single red vine.

"Ah!" She screamed, "Cullen, no!"

"What?"

"Drop it!"

He obeyed, utterly shocked at the outburst.

She pulled his arms towards them and cursed in Dailsh, "I told everyone not to touch rashvine, why would you do that?"

"Wait, what? Why would I do what?"

She took the jar from her hip, "Arms out, now!" 

He listened, and she poured the contents onto his arms and hands.

"Don't move." She said, "There was rashvine in there, it might have touched you."

"From your behavior, I'm going to assume that it is bad."

"It can kill you!" She said, throwing her hands in the air. She shook her hand and examined his arms, "Do you feel any burning?"

"No?"

"Pain?"

"No."

"Promise?" She asked, "No prideful, 'nothing hurts me'?"

He shook his head, "I promise, I don't feel anything."

Enasal sighed and sat on the ground. He lowered himself beside her.

"Sorry." She said, "Rashvine can be really dangerous, and it's everywhere here. My people are trying to get as much of it out of here as we can, but I'm honestly waiting for someone to get touched by it."

"What do you do for it?"

She looked up, 'Best case? Highest proof liquor we could find and a highly complicated poultice." She bobbed her head and looked at the ground, "I'd have to watch you pretty much day and night for a week - gotta change the poultice a lot and not let it dry out. If the rash starts to crack and bleed, the poison could get into your blood."

Enasal looked at her feet, head still bobbing up and down, "That's the worst case. It is a very slow and very painful way to die."

"There you are - concerned that I might die."

"I happened to like you." She bobbed her head from side to side, a habit he was begging to notice a pattern of, "Mildly."

"Mildly?"

"Just a little."

He smirked and got up, "I think I might just help gather the wood, leave the vines to people who know what they're doing."

"Please do." She laughed.

After a few more hours of work, Cullen excused himself, "I have a meeting with the others," He said, "Josephine hates when I'm late, I always get scolded."

"Are you coming to the bonfire?"

"I'll do my best." He lied. In truth, he'd rather just watch instead of getting directly involved. He ejoyed watching people get drunk and stupid more than actually participate himself.

The rest of them worked until the sun began to sink towards the horizon, and the light grew too dim to work. A few mages were on standby as other workers stuffed unsalvageable fabric into the crevices between old boards and fallen branches. Healers were standing at ready.

From the battlements, the advisors were able to see the whole proceedings. Enasal and her friends had gathered together and showed varying levels of excitement. Enasal was hopping up and down, obviously chattering at great speed. When the mages set fire to the pile of refuse, it lit up the area with an orange and flickering light that rivaled the sun itself.

Cheers erupted, bards began to play, and beer was passed around.

From the landing of the main staircase, Enasal held up a mug and shouted, "To a good day's work! To Skyhold!"

Cheers followed her as she jumped from the landing, grabbed Krem's hand, and they started to laugh and dance.

On the battlement, Cullen leaned forward and frowned.

"He's grumpy." Leliana laughed.

Cullen ignored the comment, "That man, the Charger's lieutenant," He started, "Krem, right? What do you know about him, Leliana?"

Leliana and Josephine exchanged grins. Josephine hid behind her clipboard and pretended to be very interested in something on it.

"He's Tervinter," Leliana said, "A skilled fighter, highly regarded by his subordinates, and a very polite young man."

"That's not what I mean, and you know it."

Another exchange of glances between Leliana and Josephine.

"He and Enasal are good friends." Josephine laughed.

"I spoke with Bull while we traveled here, and Krem was mentioned." Leliana said, "He's pleased that Krem found a friend outside the Chargers. He said it would be good for him, in case he ever decides to live a civilian life.”

Josephine was still busying with her clipboard, "If you're jealous-"

"I'm not jealous."

Leliana laughed, "A man sees a pretty woman with another man, and questions begin." She patted his head, "Sounds like jealousy to me."

Cullen shook his head and stayed silent.

"Oh, for the sake of the Maker, go down there." Josephine said, putting down her clipboard in frustration, "And stop glowering at the poor man!"

Leliana laughed, "Let's get a drink, Josie." She linked arms with her before going on with her voice as loud and dramatic as possible. "Then we can dance - because friends are allowed to dance together!"

“They  _ can?” _ Josephine joined in, “Commander, did  _ you  _ know that?” 

“Stop it.” Cullen said with a shake of his head. They laughed and headed down the stairs, whispering about bets and money owed.

They had been teasing him since Orlais.

"Maker," He said, glancing up at the sky, "Please never let them meet my sisters. I'll be torn to shreds." He shook his head, and unenthusiastically followed the others down the stairs.

By the time he descended the stairs, Enasal and some of her friends had formed a cluster by the fire. She and Krem held mugs, and were purposely bumping their shoulders against each other, harder and harder with each move. Krem hit a final blow, knocking Enasal to the ground.

"En!" He said, pulling her back up, "You alright?"

Enasal nodded and him, trying to keep a serious face but obviously joking, "I could have been killed! I demand satisfaction for such an offense!"

Krem laughed, "Another beer, En?"

Enasal tilted her head to the left and right, feigning deep consideration, "Yes… I suppose that would help."

"I'll get you something to eat, too."

Enasal clapped her hands, "I completely forgive you!"

He laughed and grabbed her mug and headed to grab some more food and drinks.

When he saw Cullen and nodded and attempted a salute, mug in hand. 

Cullen nodded in acknowledgment and made his way to the group.

"Curly!" Varric was the first who noticed him.

Enasal waved, "Cullen, you did come!"

Assorted greetings followed, and Varric again pushed himself to the front. "Hey, a question for you. A couple of us noticed a relatively large space that looks sturdy and unused."

"Everything's unused, Varric." Cullen answered.

"We could put a table in it." Enasal said, "A big one - and we can all go there to relax in peace - and it has a tunnel leading outside of Skyhold so Seastorm can get all that excess energy out."

Bull laughed, "He means, 'we can go somewhere where nobody will see the Herald make an ass of herself.'" He laughed, "A place to blow off steam, drink, gamble-"

"Shenanigans!" Enasal chirped. She looked at Varric, "I pronounced it right?"

"Perfection, Seastorm."

Cullen furrowed his brow in confusion, "Are you asking me to let you use the space?"

Enasal nodded, "You, Leliana, and Josephine would be welcome as well." She said.

Solas leaned on his staff and smiled down at Enasal, "And the head cook is so in love with her 'lamb' that she's already promised to have food ready should we let her know ahead of time."

"That shouldn't be a problem." He said, rubbing the back of his neck, "I'll make sure we section it off."

Varric gave a shout of approval and excused himself to go to the makeshift tavern.

Enasal reached out her hands to Cullen, "The bards are at it again, dance with me!"

He winced and shook his head, "I… really don't dance, Enasal."

She lowered her arms, "Oh."

Cole was suddenly there, and stretched out his long arms, "I can't dance. But I will dance."

Enasal laughed, "Um, okay?"

Cole wasn't lying when he said he couldn't dance, but Enasal tried to help him move his legs and arms in the right ways. It was an utter disaster and utterly hilarious. Cole kept looking up, "Am I dancing? Is this dancing? Am I dancing?" He looked at the others, "This makes her happy."

Cullen shifted his feet awkwardly.

Cole suddenly let go of Enasal's hands and walked away.

"What an odd boy." Dorian said.

"I think he's precious." Enasal said, tapping her head, "Something's not right, but he's sweet."

"Who?" Asked Cullen.

"That, boy-" She said, pointing in the direction Cole had left.

She glanced back at the others who had gone about their business as though nothing happened. The only one who returned her gaze was Solas.

"Later,  _ ma da'len _ ."

Enasal nodded, putting the odd boy on the backburner and returning to the task at hand.

She turned back to Cullen, "You could try."

"I just… don't." He pinched the bridge of his nose, "Please don't make that face."

Krem shoved a mug into Enasal's hand.

"What's that face for, En? Someone step on a spider?"

"First, spiders are not to be stepped on unless they're the big cave spiders. Second, no."

He nudged her, "Mulled wine, getting cold." He handed her a roll, "Mincemeat."

"Thanks." She said, trying to have a chirpy voice.

Krem glanced between her and Cullen and stepped between them. "You asked about the old tower?"

Enasal perked up, "Yes! Cullen said he'd make sure we'd have it."

"Good to hear." He saluted again, "Commander." Though his tone was decidedly less friendly.

Enasal looked back up at Cullen, "A walk then."

"Me?" Asked Cullen.

"Of course!" She laughed, "I've spent all evening with everyone else." She gestured to the group, drinking and laughing. "But I haven't seen you since this afternoon, and since you don't want to dance." She looked up, eye contact maintained, "Why not take a walk?"

"A walk," He nodded, and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yes, I'd like that, I think."


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal is officially Inquisitor.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88N6P29Kae0 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88N6P29Kae0)

Enasal had been exceptionally hands-on with the rebirth of Skyhold. She was pulling vines and weeds, moving furniture, and breaking apart floorboards or frames (with a tremendous amount of joy) if they were deemed irreparable.

It wasn't long before the workers began to come to her with questions and concerns, and Enasal was more than happy to do whatever she could to address them. She was quickly becoming not just a sacred Herald - but a leader. The transition had been unexpected but somehow effortless. 

Whenever she'd take a break, she'd spend the whole time walking around Skyhold and checking in on all the projects. In the process, she would usually stop a disagreement or a squabble, or deliver a message from one group another. It also wasn't uncommon if the workers seemed at their limit for her to advise them to take a break.

Finally, she had started administering assignments. When there was confusion about how to tackle an area if Enasal was near, she would be called to decide different duties.

Leliana saw all of it and was pleased to report it to her colleges. 

Skyhold was growing.

"Good morning, Solas!" Enasal called from halfway, popping her head into the rotunda tower.

From a scaffold above, he smiled and nodded,  _ "Ma da'len,"  _ He said, gesturing to her to come up, paintbrush in hand.

Enasal heeded him, looking around at the paintings as she ascended the scaffolding, "Did you do all these?"

"Most of them." He said, "A few works had enough remnants left that I could restore." 

"They're wonderful." She clapped her hands, "I've seen paintings like these in old ruins!" 

Solas smiled, "I try my best. Would you like a section?" 

Enasal hesitated, "I don't think I can paint like that."

"You are left-handed, are you not?"

She looked down at her marked hand, "Yes."

"Try. I'll give you some charcoal to practice."

Enasal looked at the remaining blank spot, "What should I do?"

"Whatever you like. Take your time with the charcoal until you decide, it can be washed off with little effort." He set aside his paints and brushes. "I'll arrange for you to have a scaffold of your own - I find it best to paint the top first."

She nodded and followed her teacher down. 

"You've been working too hard." He said, "Your face is red and your eyes are tired." He put his hand on her head, "But, Lady Montilyet has been looking for you - she was just here."

"Any idea where she is?"

"I believe she is attempting to create a study for herself - it is near the war room."

"I'll go find her." Enasal said, "Goodbye,  _ dirthalen." _

"Don't overexert yourself,  _ ma da'len." _

She waved and ran towards the war room, where she found Josephine tutting over the worn and unsteady desk. She was muttering about how she could write on such a shaking desk when she looked up and saw Enasal.

"Ah, Enasal, I'm glad to see you."

"Solas said you were looking for me." 

She nodded excitedly and went to the other side of the room to retrieve a long box.

"For you." She said - it was a considerable attempt for Josephine to not jump and clap like a silly schoolgirl.

"Try it on!" She said, "The war room is empty, and I'll keep an eye out."

Enasal felt her heart sink a bit - Josephine, so pretty and impressively dressed - what sort of clothing did she buy her? Enasal forced a grin and nodded, carrying the box into the war room and praying it wasn't a dress. Special occasions? Fine. But running around a base? No.

Alone in the war room, she pulled the ribbons off and opened the box. It was a tailored tunic, deep green, and lined with golden buttons, lapels, and two flourishes on the raised collar. Underneath it, a pair of fawn-colored pants - with enough pockets to keep Enasal content for the random bits and bobs she found on the ground. Finally, a pair of fine leather knee-high boots waited - nice and tiny.

She pulled off the clothes Varric had made her - setting them aside for work and anything else that she might get dirty. Everything fit beautifully. She blew one of her curls out of her eye. Her hair had started to grow out, and a single curl had decided to fall and encircle her right eye. She tried to push it behind her ear, but - of course - it hadn't gotten  _ quite  _ that long and simply sprung back.

She wished there was a mirror. It fit well, but she had no idea how she looked.

Her old clothes in hand, Enasal jogged down to Josephine's study. When she came out, Josephine stood from her desk, "Enasal, you look lovely! Come, come, let me get a closer look at you." She took Enasal's hands and looked her up and down, "I was so worried it wouldn't fit - and we have more coming. Different colors and styles - you'll have so much to wear."

Enasal's grin was more about Josephine's excitement than her own. She was pleased with the outfit, but wasn't very concerned about an entire assortment of something so fine.

"Cassandra was looking for you." Josephine said, "She is in the lower courtyard, stabbing things." 

"I'll go find her." She said.

The main upper and lower courtyard seemed more crowded than usual as Enasal made her way through the crowd and towards the smaller practice field. She shouted a greeting, and Cassandra turned - a rare smile and a nod.

"Enasal." She said, "Would you walk with me?"

[ "The Coronation" by Richard Pouw ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yei30TwG0Yo)

Enasal nodded and followed her lead out of the practice field. Cassandra nodded toward the gates, where another group had just entered through the gate. "They arrive daily from every settlement in the region. Skyhold is becoming a pilgrimage."

"Pilgrimage?" Enasal asked.

"A journey of spiritual or religious devotion." She said, "If word has reached these people, it will have reached the Elder One."

Enasal paled. "He'll find us, then?"

"We have walls and numbers to put up a fight here." She said, "But this is a threat far beyond the war we anticipated."

They had headed toward the upper courtyard, towards the gates and the arriving people. Enasal wondered if Cassandra was taking her to meet the new arrivals.

But Cassandra seemed to have something else in mind, "We know what allowed you to stand against Corypheus, what drew him to you."

Enasal looked down at her left hand, "He came for the mark." She said, "But it's useless to him. I think he thinks that if he kills me, he'll be able to remove it. Or maybe he just wants to kill me for fun." 

Cassandra had started up the main staircase, and Enasal trailed behind her, "Useless to Corypheus or not, the anchor has power." Cassandra put a hand on her Enasal's shoulder. She struggled to keep eye contact on Cassandra's intense gaze, "But the mark is not why you are standing here. Your decisions let us heal the sky. Your determination and sacrifice brought us out of Haven. You are that creature's chosen rival because of what you did."

Cassandra stopped at the top of the staircase, "And we know it - all of us."

She took a few steps back, revealing Leliana holding out a greatsword, head lowered in reverence. 

Enasal felt the sudden urge to run.

Cassandra led her towards Leliana, "The Inquisition requires a leader - one who has already been leading it."

The crowds that had so oddly gathered in the main courtyards were cramming themselves into the upper courtyard, all watching and looking.

"You." Cassandra said.

Enasal turned on her heels, "Me?" She asked, "But… why?"

Cassandra motioned to the crowd, "All of these people have their lives because of you. They will follow you - as they have since we arrived in Skyhold."

She gestured toward the sword Leliana held, "There would be no Inquisition without you. It is yours to lead now."

Enasal carefully grabbed the sword by the hilt but stumbled from the weight. Leliana leaned in, "This is usually where a speech is made."

Enasal nodded nervously and carefully laid the blade on the ground.

"Skyhold!" She began, desperately searching for her close friends in the crowd. 

"I think we can all say, 'there was a time I didn't' think we'd make it!'" She laughed nervously, "And that's okay, it doesn't make you any more or less faithful - I didn't think  _ I  _ was going to make it!"

Her smile fell, "But, it's not over yet. Corypheus is still out there, and he wants to kill and destroy until he changes this world into what he  _ thinks _ it should be. I know many of you have heard of the dark future I saw before the burning of Haven, and  _ that _ is what will happen if Corypheus wins!"

Enasal stood close to the edge, "But, we escaped! We tricked him, and damaged his army and his pride in the process."

"This goes beyond mages and templars, of qunari, elves, dwarves, or humans. This isn't about what country you're from and not even Andraste or any other religion- it's about the entire world. From where I stand, across the Amaranthine and Boeric Oceans, through unknown and back. Imagine that - not just Thedas, but  _ everything  _ outside of it! The world needs us, even if some of them don't know what is happening yet."

She saw Varric and Solas standing in the crowd. Varric winked and Solas nodded.

And suddenly, gone was every scrap of nerves and fear, replaced by a sudden surge of excitement.

"Humans say their maker has left them, and my own people say our gods have left us." She smiled, "That means it's up to us. If they really have left us, we need to show them that we're willing to fight."

She clapped her hands together, "So we must join forces with no regard to any difference of race, religion, or nation. There is no room for division here."

Enasal took a deep breath, "And I would be honored to be your leader. I promise, I will do everything in my power to ensure our success." 

She was confident.

Cassandra nodded in approval, "Wherever you lead us, Inquisitor La-" Her smile flickered on, "Inquisitor Enasal."

She turned to the crowd, "Have the people been told?"

Josephine nodded, "They have. And soon, the world will know!

Cassandra called out, "Commander, will they follow?"

Cullen spun to acknowledge the crowd, "Inquisition! Will you follow?" Cheers erupted, "Will you fight!" Knights drew their weapons and thrust them into the air. Mages held aloft staffs and archers lifted their bows. "Will we triumph?" It was as if the castle itself was alive with the shouting.

He drew his own sword, thrusting it into the air, "Enasal!" He shouted, "Your Herald, You  _ Inquisitor! _

Leliana nodded meaningfully to the sword.

"I'm going to need help." Enasal shouted over the crowd, "There's no way I can lift that!"

Even Cassandra laughed as she and Leliana grabbed the hilt along with Enasal, and held it aloft with the blade pointed at the sun above.

Shouts rumbled the entire castle. Varric had a good chunk of their group and the usual tavern patrons shouting out one of Enasal's songs as loudly as possible, Krem had started a chant of "En, En, En, En!" from the Chargers, and Josephine gave such a shout that Cullen stepped back in surprise. 

Josephine covered her mouth and flushed.

Cullen smirked and laughed at his college, then looked toward Enasal and grinned.

Cassandra balanced the sword over her shoulder and headed into the crowd. Leliana led Enasal into the main hall, joined by Cullen and Josephine as soon as they could get through the crowd. 

This was it.

This is why she never ran from the clan.

This is why she was sent to the Conclave.

This is what she died for.

What she came back for.

This is why she was born.

It was worth the long and lonely wait.

Cullen looked around the main hall, bare after all the rotted furniture had been hauled away. "So, this is where it begins."

Leliana shook her head, "It began in the courtyard. This is where we turn that promise into action."

The adrenaline from the announcement must have drained from Josephine, as she sighed and shook her head, "But what do we do? We know nothing about this Corphyeus except that he wanted Enasal's mark."

Enasal furrowed her brow, "He had a dragon - but it was no healthy dragon - I know, I've seen them." She lowered her eyes and sunk her head, "Could it be an archdemon?"

Leliana looked worried, "If it is, it could be the beginning of yet another blight."

Josephine shook her head, "We've seen no darkspawn other than Corphysus himself. Perhaps it's not a demon at all, but something different."

"It didn't seem like a demon." Enasal said, "I can't explain, but it just didn't seem like one. Maybe she's," she snapped her fingers, "Oh, what did Solas call it -  _ enthralled! _ Maybe she was enthralled? Or maybe it was corrupted like the bad templars."

Leliana and Josephine exchanged looks at Enasal's specification of 'bad' templars.

Whether or not Cullen noticed, he didn't show, "Whatever it is, it's dangerous. Commanding such a creature gives Corypheus an advantage we can't ignore. 

"But we do know what he plans to do next." Leliana said, turning to Enasal, "In that dark future you experienced, Empress Celen had been assassinated, yes?"

Enasal nodded.

Josephine closed her eyes, "Imagine the chaos her death would cause. With his army-"

"An army he'll bolster with a massive force of demons." Cullen added, "Or, so the future tells up."

"With all the unrest." Josephine said, "Corypheus could conquer the entire south of Thedas, god or no god."

"The loss of one country is all it would take?" Enasal asked.

Leliana nodded, "Yes. Orlais is an empire, Enasal, it has taken over more countries than you could imagine." She shook her head, "I'd feel better if we knew more about what we're dealing with."

"I might be able to help with that." 

Enasal turned to see Varric striding into the main hall. 

"You see, I know someone that may be able to help." He said, "I could write a letter and see if she can swing by - it's not certain, she's a busy lady."

"Who?" Enasal asked.

"You probably don't know this, Seastorm, but you're not the first person who crossed paths with Corypheus."

Enasal lit up, "Yes! We need to know as much about Corypheus as we can!"

Varric nodded, "For you, I'll do it." He turned to leave the way he came. "Let's keep it between the five of us, alright?". 

He grinned, "They've got food and drinks in the courtyard, Seastorm, come down when you finish. Your loyal followers demand your presence."

Josephine's pen scratched on her clipboard, "Well, that was… an interesting turn. Although, we will make ready to move on these concerns if the need arises."

Cullen smiled, "On your order, Inquisitor Enasal." The smile melted into a grin.

Leliana leaned forward to catch Josephine's attention, "Josie, do you think it is who I think it is?"

Josephine leaned forward to see her, "He did say it was a lady who had met Corypheus."

Leliana laughed, "If it is, Cassandra is going to kill him."


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal figures out why she's having so many issues reading.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3eX8mr5vuI&feature=youtu.be ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3eX8mr5vuI&feature=youtu.be)

"Good morning, Doiran!" Enasal said, running up the curved stairs of the rotunda. 

He looked up from his book, smiled, and returned his gaze to the pages "Ah, if it isn't the world's tiniest elf." 

"Varric sent me." She said, "He said you two spoke?"

"Yes, Varric is an interesting man, is he not? So many truths and lies there's really no way to tell which are which." He pulled a slip of silk from his pocket, lay it on the page, and closed it onto a side table.

"He said Solas was teaching you to read, but that you were making no real progress."

Enasal nodded, "It's frustrating. I know I should still be working on those stupid readers…" She wondered if she should explain, "They're for children, but Josephine says it's how she learned to read."

He had started browsing the shelves again, "Isn't it odd, a Dalish elf who can't read?"

Enasal looked away, "People threatened mutiny if my grandmother came anywhere near me with our books… and I never had a teacher before Solas." She tilted her head to the left and right, "Even Solas couldn't teach me."

Dorian pulled two books from the shelf. He pulled a chair to the side table and gestured for her to do the same. 

He balanced one book on his thigh and opened the other book to the first page, sliding it across the table.

"Try for me."

Enasal felt her stomach drop.

"Do I have to?"

"You're awfully intelligent for someone who can't learn to read. Try."

Enasal looked down the page. At least the font wasn't too terribly small.

She couldn't stop herself, "Chapter One?"

"That isn't even on the page, you cheeky thing."

Relenting, Enasal studied the page. "Th...the st...st…" She shook her head, "Wait, I got it, I got it. 'The star...stars. The stars feh...fell! The stars fell fru...fru..." Words and sentences bled into each other, and by the time she managed to read a few words, she had already forgotten what she had read. 

She stopped reading and lowered her head, ears flushed with shame, "I'm sorry. It makes me sick after a while."

"Sick?"

"My stomach hurts and my head hurts." She shook her head, "I don't understand why I can't do it." She closed the book before Dorian could see teardrops on the pages. "I always have to find someone else to read my messages to me."

Dorian watched her for a few seconds before sitting across from her. "I think I might know why you're having such a difficult time." 

He opened the page, "Find the first letter and point to it."

Enasal raised her eyebrows.

"Go on, find it."

Enasal looked at the page, her finger hovering above it for a few seconds. It meandered down the page and landed somewhere between the middle of the page and the lower right corner."

_ "That _ is the first letter?"

Enasal flushed and nodded,

"Try again."

She blinked her eyes and rubbed them, before staring at the page, her nose nearly against the paper. Her finger wandered a few seconds before she sat back and closed the books. "I can't."

"Enasal." He said, "Where do the letters end up when you try to read them."

She tapped her fingers and shifted in her chair, but said nothing.

"Do they move?"

Enasal's head snapped up. She nodded.

"So, where do they end up?"

"Kind of to the right and down."

Dorian slapped the table in an apparent victory. "Just as I thought!." He pointed to her, "You'll be happy to know that the problem isn't with your intellect - it's your brain."

Enasal blinked slowly, trying to process the statement, "What's the difference?"

"I knew a lad in Minrathous." He said, "He insisted that the letters wouldn't stay still and would switch places with other letters." 

He pulled a small, straight piece of wood out of a pocket and handed it to Enasal. "This might help keep everything still. It's called a 'reading stick.'" 

Enasal took it and looked between it and Dorian with a mix of confusion and disappointment.

"I know, terribly boring. I had planned a whole display, but there you went, asking questions at the wrong times."

Enasal smiled and turned it around, looking for anything out of place. "A stick will help me read? Did Varric put you up to this to make me feel better?" She laughed, "He's so sweet - don't let him make you think otherwise."

"Excuse me, but that stick is perfectly straight and is about to change your life." He made a shooing motion towards Enasal's book. "Put it on the top of the page, horizontally."

She opened it to a random page and did so - still grinning and clearly not taking it seriously.

"Now slowly lower the reading stick until it is underlining the first line of text. Maker there  _ must _ be better wording than 'reading sticks.' The Common tongue is so vague."

"The stars fall from the sk...sky," She looked up at Dorian. "They're only moving a little. Kind of jittering, but…" She looked back to the page, "The stars fell from the sky!' and, the next line, 'The day yo...yu..you! Ca… cam-eh… no,  _ came _ , in..to my li..fuh.. life!" 

"Try putting it all together. The random sounds you're making don't mean anything."

Enasal was unbothered by his feigned boredom, "The stars fell from the sky, the day you came to life!"

She squealed and held the reading stick to her chest, "Dorian, they were still! I could do it! Can I please,  _ please _ , keep it?"

He smiled and rolled his eyes, "No, I was going to take it away from you and laugh." He raised an eyebrow, "You'll still need to practice, and you won't be reading epic adventures for some time." He took the book she had read and handed it to her. "It's a book of nursery rhymes. Tedious, I know, but better than the readers you were using, 'The Yellow Duck' and all."

"That wasn't one of my readers." She said, 

"Lacking even the most basic of necessities." He pretended to lament, grabbing two more books and giving one to Enasal.

"Turn to page one, find the first line, and read with me. Do stop me if I read too quickly, we can't have you falling behind."

Enasal lowered the stick to trap the first line of letters. They still jittered, and a few were trying to squish together, but they were there.

"Explosions racked the city of Tyvern, and molten earth oozed from the cracks caused by the ruptured earth." Dorian read, "Guardsmen were summoned, and prayers were said, but nobody, in all the grand city, realized that they would be saved not by men or Maker - but by a young elven mage" 

They shared a smile at the first few sentences, before turning their heads back down to read.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lady Vivienne has arrived in Skyhold, toting a group of chevaliers and an old and excitable friend.

[ Balamb Garden - FF8 Remake ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6ORLgBzI1k) ‌

Enasal‌ ‌was‌ ‌sketching‌ ‌on‌ ‌her‌ ‌wall‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌rotunda,‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌the‌ ‌two‌ ‌pictures‌ ‌in‌ her‌ ‌head‌ ‌onto‌ ‌the‌ ‌wall.‌ ‌

"You're‌ ‌left-handed,‌ ‌too."‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌commented.‌ ‌She‌ ‌was‌ ‌keeping‌ ‌her‌ ‌eye‌ ‌on‌ ‌her‌ own‌ ‌activities,‌ ‌so‌ ‌she‌ ‌didn't‌ ‌see‌ ‌his‌ ‌reaction.‌ ‌

"I‌ ‌am.‌ ‌A‌ ‌rare‌ ‌trait‌ ‌in‌ ‌humans‌ ‌-‌ ‌more‌ ‌so‌ ‌in‌ ‌elves.‌ ‌Curious‌ ‌that‌ ‌two‌ ‌of‌ ‌us‌ ‌should‌ ‌end‌ up‌ ‌together‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌way‌ ‌we‌ ‌are."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌"When‌ ‌I‌ ‌had‌ ‌time‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌mad‌ ‌about‌ ‌stupid‌ ‌things,‌ ‌I‌ ‌was‌ ‌really‌ ‌mad‌ that‌ ‌the‌ ‌mark‌ ‌was‌ ‌on‌ ‌my‌ ‌left‌ ‌hand.‌ ‌But‌ ‌now‌ ‌that‌ ‌I'm‌ ‌used‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌occasional‌ ‌flare-up‌ ‌and‌ sleepless‌ ‌night,‌ ‌it's‌ ‌not‌ ‌so‌ ‌bad."‌ ‌

Solas‌ ‌paused‌ ‌before‌ ‌asking,‌ ‌"Flare-ups‌ ‌and‌ ‌sleepless‌ ‌night,‌ ‌‌ _ ma‌ ‌da'len?‌  _ Elaborate."‌ ‌

"Sometimes‌ ‌it‌ ‌just…‌ ‌lights‌ ‌up‌ ‌and‌ ‌hurts."‌ ‌She‌ ‌used‌ ‌her‌ ‌sleeve‌ ‌to‌ ‌smear‌ ‌some‌ ‌of‌ the‌ ‌charcoal‌ ‌off‌ ‌the‌ ‌wall‌ ‌that‌ ‌she‌ ‌didn't‌ ‌like‌ ‌the‌ ‌look‌ ‌of,‌ ‌"And‌ ‌sometimes‌ ‌it‌ ‌hurts‌ ‌at‌ ‌night.‌ Or‌ ‌maybe‌ ‌it‌ ‌hurts‌ ‌off‌ ‌and‌ ‌on,‌ ‌and‌ ‌I‌ ‌don't‌ ‌notice‌ ‌it‌ ‌with‌ ‌everything‌ ‌else‌ ‌going‌ ‌on."‌ ‌

Her‌ ‌teacher‌ ‌walked‌ ‌over‌ ‌and‌ ‌took‌ ‌her‌ ‌hand‌ ‌to‌ ‌examine‌ ‌it,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌wouldn't‌ ‌think‌ ‌it‌ would,‌ ‌not‌ ‌with‌ ‌the‌ ‌Breach‌ ‌sealed…"‌ ‌He‌ ‌tilted‌ ‌his‌ ‌head‌ ‌and‌ ‌observed‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌second‌ before‌ ‌letting‌ ‌her‌ ‌hand‌ ‌go,‌ ‌"Perhaps‌ ‌it‌ ‌involves‌ ‌your‌ ‌odd‌ ‌reactions‌ ‌to‌ ‌magic?‌ ‌If‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ find‌ ‌out‌ ‌why‌ ‌you‌ ‌react‌ ‌in‌ ‌such‌ ‌a‌ ‌way,‌ ‌then‌ ‌perhaps‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ ‌understand‌ ‌why‌ ‌the‌ ‌mark‌ ‌is‌ misbehaving."‌ ‌

He‌ ‌went‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌own‌ ‌side,‌ ‌"Isn't‌ ‌Madame‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌coming‌ ‌today?‌ ‌Dorian‌ ‌and‌ I‌ ‌have‌ ‌already‌ ‌discussed‌ ‌having‌ ‌her‌ ‌help‌ ‌with‌ ‌our‌ ‌study,‌ ‌and‌ ‌it‌ ‌would‌ ‌be‌ ‌good‌ ‌to‌ ‌ask‌ her."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌dropped‌ ‌her‌ ‌charcoal‌ ‌and‌ ‌dived‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌it‌ ‌-‌ ‌it‌ ‌mercifully‌ ‌didn't‌ ‌break,‌ "Today?‌ ‌I‌ ‌thought‌ ‌it‌ ‌was‌ ‌Mon‌ ‌-‌ ‌‌today‌‌  _ ‌is‌ _ ‌Monday!"‌ ‌She‌ ‌stood‌ ‌up‌ ‌and‌ ‌wiped‌ ‌her‌ ‌hands‌ ‌on‌ her‌ ‌shirt,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌into‌ ‌my‌ ‌good‌ ‌clothes,‌ ‌go‌ ‌find‌ ‌Josephine-"‌ ‌

"Have‌ ‌a‌ ‌bath."‌ ‌Solas‌ ‌advised‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌hint‌ ‌of‌ ‌a‌ ‌smile,‌ ‌‌" _ Ma‌ ‌da'len‌ _ ,‌ ‌the‌ ‌charcoal,‌ you're‌ ‌covered‌ ‌in‌ ‌it."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌looked‌ ‌at‌ ‌her‌ ‌hands‌ ‌-‌ ‌her‌ ‌shirt‌ ‌hadn't‌ ‌cleaned‌ ‌them‌ ‌well‌ ‌at‌ ‌all.‌ ‌ ‌

"Your‌ ‌face."‌ ‌He‌ ‌said,‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌own‌ ‌painting‌ ‌and‌ ‌smiling,‌ ‌"One‌ ‌cheek,‌ ‌part‌ ‌of‌ your‌ ‌forehead,‌ ‌and‌ ‌in‌ ‌your‌ ‌hair.‌ ‌I‌ ‌assume‌ ‌you‌ ‌were‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌push‌ ‌it‌ ‌back."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌made‌ ‌a‌ ‌panicked‌ ‌noise‌ ‌before‌ ‌turning‌ ‌to‌ ‌her‌ ‌teacher,‌ ‌"Solas,‌ ‌‌please‌‌ ‌go‌ find‌ ‌Josephine‌ ‌and‌ ‌ask‌ ‌her‌ ‌when‌ ‌we're‌ ‌meeting‌ ‌with‌ ‌her,‌ ‌tell‌ ‌her‌ ‌to‌ ‌come‌ ‌into‌ ‌my‌ ‌room‌ and‌ ‌that‌ ‌it's‌ ‌unlocked‌ ‌and‌ ‌to‌ ‌tell‌ ‌me‌ ‌when."‌ ‌

Halfway‌ ‌through‌ ‌getting‌ ‌dressed,‌ ‌she‌ ‌heard‌ ‌Josephine's‌ ‌voice,‌ ‌"If‌ ‌there‌ ‌is‌ ‌one‌ thing‌ ‌you‌ ‌have‌ ‌on‌ ‌your‌ ‌side,‌ ‌Enasal,‌ ‌it's‌ ‌luck.‌ ‌Scouts‌ ‌just‌ ‌announced‌ ‌seeing‌ ‌her‌ ‌nearby.‌ She‌ ‌should‌ ‌be‌ ‌here‌ ‌within‌ ‌the‌ ‌hour."‌ ‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌was‌ ‌working‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌last‌ ‌few‌ ‌buttons‌ ‌when‌ ‌she‌ ‌called‌ ‌Josephine‌ ‌to‌ ‌come‌ in.‌ ‌

"You‌ ‌could‌ ‌have‌ ‌come‌ ‌in."‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌don't‌ ‌care‌ ‌with‌ ‌other‌ ‌women,‌ ‌we‌ ‌all‌ have‌ ‌the‌ ‌same‌ ‌things."‌ ‌

Josephine‌ ‌laughed,‌ ‌"You‌ ‌and‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌will‌ ‌meet‌ ‌her‌ ‌as‌ ‌she‌ ‌arrives‌ ‌and‌ ‌take‌ ‌her‌ into‌ ‌the‌ ‌main‌ ‌hall‌ ‌-‌ ‌there‌ ‌will‌ ‌be‌ ‌tables‌ ‌and‌ ‌refreshments‌ ‌for‌ ‌First‌ ‌Enchanter‌ ‌Vivienne‌ and‌ ‌her‌ ‌entourage.‌ ‌There‌ ‌are‌ ‌three‌ ‌chairs‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌head‌ ‌table.‌ ‌Enasal,‌ ‌you‌ ‌will‌ ‌sit‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ middle‌ ‌one,‌ ‌the‌ ‌Commander ‌will‌ ‌be‌ ‌on‌ ‌your‌ ‌left,‌ ‌and‌ ‌Lady‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌will‌ ‌sit‌ ‌on‌ ‌your‌ ‌right.‌ This‌ ‌shows‌ ‌that‌ ‌we‌ ‌welcome‌ ‌her‌ ‌here,‌ ‌but‌ it is ‌also‌ ‌a‌ ‌reminder‌ ‌of‌ ‌who‌ ‌is‌ ‌in‌ ‌charge."‌ ‌

"Cullen‌ ‌and‌ ‌I?"‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌asked,‌ ‌pulling‌ ‌her‌ ‌last‌ ‌boot‌ ‌on,‌ ‌"And‌ ‌not‌ ‌you‌ ‌and‌ Leliana?"‌ ‌

Josephine‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌will‌ ‌be‌ ‌busy‌ ‌keeping‌ ‌everything‌ ‌on‌ ‌track‌ ‌and‌ ‌handling‌ ‌any‌ arising‌ ‌problems,‌ ‌and‌ ‌Leliana‌ ‌is‌ ‌currently‌ ‌away‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌few‌ ‌scouts.‌ ‌It‌ ‌seems‌ ‌some‌ Ferelden‌ ‌soldiers‌ ‌have‌ ‌gone‌ ‌missing,‌ ‌and‌ ‌they‌ ‌are‌ ‌investigating‌ ‌it.‌ ‌The‌ ‌Fereldin king‌ asked‌ ‌for‌ ‌her‌ ‌help,‌ ‌so‌ ‌she's‌ ‌getting‌ ‌personally‌ ‌involved."‌ 

‌At‌ ‌Enasal's‌ ‌expression,‌Josephine‌ ‌shook‌ ‌her‌ ‌head,‌ ‌"It‌ ‌is‌ ‌nothing‌ ‌to‌ ‌worry‌ ‌about right now.‌ ‌They‌ ‌are‌ ‌only‌ ‌looking‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ if anything looks awry."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌nodded.‌ ‌

Josephine‌ ‌carefully‌ ‌tried‌ ‌to‌ ‌rearrange‌ ‌a‌ ‌few‌ ‌curls‌ ‌on‌ ‌Enasal's‌ ‌head,‌ ‌but‌ ‌tutted‌ ‌and‌ gave‌ ‌in.‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌laughed.‌ ‌"And‌ ‌you‌ ‌wonder‌ ‌why‌ ‌I‌ ‌don't‌ ‌try."‌ ‌

"I‌ ‌bet‌ ‌it‌ ‌would‌ ‌be‌ ‌a‌ ‌wonder‌ ‌to‌ ‌behold‌ ‌if‌ ‌you‌ ‌would‌ ‌grow‌ ‌it‌ ‌out."‌ ‌She‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"But‌ ‌I‌ know‌ ‌-‌ ‌you‌ ‌hate‌ ‌having‌ ‌it‌ ‌long."‌ ‌She‌ ‌nodded‌ ‌toward‌ ‌the‌ ‌door,‌ ‌"Could‌ ‌you‌ ‌go‌ ‌check‌ ‌on‌ the‌ ‌Commander?‌ ‌The‌ ‌soldiers‌ ‌are‌ ‌standing‌ ‌ready,‌ ‌and‌ ‌you‌ ‌two‌ ‌should‌ ‌go‌ ‌as‌ ‌well.‌ ‌The‌ first‌ ‌thing‌ ‌Lady‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌will‌ ‌see‌ ‌when‌ ‌the‌ ‌gates‌ ‌to‌ ‌Skyhold‌ ‌open‌ ‌are‌ ‌its‌ ‌Inquisitor‌ ‌and‌ Commander,‌ ‌backed‌ ‌by‌ ‌soldiers‌ ‌and‌ ‌banners."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌laughed‌ ‌"You've‌ ‌had‌ ‌a‌ ‌lot‌ ‌of‌ ‌fun‌ ‌planning‌ ‌this,‌ ‌haven't‌ ‌you?"‌ ‌

She‌ ‌leaned‌ ‌forward,‌ ‌"It‌ ‌was ‌both‌ ‌nerve-wracking‌ ‌and‌ ‌extraordinary."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌grabbed‌ ‌a‌ ‌book‌ ‌as‌ ‌she‌ ‌passed‌ ‌her‌ ‌room‌ ‌and‌ ‌ran‌ ‌towards‌ ‌the‌ ‌tavern,‌ sticking‌ ‌her‌ ‌head‌ ‌into‌ ‌a‌ ‌broken‌ ‌window‌ ‌to‌ ‌yell‌ ‌that‌ ‌anyone‌ ‌wanting‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌a‌ ‌show‌ ‌should‌ go‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌main‌ ‌gates.‌ ‌ ‌

‌ [ 「Melodies of Life」 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLHDbruVjQg)

She‌ ‌jogged‌ ‌up‌ ‌the‌ ‌stairs‌ ‌to‌ ‌Cullen’s‌ ‌office‌ ‌and‌ ‌knocked,‌ ‌a‌ ‌book‌ ‌held‌ ‌behind‌ ‌her‌ back,‌ ‌and‌ ‌called‌ ‌out,‌ ‌"Cullen,‌ ‌it's‌ ‌Enasal!‌ ‌Josephine‌ ‌said‌ ‌we‌ ‌should‌ ‌be‌ ‌ready‌ ‌for‌ ‌when‌ Lady‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌comes."‌ ‌

"I‌ ‌know."‌ ‌ ‌

It‌ ‌was‌ ‌his‌ ‌grumpy‌ ‌voice.‌ ‌

He‌ ‌pulled‌ ‌the‌ ‌door‌ ‌open,‌ ‌his‌ ‌displeasure‌ ‌obvious ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌diplomatic‌ ‌gear.‌

"Josephine‌ ‌wants‌ ‌to‌ ‌show‌ ‌off‌ ‌a‌ ‌militaristic‌ ‌side‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌Inquisition,‌ ‌and‌ ‌I‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌wear‌ ‌this?‌ ‌Ridiculous."‌ ‌

"Maybe‌ ‌because‌ ‌we‌ ‌eat‌ ‌afterwards?‌ ‌Full‌ ‌armor‌ ‌might‌ ‌be‌ ‌tricky."‌ ‌

"True."‌ ‌He‌ ‌admitted,‌ ‌but‌ ‌reluctantly.‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌nudged‌ ‌him‌ ‌as‌ ‌they‌ ‌walked,‌ ‌"Would‌ ‌you‌ ‌like‌ ‌to‌ ‌hear‌ ‌something‌ ‌good?"‌

He‌ ‌finally‌ ‌noticed‌ ‌that‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌had‌ ‌something‌ ‌behind‌ ‌her‌ ‌back‌ ‌and‌ ‌was‌ ‌grinning.‌

"I'm‌ ‌interested."‌ ‌He‌ ‌said‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌hint‌ ‌of‌ ‌a‌ ‌smile.‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌handed‌ ‌him‌ ‌the‌ ‌book,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌read‌ ‌this."‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌stopped‌ ‌and‌ ‌looked‌ ‌through‌ ‌the‌ ‌book,‌ ‌"Nursery‌ ‌rhymes…‌ ‌you‌ ‌read‌ ‌all‌ these?"‌ ‌

She‌ ‌nodded.‌ ‌

He‌ ‌chuckled,‌ ‌"Considering‌ ‌you‌ ‌couldn't‌ ‌get‌ ‌through‌ ‌a‌ ‌sentence‌ ‌a‌ ‌few‌ ‌weeks‌ ‌ago,‌ that's‌ ‌remarkable."‌ ‌

"And‌ ‌they're‌ ‌actually‌ ‌not‌ ‌‌all‌ ‌‌childish."‌ ‌She‌ ‌said,‌ ‌flipping‌ ‌through‌ ‌the‌ ‌book,‌ ‌"Like‌ this‌ ‌one,‌ ‌this‌ ‌is‌ ‌the‌ ‌first‌ ‌one‌ ‌I‌ ‌read."‌ ‌She‌ ‌gave‌ ‌it‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌him,‌ ‌"It's‌ ‌about‌ ‌a‌ ‌mother‌ ‌who‌ looks‌ ‌at‌ ‌her‌ ‌newborn‌ ‌baby,‌ ‌and‌ ‌it's‌ ‌like‌ ‌everything‌ ‌falls‌ ‌down‌ ‌into‌ ‌that‌ ‌one‌ ‌child‌ ‌because‌ she‌ ‌feels‌ ‌so‌ ‌much‌ ‌love‌ ‌she‌ ‌can't‌ ‌think‌ ‌of‌ ‌anything‌ ‌else."‌ ‌She‌ ‌laughed,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌bet‌ ‌my‌ ‌mother‌ felt‌ ‌that‌ ‌way‌ ‌for‌ ‌Shiral."‌ ‌

"She‌ ‌would‌ ‌have‌ ‌for‌ ‌you‌ ‌too,‌ ‌Enasal."‌ ‌He‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"Every‌ ‌mother‌ ‌does.‌ ‌My‌ ‌poor‌ mother‌ ‌felt‌ ‌it‌ ‌four‌ ‌times,‌ ‌and‌ ‌only‌ ‌disappointed‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌few‌ ‌of‌ ‌us."‌ ‌He‌ ‌glanced‌ ‌over‌ ‌at‌ Enasal,‌ ‌"That‌ ‌was‌ ‌a‌ ‌joke."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌laughed.‌ ‌"I‌ ‌was‌ ‌excited‌ ‌to‌ ‌tell‌ ‌you.‌ ‌I've‌ ‌kind‌ ‌of‌ ‌been‌ ‌reading‌ ‌it‌ ‌all‌ ‌hidden‌ away.‌ ‌Everyone‌ ‌else‌ ‌would‌ ‌tease‌ ‌me‌ ‌to‌ ‌oblivion.‌ ‌Not‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌mean,‌ ‌mind‌ ‌you,‌ ‌and‌ ‌I‌ usually‌ ‌don't‌ ‌mind‌ ‌being‌ ‌teased‌ ‌but…"‌ ‌She‌ ‌shook‌ ‌her‌ ‌head,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌don't‌ ‌like‌ ‌being‌ ‌teased‌ about‌ ‌reading,‌ ‌it's‌ ‌taken‌ ‌me‌ ‌so‌ ‌long‌ ‌to‌ ‌figure‌ ‌out‌ ‌that‌ ‌something‌ ‌was‌ ‌wrong.‌ ‌I‌ ‌want‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ reading‌ ‌an‌ ‌actual‌ ‌novel‌ ‌when‌ ‌the‌ ‌others‌ ‌see‌ ‌me‌ ‌read‌ ‌for‌ ‌the‌ ‌first‌ ‌time."‌ ‌

"And‌ ‌you‌ ‌don't‌ ‌think‌ ‌I'll‌ ‌tease‌ ‌you?"‌ ‌He‌ ‌chuckled.‌ ‌

"No,‌ ‌because‌ ‌I‌ ‌told‌ ‌you‌ ‌that‌ ‌it‌ ‌would‌ ‌hurt‌ ‌my‌ ‌feelings,‌ ‌and‌ ‌you're‌ ‌one‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌nicest‌ people‌ ‌I‌ ‌know."‌ ‌

"Ah."‌ ‌

“Even if you’re grumpy a lot.” She clapped her hands together. "Hey,‌ ‌you‌ ‌know‌ ‌what's‌ ‌interesting!"‌ ‌She‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"When‌ ‌you‌ ‌look‌ ‌at‌ ‌a‌ ‌page,‌ ‌the‌ letters‌ ‌‌probably‌‌ ‌don't‌ ‌move!"‌

Cullen‌ ‌was‌ ‌snapped‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌reality,‌ ‌"Move?"‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌"Dorian‌ ‌said‌ ‌some‌ ‌people‌ ‌have‌ ‌something‌ ‌wrong‌ ‌with‌ ‌their‌ brains‌ ‌that‌ ‌make‌ ‌the‌ ‌letters‌ ‌misbehave.‌ ‌He‌ ‌says‌ ‌with‌ ‌hard‌ ‌work‌ ‌and‌ ‌an‌ ‌excellent‌ teacher,‌ ‌I‌ ‌should‌ ‌learn‌ ‌to‌ ‌read‌ ‌and‌ ‌write."‌ ‌

She‌ ‌looked‌ ‌at‌ ‌him‌ ‌and‌ ‌grinned,‌ ‌"In‌ ‌case‌ ‌you're‌ ‌wondering,‌ ‌‌he's‌‌ ‌the‌ ‌'excellent‌ teacher'."‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌laughed,‌ ‌"I've‌ ‌barely‌ ‌spoken‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌man,‌ ‌and‌ ‌somehow‌ ‌that‌ ‌doesn't‌ surprise‌ ‌me."‌ ‌

They‌ ‌made‌ ‌their‌ ‌way‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌soldiers,‌ ‌who‌ ‌saluted‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌as‌ ‌he‌ ‌passed.‌ ‌He‌ returned‌ ‌the‌ ‌salutes with a nod.‌ ‌They‌ ‌stood‌ ‌in‌ ‌front,‌ ‌closest‌ to‌ ‌the‌ ‌gate‌ ‌so‌ ‌they‌ ‌would‌ ‌be‌ ‌front‌ ‌and‌ ‌center‌ ‌when‌ ‌the‌ ‌First‌ ‌Enchanor‌ ‌arrived.‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌glanced‌ ‌down‌ ‌at‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌before‌ ‌training‌ ‌his‌ ‌gaze‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌gates,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌haven't‌ had‌ ‌a‌ ‌chance‌ ‌to‌ ‌tell‌ ‌you."‌ ‌He‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"But‌ ‌Josephine‌ ‌chose‌ ‌well.‌ ‌You‌ ‌look…‌ ‌Very‌ ‌nice."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌flicked‌ ‌her‌ ‌eyes‌ ‌upward‌ ‌to‌ ‌him‌ ‌and‌ ‌then‌ ‌to‌ ‌her‌ ‌toes,‌ ‌"You‌ ‌as‌ ‌well."‌ ‌

They‌ ‌stood‌ ‌in‌ ‌awkward‌ ‌silence‌ ‌until‌ ‌it‌ ‌was‌ ‌announced‌ ‌that‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌was‌ ‌nearing‌ the‌ ‌gates.‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌turned‌ ‌to‌ ‌his‌ ‌soldiers‌ ‌and‌ ‌ordered‌ ‌them‌ ‌to‌ ‌fall-in‌ ‌to‌ ‌formation,‌ ‌while‌ Enasal‌ ‌tried‌ ‌again‌ ‌to‌ ‌get‌ ‌the‌ ‌single‌ ‌curl‌ ‌away‌ ‌from‌ ‌her‌ ‌eye.‌ ‌

[ Waltz for the Moon ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPQBAiuSQFQ)

The‌ ‌gates‌ ‌opened,‌ ‌revealing‌ ‌a‌ ‌grand‌ ‌coach‌ ‌pulled‌ ‌by‌ ‌two‌ ‌impressively‌ ‌large‌ horses.‌ ‌In‌ ‌front‌ ‌and‌ ‌behind‌ ‌stood‌ ‌Orlesian‌ ‌soldiers.‌ ‌One‌ ‌of‌ ‌them‌ ‌set‌ ‌a‌ ‌stool‌ ‌by‌ ‌the‌ ‌coach‌ ‌and‌ ‌held‌ ‌a‌ ‌hand‌ ‌out,‌ ‌leading‌ ‌Lady‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌onto‌ ‌the‌ ‌stool‌ ‌and‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌ground.‌ ‌

She‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌upon‌ ‌seeing‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌and‌ ‌Cullen,‌ ‌"How‌ ‌wonderful,‌ ‌Herald‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌and‌ her‌ ‌Commander."‌ ‌

"Inquisitor."‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌corrected,‌ ‌"I'm‌ ‌sure‌ ‌you‌ ‌were‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌road‌ ‌and‌ ‌had‌ ‌yet‌ ‌to‌ ‌hear,‌ but‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌was‌ ‌asked‌ ‌to‌ ‌lead‌ ‌the‌ ‌Inquisition‌ ‌and‌ ‌therefore‌ ‌earned‌ ‌the‌ ‌title."‌ ‌

"Oh,‌ ‌‌Inquisitor‌‌ ‌Enasal."‌ ‌She‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"So‌ ‌lovely‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌you‌ ‌again,‌ ‌darling.‌ ‌Don't‌ ‌you‌ look‌ ‌full‌ ‌of‌ ‌confidence‌ ‌and‌ ‌merriment?"‌ ‌ ‌

"Thank‌ ‌you,‌ ‌Lady‌ ‌Vivienne."‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"I'm‌ ‌sure‌ ‌you're‌ ‌tired‌ ‌after‌ ‌such‌ ‌a‌ ‌long‌ journey.‌ ‌The‌ ‌Commander‌ ‌and‌ ‌I‌ ‌can‌ ‌show‌ ‌you‌ ‌to‌ ‌your‌ ‌quarters‌ ‌before‌ ‌dinner."‌ ‌

Vivienne‌ ‌waved‌ ‌them‌ ‌away,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌have‌ ‌people‌ ‌who‌ ‌can‌ ‌take‌ ‌care‌ ‌of‌ ‌my‌ ‌things,‌ ‌and‌ I'm‌ ‌sure‌ ‌one‌ ‌of‌ ‌your‌ ‌soldiers‌ ‌can‌ ‌help‌ ‌them‌ ‌find‌ ‌the‌ ‌right‌ ‌places."‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌looked‌ ‌back‌ ‌at‌ ‌his‌ ‌men,‌ ‌"Lieutenant‌ ‌Vodin,‌ ‌please‌ ‌show‌ ‌Lady‌ ‌Vivienne’s‌ people‌ ‌where‌ ‌they‌ ‌are‌ ‌staying,‌ ‌then‌ ‌take‌ ‌the‌ ‌First‌ ‌Enchanter's‌ ‌belongings‌ ‌to‌ ‌her‌ ‌room."‌

The‌ ‌lieutenant‌ ‌glanced‌ ‌at‌ ‌all‌ ‌the‌ ‌trunks‌ ‌and‌ ‌parcels‌ ‌before‌ ‌nodding.‌ ‌

"I'm‌ ‌glad‌ ‌you‌ ‌had‌ ‌so‌ ‌much‌ ‌business‌ ‌to‌ ‌attend‌ ‌to‌ ‌before‌ ‌arriving."‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌said,‌ using‌ ‌her‌ ‌best‌ ‌manners‌ ‌and‌ ‌best‌ ‌vocabulary.‌ ‌"You‌ ‌would‌ ‌have‌ ‌been‌ ‌in‌ ‌Haven‌ ‌when‌ ‌it‌ fell."‌ ‌

"I'm‌ ‌sure‌ ‌I‌ ‌would‌ ‌have‌ ‌managed,‌ ‌my‌ ‌dear."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌shook‌ ‌her‌ ‌head,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌wouldn't‌ ‌put‌ ‌anyone‌ ‌in‌ ‌that‌ ‌situation‌ ‌for‌ ‌any‌ ‌reason.‌ ‌I‌ managed,‌ ‌but‌ ‌that‌ ‌doesn't‌ ‌mean‌ ‌it‌ ‌went‌ ‌well."‌ ‌

"Enasal‌ ‌was‌ ‌gravely‌ ‌injured."‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"She‌ ‌nearly‌ ‌froze‌ ‌to‌ ‌death‌ ‌-‌ ‌we‌ ‌lost‌ ‌her‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌time,‌ ‌her‌ ‌heart‌ ‌stopped‌ ‌beating."‌ ‌

"How‌ ‌horrific!"‌ ‌Vivieanne‌ ‌exclaimed,‌ ‌"Poor‌ ‌dear,‌ ‌you‌ ‌simply‌ ‌must‌ ‌be‌ ‌more‌ careful."‌ ‌

"I‌ ‌do‌ ‌my‌ ‌best."‌ ‌She‌ ‌answered.‌ ‌

The‌ ‌main‌ ‌hall‌ ‌was‌ ‌still‌ ‌somewhat‌ ‌bare,‌ ‌but‌ ‌clean‌ ‌and‌ ‌organized.‌ ‌ ‌

"Quaint."‌ ‌Vivieanne‌ ‌said.‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌"For‌ ‌now.‌ ‌Skyhold‌ ‌has‌ ‌been‌ ‌abandoned‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌very‌ ‌long‌ ‌time‌ ‌-‌ ‌we‌ aren't‌ ‌actually‌ ‌sure‌ ‌‌how‌‌ ‌long."‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌"For‌ ‌now,‌ ‌we‌ ‌decided‌ ‌to‌ ‌focus‌ ‌on‌ ‌cleaning‌ ‌and‌ ‌creating‌ infrastructure."‌ ‌

"Then,‌ ‌we‌ ‌decorate."‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌hope‌ ‌we‌ ‌can‌ ‌consult‌ ‌you‌ ‌on‌ ‌that‌ ‌matter?"‌

Cullen‌ ‌was‌ ‌surprised‌ ‌by‌ ‌Enasal's‌ ‌conversation.‌ ‌It‌ ‌wasn't‌ ‌only‌ ‌that‌ ‌she‌ ‌was‌ holding‌ ‌Orlesian-esque‌ ‌conversation,‌ ‌but‌ ‌that‌ ‌her‌ ‌speech‌ ‌patterned‌ ‌seemed‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌an‌ odd‌ ‌mix‌ ‌of‌ ‌Varric‌ ‌and‌ ‌Solas.‌ ‌

"I'd‌ ‌be‌ ‌honored‌ ‌to,‌ ‌Inquisitor."‌ ‌She‌ ‌said‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌slight‌ ‌head‌ ‌bow.‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌mimicked‌ ‌the‌ ‌movement,‌ ‌"As‌ ‌would‌ ‌we."‌ ‌

They‌ ‌had‌ ‌practiced‌ ‌how‌ ‌they‌ ‌would‌ ‌behave‌ ‌while‌ ‌they‌ ‌waited,‌ ‌and‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌waited‌ for‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌to‌ ‌go‌ ‌next.‌ ‌

"Lady‌ ‌Vivienne,‌ ‌let‌ ‌me‌ ‌get‌ ‌your‌ ‌chair."‌ ‌

"Thank‌ ‌you,‌ ‌dear."‌ ‌She‌ ‌said,‌ ‌sliding‌ ‌into‌ ‌her‌ ‌seat.‌ ‌

When‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌had‌ ‌been‌ ‌seated,‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌turned‌ ‌to‌ ‌her,‌ ‌"You‌ ‌have‌ ‌become‌ ‌quite‌ the‌ ‌influential‌ ‌figure,‌ ‌Inquisitor."‌ ‌

"Lady‌ ‌Vivienne,‌ ‌I‌ ‌must‌ ‌insist‌ ‌that‌ ‌you‌ ‌call‌ ‌me,‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌and‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌only."‌ ‌

Vivienne‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌and‌ ‌leaned‌ ‌back,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌think‌ ‌I‌ ‌can‌ ‌agree‌ ‌to‌ ‌that‌ ‌-‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌condition‌ that‌ ‌you‌ ‌stop‌ ‌performing‌ ‌and‌ ‌speak‌ ‌to‌ ‌me‌ ‌face‌ ‌to‌ ‌face."‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌and‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌shared‌ ‌an‌ ‌uncomfortable‌ ‌glance. 

Vivienne‌ ‌laughed,‌ ‌"Well,‌ ‌it's‌ ‌nothing‌ ‌to‌ ‌be‌ ‌ashamed‌ ‌of,‌ ‌dears."‌ ‌She‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"We‌ ‌all‌ put‌ ‌on‌ ‌our‌ ‌best‌ ‌face‌ ‌at‌ ‌parties,‌ ‌but‌ ‌we‌ ‌are‌ ‌no‌ ‌longer‌ ‌at‌ ‌a‌ ‌party."‌ ‌She‌ ‌smiled,‌ ‌"Well,‌ ‌not‌ ‌an‌ Orlesian‌ ‌party."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌took‌ ‌a‌ ‌breath,‌ ‌"I'm‌ ‌sorry,‌ ‌Lady‌ ‌Vivienne,‌ ‌we…"‌ ‌

Why‌ ‌had‌ ‌they‌ ‌done?‌ ‌Had‌ ‌they‌ ‌ruined‌ ‌a‌ ‌potentially‌ ‌powerful‌ ‌alliance?‌ ‌

"Best‌ ‌foot‌ ‌forward,"‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"But‌ ‌I'd‌ ‌rather‌ ‌see‌ ‌the‌ ‌real‌ ‌versions‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ people‌ ‌I‌ ‌will‌ ‌be‌ ‌working‌ ‌with."‌ ‌

"When‌ ‌you‌ ‌put‌ ‌it‌ ‌like‌ ‌that,"‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌said,‌ ‌nodding,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌feel‌ ‌so‌ ‌much‌ ‌better.‌ ‌Cullen‌ doesn't‌ ‌have‌ ‌to‌ ‌talk‌ ‌much,‌ ‌and‌ ‌I‌ ‌hopefully‌ ‌have‌ ‌some‌ ‌mercy‌ ‌for‌ ‌stupid‌ ‌remarks."‌

Vivienne‌ ‌tilted‌ ‌her‌ ‌head‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌side‌ ‌and‌ ‌scolded,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌do‌ ‌not‌ ‌tolerate‌ ‌stupid‌ ‌remarks,‌ Enasal,‌ ‌but‌ ‌I‌ ‌will‌ ‌excuse‌ ‌ignorant‌ ‌remarks."‌ ‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌shook‌ ‌her‌ ‌head,‌ ‌"I'm‌ ‌sorry,‌ ‌but‌ ‌I‌ ‌don't‌ ‌know‌ ‌the‌ ‌difference."‌ ‌

Vivienne‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌"Thank‌ ‌you‌ ‌for‌ ‌your‌ ‌honesty.‌ ‌If‌ ‌you‌ ‌say‌ ‌something‌ ‌stupid,‌ ‌it‌ means‌ ‌your‌ ‌brain‌ ‌is‌ ‌soft‌ ‌and‌ ‌daft.‌ ‌If‌ ‌you‌ ‌are‌ ‌ignorant‌ ‌-‌ ‌as‌ ‌you‌ ‌sometimes‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌-‌ ‌it‌ simply‌ ‌means‌ ‌that‌ ‌you‌ ‌do‌ ‌not‌ ‌know‌ ‌or‌ ‌understand‌ ‌something."‌ ‌She‌ ‌shook‌ ‌her‌ ‌head,‌ "Never‌ ‌be‌ ‌ashamed‌ ‌of‌ ‌ignorance,‌ ‌Enasal.‌ ‌Ignorance‌ ‌can‌ ‌be‌ ‌fixed,‌ ‌stupidity‌ ‌cannot."‌

"And‌ ‌general‌ ‌behavior?"‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌said‌ ‌with‌ ‌an‌ ‌uneasy‌ ‌smile.‌ ‌

Vivenne laughed,‌ ‌"Well,‌ ‌darling,‌ ‌that's‌ ‌a‌ ‌choice‌ ‌-‌ ‌but‌ ‌you‌ ‌might‌ ‌be‌ ‌confusing‌ 'stupid'‌ ‌and‌ ‌'silly'."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌relaxed‌ ‌at‌ ‌seeing‌ ‌a‌ ‌mirthful‌ ‌laugh.‌ ‌

Their‌ ‌plates‌ ‌came,‌ ‌and‌ ‌Vivienne‌ ‌was‌ ‌asking‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌about‌ ‌his‌ ‌templar‌ ‌days,‌ which‌ ‌he‌ ‌was‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌navigate‌ ‌away‌ ‌from.‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌looked‌ ‌up‌ ‌and‌ ‌caught‌ ‌sight‌ ‌of‌ ‌Varric‌ sitting‌ ‌among‌ ‌Orlesian‌ ‌nobility,‌ ‌judging‌ ‌on‌ ‌their‌ ‌attire.‌ ‌

By‌ ‌luck,‌ ‌Varric‌ ‌looked‌ ‌up‌ ‌and‌ ‌saw‌ ‌her‌ ‌as‌ ‌well.‌ ‌

"You're‌ ‌here?"‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌mouthed.‌ ‌

He‌ ‌nodded‌ ‌and‌ ‌gestured‌ ‌at‌ ‌the‌ ‌nobles‌ ‌of‌ ‌either‌ ‌side‌ ‌and‌ ‌mouthed,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌have‌ ‌a‌ ‌fan‌ club.‌ ‌Send‌ ‌help‌ ‌-‌ ‌they're‌ ‌Orlesian!”‌ ‌He‌ ‌checked‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌if‌ ‌any‌ ‌of‌ ‌them‌ ‌were‌ ‌looking‌ ‌and‌ showed‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌a‌ ‌flask‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌wink.‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌grinned.‌ ‌

"Oh,‌ ‌and‌ ‌Enasal,‌ ‌darling."‌ ‌

"Yes?"‌ ‌

"I‌ ‌met‌ ‌the‌ ‌most‌ ‌excitable‌ ‌woman‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌way‌ ‌here.‌ ‌She‌ ‌said‌ ‌she‌ ‌designed‌ ‌that‌ lovely‌ ‌dress‌ ‌you‌ ‌wore‌ ‌to‌ ‌my‌ ‌salon‌ ‌and‌ ‌that‌ ‌she‌ ‌was‌ ‌on‌ ‌the‌ ‌pilgrimage‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌job‌ ‌as‌ ‌your‌ personal‌ ‌attendant."‌ ‌

Enasal‌ ‌glanced‌ ‌at‌ ‌Cullen,‌ ‌who‌ ‌shook‌ ‌his‌ ‌head‌ ‌and‌ ‌shrugged.‌ ‌

Vivienne‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌and‌ ‌stood,‌ ‌"Forgive‌ ‌me,‌ ‌it‌ ‌was‌ ‌a‌ ‌terribly‌ ‌long‌ ‌journey,‌ ‌so‌ ‌I'll‌ ‌retire‌ to‌ ‌my‌ ‌room."‌ ‌She‌ ‌smiled‌ ‌and‌ ‌gave‌ ‌another‌ ‌shallow‌ ‌nod,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌sent‌ ‌the‌ ‌woman‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌your‌ diplomate‌ ‌Lady‌ ‌Montilyet."‌ ‌

The‌ ‌moment‌ ‌she‌ ‌was‌ ‌out‌ ‌of‌ ‌sight,‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌turned‌ ‌to‌ ‌glance‌ ‌at‌ ‌Cullen.‌ ‌

"Annason?"‌ ‌She‌ ‌asked‌ ‌with‌ ‌a‌ ‌wince.‌ ‌

"I‌ ‌didn't‌ ‌know."‌ ‌He‌ ‌promised,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌swear‌ ‌to‌ ‌Andraste‌ ‌herself,‌ ‌I‌ ‌would‌ ‌have‌ ‌told‌ ‌you."‌

"Why‌ ‌would‌ ‌I‌ ‌need‌ ‌an‌ ‌attendant?"‌ ‌She‌ ‌said‌ ‌aloud.‌ ‌

"If‌ ‌we‌ ‌ever‌ ‌got‌ ‌you‌ ‌an‌ ‌attendant,‌ ‌it‌ ‌would‌ ‌be‌ ‌more‌ ‌about‌ ‌not‌ ‌letting‌ ‌you‌ ‌jump‌ ‌off‌ cliffs."‌ ‌He‌ ‌looked‌ ‌at‌ ‌her,‌ ‌pointedly,‌ ‌"Or‌ ‌climb‌ ‌the‌ ‌battlements."‌ ‌

"Bull‌ ‌bet‌ ‌me‌ ‌twenty‌ ‌sovereigns‌ ‌that‌ ‌I‌ ‌couldn't‌ ‌do‌ ‌it."‌ ‌

"You‌ ‌got‌ ‌the‌ ‌money."‌ ‌It‌ ‌wasn't‌ ‌a‌ ‌question.‌ ‌

She‌ ‌nodded,‌ ‌"I‌ ‌got‌ ‌the‌ ‌money."‌ ‌

"Oh,‌ ‌Enasal!"‌ ‌ ‌

The‌ ‌high‌ ‌pitched‌ ‌voice,‌ ‌the‌ ‌heavy‌ ‌Orlesian‌ ‌accent,‌ ‌and‌ ‌the‌ ‌scuttling‌ ‌of‌ ‌tiny‌ ‌feet.‌

Enasal‌ ‌stood‌ ‌and‌ ‌was‌ ‌pulled‌ ‌into‌ ‌a‌ ‌tight‌ ‌hug‌ ‌for‌ ‌a‌ ‌second‌ ‌before‌ ‌Annason‌ ‌pulled‌ away,‌ ‌keeping‌ ‌their‌ ‌hands‌ ‌clasped‌ ‌together,‌ ‌"On,‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌when‌ ‌word‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌tragedy‌ ‌at‌ Haven‌ ‌reached‌ ‌Orlais,‌ ‌I‌ ‌was‌ ‌completely‌ ‌inconsolable!‌ ‌I‌ ‌thought‌ ‌to‌ ‌myself,‌ ‌'My‌ ‌poor‌ Enasal,‌ ‌gone‌ ‌with‌ ‌so‌ ‌much‌ ‌left‌ ‌to‌ ‌do‌ ‌in‌ ‌her‌ ‌life!'‌ ‌But‌ ‌then,‌ ‌the‌ ‌word‌ ‌spread‌ ‌that‌ ‌you‌ ‌died‌ to‌ ‌save‌ ‌Haven‌ ‌but‌ ‌were‌ ‌sent‌ ‌back‌ ‌to‌ ‌us‌ ‌by‌ ‌Andraste!‌ ‌And‌ ‌better,‌ ‌the‌ ‌Inquisition‌ ‌has‌ reappeared‌ ‌and‌ ‌are‌ ‌officially‌ ‌led‌ ‌by‌ ‌the‌ ‌brave‌ ‌and‌ ‌wise,‌ ‌Enasal!‌ ‌I‌ ‌told‌ ‌myself,‌ ‌'My‌ Enasal,‌ ‌she‌ ‌is‌ ‌alive!‌ ‌I‌ ‌shall‌ ‌go‌ ‌to‌ ‌the‌ ‌hold‌ ‌of‌ ‌the‌ ‌Inquisition‌ ‌and‌ ‌become‌ ‌her‌ ‌attendant'."‌

She‌ ‌pulled‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌back‌ ‌into‌ ‌a‌ ‌hug,‌ ‌"And‌ ‌here‌ ‌we‌ ‌are!‌ ‌Together‌ ‌again!"‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌looked‌ ‌horrified.‌ ‌

"Th-thank‌ ‌you,‌ ‌Annason."‌ ‌

She‌ ‌spun‌ ‌to‌ ‌face‌ ‌Cullen,‌ ‌"And‌ ‌Commander,‌ ‌so‌ ‌wonderful‌ ‌to‌ ‌see‌ ‌you‌ ‌again.‌ ‌Still‌ as‌ ‌handsome‌ ‌as‌ ‌ever‌ ‌-‌ ‌is‌ ‌that‌ ‌the‌ ‌same‌ ‌suit‌ ‌from‌ ‌the‌ ‌salon,‌ ‌dear?‌ ‌It‌ ‌looks‌ ‌a‌ ‌bit‌ ‌large,‌ ‌are‌ you‌ ‌eating‌ ‌well?"‌ ‌

"I'm‌ ‌fine,‌ ‌really."‌ ‌

Annason‌ ‌wiped‌ ‌her‌ ‌eyes and sniffled.‌ ‌

"Are‌ ‌you‌ ‌alright,‌ ‌Annason?"‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌asked.‌ ‌

"Ah,‌ ‌yes,‌ ‌my‌ ‌dear‌ ‌friend."‌ ‌She‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"Weak‌ ‌eyes.‌ ‌I‌ ‌am‌ ‌quite‌ ‌tired,‌ ‌and‌ ‌the excitement‌ ‌is‌ ‌too‌ ‌much,‌ ‌I‌ ‌believe."‌ ‌

She‌ ‌kissed‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌on‌ ‌both‌ ‌cheeks‌ ‌and‌ ‌twittered‌ ‌a‌ ‌goodbye‌ ‌to‌ ‌them‌ ‌both.‌ ‌

"She's‌ ‌not‌ ‌of‌ ‌any‌ ‌nobility."‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌assured.‌ ‌

"How‌ ‌do‌ ‌you‌ ‌know?"‌ ‌

He‌ ‌tapped‌ ‌his‌ ‌cheek,‌ ‌"She‌ ‌kissed‌ ‌your‌ ‌cheeks.‌ ‌Nobility‌ ‌doesn't‌ ‌do‌ ‌that,‌ ‌the‌ ‌stupid‌ masks‌ ‌would‌ ‌get‌ ‌in‌ ‌the‌ ‌way."‌ ‌

"What‌ ‌is‌ ‌she,‌ ‌then?"‌ ‌

"I‌ ‌don't‌ ‌know,‌ ‌but‌ ‌she's‌ ‌‌not‌‌ ‌nobility."‌ ‌He‌ ‌smiled,‌ ‌"She‌ ‌might‌ ‌not‌ ‌be‌ ‌as‌ ‌bad‌ ‌as‌ ‌I‌ thought."‌ ‌

"We‌ ‌might‌ ‌have‌ ‌been‌ ‌a‌ ‌little‌ ‌harsh‌ ‌on‌ ‌her."‌ ‌Enasal‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"Maybe‌ ‌we‌ ‌were‌ ‌taking‌ our‌ ‌frustrations‌ ‌with‌ ‌Leliana‌ ‌and‌ ‌Josephine‌ ‌on‌ ‌her."‌ ‌

"Of‌ ‌course."‌ ‌Cullen‌ ‌said,‌ ‌"And‌ ‌now‌ ‌‌you're‌‌ ‌stuck‌ ‌with‌ ‌her."‌ ‌

"Oh,‌ ‌come‌ ‌on,‌ ‌Cullen!"‌ ‌She‌ ‌laughed,‌ ‌"I'm‌ ‌trying‌ ‌to‌ ‌…‌ ‌put‌ ‌a‌ ‌positive…‌ ‌corkscrew?"‌ She‌ ‌made‌ ‌a‌ ‌spinning‌ ‌motion‌ ‌with‌ ‌her‌ ‌finger.‌ ‌

Cullen‌ ‌laughed,‌ ‌"Close‌ ‌-‌ ‌a‌ ‌positive‌ ‌spin."‌ ‌

"Well,‌ ‌a‌ ‌corkscrew‌ ‌spins,‌ ‌doesn't‌ ‌it?"‌ ‌She‌ ‌laughed.‌ ‌

He‌ ‌shook‌ ‌his‌ ‌head,‌ ‌still‌ ‌laughing,‌ ‌"Yes,‌ ‌Enasal,‌ ‌it‌ ‌certainly‌ ‌does."‌


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all know Enasal walked out of this conversation and like thirty minutes later shouted, "That's what Varric was talking about!"

[ (Piano Etude I - Rule of Rose) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NptI4tyCHhU)

Enasal was showing Annason some of the key places of Skyhold, and found Cole crouched in the upper courtyard, where some refugees were meandering. 

His hands were over his ears, but she couldn’t see his face.

“Cole?” She asked, crouching down, “Are you okay?”

He shook his head, “It’s too loud here. I want to help them, but it’s too loud.”

Enasal looked at the refugees. One of the soldiers was talking to them, no-doubt briefing them before settling them into some rooms.

“The poor dear!” Annason looked near tears, “Is he touched? Oh, poor thing!”

She remembered what he had said about her grandmother and the looks she was given after people began to bow.

“Cole, what do you mean that it’s 'too loud'?”

“Their hurt is loud.”

“Can you read their minds?”

“I can hear their hurt.” He said, glancing up at Enasal with a bloody nose, “And it is loud.”

Enasal kept the panic from her face at seeing his dripping nose. “Would you like to go somewhere quieter?”

He nodded.

Enasal glanced and Annason, “I’m sorry, I’ll show you the rest later, but…” She gestured to Cole.

“Do not apologize, my friend, I understand.” Annason said, “Perhaps we could meet tomorrow morning for breakfast and finish the tour?”

“I eat at the Bird in the Hand.” She said, “You wake up...really early, so can we say around eight? Could you wait that long?”

Annasson nodded, “I shall have someone give me directions.” Enasal had grown used to Annasons double-goodbye-kisses and mirrored the gesture.

Enasal looked at Cole and sighed. She took his hand as you would a child and led him to her room, where she cleaned his face and gave him some water.

He looked at the glass, turning it to look at it at all angles and spilling it when he turned it upside down. Enasal sighed and went to clean it up, “You’re supposed to drink it,  _ da’isha.” _

“I don’t think I have to.”

Enasal refilled the glass with her pump, “Having a drink of water always makes me feel better.”

He shook his head.

“Alright.” She said, putting the glass down. “You’ve got water all down your front.” She blotted his shirt with a towel.

“Your hurt is loud, too.” He said.

“Too loud?”

He shook his head, “Your hurt is loud… but right now it is the only one.”

Enasal nodded, “Do you want to stay here where it’s quiet? I can go look somewhere else for you to stay. Where are you sleeping?”

He blinked, “Wherever I want.”

Enasal skimmed past the statement. “We could go to the battlements - we’ll pass some soldiers here and there, but not too many.”

“I like the sun.” He said vaguely.

As they walked the battlements, Cole wandered in a serpentine motion,seemingly at random as he looked over one side and then the other. Suddenly, he veered from his path and went to a soldier, “You did not know he would stay behind to help the rest. You couldn’t have stopped him.” The woman opened her mouth to say something but Cole whispered something into her ear Enasal couldn't catch. The woman blinked a few times before wandering off, her shoulders considerably less slouched.

Cole looked at Enasal and said, “Words can make hurt get better.”

“I… see.” She hoped he wouldn't go into her own mind again.

Instead, he looked up and jogged towards one of the buildings.

“Demons everywhere, so many. No, stop, don’t go that way!” He rolled his neck, “He told me to stay, I’ll stay, they can’t get me, I will not falter.” He craned his neck to look up, “Must be controlled, but here -  _ they're _ here. Why those mages, why those?”

He opened the door and walked into the room.

Cullen jumped in surprise, “Who - Enasal?”

“Sorry Cullen - do you remember Cole?”

He looked at Cole and shook his head, “Should I?”

“You were young and afraid.” Cole said, “The mages were afraid. They were all afraid. Fear in the air makes poison in the mind.”

“Hey!” Cullen started, but the boy was gone.

[ Eyes on Me (classical guitar) ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJNtbtOlv4Y)

Enasal looked around and shook her head, “I just followed, I didn’t know what he was going to do.” She leaned into the doorway, “Your office is really coming together. May I?”

Cole's words had thrown him off, but he nodded.

There wasn’t a chair yet, so Enasal perched on the desk as Cullen filled the nearby bookcase.

“What was Cole talking about?” She asked.

“Who?”

Enasal heaved a sigh, “The boy who warned us in Haven.”

Cullen’s brow creased in thought, “I… believe I do remember something like that.”

“He was  _ just _ in here.” She said, “He said that you were young and afraid and the mages were afraid.” She hesitated, “And something about ‘why those mages’?”

Cullen had gone pale. He put a final book in the bookcase and leaned on the desk beside Enasal.

“Enasal… how do I even go into this?”

She smiled, “Maybe from the beginning?”

He signed, “I told you I started my templar training at thirteen?"

She nodded.

"When I turned 18 and took my vows, I was assigned to the Ferelden Circle of Magi.” He looked at her from the side, “I truly,  _ truly _ believed in what I was doing. Protect the mages of the circle and if the worst case scenario happens and a mage is turned into an abomination, you do what must be done to protect the mages inside and the people outside.”

He boosted himself on the desk, leaning his elbows on the knees, “But then there were other duties. Capturing escaped mages, dealing out punishments to mages who didn’t obey orders.” He fussed with his hair, “I tried to stay away from that as much as possible, but when you're ordered to put a mage in solitary confinement, you do it.”

“It sounds like a prison.” Enasal whispered.

“Depends on who you ask.” He said, “Lady Vivienne loves the circles, but people like your dear teacher hate them.”

“And what about you?” 

Cullen crossed his arms over his chest, “I think they have a place. I’ve seen what magic can do but I’ve also seen how mages have been treated. We need more regulation between the circles  _ and _ steadfast rules for both parties.” 

He stood up again, “Has Varric said anything about what happened at Kirkwall?”

Enasal shifted uncomfortably and looked down, “He said that he knew you and that you… weren’t nice.” She waved her arms, “But I don’t really believe him!”

Cullen looked away, “Enasal, I was  _ not _ a good templar,  _ or _ a good person.” He rubbed his neck, “The Kirkwall Circle was awful - mages  _ were _ prisoners. I’ve seen escaped mages slash their own throats rather than go back to that place.” He lowered his head, “I chased them, I brought them back. I knew how awful it was, but I wanted to follow orders and be a good soldier. Even when I saw the Knight-Commander losing her mind - she ordered tighter and tighter regulations on the mages until it became too much. The templars and mages fought and…”

He trailed off, but Enasal recalled something Varric had once told her, “The Chantry?”

Cullen nodded. “The Chantry. I stood by the Knight-Commander's side far too long, and I should have said something. But I hated magic, hated what it might do because I was a stupid coward.”

He slouched, “And now… some of the recently arrived mages? They were from the Ferelden Circle. Survivors from when it all went straight to the Void.” He said, “A slew of abominations and demons, it got so bad that they closed the doors and locked all the remaining mages and templars inside - myself included. Mages and templars were being slain left and right until I was the last sane one. I used my templar abilities to erect a barrier and protect myself. I wanted to destroy every trace of magic in that moment, and begged our Knight-Commander to do just that. ‘The Circle is lost’, I remember saying.”

He shook his head, “I don’t know how I can face them.” 

Enasal forced a smile and shrugged sheepishly, “Maybe you could. Just say you’re sorry."

“I could say… ? Enasal, it isn’t that simple! You can’t do some of the things I’ve done and just say “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.’!”

She hopped down from the desk and took his hands into hers, “But it could be a start.”

Cullen shook his head. “I can be kinder to the mages here and now, but now that mages I knew as a templar are here?”

He let go of her hands, and turned away. "I wasn’t the worst - I never raped or beat anyone… but I supported harsh and cruel ideas, and even stood by and watched as things got out of control. The treatment or mages was getting worse by the day. Even after I’d snapped out of it and came into the smallest thought of ‘maybe this is all wrong’?”

He turned back to her and shook his head, “I still stood by and watched it spiral out of control - and I did nothing, not until the very end. Not until hundreds had been lost in Kirkwall.” 

He looked down at her, “I’m sorry, Enasal, I should have thought this through more.”

“What?” 

He waved around the room before gesturing to himself and Enasal, “This - us. Enasal, I was not a good templar and I’m not a good person.” 

"I think you are."

"I just…". He trailed off before rubbing the back of his neck, "Maybe, it isn't very wise for us to," He shook his head, "Spend so much time like this."

“Cullen,” Enasal said, “Maybe not always, but now, you're a good person.” She put her hands behind her back, “My grandmother said that there are steps someone should do if they’ve done something really bad - like with what my clan did to me. “

He shook his head and leaned against the desk again, “Have you ever thought that Varric has good reason not to like me?"

Enasal ignored him, “My grandmother said that you have to first apologize to whoever you hurt. That’s the first step.”

Cullen frowned, “What if they don’t forgive you?"

Enasal’s smile was sad, “They might not. They might never forgive you and that’s something you have to accept. But you’ve acknowledged that you did wrong.”

“And I just apologize my way out of a decade of - me?”

She shook her head, “You have to accept whatever they do. If they forgive you, that’s excellent, if they don’t, then they just don’t.”

“Then what?”

She smiled, “You’ve actually done it out of order. I’ve seen you about to say things about mages and stop yourself. In Haven, when you gave them permission to fight, you hesitated, but then you did it anyway.” She snapped her fingers, “And when Josephine scolded you for something you said, you apologized and said that you knew.”

She took his hands again, “After you apologize you have to root out those thoughts. You already try not to say them outloud, but now you have to work on your own mind. If you feel yourself thinking about mages in general being bad, you have to correct yourself. Aloud or in your head, you have to remind yourself, ‘No, that’s not true.’. And you do that until the negative thoughts and feelings about mages stop.”

“Do thoughts like that ever stop?”

Enasal shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“And then?”

“Then you move forward, making sure that you do right by the people you’ve wronged.” She said, “You don’t forget - you shouldn’t forget. I think translated into Common the phrase would be, ‘sew it on your heart, and keep it with you always'.” She smiled, “It doesn’t mean you can't move with your life, it just means you can’t forget.”

Cullen shook his head, but there was a hint of a smile on his face, “Enasal, I have heard you say some of the strangest things, I’ve laughed so hard at your jokes. And then you say something that cuts me to the bone.” He smiled weakly, “Quite profound as well.”

Enasal winced, “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” He squeezed her hands, “You were perfect.” He considered before adding, “If your clan apologized to you - would you accept it?”

Enasal pulled away and lowered her head, “No… I don’t think I could. Saying I could forgive them would be… as you say ‘unworthy of me’.”

“If it can be okay that I’m not forgiven,” He said, taking her hands back, “Then it can be okay if you’re not willing to forgive them.”


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal has to defend Cole's stay in Skyhold.

[ Backbiting ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd4zFORIWmM)

Enasal hoped to find Cole again. She remembered him crouched on the ground, nose bleeding and overwhelmed by thoughts, and how utterly clueless he seemed about other things.

She was going down to the lower courtyard, she saw the top of the tale-tell hat poking out from above the stairs.

“Hello, da’isha.”

Cole looked up from where he had been messing with the grass before going back to his activity.

“Maker’s breath, what is that thing?”

Enasal looked up to see Vivienne, Solas, and Cassandra nearby. She realized the ‘thing’ Vivienne was talking about must have been Cole.

“His name is Cole.” Enasal said, “He helped us escape Haven.”

Vivienne shook her head, “That might be true, but at what cost?” She shook her head, “That thing is not human.”

Enasal felt herself bristle, “If that’s true, he’s harmless, he just wants to help.”

“Enasal, that thing is not a stray puppy you can make into a pet.” Her frown was deep and disapproving. “It has no business being here.”

Solas kept his usual calm demeanor. “Wouldn't you say the same of an apostate such as myself, as well as many of the mages here?”

Oh, no. 

Enasal realized that with Vivienne’s love of Circles and Solas’ utter distaste for them, this was going to be a rocky conversation.

Cassandra ignored the argument and turned to Enasal, who had lowered herself to sit in the grass beside Cole. “Enasal, I wonder if Cole is perhaps a mage, given his unusual abilities.”

“He can cause people to forget him.” Solas said, or even fail entirely to notice him.”

“That’s why Cullen forgot!” Enasal said with a snap of her fingers, “At the bonfire Cullen didn’t want to dance, so Cole just popped up and danced with me… well, he tried his best - and a few days ago he started saying things going through Cullen's mind when we were on a walk.” She leaned towards Cole and said, in a soft and gentle voice, “Right, da'isha?”

“Oh, darling, get away from it.” Vivienne asked with a shake of her head.

Solas nodded, smiling at Enasal obvious protectiveness, “That is not an ability of a mage. It seems that Cole is a spirit.”

“That…” Enasal said, “Makes perfect sense!” She turned to Cole, “Is that it, Cole? Are you a spirit from the Fade?”

Vivienne stepped forward, “It’s a demon.”

Enasal bristled, “No he isn’t!”

Solas put an on Enasal’s head to quiet her. He turned back to Vivienne, “If you prefer such a term, although the truth is somewhat more complex.

“He just wants to help people.” Enasal argued, “Outside of a fight, he wouldn’t hurt a fly. I’ve seen him catch spiders inside and put them in one of the gardens so they wouldn't get killed.”

“And how many demons ‘help’ before coming back later to claim their dues?” Argued Vivenne, “Somebody obviously summoned him.”

Something in Solas’s eyes showed he was getting irritated, but Enasal doubted the rest of them noticed. “In fact, his nature is not so easily defined.”

Cassandra, however, was visibly irritated, “Solas, speak plainly. What are we dealing with?”

“Demons normally enter this world by possessing something. In their true form they look bizarre, monstrous.”

Enasal looked at Vivienne and gestured to Cole’s face.

Cassandra furrowed her brow, “But you claim Cole looks like a young man. Is the boy possessed?”

Enasal looked from Cole to Cassandra, from the way Cassandra had said that, could she not see Cole?

Solas shook his head, “No. He has possessed nothing and no one, and yet appears human in all respects.” He looked down at his student, “Cole is unique, Enasal. He has managed to willfully manifest in human form without any form of possession. And as you have repeated, he wishes to help. I suggest we allow him to do so.”

“Of course we will.” Enasal said.

“That is unwise.” Vivienne argued, “Enasal, the creature is preying on your kindness. I would think your teacher would be more concerned for your welfare.”

Solas shook his head, “Enasal is bright, Vivienne, and in most cases a good judgement of character. I trust her judgement.”

“Lady Vivienne,” Enasal said, “I know he’s strange, but he’s a spirit. I’ve been aware in the fade plenty of times, and I’ve never encountered a spirit that didn’t do  _ something  _ strange.”

“And the matter of possession?” Vivienne asked.

“Cole has lived in our world for quite a while.” Solas said, “Perhaps years. He has chosen to look like a young man. For all intents and purposes, he is a young man.” He looked down at Cole as he continued to play with the grass. “It is remarkable.”

Enasal nodded, “Lady Vivienne, let me talk to Cole about it, I’m sure he can help explain it. Da’isha?” But Cole was gone.

Cassandra spoke up, “If none of us remember him, he could be anywhere.”

Solas nodded towards the medical tents, where Cole was wandering.

[ The Attic ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqiuG5ixVKE)

Cole kept his eyes fixed on the tents when Enasal walked up, only acknowledging her with a downward flick of his eyes.

“Some still recover from Haven, but many of illness.” Enasal lowered her head - four humans and three dwarf workers had come into contact with rashvine while tearing down a rotten structure. She hadn’t thought about the ivy that could be in cracks between wood and stone.

“Hot and full, dripping with poison and medicine.” He walked to one of the workers, “It burns, how will I. I cant. I won’t. My child, I will return.” Cole frowned and the man’s body gave a jerk. “Dead.” 

He shuddered.

Enasal put an arm on his shoulder, “Do you hear their pain?” She asked, “Or feel it?”

He shook his head, “It’s loud because they are so many. But not like before.”

Enasal reached for him, “Come on, da’isha, let’s go somewhere quieter.

Cole sidestepped her arm, “I can’t. I can help.” 

He kneeled beside each remaining bedside to three he stopped to whisper them into the afterlife. 

“Cracked brown pain, dry, scraping. Thirsty.” He kneeled and handed the woman some water, helping her drink. The woman rasped a word of thanks.

Cole turned to her, “It’s alright. She won’t remember me.”

“Cole,” Enasal said “You…. aren’t just a spirit from the Fade… are you?”

He shook his head, “I don’t think so.” He titled his head to one side, the effect almost comical, “I used to think I was a ghost.” He looked down, “I made mistakes… but I made friends too!” He started to worry his fingers around and his shoulders hitched.

“Then a templar proved I wasn’t real. I lost my friends... I lost everything.”

He finally looked at Enasal, “I learned how to be more like what I am.” Another tilt of the head, “It made me different, but stronger. I can feel more.”

His blue eyes were haunted as he spoke. It was earnest and pleading.

“I can help.”

Enasal nodded, “I know. Skyhold will be your home if you’ll have her.”

Cole was rolling his neck as he spoke, “Yes, helping. I help the hurt... There helpless, there’s someone." He took a few steps around the area, clearly searching for something specific. 

“Hurts, it hurts, it hurts, someone make it stop hurting,” And as the words escaped his lips, Cole grabbed a knife from his belt and kneeled by a human infected with rashvine. “Maker please…”

He sniffed, returning to his usual voice, no longer whispered and raspy. “The healers have done all they can. He pointed to his ears, “The rash is drying and he will not drink. Soon the skin will crack, and the poison will enter in and spread. He will be in agony and he doesn't want to hurt anymore.” He looked to Enasal, “He wants mercy… help.”

Cole reached up to wipe his eyes, “He’ll suffer until he dies alone in the night.”

Enasal’s blood turned cold. “Wait, Cole!” She said, “You can’t do that! He isn’t dead.”

“But he is hurting.”

Enasal stood in front of the man. “You know how I felt in the ice. You know how scared and afraid and in pain I was. You can read it.” She touched his shoulder, he jumped at the touch, then relaxed.

“I wanted to die. I begged to die. But I didn’t, I manag-”

“But you did die.”

That gave her pause. “Cole… you know that for sure?”

“Yes.”

She ran her fingers between her curls. “That… um....” She clapped her hands together, “That confirmation is actually very disconcerting to me…” 

Enasal shook her head back into focus, “Listen, Cole. I’ve seen plenty of people recover from rashvine - I think most of these will. I know he’s tired and I know he thinks he wants to die, but blind help isn’t always a good thing.”

He lowered his head, “But… his body is failing and he is hurting and crying out..”

“Da’isha.” She said, pulling the knife out of his hand, “This is not how we help people.”

He watched as she put the knife in her own belt for safe-keeping. 

“How do you know he’ll live?”

Enasal shook her head, “I don’t. He’s very sick though. But he might survive - if I let you kill him, then yes, his pain will end. Bthe question of whether you commited a mercy kill or a murder will always be there. I know you’re trying to help, but please, try to understand.” 

She pulled the knife out of her waistband and returned it to him.

“You’re welcome to stay Cole, but we do not kill people unless they have attacked you first and can fight back. Do you understand?”

Cole looked at his knife and stored it away. “Yes... thank you. I want to stay.”

Enasal waved him on and started towards Solas, but when she turned around Cole was standing stock still. She sighed and went back down.

“What’s wrong?”

He looked upward to the three figures that stood waiting for them. 

“Are they going to hurt me?”

Enasal followed his gaze, “Them? No, they’re not going to hurt you.”

“She wants for me to be gone.”

Enasal carefully took his hand, “Come on, da’isha, even if they try, I won’t let them hurt you.”

Cole had a vice grip on her arm as they passed Vivienne, “Cole.” She said firmly, “Lady Vivienne is a good lady, she will not hurt you.” When she turned and smiled at Vivienne. It was an earnest, sincere smile, “Lady Vivienne, I respect you as a person and I respect your opinion, but Cole is staying with us.” She nodded, “I promise you, we will watch him closely, and if the worst comes to pass then it’s nothing we can’t handle.” 

Solas smiled at her when she advanced, Cole in tow. “Where’s Cassandra?”

He shook his head, “She couldn’t see him and therefore couldn’t see why you were pacing around the medical tent - seemingly alone.”

Enasal turned to Cole. “Cole, are you able to pick who can and cannot see you?”

He nodded.

“If I asked you to let certain people see you, would you do that for me?”

“Probably.”

Enasal smiled, “Do I need to picture when I tell you about them.”

“Just say their names.” He said, “I’ll know them.”

For a second Enasal looked to Solas and he nodded.

“Solas.” She said, “Vivienne, Cassandra, Varric, The Iron Bull, Krem, Dorian, Blackwall, and my advisors Leliana, Josephine, and-”

“Cullen of course.” Cole finished. “I will, usually.”

Enasal glanced at Solas, who seemed suddenly interested in a cloud.

“Usually?”

“Sometimes, someone needs help, they can’t be allowed to see me.”

Enasal nodded, “That’s fine - but no killing except for defense, understand?”

“Yes.”

She turned to Solas, “Do you think we should try to give Cole his own space? Imagine being able to feel pain like he does.”

“Well thought, da’len. I’m sure you’ll need only to ask your advisors.”

Enasal nodded and turned to Cole, “Da’isha, I’m going to go do some painting, want to come?”

He seemed uncertain, and swayed left to right.

“Maybe.”

“Solas, would you like to join us?”

He chuckled, “‘Da’isha’, you call him. ‘Little man’?” and laid a hand on Enasal's head, “Strange child.”


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody could ever argue me out of thinking that craziness like this didn't happen at Skyhold.

##  Chapter 51

[ Coliseum Soundtrack  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ij3_VIJxd9s)

The clang of metal-on-metal rang through the evening air. Enasal landed on her feet and dodged to the side, going in for an attack at the side.

“Remember recruits.” Cassandra called out, “You are protecting something of importance - Enasal, is attempting to take that object.”

Weekly battle training had proven to be of great interest in Skyhold. It was entertainment for the groups that visited Skyhold and good training for the involved recruits. 

Enasal took a running leap in an attempt to get over the recruits and to the “important object”. The small flag planted in the ground was made to represent any sort of object, and had been laid flat, stuck into a crevice between bricks in a wall, and planted on the battlements in training battles past.

Her leap was blocked by a shield, and it thumped hard against her body and knocked her back to the ground. A practice sword swung toward her and she rolled away, shooting glances at her second blade that she had lost in the scuffle.

“Twenty sovereigns that Enasal’s stubbornness is going to get her knocked out of bounds.” Bull said.

Varric laughed, “You think I’m going to bet against my Seastorm?”

“She seems resourceful.” Blackwall agreed, “Twenty on Enasal’s victory.”

“Enasal is knocked out of bounds or Enasal’s Victory.” Dorian said, “Such a good concept, but 50/50 is just… awful. I bet that Enasal will launch  _ herself _ out of bounds.” She smiled and leaned forward, “She does struggle  _ so  _ without us.”

“I’m going in with Varric.” Krem said, moving so he sat beside the dwarf, “Because she has stupidly good luck and I  _ believe in her _ .” He pointed at Bull, “Traitors!”

“Traitors!” Varric echoed dramatically.

They both looked towards Blackwall who nodded and rattled out , “Traitors!”

Vivienne laughed, “So these are Enasal’s friends at their most natural.” 

“They’re a rowdy bunch, I’ll give you that, my dear.” Dorian replied, “But they’re an entertaining bunch as well.”

“Pardon me,” Vivenne said, “But I’d like to place a bet on Enasal’s victory.”

Before another work could be said, Enasal arched over the boundary ring. They weren’t the only group with bets going on, and you could tell who had won or lost money by the cheers that day. 

Enasal was up and shaking hands with the winning soldiers that had bundled into a group, discussing the exercise and giving one-another advice.

“Completely launched away and out.” Lieutenant Vodin, called from an elevated stand, “Enasal is out of bounds, and victory goes to Ser Landis, Ser Pyth, Ser Anderson, Ser Riana and Ser Bist.”

“The next group will conduct a training battle involving mounted soldiers and…”

“How many times must I remind you that shields are not to be stood on.” Cassandra said, experated, “If you have to stand on a shield it should be brief with intent to get off!” 

Enasal laughed. “I was trying to get my footing.”

“You did poorly.” 

[ Balamb Garden piano arrangement ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAvvc53FdU8)

She waved and took off. Enasal rarely spent too much time celebrating after a battle - too many eyes on her right after the fight. She slipped through the main hall and into the rotunda, where she pulled her sketches out of Solas’s desks and started getting her paints ready. 

“ _ Ma da’len.” _ Solas said as he returned to his own work - much closer to completion than Enasal’s, who had only managed to paint her background. 

“I know what I want - I see it in my head.” She shook her head, “But I’m worried about making it work on a wall.”

“Dilute your paints as much as possible.” Solas advised, “You can make a sort of sketch and paint over it.”

Enasal nodded and took his advice. She painted with a watery grey, looking back at her reference sketch every so often. 

“Do you mind telling me about your plan,  _ ma da’len?” _ He asked, “Or do you want to wait until it’s done?”

Enasal didn’t look up from her work. “It’s going to be two different halves. One before I came to the Inquisition, and one from now.” She looked towards the bottom, where the dividing line branched to create a triangle at the bottom, “And don’t even ask about that - I did it on a whim and haven’t figured out what to do with it.”

He laughed, “Sometimes, Enasal, you remind me of myself when I was younger.”

She looked around, as though he could be talking to someone else, “Me?”

“Young and temperamental - always ready for a fight.” He smiled, “Although, I never climbed every surface someone bet me to.”

Enasal shook her head with a grin, “You and Cullen, always scolding me.”

“Ah, the Commander doesn’t like it either?” He said, “I was under the impression he found it endearing.”

“Who told you that?”

“His lieutenant.” He said, “She was asking questions I refused to answer.”

“...Okay.” Enasal said, “Are you going to tell me?”

“No,  _ ma da’len _ .” He chuckled, “Nosy child.”

Enasal rolled her eyes and returned to her own wall. “Maybe… put tics at the tops of the heads?” She said, “Get an idea of where everyone will fall?”

“Try it.”

Dilute water and mix, tinkering of glass and ceramic. Brushes on plaster and cloth.

“Grandmother said that my parents loved old ruins.” Enasal said.

“Did they, now?”

Enasal nodded, “That’s how they met, showing and copying sketches of elven ruins at the Arlathvhen. She said at first she didn’t like my mother, that she encouraged a hobby that could get him hurt or lost.” 

“And then?”

“They started bringing back things - my father didn’t record a lot of things he found because she disapproved. All keepers pray for the return of our own knowledge, but most parents pray their children won’t be the ones running through ruins.” 

She stepped back to look at what she had done before leaning forward and trying to coax the shapes she wanted from the wall. “Old magic and traps, wild animals and cultists, you can find them all around the ruins - I’ve been there. I walked around ruins my clan camped away from.” She shook her head, “Slept in them sometimes, especially if it was raining. My grandmother didn’t like  _ him _ doing it either. But the things she said my father brought back were wonderful. That we didn’t really know what we had found, but that it was ours.”

She paused before continuing, “Solas… I know you don’t like the Dalish-”

“Fortunate that you are so unlike them.”

“You’ll never hear me fight for my clan, but Solas, the rest of them are trying their best. They just want to have what was lost.”

“Perhaps things are too lost.”

“Why does that mean we should stop?”

Solas moved the brush from his work at that and pondered, before repositioning himself to speak directly to his student, “Suppose you do. You search your entire lifetime for the Elves of yore and find barely enough to fill a single book?”

She glanced back at him, “Then I found some things.”

“But,” He pointed out, “Not all of it.”

“That’s okay.” She argued, “Because finding a little is better than finding nothing.” She turned back to her painting, “I bring it up, because I’ve decided that if we run into any of my people, I would like to invite them to support the Inquisition. Maybe try to work some sort of research team - you or even Dorian could lead. What we need is organization - and not just every ten years.”

Solas’s expression was a bit sharper than normal, maybe as it had been in the youth he spoke of - a hint of a smile and a mild threat of a chuckle, “Remarkable. You really do sound like my younger self.” He paused with the thought before standing and dusting off his pants, “We must keep a closer eye on you than I thought.” 

He gestured for her to come beside him and pointed to his final wall. “Finished. Your opinion,  _ ma da’len?” _

Enasal nodded, “I love it. It feels like being back at one of the temples.” 

“Would you like to hear the story?” He had asked it before he saw anyone in the doorway, but instead nodded a greeting before getting his own paints.

“Actually” Solas said, “Why not put your paints away, you have a visitor who has been hovering in the doorway.”

Enasal perked up at seeing Cullen, and waved him in.

“I wasn’t sure if I was allowed.” He said, looking at the walls.

“Those are Solas’s.” Enasal said, “Mine is still… a background.” 

He stood beside her and looked, “Well, it’s an exceptional background.”

She bumped her shoulder into him, “Hush, you.”

Solas cleared his throat, “Did you need something in particular, Commander, or just to chat with Enasal?”

“Right.” He shook his head, “We’re wanted in the war room.” He paused, “Well,  _ you’re _ wanted, I was sent to get you. So you’re wanted in the war room.”

Solas shook his head but continued to put away his paints.

“I…” Cullen began, “I talked to the Ferelden mages.”

Enasal nodded, “And?”

“The eldest forgave me, two didn’t seem to care either way, and three told me if they had a chance they’d set me on fire.” He forced a smile, “Eldest wouldn’t let them, though.”

“I’m sorry it didn’t go better.”

He nodded, “As you said, they might not forgive.”

Solas went to Enasal and took her supplies from her, “Both of you, to the war room. Talk on your way there.” He looked at Enasal, “I’m sure it would be a nicer conversation without your teacher listening in.” He nodded at Cullen, “Commander. Another time.”

Unsure of what to think of Solas’s words, Enasal and Cullen bade him awkward goodbye and left for the war room.

[ Melodies Of Life  ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifZLzeXzUIg)

“How do you feel?” Enasal asked.

Cullen sighed and shook his head, “I don’t know. Opened up a lot of old wounds, for everyone involved.”

“That’s okay. Sometimes that has to happen.”

Cullen nodded, but seemed disheartened.

“I’m with you on this.” Enasal said. “I have things I have to work on, too.”

“You?” He furrowed his brow.

“Me.” She said, “I… have a lot of problems with Tevinter. And I realized that I couldn’t expect you to work on your problems if I wasn’t willing to work on myself.” 

“It’s that bad?”

“Remember how I reacted to Alexius?”

“Ah, yes. That.” 

“I apologized to Dorian, he laughed and said he was happy I hadn’t tried to stab him like I had Alexius.”

Cullen couldn't help but ask, “What about Krem? You two seem… very close.”

Enasal laughed, “The  _ masa _ , he just thumped me in the head and told me he didn’t know what I was talking about.” She smiled, “He’s kind of like Shiral, only less overbearing.” 

She sighed, “So, I’m trying too. Reminding myself that all those hateful thoughts about people from Tevinter may not be true, and I can’t pass judgement on anyone just because they call that country home or came from there.”

“Maker’s breath, you really are that sincere, aren’t you?”

She looked down and laughed, but her ears were red.

They didn’t speak until they were just outside the war room.

“I… do want to warn you.” Cullen said, “You’re about to be sent out again - in a few days.”

Enasal sighed and nodded, “I figured it wouldn’t be too much longer.”

“It should actually be something you might have fun with.” He smiled, “We’ll talk more after the war meeting.” He said, “A time or two around the battlements?” 

She laughed and nodded, “I think I’d like that.”


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A quick briefing covering the concern over robbed caravans and missing soldiers in Fallow Mire.  
> Because everyone knows it's haunted.  
> And pants.

[ SeeD - Orchestral ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGLJwaRGD9I)

“What took you so long?” Leliana laughed, seeming a bit worn down.

Enasal rose a hand in greeting, “It’s good to see you back in one piece.”

“And you as well,” Leliana laughed, “Especially considering someone’s been climbing the battlements.”

Enasal threw her hands up in the air, “How does everyone know about that? It was three in the morning!”

“Guards get bored.” Cullen said, “They talk.”

“Thank you, Commander.” Josephine said, “Would you like to discuss what you had for Enasal?”

He nodded, “A strange one. Shipments have been… I don’t really want to say ‘attacked’.” He looked back and they all shrugged. “But attacked - and robbed of specific items.”

Enasal glanced between her three advisors, “Like?”

“Ingredients for sweets..” Josephine said.

“And pants.” Leliana said.

“Sweets… and pants?” Enasal asked, “New pants or… like, somebody’s pants?”

“Both.” Cullen said, successfully keeping a straight face.

Enasal laughed.

“It’s not funny.” Josephine said.

Cullen had crossed his arms and was looking around the room..

Leliana smiled, “It’s a little funny.”

“But, but-” Enasal laughed, “Are they just running around without pants? Clothes from the waist up but just small clothes and socks and shoes and-” She dissolved into laughter.

Leliana was trying to hold her laughter back and Cullen had his face covered and his shoulders shook with silent laughter.

“Commander!” Josephine said, “I expected this from Enasal and a bit from Leliana, but not you!” She tutted, “Enasal, we’re sending you to go investigate. I don’t think there's any real danger-”

Cullen burst into laughter.

“But!” Josephine said, clearly getting irritated with all of them, “To be safe, we’re sending you and Bull - I think you two should be able to handle it yourselves.”

Cullen managed to gather himself, “We think there's only one or two operatives.” He chucked and caught himself before moving on. They don’t seem to have any real malice in the attacks but to be a bother.”

Enasal nodded.

“After that.” Leliana said, her face growing solemn, “I need to send you and a few others to investigate the Fallow Mire.” She shook her head, “My people and I went to investigate some missing soldiers but they… got spooked.”

_ “Your _ spies got spooked?” Enasal asked.

Leliana nodded, “I felt uncomfortable as well - there were rifts, and without being able to seal them, it was a pointless venture.”

“The rifts spooked them?”

Leliana shook her head, “Most of them turned around before we saw the first rift.”

“So we send Enasal.” Cullen muttered.

“We send the one with the mark that can seal rifts.” Leliana snapped, “If you’ve forgotten, our King has asked the Inquisition.”

“Of course, we’ll investigate.” Enasal interrupted, “He offered to ask for volunteers to help our cause, I would be more than happy to help him back.”

“That’s where all the Ferelden soldiers came from.” Cullen said.

“Back to the matter at hand.” Josephine said, “You and Bull will leave tomorrow morning to investigate the shipments - just follow the road.” She looked back at her clipboard, “And when you return, you will have a day of rest and then travel to the Fallow Mire.”

Enasal nodded and saluted.

"I'll go talk to my friends now." She said. "Anything else for me?" 

Josephine shook her head, "No, that's all we have."

"Do you have any questions?" Leliana asked.

Enasal shook her head.

"I'll walk you to the tavern." Cullen said, "Which one?"

Enasal smiled at the others and waved before waiting by the door for Cullen, "The Bird in the Hand."

"Of course, you go there." He shouldered the door open and led the way out, "With all the taverns, you choose the roughest one?"

Enasal laughed, "Well, Varric goes there so I just kind of followed him. Then all the others followed me, and now that's our tavern."

He shook his head, but it wasn't long before his smile fell. 

"Enasal, you need to be very careful there, the Fallow Mire is very dangerous."

"Everywhere you guys send me is dangerous." She turned, arms spread wide, "Don't worry, I'll find those soldiers!"

"Enasal, everyone knows…" He shook his head, "Look, don't the Dalish have stories…” He trailed off and changed course, “It's a bog. If you’re not careful, you could step wrong-”

She laughed, "I know how to walk in a bog, Cullen."

"...It occurs to me that needing to get through a bog is something you would have learned from your own travels."

She laughed.

"It's...the water is full of dead bodies eaten up from plague." He said, "You have to watch your wounds, if anything gets in them it could fester."

“I’ll be careful.”

He groaned and shook his head, “Fine, I’ll say it. The place is cursed - it’s haunted.” He shook his head, “Every Ferelden knows it.”

Enasal paused, and nodded. “I’ll make sure to take Solas - I’m sure he has experience with things like that.”

“Thank you.”

“After I’m done talking with Bull, could we have that walk?”

He smiled, “Of course.”

“Do you have to go back to your office or do you want to come in with me? The Bird in the Hand isn’t as bad as you think.”

“Enasal, do you have any idea how many times one of my men has come to drill with a black eye from a bar brawl in there?”

“Oh, that only happens once - maybe twice a week.”

“Oh, only once or twice a week. I feel so much better.”

“Come on!” She said as they neared the tavern, grabbing his arm and pulling him in.

It was rowdy, one of the bards could be heard nearby, but her voice disappeared into the cacophony of laughter, talking, and the occasional shout.

Enasal glanced at Cullen, “I promise, it’s not usually this crazy. Usually you can hear Maryden singing."

“Sweet Maker, Enasal.” 

She laughed and started towards Bull’s regular spot, but was distracted when she saw Varric in the crowd. 

“Varric!” She called, completely sidetracked.

“Seastorm!” 

Enasal happily plopped in an empty seat, “Look who I brought!.”

“Ah, Curly.” Varric said bowing his head.

Cullen couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic.

“What brings you to our humble drinking hole?”

“Enasal.”

Varric laughed, “She tends to do that.” 

“Varric,” Enasal said, “Guess what Bull and I get to do?”

“If he’s going to throw you, I better be there.”

“Throw her?!” Cullen said, “Why in the world-”

Varric continued on, “Someone’s got to keep track of the bets. How far will he throw Seastorm?”

Enasal shook her head, “No, no, it’s better than that!”

“Better?” Varric asked.

“So, some of the supply wagons have been getting robbed, so we’re going to investigate it. Now, listen closely. Nothing important is being stolen - but things to make sweets with and… wait for it.”

She held her silence for a few seconds before saying, “Pants.”

“Pants?”

“Pants!”

“Wait, so if any of them sleep without pants, they… just don’t have pants?”

“Yes!” Enasal laughed.

Cullen was trying to keep it together - he had already spotted at least a half-dozen of his soldiers there, and the last thing he needed was for them to see him cracking up from something so stupid.

Varric laughed, loud and with mirth. He pulled Enasal to him and hugged her, “See? This is why you’re in the top three of my favorite people.”

“Are you going to put it in a book?”

“Of course I’m going to put it in a book.”

“Enasal.” Cullen said, “The Bull?”

She snapped her fingers, “Yes, Bull.” She waved to Varric, “I’m going to go talk to him about it.”

“Careful, Seastorm, it’s crazy tonight.” He leaned forward, “I’m guessing an hour or two before we get a fight.”

“I’ll watch for flying tankards.” She said with a final wave.

“Curly!” Varric said, “Stay for a drink?”

Cullen watched Enasal go and awkwardly sat down, “I don’t really drink these days.”

“Fine, we’ll wait until Enasal get’s back. You should really come to eat here one day, Cook loves her and Enasal can basically get whatever she wants here.”

Varric chuckled and nodded towards the Bull’s usual spot, where Enasal had become sidetracked again and was talking to Krem. “Those two - you should see them when they bicker - like a couple of siblings.” He laughed, “They have this stupid game they play. They grab hands and just shove against each other ‘till one is knocked over. Krem always wins because he’s so much bigger than her.” He leaned back and hit the table with another bout of laughter, “Krem let go once, and Seastorm landed right on her face. Then she got up and punched him in the chest.”

“I swear.” He continued, “They could be brother and sister - did you know their namedays are within a week of each other?”

Cullen shifted his weight in the chair, wishing Enasal would hurry so they could leave.

“Bull says it’s good for him - says it lets him have some of the stupid, childish behavior he missed out on as a kid. Same for Seastorm.” He glanced at Cullen, “There’s a lot of familial love there.” 

Bull burst out laughing, nearly knocking Enasal off his shoulder. Krem had leaned to the side in his chair and was saying something between laughs.

Enasal was nodding, cackling and clapping her hands.

“You’re smiling, Curly.”

Cullen stood and shook his head, “I should go get her. She and Bull are supposed to leave out early tomorrow. There’s much that needs to be done.” 

Varric laughed, “I’m sure. Have fun on your nightly walk.”


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sera is in the house, and Enasal has no idea what to do with her.

The caravan had already been robbed.

Only one cart this time, and the men who had been guarding it stood awkwardly with ill-fitting pants that they had no-doubt borrowed from someone. 

“I was wearing them!” One of them insisted, “That’s the rub of it all.”

“Your pants were stolen… while you were wearing them?” Enasal asked.

“He’s telling the truth, boss.” Bull said. Enasal had opened her mouth to ask how he knew so he cut her off with a grin and a simple, “Spy.”

“Right.” Enasal said, returning the smile before turning back towards the two men. “Tell us everything.”

The second one shook his head, “Woke up, saw we’d been robbed. There it is.”

The two men continued to talk to Enasal while Bull started investigating the cart. Inside, outside, under and above. He covered each side and then started to look around nearby.

“Boss.” Bull said, holding up a sheet of paper. He handed it to her and whispered, “If you need help, just put your back to me and I’ll tell you what it says.”

Enasal nodded and tried to fold the paper so she had a straight edge she could read along - she wasn’t exactly comfortable whipping out the reading stick. Plus, the letter was short.

Despite that she turned to look at Bull - after all, she had an excuse in her struggle to read it. “Whoever wrote this has horrific handwriting.”

Bull laughed, “Wondering if you’d notice.”

“That was mean.” She squinted at the letter, “I think…’Inquisition, you're big - almost the biggest right now. But are you helping the little people?” She glanced up at Bull and shrugged, “If you’re smart as you are big, you’ll find me.” With a picture of a crudely drawn person next to a few buildings.”

She looked at Bull.

“A few towns are starting to grow up nearby - closer to trade posts, benefiting from the pilgrimage roads.”

Enasal nodded, “We should have a look around.”

The nearest post was less than a mile away and had a few hastily-built buildings to accommodate the new influx of travelers. A basic inn, a chantry, and a tavern. Enasal once again looked to Bull. 

“Any ideas who we’re looking for?”

Bull shook his head, “Got an idea how they think, but hard to say anything-” 

Before she could even register the whistle of an arrow by her ear, Enasal was grabbed and thrown to the ground.

“You ruined it!”

An elf, blonde and thoroughly irritated, strode towards them, “I wasn’t going to hit her!” 

“You just shot an arrow at the Inquisitor.” Bull said, “Explain.”

The woman - maybe closer to a girl - tilted her head and grinned, “You’ve heard of Friends of Red Jenny?”

Bull didn’t even wait for Enasal to ask, “Secret organization. Terrorists or do-gooders depending on who you ask.”

“Yeah, if you ask the arse-hat nobles and rich twats!”

Enasal held her hands up, “We’re not any of those things…” She glanced up at Bull, “Well, some of us are some of those things, but not enough of an arse or a twat to hurt anyone.”

The woman stopped - and laughed. 

“Alright, yeah?” She said with a wide smile, “Well, you did find me so… oh.”

“Oh, what?” Enasal asked.

“You’re not one of those ‘we should reclaim what was lost’ elves are you?”

Enasal looked at Bull, who shrugged. 

“I mean, it’s all good, innit?” She looked her up and down - it reminded Enasal of a snake examining something, sussing them up as friend or foe. “Thing is, you glow? The Herald dash Inquisitor thingy?”

Bull recognized Enasal’s I’ve-been-recognized panic face. She had gotten good at hiding it, but her eyebrows still rose slightly and a few fluttering blinks. 

“I…  _ think so?” _

The girl laughed, it was a sort of warbling laugh, and Enasal felt herself smile.

“My people thought the Inquisition could do a lot of good.”

“Your people?”

“Name’s Sera.” She said, “Let’s get a bite to eat, yeah?” She started towards the tavern, “Promise, it’s on the house.”

Bull looked at Enasal, “Stop looking at me like that. What do  _ you _ think-  _ boss _ ?”

“I’m still confused by the ‘Herald dash Inquisitor thingy’ statement.”

He laughed and shook his head, “She was saying punctuation, just ignore the word ‘dash’.”

“Thingy?”

“Slang. If you’re not sure what something is, you could call it that - on second thought, no, it’s a made-up word, don’t use it.”

“Thank you.” She gestured for Bull to follow her, “Let’s get some food, I’ll make a better decision with a full stomach.”

“That was it.” Bull said, “The most ‘Enasal’ sentence that will ever be said.” 

“Hush, you.”

Sera was waiting on a corner table, already with food on it.

“Just waited for someone to come ‘round the corner.” She said, “Up the hill - here you are.”

Enasal took a chair, while Bull opted to lean against the wall beside Sera. She looked at him and rolled her eyes before grinning at Enasal. “Men, yeah? Always gotta be looming over everything.”

Enasal shrugged, “I wouldn’t know, everything kind of looms over me.”

Sera laughed, “You’re a strange one, I like that.” She leaned forward, “How do I join?”

Another glance at Bull.

Sere turned around to look at him, “What’s he, then? You’re boss?”

“Bodyguard.” Bull replied.

Enasal couldn’t tell if he was actually irritated or just playing the part of a grumpy bodyguard.

“Mind your business!” She snapped before turning back to Enasal.

Enasal was quick to intervene, “Slow down. You didn’t like Bull’s explanation, then why don’t  _ you _ tell me about your people.”

Sere’s fingers played along the table as she thought, “It’s like this: I started making a fuss and nicking things from your shipments. Took you awhile to notice, but here you are - just like they said you’d be.”

“Back up.” Enasal said, “Who said I’d be here?”

“Keep up, will you?” Sera said with a grin, “My friends. The Friends of Red Jenny.” She pointed to herself, “That’s me!”

“So, you’re their leader?”

“Well…” She hesitated, “That’s now how it works.” She pointed to herself again, before pointing in random directions as she listed, “I’m one. So is a fence in Montfort, some woman in Kirkwall, there’s, like… two? Three? Yeah, three in Starkhaven, brother’s or something.” 

Sera leaned back, “Always forget about one of ‘em. ‘Dunno why.” She refocused on Enasal, “It’s just a name, yeah? It let’s little people, ‘Friends’ be part of something while they stick it to nobles they hate.”

He pointed to herself again, “So here, in your face, I’m Sera. ‘The Friends of Red Jenny’ are sort of out there.” She pointed in a vague direction, “I can use them to help you. Plus arrows.”

Enasal tried to avoid looking at the Bull for guidance. “So, you want to join the Inquisition? And your ‘friends’ will help us? Like spies or soldiers?”

Sera sighed and leaned forward, speaking slowly as though Enasal and Bull were not understanding a simple matter. “Here’s how it works. You ‘important’ people are up here, shoving your cods around.” She put on a dramatic voice, “Blah, blah, I’ll crush you, I’ll crush  _ you!”  _

As she made kissing noises and changed the voice to one that seemed to be enjoying itself, Enasal could not help but to look at Bull with raised eyebrows. He mimicked the gesture and shook his head.

Sera hadn’t quite picked up on it, too wrapped up in her own explanation, “Take a step down, and you’ve got big lords with big purses, and all the arselickers who follow.” She glanced at the food, some meat pies with a plate of cookies and small cakes off to the side. Sera grinned and grabbed one of the cookies, talking between bites. Enasal kept trying to ask questions, but couldn’t seem to get a word in edgewise. 

“You got to listen to the little people down below.” She continued, “Or you risk your breeches, and all that other stuff.” She waved the cookie meaningfully.

Enasal heaved a sigh, “Those were made with the ingredients stolen from our caravans, weren’t they?”

Sera laughed, “Passing on the goods - little town like this needs some help, yeah?” When she saw Enasal’s less-than-pleased look, she tried to explain, “Look, do you need people or not? I want to get everything back to normal.”

Enasal looked up at Bull, “Thoughts?”

“We’ve taken in everyone else we met.” He said with a chuckle, “What’s another one?”

Enasal nodded, “I agree.” She put out her hand, “Welcome to the Inquisition.” 

Sera went to shake her hand, but jerked it back at the last second with a cackle.

Enasal and Bull walked their horses back, since Sera didn’t have one and Enasal insisted on staying together. Bull could tell she didn’t fully trust their new additions, but wanted to give her a chance. She wanted to keep an eye on her.

Finally back at Skyhold, Enasal was attempting to show Sera around the hold, but she seemed distracted and somewhat bored. 

“Bull, I’m not very good with ages.” Enasal said while Sera was busy poking around one of the taverns. “But she seems really young, don’t you think?”

He nodded, “Teenager, maybe twenty at most.”

“That seems about right.” Enasal said, “I’ll see if we can find someone willing to look after her.” She rolled her eyes when she saw Bull’s expression, “Just check on her from time to time, not a full blown… um…”

“Nanny?”

“Yes, one of those things.”

Bull laughed.

Enasal managed to give most of her friends a quick introduction of Sera, who seemed more than happy to meet Varric and Blackwall (she was very excited about his beard) but fully rejected the mages. Luckily, they all took it in good stride and ignored Sera’s declaration of how much she hated magic.

“This is going to be a lot of work, boss.”

“I know, I know.” Enasal said, rubbing her temples and mouthing “Sorry.” To Solas, who simply shooed them to their next destination with a small smile, patting Enasal’s head as she passed him.

Sera was loud, she was rude, and she didn’t really care who complained.

Enasal saw a bit of her sister in Sera. Just as loud and occasionally rude to people beyond her own circle of interest.

She wondered if something had happened to Sera.

“Enasal - my friend!” 

Enasal prepared for her favorite Orleasian projectile.

Annason ran to hug her friend, happily chattering over every detail of the day that Enasal missed in Skyhold. As she usually did, Enasal attempted her best at paying attention and pulling apart the fast-paced discussion, but Sera had yet to build up a tolerance for Annnason’s… Annason-ness.

“You - Orleasian!” She snapped. When Annason turned from Enasal, Sera shouted, “Shut up! You’re friggin’ screeching!” 

“Sera!” Enasal snapped back, “Annason is my friend and Skyhold is my home. I’m sorry you have some objections to some of the people here but-”

Enasal stopped herself and took a breath, pretending for a moment she was speaking to her sister. “Listen, try to understand. Everyone here traveled very far to get here and they all work very hard. I know you’ve probably traveled far yourself and I’m sure you're tired. Let me talk to my advisors and we’ll find you some food and a place to sleep. Sounds good?”

Sera muttered something akin to a yes and Enasal forced a smile. “Do you want to come with me, or go ahead and get something to eat? It’s getting late, so it might take some time to find someone.” 

Bull seemed more than happy to intervene, “Sera, right? Let’s get some food.”

Sera muttered again but went along with Bull.

Enasal reminded herself that Sera was young, and she needed to be patient with her.

She also felt the sudden pang of desperation to see her sister again.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal continues to be unnerved that she is technically allowed to give orders to her friends. She receives some gifts to make her travels easier.

“Are you sure you want to come?” Enasal asked, “You might find it boring.”

Annason shook her head, “No, my friend, I want to see what you do! I enjoy watching you lead.”

“I’m sorry you didn’t get the job as my attendant.” Enasal lied. She had grown fond of Annason, but not so fond that she wanted her around all day every day.

Annason sighed, “Myself as well. But, being Lady Mountilyet’s assistant has been marvelous! I have been learning so much - and she lets me tailor her clothes!”

Enasal smiled. Only Annason would be so excited about being allowed to tailor clothes.

She went into the tavern, mostly empty this early in the morning. Sera was sitting off by herself, feet on the table and scribbling on a piece of torn paper. 

Enasal leaned towards Annason, “I know it was rocky when you first met, but can you go sit near Sera so she’s not alone. Please?”

Annason nodded, “Only for you. I will… what was your phrasing? You said it a few days ago… something with honey?”

Enasal snapped her fingers, “Catch more… spiders? No… flies? Flies!” She nodded to herself, “You’ll catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.”

They parted, and Enasal waved to the group.

“Hello everyone!”

Various hellos were said back.

“The Inquisition was asked by King Alistar of Ferelden to search the Fallow Mire for some missing soldiers. When Leliana and some of her people went out to investigate, they were met with rifts and a lot of her people were very spooked by the area and a lot of them ended up turning tail and running.”

Varric shook his head, “Seastorm, I hate to say it, but I’m not going to a bog.”

Enasal’s face fell, “But… you’ve always gone with me.”

“I know, and I would if I could, but dwarves can’t swim.” He shook his head, “We sink like stones, and if the water is deep enough to go over my head, all it’ll take is for me to get stuck in the mud and I’m dead - you know the mud can suck you down, right?”

“Scout Harding will be there.” Enasal offered.

Blackwell nodded, “A fair point.”

“And I guarantee you she’ll be on the edge of it.” Varric argued.

“Look, boss,” Bull offered, “The man’s right. Dwarves and water don’t mix. Playing the is-it-earth-or-is-it-water game isn’t fun for anyone, but when you can’t swim, it’s bad.”

“But if we’re careful-”

“Have you ever traveled through a bog?” Bull interrupted.

“Yes.”

“Have stepped wrong and landed in water?”

Enasal sighed, “Yes.”

“Do you want that to happen to Varric?”

“No.”

Vivienne nodded, “Darling, I know you’re quite attached to Varric, but you don’t  _ need _ him. I promise the world will not fall apart if you’re not within running distance.”

Varric spoke up, “Besides, Chuckles will go with you.”

Enasal looked at him, “Is that okay with you?”

Solas nodded, “Of course,  _ ma da’len _ . It will be interesting to investigate the claims of haunted and cursed.” He leaned back in his chair, “We should do some Fade study while we’re there.”

Enasal perked up considerably, “Anyone else?”

“Not me.” Sera said, “Friggin’ ghosts and curses? No.”

“I will go!” Cole said, standing up.

Varric laughed, “You’re not leaving right now, Kid, sit back down.”

Enasal smiled, “I’d be happy to have you Cole - you could really help Solas and I.”

Bull rolled his eyes, “Great, the three stringbeans are going together.” He raised his hand, “I’ll go to, if only to yank the three of you out of the mud.”

Enasal clapped, “Yes! Thank you all so much! Everyone else-” 

Sere scooted out her chair and left.

Enasal sighed, “We leave out tomorrow. Everyone else,  _ please _ be kind and make an effort with Sera while I’m gone. I know she seems mean and kind of rude, but I think she’s just scared.”

There were a few grumbles.

“Seriously!” Enasal said, “She’s young and she’s scared, just  _ try.” _

Blackwall looked over the group when the complaints returned, “Your commanding officer has just issued you all a request. She could make it an order if need be.”

Everyone looked at Enasal, while she darted her eyes around. “I’m… what?”

“You’re of the highest rank.” Blackwall said, “You are the Inquisitor. That puts you above anyone else. Therefore, you are all of our commanding officer. You give an order, we follow.”

Clapping her hands together, Enasal proclaimed, “I find that information a little upsetting. I’m sorry, Blackwall, but I’m going to have to ignore what you just said.”

He laughed, “Shy of the power you weild? Good. Humility is good.”

The next morning the group was getting ready to go. Enasal was hugging Varric and obviously trying not to cry.”

“I’m going to be right here when you come back.” He said, “You know I’m not going anywhere without you.”

Enasal nodded, rubbing at her eyes. She already felt the ache of the separation. 

She said her goodbyes to the others staying behind, doling out hugs, salutes,or waves depending on the person. When she came to Annason, the woman threw her arms around Enasal’s neck.

“Oh,  _ do _ be careful, my friend.” She said, “Here, to keep your hair out of your eyes.” She carefully placed a clip on one side of Enasal’s head, laughing, “Female chevaliers wear them, you can shake and shake and shake and it will not come out!” She leaned in, “And, that little flower has a little reservoir for perfume!”

Annason laughed at Enasal’s expression, “Oh, I know - ‘but, Annason! I cannot smell like flowers on the field of battle!’ Do not worry, there is but a drop, so that you can decide if you like it. The smell will wear off within the next few days, far before you reach your destination.”

Enasal laughed and hugged her friend, “Thank you, Annason. I’ll find something to try to see what it looks like - I’m sure it’s beautiful.” She tilted her head, “And it does smell nice.”

“It is the same perfume I put in your hair in Orlais!” She said.

“I thought it was familiar.” Enasal said, taking Annason’s hands. “Thank you, I’ll miss you.” They did their “Orleasian Commoner Goodbye”, as Cullen had taken to calling it, and Annason scuttled back to her own work.

Enasal reached up to feel along the clip, finally locating the flower attached. She wondered what kind of flower it was. She looked at Vivienne, “Are these really worn by chevaliers?”

Vivienne nodded and laughed, “Usually they don’t have flowers on them, but it is a rather fetching addition to it, wouldn’t you say?” She seemed to think to herself, “That girl has quite the eye.”

_ “Ma da’len _ , we should leave soon.” Solas said.

Enasal nodded, patting her horse as she alway did before she mounted.

“Enasal - a moment!”

She took her foot out of the stirrup and waved to Cullen.

“Another warning?” She laughed.

“No - well, yes.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Here, take this. 

He handed her a small circular pendant. 

Enasal examined the clip on the back before turning it over, “It’s Andraste! Oh, she looks so beautiful!”

Cullen nodded, “I know you’re people don’t reveer her, but…” He trailed off.

“Oh, I love Andraste.” Enasal said, “She freed our people from slavery.” She paused before saying, “I guess I’m a little Andrastian.”

Cullen seemed to relax at that comment, “I didn’t want to offend, but…” Again, he trailed off.

“Well, I think the Creator and the Maker are the same thing, but I revere in Andraste and believe in the Elven gods.” She opened her coat and placed it on an inside pocket before closing it back, 

“Right over my heart.” She said. “Thank you Cullen, you’re very sweet.”

Bull was getting impatient, “Enasal, we need to leave - remember the soldiers?”

That snapped Enasal back, “Coming!” She waved to Cullen and got on her horse.

“Be careful.” He repeated.

“Solas is with me.” She reassured, “Besides, Varric already told everyone that if anything happened to me, to not even bother coming back because they’ll be getting very intimate with Bianca.”

She gave a soft whistle to start her horse along and was quickly followed by the others.

Soldiers saluted and people shouted. Cullen put his hands behind his back and waited for them to disappear around the first bend.

She smelled of lilies and clover.


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiral is nearing Skyhold.  
> Nobody knows she's coming.  
> Nobody knows how to prepare.

Shiral let loose another arrow, felling the fox as it attempted to flee. 

She picked it up by its oversized ear and returned to the small fire she had started. Enasal would have shouted and jumped and caused so much of a commotion that they would have been done hunting for the day.

Enasal was a  _ terrible _ hunter. No stealth, no tact, just pure and overzealous reaction.

How in the world was she faring leading an army?

It made no sense - none. Enasal had never even been in a real fight. Granted, when their clan set up in a spot for long enough, her little sister would fashion together some sort of dummy to practice fighting with her blades. But a real, breathing thing? Even on her successfull hunts, it had been dumb luck. 

No arrows for her though, because blades are just ‘so neat!’. 

Every time she thought of that, the guilt came creeping back.

Enasal, so bright with hope and excitement, bouncing back towards the edge of their clan after a long day of Arlathvhen activities - of being able to meet and talk with her own people for the first time she could remember. They gave little trinkets to teenagers Enasal’s age, little things that said “I was good at this!” 

Enasal returned clinking with trinkets and wielding blades. She had shown Shiral what she had learned into the circle group. The teacher had been impressed with her, and his son more so. 

So much, Enasal had told her, that he had given her his own blades as a gift.

A boy had given them to her.

Shiral had screamed at her. 

Why would you take a present from a boy?

Never take a present from a boy!

What is wrong with you?

Are you stupid?

Enasal, no, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry! Please stop crying, they’re good blades! Look how many things you won! I’m sorry, I was worried, I just love you, I don’t want anything to happen to you!

Their grandmother scolded her for it, said she had been cruel to ruin something so special. Enasal had been so young during the last Arlathvhen that she had spent most of it clasping their grandmother’s hand, too small and delicate to warrant being let loose with the other children.

The other Keepers laughed and patted Enasal’s head. At first she cried at the unfamiliar touch, but later seemed so keen on that same approval that she would hop up and down around them, show them little tricks a child could do, just for a kind word.

And they loved her. She sang rhymes and poetry and they fawned over the child with the pretty voice and sudden wild spirit. The other Keeper’s approval had made their own clan upset. 

How could  _ Da’Fen’Harel _ , be any good to the other Keepers, don’t they see it?”

After that, Enasal was deemed old enough to fully serve her sentence.

For a week, nothing but crying came from the back of the clan and if anyone helped, they received a harsh reminder of the new rules. For everything else, the clan went to their Keeper, Enasal and Shiral’s grandmother.

But when it came to Enasal, they went to her grandmother's second.

It shouldn’t have happened - an entire clan overriding a keeper over such a horrible matter. Sentencing an infant to banishment, and ripping a girl barely five years old from her grandmother’s arms.

Her grandmother should have stopped it.

Shiral would never forgive her.


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Fallow Mire.  
> Where hopes are dashed and people complain.

They left their horses with Scout Harding at the forward camp, nearly a mile from Fallow Mire proper. It had been a skeletron crew, as very few seemed willing to get even that close. As they neared, Cole covered his nose with his hands and shook his head. 

“It’s okay, _ da’isha.” _ Enasal soothed. “I know it doesn’t smell very good, but you’ll get used to it.” 

He nodded.

“Is it too loud?”

He tilted his head, “There are so many voices, all crying out at once.” He shook his head, “But I cannot help them, they’re echos. Echos that are far away by now.”

Everything about the place seemed unsettled - boiling clouds rumbled with thunder and assaulted the earth with jagged lightning. Even the ‘good’ places to step had enough give to make someone stumble if they were paying attention, and when they first came to a rift Enasal stood nearby in a moment of macabre fascination.

“It’s… different.” She said, “Bigger, more…” She snapped her fingers and looked at Solas, saying something in Dalish as she struggled for the right word. 

“Unstable.” He said, “You want to stay, unstable.” 

Enasal whispered the word to herself before glancing at the water, then back at the rift. “We have to find another way around.” She said, her eyes tracing the outline between water and possible earth. 

“I think there’s a way to get around.” Bull said, pointing to a rocky outcrop, “Hug the stone wall, looks like there’s some solid ground there - won’t know until we poke it for sure.” 

Enasal took point while Bull took up the rear, ready to pluck any of them out of the muck.

“Please be careful.” Shouted back, “You’re big, you’re heavy. If you go down, I don’t know if we can get you out.”

Bull laughed, “You think that’ll happen, huh?”

Enasal shrugged and continued stabbing at the ground ahead of her. 

Closer to the rift, its unpleasant smell mixed with the rotten smell of the the bog. Enasal purposely slowed her breathing and stopped talking in hopes of avoiding throwing up. Their water resources needed to be kept carefully. Rinsing and spitting mouthfuls of fresh water into the bog would do them no favors. 

“I don’t think we can avoid the water.” Enasal said, heart sinking and stomach turning.

Do. Not. Vomit.

“You sure, boss? Pretty sure that Harding said ‘don’t go in the water, it’s full of angry corpses’.”

Enasal nodded, “I know, but we’ve circled the whole thing. It’s either go through the water or leave the rift there.” She looked at the water, “We need a way to lure them out.” She crossed her arms, “And more space to fight, we don’t know how many are down there.”

_ “Ma da’len.” _ Solas said, “There could be hundreds of bodies under that water.”

“Or,” She countered, “There could be five or so.”

_ “Enasal.” _

She held up her hands, “Sorry, sorry. What do you think we should do?”

“We need to explore more of the mire.” He said, “Perhaps we can find something to help us.” When Enasal stayed quiet, he added, “Enasal. Do. Not.”

“I’m not!”

“Good, you understand.”

Cole was kneeled by the water moving his lips silently. He pointed to it and shouted to the rest, “There are thirty-eight voices here.”

The group turned to look at him.

“I think… I’ll count again.”

Enasal shook her head, “Wait Cole. You can do that?”

He stood, “They all fell - from plague or drowning - and they hurt when they fell. I can still hear the echos.”

She turned back to Bull and Solas, “Thirty-eight. What do you think?”

Solas shook his head, “No. There isn’t enough firm ground for us to deal with those numbers. We will continue forward to look for the soldiers, and try to decide how to deal with this rift later.”

“Bull?” Enasal asked.

“Thirty-eight bloated rotting corpses?” He asked, “Put Solas on one of the rocks to do his work, I’ll watch you and Cole’s back and keep the bulk away from you so you can whittle the numbers down.”

Enasal looked, “Cole? What do you think,  _ da’isha _ ?”

Cole stared at the water, “They are dead, but still here. We should help them.”

She returned to look at her teacher, gritting her teeth. 

If he told her “no” again, she would listen.

He sighed and shook his head, “Fine. Do what you will.” He started toward the outcrop of rocks Bull had pointed out, “Don’t do anything stupid.”

That cut deep.

Enasal rubbed her hands together, suddenly anxious.

“That hurt you.”

Enasal nodded to Cole, “It tends to hurt when someone calls you stupid.”

Cole cocked his head to the side, “Especially when you love them very much.”

“Yes.” Enasal said, “Especially when you love you very much.”

“Solas!” Cole cried out, “Enasal is hurt because she loves you and you said-”

“Hush, Cole!” Enasal said, covering his mouth to stop him from going on.

Solas chuckled from his spot on the rocks, his foul mood seemed uplifted.

Enasal covered her face, “Andraste, you once saved my people from slavery, so please save me now and just kill me.”

“That wouldn’t be-”

Enasal shushed him, “Cole. We need to kill corpses now. Okay?”

He nodded.

She unsheathed her weapons and nodded to Bull. “Ready?” 

“Yeah, boss. I’m ready.”

“Solas?” Enasal asked, trying to smile.

Her teacher stood and nodded, “Electricity will spread through the water and wake them all up.” He had a slight smile, “Worry has made me cross with you. Be careful.”

Enasal grinned and nodded.

An arc of lightning hit the water and spread to the edges, and the water began to boil.

The first corpse broke the surface with a gurgling scream, raking its broken fingers through the mud to reach the shore. A second rose up, followed by the rest of the path of water’s denizens. The garbled and screeched as they made their ways towards them. Some wore armor and held rusted swords and daggers, while others lurched towards them unarmed.

A ball of fire lit up the area as it flew past them, setting a group of corpses aflame. Enasal felt pressure against her back, who looked up to see Cole.

“Like this.” He said, though his tone didn’t suggest any real concern for the enemies that were making their way towards them, “We hide our backs so they can’t surprise us.” 

Enasal nodded and shot forward to slash at one of the corpses that had made its way to shore. She leapt back to Cole he whispered a soft, “Yes. More are coming - stay close.”

And at last, the rest were upon them.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal and Cole might be a dream team.  
> Solas is about done with the swamp.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYnf7JFFh74 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYnf7JFFh74)

Enasal liked fighting this way.

No gambling over whether or not she’d be attacked from behind, no wondering if she’d be saved by one of her friends.

Just a lunge forward and a step back.

She felt a sudden pressure as Cole was pushed back, and she ducked down to slash at the offending foe. It screeched and Cole mimicked her gesture, coming back up behind her.

“Good.” He said before shouting, “Four!”

Bull caught on and swung his hammer, “Seven!”

“Eight -  _ and nine” _ Enasal shouted.

Another blast of fire, followed by an accompanied number as they fell and stilled.

Enasal’s heart pounded as more closed in on her and Cole, but they both held position until each corpse was close enough to stab, only breaking formation when one came from the side before returning back to the other.

It was a good way to fight.

“I’m going for the rift!” Enasal shouted as Cole called out the number thirty-four. They could handle the rest. The rift cracked and fractured, pouring out the darkened forms of demons.

“Fall back!” Bull shouted, “You can’t fight them in the water.”

Enasal nodded and started wading through the waist-deep water toward the shore before feeling a strong grip on her angle that jerked her under the water. A scream echoed and she was yanked back out. Cole set her on her feet and continued to shove her back to shore, on hand against her collarbone while the other slashed his blade this way and that.

Back on shore, Enasal fell back to the opposite edge of the solid area. Three wispy demons that dripped with ice and two blackened forms that dug themselves out of the water. As they reached dry land they ignited and reared up to let loose a scream.

_ “They’re coming!”  _ Enasal shouted, she ran to one of the rage demons with Cole at her heels. Slashing and stabbing together proved effective and they dispatched it in seconds. The other was taken out by Bull’s hammer.

“Enasal!” Solas shouted, “Disrupt the rift!”

How could she forget?

She lifted her hand towards the rift and the familiar green light burst between them, dragging Enasal into the water and through the muck. It suddenly expanded and turned smokey, causing the demons to howl in agony. Enasal felt the force of the rift as it pushed her back. 

The glow of a fire passed by her left, and the distinct sound of smashing bones crunched on her right.

_ “Above you!” _

Enasal looked as the final demon dove down at breakneck speed, and she covered her face with her arms in a protective reflex.

Instead of crashing into her and knocking her into the sucking mud, she heard a thump and the creatures screeched. 

In front of her was a fluxing green shield that stood ahead of her like a shield. Fire burst in front of her, flaring against the shield as the demon fell and dissolved back into the fade. She was forcibly jerked forward as the mark seeked to close the rift. It pulled and pulled, the tugging sensation having moved down to her wrist. Her heart sped to match the pulses, until it shattered and she was thrown back to the shore.

She sat up, laughing with a mild sense of euphoria before stumbling up and shouting, “Woo!” before falling back down to the earth.

Solas had managed to beat the others to her, and grabbed her left wrist- examining the attached hand.

“How did you do that?”

Cole and Bull had stopped running to stare.

“What?” She gasped.

_ “Ma da’len _ .” Solas sounded off, confused. “I didn’t make that barrier - you did.”

Enasal shook her head, “No, I can’t do magic, remember?” She stood and wiped off her pants, “There must be somebody else around.” She glanced at Cole, “That wasn’t you, was it Cole?”

He shook his head, “I can’t do that.”

“Some random mage running around? Great.” Bull said, “Having Enasal suddenly get magic would have been more comforting.”

“Sorry.” Enasal said, pulling her coat open to see if her pin was still there. 

It was.

She smiled and pointed deeper into the mire. “We should keep moving, find somewhere to camp.” She laughed, but her eyes fluttered a bit, “I’m exhausted.”

Cole pointed in a random direction.

Bull shook his head, “That’s a wall.”

Cole looked where he was pointing and shuffled his feet.

Enasal giggled, “You wanted to help so much you didn’t look where you were pointing, didn’t you?”

Solas had been quiet, but suddenly threw his hands up in frustration, “Am I the only one concerned by what just happened? Enasal, you summoned a barrier from the fade!”

“No I didn’t.”

He didn’t argue, instead opting to lead the way deeper into the bog.

Bull snickered, “Someone’s mad at his favorite person.” He poked Enasal in the head.

“Stop.” She said, batting at his hand. 

He laughed, “Still embarrassed?”

“Ugh.”

Cole imitated Bull and poked Enasal in the head.

“You feel it. Why don’t you say it.”

Enasal shook her head, “Cole, you can’t just shout out what you hear in people’s heads.”

“Seriously, though.” Bull said, “I know the kid brought it up, but why? You’re always all ‘yay friends friends!’”

Enasal crossed her arms over her chest and scrambled up to follow her teacher, “Because Dalish has… I think six… is it six?” She counted on her fingers, whispering to herself, “No, seven! Seven different words for what Common calls ‘love.’ So when I hear you say that I love Solas, it’s weird because when I think of your word ‘love’, I think of romantic love.” She repeated, “So it’s weird.”

“Why so many?” 

Enasal shrugged, “Why does Common have so few? You don’t think it’s weird to say the same phrase for everyone? Like, you don’t think it’s weird to tell your grandmother the same thing as a husband or wife?”

“Qunari don’t usually have those.” Bull said, with a grin.

“Can we just stop talking about it?” Enasal said, “It makes me feel… yuck.” A shudder went down her spine and she muttered, “Ugh.”

Bull bellowed out a laugh.

Enasal and the others followed Solas’s path to catch up - luckily he wasn’t far ahead. 

“Are you still mad at me?” She asked.

“I’m not upset with you.” He said shortly.

“You seem pretty upset.”

“Not at you.”

Enasal grabbed her teacher’s arm, “Stop and tell me what’s wrong. I’ve got a nasty feeling that you  _ are  _ mad at me and it’s going to stay until you explain.”

Bull and Cole came to an awkward stop behind them.

Solas put his free hand on her head, “You do things that you have no business doing - that you  _ shouldn’t _ be able to do.” He took a step back and shook his head, “I don’t understand how or why.”

Enasal perked up, “That’s why you’re mad? Because you don’t understand something?” She laughed, “Solas, I’ve spent most of this new life being confused and not understanding anything that’s happening. You can’t get mad just because you don’t understand something.”

“It doesn’t concern you?”

She shook her head, “If I did summon that barrier, why would that be bad?”

“Enasal, this is a worrying development - you have suddenly gained some skill in magic.” 

“I can also close rifts and nobody has any idea how I do it. You can’t know everything.”

Solas switched subjects, “If I made it seem that I was upset with you, I apologize.”

“Thank the Creator, I can sleep tonight!!”

“If you two are done.” Bull said, “We should get moving - find the soldiers before they die.”

Enasal snapped her fingers as she pointed to Bull, “Yes, right!”

“There’s something wrong with your brain.” Bull said as he shook his head.

Solas stepped aside so that Enasal could lead again. She did a skipping jump before passing him, stabbing her stick in front of her as she went.

“Strange child.” He said with a shake of his head.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas is officially done with the mire and everyone in it.  
> Cole tries his best to help.

Occasionally they would pass partially sunken buildings. Cole and Enasal both seemed to have interest in them, Enasal because she was a bit too curious and Cole because of the echoing voices.

_ Help. _

Enasal threw up her fist to tell her friends to hold position behind her. “I heard something.” She said, “Maybe the soldiers?”

Nobody said anything.

She shook her head and listened again.

_ Please. _

“You guys heard that, right?”

Cole shouted, “Everyone is confused.”

“Cole, what did you and Enasal just discuss?” Bull reminded.

“Not to shout out what people are thinking.” He paused, “Oh.”

Normally, Enasal would have laughed at that, but she was too focused on what she was hearing.

_ We’re here! _

Feeling close to their destination, Enasal picked up her pace, using her walking stick less and less as she continued to speed up.

_ “Da’len!” _ Solas called from the line, “Slow down!”

She wasn’t listening.

Cole stopped in his tracks and shook his head, nearly tripping everyone behind him.

“I don’t like it.” He said.

Solas moved around him, “You don’t like what?”

He pointed ahead, “The things I cannot hear.”

“Enasal.” Solas whispered to himself before taking off in the direction Enasal had gone.

Bull followed suit, turning back temporarily to pluck Cole up and carrying him along - he seemed very unlikely to walk there himself.

They found her near another pool of murky water, head tilting from side to side as she stared a light in the middle.

“Boss…” Bull said uneasily, “Let’s leave.”

Solas went to grab her arm, “Enasal, do you know what that is?”

“He needs help.” 

Cole had started shaking his head, covering his ears.

Enasal turned to look at him, “Your nose, Cole.”

He wiped his nose, smearing blood on his sleeve.

She nodded, “We’ll clean you up later.” Before turning her attention back to the bobbing orb above the water. Before anyone could stop her, Enasal stepped into the water.

“Enasal!” Solas shouted, “Get out of there!”

Cole had pulled his hat down over his ears, using it as an additional layer to keep out whatever he was hearing, “The bodies here are quiet.” He whispered, “They don't want him to know they’re there.”

Solas ran to the shoreline, “Enasal, get out of the water!”

She turned to glance at him over her shoulder, shaking her head. “He needs help.”

“Something isn’t right!” He called, “Don’t touch it!”

Enasal turned away and continued to the orb.

“The fuck is it?” Bull snapped.

“I’m not sure…” Solas said quickly, “It isn't…” He trailed off before whispering, “A wraith?” His eyes widened with realization,  _ “Enasal, it’s a wraith, come back!” _

She ignored him, but looked back at them with a smile and a nod, “It’s okay, he just needs help.” 

As she reached for it more orbs flared up and dove into the water nearby.

HHands burst from the water, grabbing every scrap of cloth or skin they could snatch. She continued to stare at them, blinking slowly as though nothing was amiss.

She was dragged under the water.

_ “No!” _ Solas took off into the water,  _ “No, no no!”  _ The water came alive with barriers as Solas used them to displace water and see underneath. 

Finally, a patch of living skin.

Bull had followed him, and grabbed for Enasal where Solas had begun trying to break the corpses' fingers and wrists to free her. They had locked in place around her, and Bull scooped up the whole lot before he began ripping them off as he walked to shore.

With his student free, Solas rand to her, “Need to… get the water…” He said between, “I've done this… more times than… I can count.”

Enasal sat up, spitting water and hacking. 

Solas helped pull her up into a sitting position, “Are you alright?”

She nodded as she patted down her own body, presumably looking for any leftover corpses. 

Her teacher lowered his head and breathed a sigh of relief, but didn’t look back up.

“Solas?” She said, trying to ring out her curls.

With surprising strength he grabbed her shoulders,  _ “What is wrong with you!?” _

Enasal uttered a single, sharp, gasp.

He shook her, “Why can’t you ever listen? Someone warns you and you do the opposite! Don’t you  _ ever _ think of anyone you might leave behind?!”

Enasal opened her mouth, but he cut her off, “Not a word! I don't want to hear a single excuse, not one word of explanation! We make camp here and I don’t want to hear a word from you.”

She immediately covered her mouth and nodded, doing nothing to stop the tears rolling down her face.

He got up, “I’ll find some wood for the fire.”

Bull kneed beside her, “Do you even remember?”

Enasal shook her head.

“Didn’t think so. You worry about helping Cole and making camp. Let’s give him some time to cool off and I’ll talk to him - you might not have been able to help it.

“Cole?” She asked, looking around until she found him sitting on the ground with a bloody nose and wide eyes. “Oh, baby it’s okay!” She kneeled down and started to wipe his nose with her wet sleeve, shushing him, “It’s okay, don’t cry!” 

“You made me afraid.”

“I’m sorry!” She hugged him, “I’m sorry, Cole, I don’t even know what happened.”

“You listened to a demon.”

Enasal’s eyes widened and she shook her head.

“We don’t know that.” Bull said, “When Solas calms down and comes back I’ll ask him.”

“I know.” Cole whispered, “She listened to it.”

“That's enough, kid.” Bull said, “Let’s just let it lie.”

They waited as the fire burned low for Solas to return. When nearby steps could be heard over the wailing of nighttime bugs, Enasal leapt up and into her tent.

Bull looked behind him and shrugged, “She’s asleep.”

Cole shifted his eyes between Bull and Enasal’s tent. “No she isn’t - she’s hiding from Solas.”

Bull rubbed his temple, “You’re a traitor and don’t even know it.”

Solas sat down by the fire, saying nothing.

Bull looked up, “Cole, go check on Enasal.”

“She just went to her tent.”

“Just go check on her.”

Cole seemed unsure, “She is sad. Sometimes sad people don’t want help.”

“Then just go in her tent and sit.”

“She said not to go in other people’s- oh.” He nodded, “You want to talk to Solas.”

“Thank you for making this as complicated and painful as possible.”

Cole got up and shouted at her tent,  _ “Enasal I’m coming into your tent to sit with you!” _ He unfastened the tent flap and went inside, sitting down beside her.

“Hey,  _ da’isha _ .” She said, voice muffled as she sat hugging her legs to her chest and head resting on her knees. “I had a feeling you were coming in.”

Cole missed the joke and pushed forward, “Bull wanted to talk to Solas but he didn’t say that.” He said, “I heard him say it in his mind, but not until the end.” He waited patiently for Enasal to look up at him, “You look sad.”

Enasal wiped her eyes, “What gave me away?”

“Your tears and your eyes.” 

“I was joking, Cole.”

“Is now a time to joke?”

She shook her head, “Varric says it's a coping mechanism. I either cry or joke.”

“You thought ,” He squirted and pronounced the word slowly, “Bah-eesa-mah-lin. What does that mean?”

“Read my mind.” She said, returning to her original position..

Cole shook his head, “When you are angry or sad you don’t think the same.” He tilted his head, “You use words I don’t know.”

“It’s  _ ‘ _ _ ba'isa'ma'lin’ _ .” She said, “It’s Dalish.”

“What does it mean?”

Enasal hesitated, “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Because you love him.”

“Stop using that word like that!” She said as calmly as her tired brain could muster.

“... I forgot.”

“I know.” She said, “Maybe now isn’t a good time? I feel like I’m going to get really mad.”

“That’s okay.” Said Cole.

“No it isn’t.”

He continued to pester, “What does it mean?”

“I don’t know the word in Common.”

“Is it one of your love words?”

Enasal burst into tears.

Cole reached over and patted her on the hand, massaging the scalp and minding the curls. “Your sister does this.” He said, “You thought of her.”

_ “Mi’nas’sal’inan ash! Nuvenan ish amah!” _

Bull’s voice suddenly came though the tent, sharp and clear. “ _ Cole! _ Are you making things worse?”

Cole looked between the voice and Enasal. “No!” He chirped before looking back to Enasal, “I don’t know those words either.” He said brightly.

“Why are you so  _ happy? _ ”

“You said it was funny when I’m happy when I shouldn’t be. You laughed.”

“Not  _ now!” _ She put her head back on her knees, “Cole, when we get back to Skyhold, we’ll work on all this. With someone whose Common is… better than mine.”

He hesitated, “With Varric?”

She wiped her eyes and nodded.

“The word I thought, was ‘uncle’.” She said, “There I said it!”

“You’re embarrassed again.”

Enasal was exhausted, “Yes.” She said, moving her arms from her legs to cover her head instead, “I am embarrassed.”

“Why are you embarrassed about loving people - that’s a  _ good _ feeling!”

“I just hate the Common word and - why are you so fixated on this?”

He furrowed his brow, “But you  _ like _ talking about people and feelings.”

“Not  _ now.” _ She said through gritted teeth.

“Why?”

Enasal shook her head. “I’m going to bed now. I have no idea why I was in water, I was shouted at,” Her voice cracked, “And I’m very upset and I want to sleep.”

“But you’ll have bad dreams.”

“I am having trouble speaking Common. I’m too tired.” She unrolled her bag and got into it, “I’m going to sleep now.”

Cole repeated himself, “You’ll have bad dreams.”

She sighed, “I know. Good night, Cole.”

“Should I stay?”

“I don’t know.”

Cole made himself comfortable beside her, staring at the tent flap, “I’ll stay here. It’s dry. I don’t like being cold and wet.” He turned to face her, “Did you change your clothes because you were very cold and very wet.”

“Cole. Go to sleep or stay quiet. I’m going to sleep.”

“I’ll be here.”

Enasal was quiet for a time before saying, “Thank you, Cole.”


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With some reconciliation, it's now time to speak to an Avvar man and see what he knows about the Inquisition soldiers.  
> And it's also time to just make fun of Enasal.

When Enasal got up the next morning, Solas was the only one awake. He looked up when she came out, so there was no sulking back into her tent. She eased herself down by the remaining embers, careful to keep her eyes on the fiery glow.

She heard a sigh, “Did you sleep?”

Enasal glanced up at her teacher before looking at her shoes, “No. Did you?”

“No.”

Enasal broke the resulting silence, “Have you seen Cole?”

“I thought he was with you.”

She shook her head, “He wasn’t there when I woke up.”

“Ah.”

Another stretch of uncomfortable silence.

“Did I hurt you?” Solas asked.

Enasal touched where he had grabbed her, “A little.”

He leaned forward holding his head and wincing with an obvious headache, “And your chest?”

She tried to smile, “Sore and bruised, but you were saving my life then…” She trailed off.

He shook his head, “Bull thinks you were enthralled at the time. The demon asked for help, and by answering the call, you accidentally became bound to the creature. You were trying to do the right thing.” 

She lowered her head, “I’m sorry.”

“ _ Ma da’len _ \- I don’t want an apology from you. When I saw you pulled under the water like that... I was afraid, and I realize now, that I haven’t learned to control it as well as I thought. I apologize.”

Enasal shot towards him and hugged him tight.

He chuckled, “I thought you might do that.”

“I’m not letting go. You don’t let me do this often.”

He sighed and patted her head before reaching behind him to loosen her grip.

“Good, I was worried I’d have to deal with bad moods all day.”

Enasal let her teacher go and waved to the approaching bulking figure, “Hello Bull.”

“I sent Cole to go scouting.” He said, “Figured he might find more than we would.”

Together with Solas, they filled Enasal in about what had happened to her. Solas spoke very little, only to add details here and there.

“Cole couldn't hear them?” She asked.

Bull nodded, “Had to carry him to you. He just kind of stood there when we tried to catch up, so I picked him up like I have to do you.” He looked at Solas and smirked, “I say we put a leash on her.”

Solas looked at Enasal as though considering the idea.

“Please don’t.” His student said.

Cole returned, shouting with obvious pride, “I found a rift and a very angry man.”

“The mage who summoned those barriers?” Enasal asked.

“Enasal.” Solas said, an edge to his voice, “That was you.”

She still didn’t believe him, but didn’t want to tempt fate.

“His leader wants to fight and kill you.”

Enasal sighed, “Can I go more than a few days without nearly dying or having a death threat leveled on me?”

“I said I would bring you.” Cole said.

Enasal looked back at Bull and Solas, before turning back to Cole, “You want to bring me to the man who wants to kill me.”

Cole shook his head, “No. His  _ leader _ wants to kill you.”

Bull squinted at him, “Did you get that from his mind?”

“No, I talked to him .”

“Why did you-” Bull stopped and groaned, “You walked up and talked to the man?”

“Yes! Was that wrong?”

Enasal sighed and pulled Cole’s hat over his eyes, “We’re going to work on a lot when we get back home. Until then, we won’t send you anywhere by yourself.”

He nodded, and grabbed Enasal’s hand. “I’ll take you to the rift.”

She wondered if he was afraid and if holding her hand gave her comfort, or if it was something he mimicked from her and had yet to understand when and where it was acceptable. But her own nerves were wrought with anxiety, and his sudden gesture was soothing.

He was a very sweet boy.

Even if he accidently caused so much trouble.

The man Cole had talked about was standing a small distance away from the undulating rift, examining it with concentration. His eyes set upon them, and Enasal felt herself shiver. The man was a hulking thing, almost like Bull, with skin such a ghastly white that her first thought was a Qunari pale with illness. 

With a crackle the rift exploded, pouring out rage demons like flowing lava. Enasal and Cole immediately went into their back-to-back formation while Solas readied barriers and Bull readied his hammer. 

Nearby, the stranger did the same.

The man was a fierce fighter, swinging his hammer with precision and strength. Enasal tossed one of her baldes to Cole so she could disrupt the rift, and when the demons screamed in pain he tossed it back and they parted to slash and slice while their foes were weakened. The minute they snapped back, Enasal and Cole were back in formation, hacking and dodging until Enasal was dragged toward the rift and thrown back.

Bull grabbed her by the arm and pulled her up and onto her feet. 

“Sky Watcher, boss.” He said softly.

Enasal’s eyes searched the man for more clues as to what that might be. His skin was pale not from illness, but paint. Black markings crossed here and there, twisting around each other to form designs.

“Sky Watcher?” She asked.

Bull nudged her forward, “Tribe down south. Big on oaths and pride in your clan - use that to your advantage.”

Enasal nodded and turned her attention to the man ahead, saluting, “You fight good!” She gestured to Cole, “My friend told me that you wanted to talk.”

“So you’re the Herald of Andraste.” He said, squinting down at her, “My kin want you dead, lowlander.” He titled his head as he examined her, “But it’s not my job. Have no fears from me.”

Enasal exchanged glances with Bull, “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to figure out this hole in the world.” He heaved his hammer up and put it into a sheath on his back, “Never seen anything like it’s like. They spit out angry spirits.”

Enasal nodded, “Demons.”

“I don’t care what you call it. Haven’t seen one of these stop spewing out monsters ‘til you come around. What the sky’s trying to tell us, I don’t know...”

“I can seal them away.” Enasal said, offering her left hand as evidence, “They’re called fade rifts, caused by the Breach.” She looked up to the sky. Sometimes she thought she still saw a part of the Breach up there. A flicker of green, a sudden wavering of the air. But for now, only a forever-greyed scar to remember what once loomed overhead.

“It’s some sort of magic gone wrong.”

The man laughed, bringing Enasals down from the sky, “I know that, lowlander. I’m talking about the Lady of the Skies.” He looked up as Enasal had done, before examining her again, “Do you not know her? Can’t you see the warnings she writes though the bird flocks in the air?”

Enasal shook her head but found herself smiling, “I’m too busy watching them fly to try to think about what they’re trying to tell me.” She nodded towards Cole, “My friend here said you wanted to talk.”

He nodded, “Our chieftain's son wants to fight you.”

“So I’ve heard.” She said. “Are…  _ you _ going to take me to him?” Enasal asked, “I’m fine for a fight, but I’d rather walk than get dragged down there.”

He shook his head, “I won’t be dragging you anywhere. I’m called in when the dead pile up. Rites of the gods, mending for the bleeding a dagger for the dying-”

Cole suddenly perked up, “That’s what  _ I  _ do!” Then he stopped and looked at Enasal, “Well, not now.”

Enasal gently shushed him and patted his arm, before turning back to the Avvar, “We’re here looking for missing Inquisition soldiers. Have you heard anything?”

The man didn’t blink, “My chieftain's boy is using them as bait, seems he didn’t do a good enough job at leaving behind breadcrumbs.”

Enasal sighed, knowing that Solas was looking at her, possibly thinking about the time she never meant to waste. “Do you know if they’re alright?”

“Aye.” He said, “I was there.” He pointed in a direction heading north, “A few were injured in the skirmish, but they were all alive, last time I saw them.”

Enasal clapped her hands together, “That would be our Commander Cullen!”

“Your commander did well - let him know of my esteem.” He said, “They killed more of us than I thought they would.”

Enasal grinned and pointed in the way he had indicated, “Anything we should know?”

“The dead won’t rest here.” He said, “Mind the water and watch your step.”

Enasal nodded and returned back to the group, a quick back-and-forth of discussion before heading north.

“‘Our Commander Cullen’” Bull said, mimicking Enasal’s handclap. He reached up to ruffled Enasal’s hair “Keep the ownership to yourself.”

“What?” Enasal asked.

“He can be  _ your _ commander, but please don’t lump in the rest of us with that tone of voice.”

“What tone of - stop it.” Enasal said, batting at his hand away. She glanced at Cole, “Cole, remember our talk?”

“Don’t shout things I hear.” He confirmed.

“Good - stop laughing at me, Bull!” 


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In an extremely upsetting (for Bull) turn of events, the evidence piles up that Enasal might have gotten a pinch of magic from the Mark.

Enasal loved taking advantage of the fallen rocks. It was a little reprieve, a little bit of security in the sloshing, squishing world. Plus, it was a safe way to scout ahead. It had been a long and dull day - if anyone ever told Enasal that killing corpses would ever constitute as boring she would have laughed in their faces.

But that was before she had killed at least a few hundred of them.

“I’m ready to go home.” She said from atop another rock, “I’ll even go to Orlais, just get me out of here.”

“We can stop soon.” Solas assured, “As soon as we find more stable ground.”

“I just want to walk.” Enasal complained, “Without having to think or plan or  _ stab” _ she jabbed her walking stick into the ground in front of her. It sunk through and Enasal stumbled forward, catching herself before she fell to the ground. 

“Are you sure about the stabbing?” Bull asked, “That’s something you usually like.”

“And the mire has sucked the joy out of even that!” She said, clammering up another outcrop of rocks. She was quiet as she stood, tracing their current path with her fingers and trying to follow the path to the small landmarks ahead.

She glanced down to her friends, “A lot of rocks, but there’s these other things - they look like… I don’t know? Pillars of stone, something at the top?”

Solas had joined her on top of the rocks, “Beacons, it seems. Possibly left over from before the plagues.”

Enasal nodded in agreement as her teacher climbed down first, offering his hand. She took it and made a controlled fall to the ground. “If we keep walking we should be able to see them better.” She looked up at Solas, “They seemed solid, we could probably camp there.”

“Good.” Bull said, “Hopefully we’ll find those soldiers soon.” The rest were more than happy to echo the sentiment.

“When we get back,” Enasal said, “I’m setting these boots on fire. It’s the only way they'll dry.”

Bull chuckled.

“In fact.” Enasal continued, “Everything. Just set it all on fire.”

_ “Ma da’len.” _ Solas said with a shake of his head and slight smile.

Enasal ran the final steps to the structure, skipping up the stairs with ease. She circled around the rock column, hands on the stone and fingers dipping in and out of crevices as she waited for her more careful friends.

“The rock is old. But parts of it look new.” 

Solas stood beside her, “A brazier for veilfire.” He glanced at her and put his hand out, “May I?”

Enasal let him take her left hand and hold it up to the brazier.

Deep in her stomach something stirred and swirled until it rushed though her arms and fingers, setting the brazier alight with a blue fire. Enasal gasped and fell backwards landing hard on the stone floor. The ground shifted and the stone underneath them seemed to tilt.

Stone cracked and water from below squelched though as a set of hands clawed up form below. It’s head surfaced, regarding Enasal with so many irregular eyes that splashed across its pale face like paint. Solas shouted something and he moved in front of her -

\- Enasal awoke with a start.

She sat up, slowly stretching her body out from a night on damp stone. 

Outside, the wind continued to howl and thunder echoed through the stone chambers. 

Enasal wiped her eyes.

Bad dreams.

She gathered her things into her pack and continued ahead, bare feet slapping on the stone floor.

“Shiral!” She called, “Shiral, if you’re going to break the rules you might as well tell  _ me _ about it!” 

Only thunder answered back.

Enasal found herself at the entrance, blocked in by a wall of pouring rain.

“Bull!” She called, “Solas, Cole, Shiral-”

Shiral?

She’s here?

Wait, who are Bull and…?

Lightning struck nearby, illuminating the crowd ahead. They surrounded her, leaving no place to escape.

There at the front stood a woman, with black hair that was slowly greying and a defiant air about her.

“Enasal, I think we might be able to find you useful.”

She was back in the mire, where rain had begun to drizzle onto her head. Someone above grabbed her back and heaved her up. She shook her head, Bull had her by her backplate.

“Is she done?” He asked Solas. “She stopped screaming.”

“Put her  _ down _ .” Solas said, helping Bull negotiate Enasal back to her feet.

Enasal shook her head, “Wait, what?”

Cole had drifted over, “You were very afraid.”

Enasal rubbed her eyes. “... _ what?” _

Solas put a steadying hand on his student’s shoulders, “It seems we can use the beacons to lure dead from the water - but it also held a demon.” 

“You lit the torch.” Cole said, lowering his voice to a raspy mutter, “Shouldn’t be able to do that, should have let it lie.”

Enasal looked at Solas.

He nodded, but volunteered nothing else.

Bull shook his head, “Stop that. You’re magicless, and I need you to keep it that way.”

She rolled her neck, “What happened?”

“You lit the fire, demon popped out, we killed the demon, you woke up.” Bull said, “You need to stop.”

Solas was examining her hand, “It was on a whim back there… but it seems I was correct.” He seemed particularly interested in her palm, “The mark is changing you.”

Enasal pulled away, “We should move on.”

“There are others.” Solas offered, “Four in total if we are to believe what Cole says.”

Enasal looked around, “Where is he?”

“Scouting ahead.” Bull said, “Said he wanted to find the others so we could rescue the soldiers tomorrow - he says he can hear them now.” He looked at Solas, “Let’s not mess with anymore of them. We need to get the soldiers and leave - this place isn’t good for her.”

Solas ignored him,  _ “Ma da’len _ , what did you see?”

Enasal scrunched her eyes shut, “I don’t really remember. I was in a temple looking for Shiral, but it was raining and my clan was outside. A bunch of mush.”

She screamed as Cole tapped her on the top of her head.

“Are you still afraid?” He asked, pointing and continuing before giving her a chance to answer, “There are more, all ahead. If I follow the soldiers and you follow me, we’ll find them.”

Bull frowned, “We’ll run past them and go back to the soldiers. Enasal’s been having trouble since we got here, I think this place is messing with her.”

Enasal’s eyes flickered between Bull and the bog, “Should I be worried, Solas?”

He shook his head, “There were not many enemies and you seemed to suffer no ill-effects. I think we should press on.”

Enasal nodded, “We’ll camp here. Lets rest up, we’ll finish by tomorrow and be on our way back to Skyhold.”

Bull glowered at Solas, “Things have been weird since we got here and you know it. If anything happens to her, it’s on your head.”


	62. Chapter 62

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get a final look at Shiral before she arrives at Skyhold. Everyone can finally leave the swamp.

Shiral caught the apple Enasal had thrown, taking a harty bite from it as she picked her way across the ruins.

“You need to stop sneaking off, my little heart.” Shiral said, laying down beside her sister to look at the mural above, “You’re starting to give the keeper hope.”

“Impossible.” Enasal said, “I can’t die, I’m like a little roach.”

Shiral laughed and lay down beside her sister, nudging her, “This time next year, we’ll be somewhere else entirely. A new life and new lands,” She glanced at her little sister, adoring how the blue sky reflected in them. “My little sister, all pretty in bridal clothes.”

Enasal laughed, “Stop it!” 

“With a blushing boy on her arm, all ready to tote her home to his clan!”

She waved her away, “I wish we’d just go somewhere ourselves.”

Shiral shook her head, “You say that today, but tomorrow you’ll want to stay forever.”

“I just don’t understand why I should even go to the Arlathvhen” Enasal said. 

Shiral was rummaging in her own pack, “Because I need to know someone can look after you if anything happens to me. You’re not quite as tough as you think.” She said, pulling out a cover and tossing it to her sister. 

“I might be.” Enasal grumbled.

“You’re not.” Shiral laughed, helping Enasal with the new caplet and adjusting it, “There’s nothing wrong with it, not everyone has to be and I don’t want you to change.” She adjusted a few of her sister’s curls, “You get to stay just as you are.”

“Or,” Enasal argued, “I might be.”

Shiral shook her head, “Don’t worry so much.” She hefted her bag up and put a hand out, “Give me yours.” 

Enasal obeyed.

“Good!” She tossed Enasal the pack she had been carrying, “It’s really starting to get cold, so make sure you stay warm. That cover is halla wool, don’t lose it - ”

“I won’t-”

“And you’ve got a week’s worth of dried meat in there, you should have no trouble surviving that long. I’d stay here if I were you, you know how the Bitch-Keeper riles everyone up when I’m gone.”

“I-I know.” Enasal stumbled over her words, “I mean, I will. I’ll stay here.”

“Good, don’t go anywhere near the camp until I come back.” 

“I won’t.”

“If the clan moves, just wait for me. Promise.”

“Promise.”

Shiral pulled her sister close, “Stay safe, stay hidden. Bitch-Keeper has been asking around to see if anyone has seen you, so you know what that means.”

Enasal muttered something.

“Enasal.”

“If I see anyone that isn’t you, run.” Enasal quoted.

Shiral hugged her, “My love to you, little sister.”

“And my love to you.”

Shiral tapped her sister’s nose, “Don’t pout. The hunt will only last a few days, I’ll be back soon.”

Enasal backed up and waved to Shiral, forcing a smile until she disappeared. She sighed and sank to the ground, resigning herself to a stretch of loneliness. She wished she had hugged her sister a bit longer.

.

.

.

Enasal’s dreams were similar at each beacon: always a temple, always searching for someone, always her clan. Any details were lost to her upon waking, and she only had the vaguest of ideas in what she could remember.

“Interesting, always a temple you say?” Solas asked her, “Do you recall anything about it?”

She shook her head, “Elven I think, but that’s about it.” She slowed to a stop and nodded ahead, “Those gates, see anyone Bull?”

Bull had already been scanning the entrance, “Enough to make people think twice about trying to walk though, but not enough to deal with a full invasion.” He looked down at Enasal, “Probably have orders to not kill you, since their leader wants to fight you.”

“The Avvar sure make them big.” Enasal said.

Bull tried not to laugh so he could keep his voice low, “I’m sure they have little stringbeans like you, but these guys are to instill some fear.”

Enasal nodded and looked at the group, “Cole, can you give us any insight?”

“They miss their homes.”

She looked back at Bull, “Any chance we could make them run?”

Bull shook his head, “The Avvar are all about honor, running from a battle could mean banishment from Avvar lands.”

Enasal sighed, “Okay, no way around it.” She leaned forward to look at Solas, “You’re really the only one who really has any range. Find a safe place and lay waste - I want to save those soldiers and -“

Bull grabbed her as fire erupted around them. He shoved her aside, “Pitch bomb, be careful. You don’t need a mage to set everything on fire.” 

Enasal nodded and took off towards the keep, dodging this way and that. A hammer tore the air near her ear and she rolled away, answering with an attempted knife throw that managed to stick on the ground a foot away.

She needed to practice.

Albeit not deadly, the knife caught enough light on its small journey to draw a quick glance from the Avvar, in which Enasal was able to maneuver away and into the castle proper. 

“Herald of Andraste!” A shout ripped through the air, “Face me!”

Ahead, stood another hulking man. Painted with red, black, and white, he was a gruesome sight to behold, all sinew and scars and teeth.

Now was a good time to follow directions.

Enasal spun on her heels and rocketed towards the Avvar, immediately ducking into a roll and slashing at his ankles. One of her cuts made it through the leather, drawing a line of deep red across his armor. He shouted something and backhanded Enasal with such force that she spun down the stairs. The man screamed as fire suddenly consumed him, he fell to the ground, writing and shuddering before laying still.

Bull plucked her up while the others caught up.

“You okay?” 

Enasal nodded, “Yeah, thanks.” She sheathed her blades and looked around, “That Sky Watcher said our soldiers were being held here.” She took a breath and shouted, “The Avvar are gone! We’re with the Inquisition, shout so we can find you!”

A clammer issued from a room nearby, and Enasal made quick work of the lock. She imagined she was getting better.

The soldiers seemed safe and overall unharmed. When Enasal came in, a man with a bandaged leg was the first to put two-and-two together.

“The Herald of Andraste!”

Enasal nodded, “Is everyone alright?”

The man nodded, continuing to stare at her as though looking at an angel. Another soldier popped him on his head, “Yes, your Worship. The injured need some rest, but we can make it back on our own.” He helped the staring soldier up.

“We never expected it to be you, personally.” Another man said, “We thought we might get help… but never you in person.”

One of the women gave him a friendly slap to his chest. “I told you it’d be her.” She lowered her head and saluted. “Thank you, Inquisitor.”

Enasal returned the salute, “Of course, give your king my regards.” 

The soldiers all came to a stop and a few skittered back when they saw the Sky Watcher waiting at the entrance. Enasal held up her hand to stop them.

His mouth twitched with the threat of a laugh, “Your god looks after you, Herald.” He looked into the hold and nodded, “There lies the brat. His father, chief of our holding, would duel me for the loss, if he cared enough.”

Enasal looked back at Bull, who rolled his eyes and motioned for her to get it over with. “Ser Sky Watcher,” She began, “The Inquisition is always ready to welcome a new soldier in our midst. There’s still a lot to do, even with the Breach sealed.”

The man gave a slow nod, seeming neither surprised or excited. He looked up to the sky for a moment and whispered to himself, “Is this why you led me here? To help heal the wounds in your skin?” He considered before looking back at Enasal, “Aye, I’ll join you.”

“My name is Enasal.” She said, “As Inquisitor, I officially welcome you to the Inquisition.”

He took her hand and shook it, “Sky Watcher Amund. Let me make peace with my kin, and I’ll find where you set your flag.”


	63. Chapter 63

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone is less than thrilled with Shiral's arrival - except Enasal.

Finally home in Skyhold, Enasal nearly fell off her horse in her impatience to get off. Cullen caught her and helped her right herself in the saddle, “What are you going to do if I can’t make it down here to help you off?”

“You always make it.”

“And if you don't walk over?”

“Then I’ll get off myself.”

He chuckled, “So, you're admitting you don’t actually need help.”

“I don’t need it, but it’s very appreciated.”

He shook his head and helped her off her horse.

Down on the ground, she squeezed his arms and grinned, “I saw some flowers on the way here.”

“Did you?”

“Don’t look at me like that. They weren’t just regular flowers, they were _the flowers_.” She threw her arms out, “The first flowers of spring!” 

He laughed, “Now that I think of it, I haven’t noticed the cold much these days.”

“Seastorm!” 

Enasal turned and shouted “Varric!”

“There’s my girl!” He said, lifting her off the ground for a few seconds, “They take good care of you?”

She nodded, “Yes they did - _oh_ I missed you so much!”

“So are you dead?”

“No.”

“Horribly maimed?”

She glowered at him. 

He ruffled her hair, “See, you survived without me!” 

She hugged him again, squeezing him tight, “Barely. Solas and I got into a fight and a lot of weird stuff happened.”

“Weird stuff happened to _you?_ Perish the thought.”

“It was _so_ weird!”

Varric laughed, “Seastorm, you’re breaking my ribs!”

Solas hurried towards his own room, “She can summon barriers and light veilfire.”

“...What?” Varric asked.

Enasal shrugged, “I still don’t think I did the barrier.”

Cullen frowned, “Is that something we should be worried about.”

“Solas is, I think.” Enasal said, “But I’m not. Surprised and a little squeamish about it? Yes. Worried? Not really.” She snapped her fingers, “Oh, Cullen?”

He glanced at Varric before saying, “Yes?”

“One of the Avvar said that our soldiers had been well trained, and that it could have been much worse if not for that.” She smiled, “Thought you’d like to know.” She clapped her hand, “And - _oh!”_ She opened her coat and tapped on the charm he had given her, “You won’t _believe_ what this lived though. I was so sure I had lost it, but there it stayed.”

“Oh… thank you.” He rested a hand on his sword and drummed his fingers on the handle. “On both counts.”

He had wanted to say more, but Enasal was swarmed by other friends and wellwishers, and - before he could blink - the group was making its way to the nearest tavern.

.

.

.

Cullen looked up from paperwork at the sound of screaming and cursing. He lost count of how many times the discussion of language came up - was it really so hard not to sling curses at every-

As he opened the door a group of soldiers had rushed back and away from the outer side of the battlements.

“What’s going on out here?”

One of the soldiers pointed past Skyhold’s wall, “Commander, there’s someone-”

He peered over in time to see a bow raised and drawn just in time for him to jerk back and avoid the arrow that whistled past.

“Where’s my _sister?”_

“Sister?” He started before turning to one of the soldiers, “Go get Enasal, bring her here _now!”_ He took a breath and carefully eased himself over the ledge, “Is your name Shiral? Enasal’s safe, someone is-”

Another arrow, this time he felt the fletching brush his ear. “I won’t miss next time!” Another arrow flew past, just to be sure they all got the message, “The next head that pops up it had better be Enasal’s or you’re _in trouble!”_

One of his soldiers scoffed, “What’s _one_ girl going to do?” 

Cullen jerked his thumb in the direction of the scream, “Do _you_ want to talk to her?”

“No ser. Sorry, ser.”

Enasal leapt up the last few stairs, hair disheveled in panic as she threw herself against the battlements

“Shiral?”

“Enasal! _Ma da’lath’in_ , _Enasal!”_

“Shiral!” Enasal had started running to the gates. Enasal shouted down in Dalish, urging her sister on before she jumped off the battlements, aiming for a nearby tree to grab hold of to speed her fall enough for a somewhat safe landing.

Enasal stood in front of the gate, shaking and unsure. When the gates began to open Enasal burst into tears and held her arms out, running a few steps to meet her sister. Crying and talking over one-another, they looked at each other briefly before they both let out another set of sobs.

Shiral was still fussing over his sister when Cullen made it down. She spoke swiftly in Dalish, examining Enasal’s hair and face, before gasping at something and scolding her. Enasal laughed and shook her head, wiping tears with one hand and dismissing her with the other. 

Enasal’s eyes lit up and she grabbed her sister’s hand, “Shiral, this is Cullen, he commands all of the Inquisitions forces, and is a close friend of mine.”

Cullen nodded, “Shiral, good to meet you on equal footing. I’m glad you're here, Enasal often talks about how much she misses you.”

The woman did not smile. She looked him up and down, and with a single, deliberate blink, said, “Hello.”

She was not impressed.

Shiral perked and snapped her fingers, “Oh, Enasal! I ran into an old friend of yours on the way here.”

“A friend?” Enasal asked.

She nodded, “Retter says hello, and that he wishes to bond with you.”

Enasal squinted her eyes, “Wait, who’s Retter?”

“You met him at the last Arlathvhen.” She said.

Her little sister’s brow knit in confusion.

“The boy from the Sabrae Clan, his father was the bladesmith.” When Enasal still seemed confused Shiral laughed, “He gave you your first blades.”

Enasal snapped her fingers, “That Retter? That’s - wait. Oh.” She covered her face, “Did he really say that?”

“I told him I would tell you.”

Enasal shook his head, “Oh, no, no - _why?_ This is a disaster, now I have to write him a refusal letter!”

“I honestly thought you might have said yes.”

“Why would I-” She fussed with her hair, “I barely remember him!”

Shiral nudged her, “He sure remembered you!”

Enasal said something in Dalish before reaching for her sister, “I have to take you around to meet my friends! I’m sure Varric won’t mind writing the letter for me.” She looked at Cullen, “I know you’re probably buried under work, but you know I’m still going to ask. Would you like to come?”

He smiled weakly, “Nail on the head, Enasal.”

“Okay, will I see you later tonight?”

Shiral looked at her sister with wide eyes before they narrowed and cut to Cullen.

He hadn’t noticed, “Of course. I’ll see you after you eat.”

“As long as you promise to eat at some point.”

“I will.”

Enasal waved and pulled her sister towards the tavern, “Varric will probably be with some of his friends, Bull and Krem, too.” She gasped, “No! We’ll have a little party! Just us and some of my friends in the tavern! You can meet everyone at once!”

“Maybe.” Shiral said, tilting her head left and right. 

Enasal was already shoving open the tavern door, _“Varric!”_

He leaned out of his usually spot and waved her over. He laughed when they came closer, “Let me guess, your sister? Well, this is a day for celebration, I told you she’d come Seastorm!”

“Seastorm?” Shiral asked with a frown.

“I give everyone nicknames.” Varric said, leaning back to grab Enasal’s head and muss her hair.

 _“The curls!”_ Enasal tried sound despairing, but the laughter did little to help. Shiral’s first instinct was to punch the dwarf, but her little sister was making such a half-hearted attempt to escape that it was obvious she didn’t mind.

She still wanted to punch him, though.

“You happy?” Varric asked her.

Enasal grinned up at him, “Yes!”

“I told you she’d come.” He stood, “Varric Tethras, caretaker of tiny elves and storyteller extraordinaire. Your sister’s been nice enough to let me look after her.”

“He was the first person outside of you and grandmother to be nice to me.”

Shiral made a noncommittal noise.

Enasal had yet to pick up on her sister’s less than enthusiastic reaction. “So Varric, could you help me write a letter? It’s a bit of a…” She snapped her fingers for a few seconds before glancing at her sister and saying something in Dalish.

Varric laughed, “Thank the Maker, someone else who can help her.” 

They went back and forth before Shiral snapped her fingers, “Delicate.”

Enasal mimicked the gesture, “Delicate! It’s a delicate matter.” She slipped into the chair beside his, “Can you help?”

“I couldn’t tell you no if I tried. What do you need?”

Enasal slumped down in her chair, “So… elves take certain matters really seriously. Like, you would never even joke about it seriously.”

“Okay, but which of those matters are we dealing with?”

Shiral eased herself into a nearby chair and watched the exchange in silence.

“This man… might have asked me to bond with him.” She worried her hands, “You know, marry him.”

“Ah!” Varric laughed, “I see the problem. I didn’t think you knew anyone outside your sister and your grandmother.”

“I met him at _Arlathvhen._ ” Enasal said, “It was ten years ago and I happened to take a class with him.”

Varric chuckled and pulled out some paper, “Tale as old as time. I meet him for a few hours and now he wants to marry me.”

“It's not funny.” Enasal said.

His expression softened, “You’re right, I got carried away. Since you’re frowning pretty hard, I’m guessing it’s a no.”

Enasal nodded.

“Good!” Varric laughed, “That’ll make Curly happy.”

“Curly?” Shiral asked.

 _“Anyway!”_ Enasal said, “I really, really need you to help me find the nicest way of saying ‘no’.”

“Let me see what I can think up.” He said, looking up at Shiral as he wrote, “The infamous Shiral. Goddess of our Seastorm’s heart.” He laughed, “I’m sorry, I just can’t get over how much you look alike.”

He was right. They were different heights and Enasal’s skin was much more sun-kissed and freckled, but overall they were alarmingly identical.

Shiral looked away and shrugged.

“I can’t remember.” Enasal said, leaned forward to her sister, “Grandmother used to say we looked just like… our father, right?”

“You do.” Shiral said, “I only got his hair.” She didn’t look up, “You’re just like him. What I can remember about him, you’re a perfect copy.”

Enasal’s cheeks turned pink and she laughed.

“Alright, Seastorm, how does this sound?” He sat straight and cleared his throat dramatically, “Dearest Enasal-Did-Not-Tell-Me-Your-Name. It is with a heavy heart that I must reject your proposal. This decision bears no ill will towards you, but my heart must stay firmly in my chest as I attend to current matters.”

He grinned and poked Enasal in the ribs so she squeaked in protest. “Sound good? Slipped a little lie in there for you.” 

Shiral watch the display without a single blink, “Retter. The boy’s name is Retter.”

Varric chuckled, “Dearest _Retter-”_

 _“Maybe_ not ‘dearest.’” Enasal said, “A little more…” She snapped her fingers.

“Formal?” Varric asked.

“Yes, that.” 

“‘Dear Retter’ it is.” He shuffled his papers, “You want to try? Your handwriting is getting better.”

Enasal considered for a few seconds before taking the pen from him. She was fully engrossed in seconds, staring at Varric’s draft and carefully copying each pen stroke.

Shiral was looking at her sister with a half-opened mouth, “Enasal… you can write?”

“Kind of?” Enasal said, eyes trained on her task.

Varric leaned forward, “Slow down and watch what you’re doing. One letter at a time.” He looked back at Shiral, “She can read too. Still struggles, but she’s getting there.”

“But she can’t-” Shiral started, “She’s not…” She looked at Enasal, “How did you learn to read?”

“Well,” Enasal began, “Solas tried to teach - _oh you have to meet Solas!”_

Varric chuckled as he pulled out a new pen and started writing the final copy of Enasal’s letter. She might as well have already been out of the building with her attention span.

Shiral held her hands up, “Slow down, who is Solas?”

“My teacher!” Enasal chirped.

“Your…” Enasal was shaking her head again, “Teacher? How did you get a teacher, we’re the only clan that does that!”

Enasal shook her head, “Solas says they did that where he was from.”

Varric caught Enasals eye and pointed to Shiral, “Seastorm, I think your sister’s feeling a little overwhelmed - remember what it was like when you first got here?”

“Shiral, I’m sorry!” Enasal got up and took her sister’s head, “You can stay in my room until they find one for you. I think we have a few left near me so we could be close. You’ll sleep with me ‘till then.”

Shiral was still shaking her head, “You said you didn’t want one, like me.” 

Varric switched topics, “I’ll gather the group, Seastorm, you worry about your sister. Meet back here at six.” He nodded to Shiral, “And if someone comes to take you to talk with Enasal's advisors, don’t worry. They do that with everyone she recruits.”

“I’m _not_ a recruit!” Shiral said, snapping her head around to look at him, “I’m _her sister!”_

Varric held up his hands in a surrendering motion, “Noted. They’re still going to call you though, so go ahead and start preparing yourself for that.”

Enasal nodded, “They’re _really nice_ , Shiral! You don’t have anything to worry about, they’ll adore you!”

“I’m sure we all will.” Varric lied.


	64. Chapter 64

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal is confused by her sister's behavior upon her arrival to Skyhold.

##  Chapter 64

“Do you want me to stay with you?”

Shiral forced a laugh and waved away her sister,  _ “Din, da’lath’in,  _ I can handle a few of  _ shems _ on my own.” 

“They’re… they’re not  _ shems _ .” Enasal spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully, “They’re just… regular  _ shemlem. _ They’re very nice.”

“A snake could bite you on the nose and you’d still defend him from the fox.” She said, “I can do this, _ da’lath’in _ . Go to your reading lesson.” 

Enasal shifted her weight and opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Instead, she smiled, “My love to you, big sister.”

“My love to you - I’ll see you when I’m done.”

Enasal trotted up to the library, finished book in hand and ready to get her next reading assignment. Dorian was surrounded by papers, which he was working to put in some sort of order only he understood. He looked up from his papers and smiled, “Tiniest of elves, here for a new book?”

She took a deep breath, the morning’s stress mitigated for now, “I am.” She handed him the book she had read, “I really liked it - I was surprised when Ulrich died, I didn’t know books killed a batch of main characters like that.”

“I thought you’d enjoy that.” He said, pulling a book out of a stack he had set to the side. “This one is - sweet Maker, Enasal, why do you have that face?”

“What face?”

“I’m not going to give you a book when you have that face.”

Enasal rubbed her eyes, still exhausted from the night before, “I’m just worried about Shiral. I was so excited that she was  _ here _ .”

“As one would expect.”

“When I saw her, I started making all these plans,” She continued, “I was going to introduce her to everyone and we would all dance and sing and be friends.”

Dorian chuckled, “I will always cherish your naivete.” He said.

“But she didn’t seem to care about any of it. I’m confused, I thought she’d be relieved everything was going so well and that she didn’t have to worry about taking care of me anymore.”

“You need a different book for this stage of your life.” Dorian said holding his first choice up, “This book has two very specific purposes. Hopefully, it would bring to light an element of your life that we really do need to fix - and also to make me laugh.” He put it back in the stack he had laid out, “Let’s see what else we can find.”

Enasal sighed and looked down at the floor, “I just thought she’d be proud of me.”

Dorian stopped to look at her. He heaved a sigh of his own, “Enasal, your sister isn’t used to the idea of you having a life outside of her. I’m sure it’s jarring to see you’ve managed to stave off death and social suicide despite your numerous attempts.”

She ignored Dorian’s joke, “She barely even smiled.”

“Did she talk much to your clanmates?”

Enasal narrowed her eyes in though, “I don’t really remember. The clan was happiest when I was far away enough that they couldn’t see me, so I usually ended up camped a mile or two away.”

“Did she say anything about anyone else?”

She tilted her head, “A few names, but not much else. She went on a lot of hunts, though.”

Dorian had pulled a few books down and was stacking them nearby. “Family members are unpredictable, Enasal, they forget you are an independent life outside of the family home. Terrible for decision-making, really.” 

When Enasal stayed quiet, he leaned forward, “Would it make you feel better if I were to tell you that I’ve already spoken to Leliana?”

“Leliana? Why Leliana?”

Dorian grinned, “Well, she kills people with arrows, I presume your sister could do the same… possibly  _ has _ done the same.” He started leafing through the books he had set aside, “I asked if she would mind taking you sister under her deadly wing.”

Enasal slowly nodded, “That… might actually work really well for Shiral!”

“I do have my moments, don’t I?”

She clapped her hands tougher, “Thank you, Dorian! You’re a good friend.”

“And there it is, the sappy ‘hooray friendship’ speech.” He handed her one of the books, “I would say you need more friends, but you’d be insufferable.” 

“You’d still want me around.” Enasal said, examining the book.

“Unfortunately.” He leaned forward to poke the first page, “A bit advanced for you, but I think you’ll manage.”

“And the other book?”

“The other book you don’t  _ get _ right now. I had a plan and you spoiled with your personal problems. We’ll look at that book next time, shall we?”

“Cagey.” Enasal said, opening her new book and feeling around in her pockets for her reading stick.

.

.

Shiral shut the door behind her, staring at her sister’s advisors with narrowed eyes and defiant posture.

“Enasal said I was needed here.”

“Good morning, Shiral.” Josephine said, “We wanted to have an official meeting before moving forwards.”

“You can relax.” Leliana promised, “This is just a formality.”

“I’m fine.” Shiral droned, “Enasal’s already given me a tour.”

“I’m sure.” Josephine smiled, “Enasal was quite excited when you arrived.”

“She’s always excited.” Shiral said, staring down Leliana and Josephine in equal measure.

“That she is.” Cullen agreed.

Shiral cut her eyes to him before turning her attention back to Josephine. “Thank you for giving me a room close to my sister’s.”

“Of course.” Josephine said, “Please let us know how we can make your time in Skyhold comfortable, I know it can be very different for the Dalish.”

Leliana stepped forward, “There is something I would like to discuss. The Commander told us how you were able to near-miss so accurately. I’m impressed.” She nodded to the door, “Enasal is taking a small entourage out of Skyhold for the day.”

Shiral’s relaxed facade fell. She set her jaw and shifted her weight. “Why?”

“Enasal reacts strangely to magic.” Cullen offered, “Her teacher and a few of our other mages would like to understand why.”

Leliana took over, “I wondered if you would want to accompany her or stay here and do some work with me. If your arrows fly as well as the Commander says, I would like to take you on as one of my people.”

“Your… people?”

“Spies.” Cullen said.

“I didn’t ask you.” Shiral spat. 

Josephine glanced over at Cullen and mouthed, “I don’t know.”

Shiral back to Leliana, “You have spies?”

Leliana nodded, “Of course. An organization as large as ours needs ways to keep on top of things.”

Shiral frowned, “And… who’s going with my sister, tomorrow?”

Josephine flipped through her clipboard to consult one of her lists, “You’ve met many of them, I believe. Dorian seems to have taken over the whole ordeal and is bringing a few of his research assistants. Solas and Madame Viviene will be in attendance, as well as the Commander and one of his soldiers.”

Shiral poured her lips.

“The Commander used to be a templar.” Leliana explained, “If something goes wrong with the magic involved, we hope he can counter it to keep your sister safe.”

Cullen nodded, “Dorian assures me that-”

“I’ll go with my sister.” Shiral interrupted, “We stay together.”

Leliana nodded, “I thought you might. Think about working with me on your return, yes?”

Shiral tilted her head back and forth just as Enasal did when she was unsure of something, “I don’t know. I need to be sure my sister is safe with your people.”

Cullen had opened his mouth in an attempt to reassure her, but Josephine beat him to it, “I can assure you, we all have Enasal’s best interests at heart. We’re all quite attached.”

“I’ll take you to your sister.” Leliana said, “And on the way we talk about your assorted skills.”

When Leliana and Shiral were out of earshot, Josephine shook her head and laughed, “Andraste’s mercy, Commander, the woman’s been here less than a day and she already noticed.”

_ “Josephine _ .”

“And,  _ my  _ does she have an opinion of you!” 

“Oh, she hates me?” Cullen muttered, “Thank you for telling me, I hadn’t noticed.”

“Just be polite and make it obvious that Enasal’s safety is your main concern - I’m sure she’ll come around.”   
  
  



	65. Chapter 65

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal participates in a study of her reaction to different types of magic. Tensions between Shiral and the rest rise.

Try listening to: [07 Act 3 01 Green Requiem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbw0ceN62NA)

“If I could have everyone's attention.” Dorian called out, “I would like to talk about today’s experiment.”

Conversations and wanderings were halted.

“Good.” He said with a nod, “Now today we will be doing a portion of an observational experiment concerning Inquisitor Enasal and her reactions to magic. It has been noted that Enasal seems to sense magic through smell, taste, and sound. We are here to document and test multiple types of magic and see if we can draw any more conclusions. Any questions before we begin?”

One of his assistants spoke up, “Ser, did you still want to have the observers take notes?”

“Yes, please.” Dorian said, “I know we all have our jobs here, but even a mental note that you scribble down later would be most helpful.”

Shiral had placed herself in front of her sister, “What exactly are you looking for?”

Dorain shook his head, “We’re documenting how she reacts to magic, _do_ try to keep up.” He pointed to the encircled chair,

“Enasal, shoes on and come sit down.”

Shiral grabbed her sister’s shoulder.

Enasal shook her head, “It’s okay. They aren’t casting any spells on me, just around me.” She took Shiral's hands and squeezed it, “Don’t worry, everyone is here to help.

Dorian kneeled down as Enasal settled in her chair, “I would ask you to put your legs up so that your feet aren't touching the ground - but oh! Look at that, they already don’t.”

She glared.

Dorian patted her shoulder as he stood, “Excellent!” He addressed the small group, its numbers not dampening his showmanship. “We will be conducting these experiments no less than four times. Once, inside of a building and once outside. We will repeat the experiments with and without Enasal wearing shoes. Solas?”

Solas nodded, “For any of you who are not aware of Enasal’s peculiarities, there are marked changes in Enasal’s behavior and abilities when she is and is not wearing shoes and in contact with the natural ground. She describes this as ‘connection’ but is unsure why she called it that.”

“Thank you, Solas.” Dorian said, “If everyone could find their places.” Dorian nodded to Shiral’s feet, “If you could stay outside the drawn circle, it would be most helpful.”

Enasal leaned forward in her chair so she could see around Solas, “It’s just to make sure the magic is contained if something goes wrong.”

Vivienne swept into Shiral’s view, a full smile on her face and offering an open hand, “Shiral, my dear we’ve barely spoken. Come, let’s get out of the way while they finish preparing.”

Shiral relented, but backed up the distance so her sister remained in full view. The elven mage - Solas was it? Had kneeled by her sister and was speaking to her. Enasal’s back was straight and her posture relaxed. She was listening intently and nodding. She said something that made her teacher shake his head. Enasal was laughing at whatever expression he had put on.

She was completely comfortable and unafraid.

Solas bent to touch his forehead to hers, standing straight, and patted her head before returning to Dorian.

“I will say this.” Vivienne leaned into Shiral, “Solas and I disagree on many things, but I do enjoy watching him with your sister. He’s so attentive to the poor thing.”

“Poor thing?”

Vivienne leaned back and looked at Shiral with a wry smile, “But of course, your sister has been through so much, the poor dear.” She smiled, “Smart, though. People fail to realize it, but there’s a very clever brain in all that sunshine.”

“If you aren’t too busy, Lady Vivienne.” Dorian called, “Would you mind gracing us with your presence?”

Vivienne smiled and rolled her eyes, “The boys need me, dear. Enjoy the show.”

How was Enasal so unconcerned?

With each spell cast, one of the mages Enasal would rattle off how the spell was affecting her. There was little of consequence for most of the spells. After each spell, everyone was asked to write down anything they thought might be of consequence. Shiral kept mental notes and decided to discuss her own notes with Solas at the end of the day.

After resetting everything for the next spell, Shiral watched Dorian break away from the other mages and go to Cullen.

“Commander, take this.” She heard Dorian say, “I have a feeling she might not like the next spell. If she has any trouble, give her some of this, it will help snap her out of it.” He leaned in, “I”m not sure how Enasal will react to her sister in a dazed state, but I’ve seen her react to you in such situations.”

That put Shiral’s teeth on edge.

The human mage returned to the group and said something briefly to Enasal. Her sister nodded and closed her eyes.

One of Dorian’s assistant dumped a few dead birds into the circle. He nodded to Dorian, who returned the gesture and stepped up to the animals.

Enasal winced.

The birds near her feet were twitching and attempting to stand.

Enasal shook her head and batted at the air, a displeased whimper escaping. At first, she breathed purposely, stretching her fingers out flat before balling them up into fists. She gasped and said, “No, no, no, I don’t like this!”

Dorian made a cutting gesture with his hands and the birds fell.

Enasal was out of the chair and out of the circle, shaking her head and hopping up and down.

“ _Da’litn’in!_ ” Shiral shouted, catching Enasal by the shoulders and spinning her so Shiral could look at her. But Enasal continued to shake her head.

“Pardon.” Cullen was on Enasal’s other shoulder, “Enasal, it’s alright, the spell is gone.” He pulled out the bottle Dorian had given him and uncorked it, “Here, Dorian said this would help."

Enasal nodded with squinted eyes and drained the bottle. She came up from it, coughing and shaking her head. She looked straight at Dorian, “What did you do?”

Dorian seemed muted, “I’m sorry. Would you?”

“It smells like a rotting corpse and there are flies in my hair, now tell me!”

The mage shook his head, “Necromancy, not the prettiest of magic, I know.”

“I don’t-” Enasal started.

Shiral cut her off, “She doesn't know what that is.”

“Reanimating the dead, I’m afraid.” Dorian continued. “I’m sorry, Enasal. I expected that it might startle you, but I didn’t realize it would upset you. We’ll pick back up another day.”

Cullen squeezed Enasal’s shoulder before advancing on Dorian, “A word? Now.”

He nodded, seeming unsurprised, “Shiral, do keep an eye on her, yes?”

“I was planning on it.” She said, guiding Enasal to sit beside her.

“Reanimate?” Enasal asked.

Shiral nodded, “Dorian? _Dinathe’dirthelan.”_

_“Dinathe’dirthelan?”_

Shiral nodded. They say ‘necromancy.’”

Enasal shook her head in confusion, “But that doesn’t make sense.”

“He’s Tevinter.” Shiral said, “Slavers, the lot of them.”

Enasal thought that sounded ugly coming out of her sister’s mouth. Had she really said things like that?

Cullen and Dorian had returned, both looking thoroughly irritated with the other.

“Enasal, your Commander has said we could continue the experiment provided that we use neither necromancy nor blood magic and that Enasal is comfortable with proceeding.”

Enasal nodded, “We can finish as long as you don’t do… that.”

“Find your positions.” Solas called out, “We need to continue if we want to return to Skyhold by sunset. Enasal stopped by Cullen and said, “Give him a chance to explain himself, remember?” Cullen nodded grudgingly.

As she passed Dorian and sat down, she whispered out, “He’s just worried.”

“Of course he is, I had a little band of avians doing a jig around your tiny feet.”

“You made them dance?”

“More jittering and stumbling really.”

“That’s unsettling.” Enasal said.

Dorian laughed, “That was child’s play. You should see what others can do.”

That was slightly more horrifying.


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas is happy to get to listen to Enasal's 'dalish'.

Accompanying music: [joe hisaishi - sanpo(guitar solo)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euNlEGKkv8M)

Enasal and Shiral were chattering amongst themselves as Enasal painted. Solas stood nearby, listening as they spoke in Dalish. Shiral had grudgingly given permission for him to listen to them speak, only after Enasal’s light-hearted “Of course!” lit up the room.

But her foul mood lifted as she and her sister spoke, their language forming an effective barrier between them and most of Skyhold. 

They talked over each other and laughed without interruptions. It was like it had been for so long, just Enasal and Shiral, speaking in their native tongue, completely oblivious of everyone else.

They didn’t speak of Skyhold, or Enasal’s friends, or anything human.

Just Enasal. Just Shiral. Just their shared memories.

Nobody else.

And then it was ruined.

“En!”

Enasal stopped speaking Dalish when she saw her friend, “Krem!”

He grinned and looked around the paintings, “These are good, Solas. Can’t believe it’s taken me so long to get down here.”

Solas glanced up from his papers and nodded, “Thank you.” 

Enasal twirled her paintbrush around, “You should be ashamed of yourself, not coming to see my work.”

“Oh, the painting that you said you weren’t good at?” He stood beside her and nodded, “Not bad at all, you liar.”

Shiral stood to confront him, but Enasal laughed and nudged him with her elbow, “Hush, you.”

Shiral shook her head.

She wished he’d leave.

Enasal started fussing with her paints, “Krem? I heard Dorian and Cullen had an argument on the battlements. Did you see what happened?”

Krem smirked, “Surprised you didn’t find me sooner.”

“And?” 

Krem chuckled, “Dorian and your Commander are fine - just needed to get it out of their systems.” He lowered his brow and pointed at Enasal, “There will be no necromancy in Skyhold - or in the Inquisition! Never would I have thought I would have to say those words!” Krem laughed to himself and put a hand over his face, “Now, Commander, I hardly plan on raising every insect or man that falls at my feet.”

He shook his head, “I could go on, but you get the picture.”

At first, Enasal laughed at his impressions, but the laughter dwindled down to nothing as Enasal’s eyes grew heavy with concern.

Krem laughed, “It’s  _ fine _ . They drew their lines and everyone understands each other. Didn’t seem too upset when they parted ways.”

Enasal heaved a sigh - she was glad to know that there would be no enemies made that day.

Krem noticed Shiral standing with hunched shoulders, he smiled and raised a hand in greeting, “Do you paint like your sister?”

Shiral wondered if she should stop her eyes from narrowing and her jaw from setting - he seemed like he might be okay. 

“No.”

“You might try.” Krem suggested, “Something you could do with your sister.” He smiled despite her lack of response. He stepped a bit closer to Enasal than Shiral liked. He bent over and spoke softly.

“Is everything okay?” Enasal asked aloud.

Krem laughed and grabbed her head, rolling it around on her neck, “En, if someone is whispering, they typically want you to whisper too.”

“But it’s just Shiral and Solas.”

Krem shrugged, “I know - I just…” He leaned down, but this time Shiral could pick up the whisper, “I  _ think _ I want to tell her, but I’m not sure. If I do, things might get complicated but… whether I tell her or not, I want you to know so if words get out, you’ve heard it from me.”

Enasal looked worried, “But is everything okay? You’re worrying me.”

He laughed, “Find somewhere quiet after dinner?”

Enasal nodded.

“Everything’s fine, En. Don’t worry.” He waved and called out a goodbye to Shiral.

“That was weird.” Enasal said, turning to her sister and Solas, “Krem’s never been secretive… at least not with me.”

Solas was still scribbling something down, “I doubt he sees you in the same light as he sees Shiral and myself.” He said simply. 

“I swear, if he brings up Cu-” She shut her mouth.

Solas chuckled.

“What?” Shiral demanded.

Enasal waved her away, “Don’t worry. Let's get something to eat - I’m starving.”

She automatically led Shiral and Solas to the Bird in the Hand, but Shiral seemed so anxious at the full-capacity tavern that Enasal waved goodbye to Cook and led the way to the Herald’s Rest. 

They ate through tense conversations. Solas still scribbled every so often as the sisters talked, but it was quiet and muted. Shiral simply didn’t talk in public at length.

Enasal leaned forward as she spoke pushing her hair out of her eyes. She stopped, pushed her hair back again, and sat back in her chair.

“Shiral?”

Shiral looked up.

“Could you cut my hair?” Enasal asked, “It’s been driving me crazy but… I’m not sure who I would even go to.”

Shiral nodded, “Of course! I can…” She blinked in sudden realization. “I can cut your hair! And look at you, you’re dressed just like a human,  _ I could make you new clothes!”  _ She clapped her hands together, “And I can make you some cream for your ears, they have so many freckles! You have to take better care of them - I have to take better care of  _ you _ !”

Enasal was nodding slowly, only commenting, “But I like my freckles.” as Shiral rattled on.

“I’ll go get my scissors!” She said, getting up and taking off towards Enasal’s room.

Enasal shouted, “Wait, you can’t cut it in the tavern!” She hopped from one foot to another and glanced at Solas, “I have to go, I’m sorry I’m not sure what-”

“Enasal, sit.” Solas said, “She has found a purpose, for now. Allow her to enjoy it.”

She eased back into her chair, still “What do you mean?”

“Shiral helped you before all of this, didn’t she? You’ve shared with me what a terrible hunter you were, and Shiral always made sure you had food and helped you find safe places to sleep.” He was flipping through his notes, “She is used to taking care of you and being needed - much more involved than anyone here. She will need time to adjust to your new independence. I’m sure it has been a shock to no longer be so needed.”

“But…” Enasal said, worrying with her fingers, “I  _ do _ still need her.”

“Not as much as she would like.” He said.

Enasal heaved a sigh.

Solas echoed the sentiment and leaned forwards, “Would you like to hear something? You’ll like it.”

She nodded.

“I think I understand you and Shiral’s ‘Dalish’.”

Enasal sat up straight, “Really! What is - oh! Solas!” she clapped her hands, “We should have a party tonight to celebrate!”

He chuckled and shook his head,  _ “Ma dalen.” _

“We  _ should! _ If you’ve figured something out, then it’s…” She stopped, “Then again…” She looked at Solas and her shoulders slumped, “I’m worried about Krem.”

“I know.”

“He kept saying everything was okay. Do you think it is?”

“I wouldn’t claim to know.” He said. “Go find him, I’ll stay here until your sister comes back.”

Enasal nodded and took off.


	67. Chapter 67

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So for anyone who isn't here from my tumblr blog, I've used a lot of traits from a friend who is no longer with us. Since we don't get a lot of information on Krem, I've supplemented with some traits of my old friend, Adam.

[ Count on Me ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBwZ2skYg3Y)

When Enasal found Krem, he was wandering near the practice field, still in his plainclothes. Bull must have forced him to have a full day off, since Krem usually ignored a suggestion.

“Too much free time?” Enasal chirped.

He looked at her and grinned, “Don’t really know what to do with myself. Chief made me take the day, said I was getting fidgety.” 

“I thought so.” Enasal tilted her head back and forth, “Do you… wanna have that talk now?” Her smile was small and unsure, “You have me a little worried.” 

He sighed and shook his head, “Trust me, En. You’re not the one who needs to be worried.” He looked to some of the nearby soldiers, “We should go somewhere else.”

Enasal nodded past the fields, “When we came back from the mire there were flowers blooming over there. I could show you how to make flower chains while we talk.”

He laughed, “We’ll see about the flower chains, but yeah, seems like a good spot.” 

After a mile walk they found the flower patch Enasal had mentioned and sat down. “Is everything  _ really _ alright?’ Enasal asked as she began to pick flowers, “It’s not like you to be all secretive

“I know.” He lay on his back, avoiding eye contact. “I have to tell you something, En. I’ve waited too long - scared I think.”

“What?” Enasal had made a pile of flowers in her lap, and was tying the first few together.

He sat up and rubbed his temples, “I might need your advice for something if I can get the heart to tell this girl something, and I  _ want _ your advice. But you won’t understand why things could be complicated until I tell you something else.”

Enasal continued to chain flowers together. She didn't know the common names for all of them. She had picked a bundle of daisies and purple-petaled flowers and a few long spears of grass. She spotted some yellow flowers a few yards away - possibly buttercups. 

She smiled, this time it was warm and soothing, “You can tell me anything.”

“Ugh.” Krem flopped back down in the grass. “En, you know how sometimes people can be born and everything’s not put together quite right? “ He sat up, “You know how some people can be born without an arm or with an extra finger?”

Enasal nodded, adjusting the chain into a small crown and setting it on her head. “Shiral said she saw a human in a city missing an arm.” She grabbed a few more flowers out of her lap and began a new chain.

“Well I… I was born not…” He fussed with his hair, before flopping back down on the grass. He couldn’t seem to get comfortable. “I wasn’t born like I should have been.”

Enasal looked up from her flowers, “What do you mean?’

He picked at the grass as he organized his thoughts, “What do you think I am?”

“... how do you figure?”

He was sitting up again, fidgeting his legs until he settled on sitting with his legs folded, “Okay, simple it is. Are you a man or a woman?”

Enasal laughed, “What?”

“I know, I’m trying to-” He pinched the bridge of his nose, “Okay. So what am I?”

She looked at him, blinking a few times. “A man? If this is a joke, I think I might be missing some words.”

Krem laughed - it sounded bitter - “You’re half-right.”

Enasal had gone back to making her crown, but was much less focused, “What am I wrong about?” 

She glanced up. Krem had clutched his hands together, rendering his knuckles white and staring at the ground. She picked up her flowers and sat close to him, “Krem, it’s me. You can tell me  _ anything. _ Tell me what’s wrong.”

_ “Me.” _ He said, rubbing his temples, “You’re right En. I’m a man - my soul, my heart, my mind… but not - ” He gestured to himself, “Not this. My body doesn’t match.”

Enasal was tilting her head back and forth, “What do you mean?”

“My body doesn’t match - I was born a girl.”

His friend blinked slowly, and his heart pounded.

“I didn’t know that could happen.” Enasal admitted.

Krem sighed in relief and sank back into the grass, “You don’t hate me?”

Enasal laughed, “Why?”

“Some people think people like me shouldn’t exist.” 

Enasal stretched out on the grass beside him. “Well, they don’t know what they’re missing and I feel sorry for them.” She poked his nose, “Missing out on a perfectly good friend just because of that.”

He laughed and sat up, shaking his head, “Chief said you wouldn't care and I believed him but… it was in the back of my head.”

Enasal tied off the flower crown and lowered it on his head, “You’re stuck with me.” She laughed and laid her head on his shoulder, watching a flock of birds fluttering in the grass nearby.

“Krem?” She asked.

“Hm?”

“You’re my...” She paused and snapped her fingers, “It’s like a friend but… top! You’re my top friend!”

He covered his face and laughed. A second passed before he put an arm around her to hug her tight, “You too, En.”


	68. Chapter 68

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shennanigans in the inner-circle's private meeting room and a conversation under the stars.   
> And one big ole false start (thanks Varric). 
> 
> If you're interested in what I listen to as I wrote, check out the links in the text if you want to read with the music.

##  Chapter 68

[ Merry-Go-Round of Life (from "Howl's Moving Castle") - Vitamin String Quartet ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGqVQ1L7pqk)

“There you are,  _ da’lath’lin _ .” Shiral cooed, “Pretty as a flower.”

Enasal shook her head, the shortened curls much more pleasant. “Thank you, it feels so much better.” She felt along her scalp, “You know, I was close to just trying to do it myself.”

“Don’t you  _ dare _ , Enasal!”

“Well, I don’t need to now!”

Shiral rolled her eyes, “I need to make you some new clothes. You’ll need some for warmer weather, what you have now is going to be too hot.” 

Enasal clapped her hands together, “I can’t wait! I’ve missed your clothes!”

“I’ll ask that one advisor of yours for some more fabric.” She nodded to the bolt on the floor, “That won’t be nearly enough.”

“Josephine.” Enasal supplied. “She’ll get it, just let her know what you need - politely.” 

Shiral nodded and started unrolling the bolt, “I can start off with this - the blue will be pretty on you.”

“Don’t forget, you need clothes too!” Enasal laughed, clicking her hairpin in place. “I’m going to go on down to meet everyone. Don’t stay too long.”

“I’m not going.” Shiral said, “I want to start on this.”

Enasal frowned, “But you could start it tomorrow.”

Shiral waved Enasal away, “You go on and have fun. Solas said he’d keep an eye on you for me.”

“I don’t… alright.” She kissed her sister on her cheek, “If you get bored, come join us, okay? It’s rowdy, but calmer than when we’re all in the tavern together.”

“It’s  _ fine _ , Enasal. Go have fun.”

Enasal’s fingers played on the doorframe before relenting, “Alright. My love to you.”

“My love to you,  _ da’lath’lin _ .”

Enasal had made it a point to arrive early to their meeting place. Everyone had gone back and forth for a name for their private room, but they had yet to agree on a name. Enasal had taken to calling it "The Nest" in her head but hadn’t offered it up as an option yet. 

“Hello, Doiran!” Enasal called as she arrived “Hello Bull!” 

“Well, look who cut her hair off.” Dorian said, “Pity.”

Enasal shook her head rapidly, enjoying the lightness of her shorn locks, “There’s still pretty of waves and curls to go around.” 

“Krem de la Krem!” Bull shouted.

He rolled his eyes,  _ “Chief.”  _ He caught sight of Enasal and grinned, “Look at you, En!”

She hugged him, “Shiral did it - I’ve needed to cut it for awhile, I can’t stand it long.”

“It barely touched your shoulders.”

“Well, it was annoying.” Enasal countered, “I can’t stand when -  _ Solas!” _

Bull snorted, “There goes her attention span.”

Enasal gave him the most vicious glare she could.

He laughed - Bull knew when she was  _ really  _ mad.

She grinned and turned her attention to Solas, “Are you ready to share your findings?”

“You’re persistent.”

“You  _ like _ talking about this sort of thing - don’t pretend.”

Instead of answering, Solas nodded to the door, “Varric! Enasal wishes to show you something.”

“Seastorm!”

Enasal frowned.

“You’re keeping him waiting,  _ ma da’len _ .”

She pointed at him, “Once everyone gets here, I”m coming back and you’re going to share.”

Varric greeted Enasal by mussing her hair, “Another night together. Who will bet what, how much money will be lost? Who will be injured, who will possibly die? You never know in… damn we have to figure out a name for all this.”

Enasal nodded, “Want to see what I’m reading?”

He crossed his arms over his chest, “You’re getting to be a regular bookworm, aren’t you? Yeah, show me what you’re reading.”

She held out her book -  Hard in Hightower .

“Seastorm!” Varric said, one hand on his chest and the other hand in a display of fanning himself, “I’m touched!”

“I like it!” She said with a little jump.

He laughed and clapped her on the back, “Let’s get some food into you, your compliments are making me blush.” Enasal waved and called out to her friends as they came, standing up to make her seen as more came in.

Enasal stood on her toes to wave, “Good evening, Cullen!”

He caught sight of her and raised a hand in greeting, “Good evening.” He looked around the room, “It’s coming along.”

Enasal stopped short a foot away from him, “It’s almost done. Blackwell is going to build some more shelving - we want to display weird things we find.”

Cullen raised an eyebrow at her, “Weird things?”

“Here!” She said, grabbing his arm and pulling him to a rotted shelf nearby, “We’re keeping some of the sturdier stuff in here, other stuff is a bit safer in private rooms until we have something sturdy.” She pulled out a stone flower and held it out, “This was from a flowerbed in the Fallow Mire. Solas says he thinks that during a magic-fueled battle that nearby things were petrified. He and Dorian are studying it.” 

“I wish them luck.” He said, “Good or bad, magic is strange.” 

Enasal nodded, ‘It is! And we finished clearing out the tunnel!”

He smiled, full and wide, “I do remember you mentioning a tunnel.”

She grabbed his arm again, “I’ll show you - it’s so neat!” She pulled open a nearby door and went to the corner of the revealed room, pulling up a trapdoor. She grabbed up a nearby lantern and lit it before taking some steps down a ladder and into the dark, “Wait ‘till you see this!” She said with a pair of grinning eyes before she completely dipped down into the hole. 

[ "Where I Belong" - Final Fantasy VII ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t_EueRAHVGE)

Enasal was waiting for Cullen when he got down. It was dark but dry, somehow managing to repel moisture despite its underground state... 

“Look.” Enasal said, touching the cobblestone floor, “This part is almost intact, and over here-” He showed him part of the wall with the lantern, “Those words are elven. Solas is working on translating.” She led him further down the tunnel, “They’re all over! There’s a part at the end that’s…” The sounds of her snapping fingers echoed down the tunnel, “Well, I’ll show you, I can’t think how to say it.” 

Without an answer, Enasal led the way to a ladder, “This opened just outside of Skyhold’s walls. It goes further down for… I think Dorian said it was around a mile. There’s a second exit there, and it just keeps going!” 

She started up the ladder, “Part of the tunnel was collapsed and we’ve cleared all the debris, but it’s just too much to do - Bull told Solas and I that we had to stop because he thought the tunnel would collapse.” She grasped the ladder with one hand, using the other to pry open the top and let in the moonlight. “Solas was  _ really _ irritated about it.”

Enasal stretched her arms to the sky when she rolled onto the grass, “We think there might be all sorts of tunnels, who knows how far they go.” She turned to grin at Cullen. Her smile fell when she saw his face, “Are you okay?” She squinted her eyes “You’re pale.”

“Of all the things for you to pick up on.” He said with a quiet, shaky laugh.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, losing all cheer.

He shook his head, “I don’t really like enclosed spaces if I can help it.” He forced a smile, “Being stuck in a tower full of abominations for so long, I’m afraid.”

Enasal winced, “At the circle?”

He nodded.

“I’m sorry, Cullen.” She seemed unsure of what to do with her hands.    
“I didn’t know.”

“I never told you.” The smile seemed somewhat more genuine, “It isn’t something I often share with people.”

Enasal nodded, “Can I help?”

“Don’t concern yourself,” He was avoiding eye contact.

She sat on the grass and patted the ground beside her, “The grass is cool, it might make you feel better.”

He heaved a shuddering shy and lowered himself beside Enasal.

She smiled and laid her head on her bended knees, “Does that help?

Cullen nodded to the sky, “The stars help.”

“The stars help a lot of things, don’t they?” Enasal looked up, “I like small spaces, myself. I used to sleep in ruins or temples a lot - especially when Shiral was sent somewhere by the clan. I would try to hide, make myself small. The harder it was for anyone to find me, the better.”

“You had to hide?” Cullen asked.

Enasal tilted her head back and forth, “I’m not sure if I really  _ had _ to, or I _ felt _ like I had to.” She sighed, “If Shiral wasn’t around to threaten them, some of the clan would try to find me. I don’t think they had anything nice planned, but I don’t think that they actually wanted to kill me. I think they wanted to scare me - just meanness.”

“If they didn’t want you, why keep you around?” He asked, the shakiness in his voice had started to retreat.

“I don’t know.” Enasal said, “I  _ think _ the idea was that I should still stay around to find someone willing to have children with me - remember, there aren’t any of us left. Shiral says that some of our clan were angry because I won the favor of some of the Keepers from other clans during the  _ Arlathvhen _ .”

Cullen seemed to be going back to normal. His face was regaining color and his eyes flickering back to full life. “Where is your sister?”

Enasal sighed, “In her room. She wanted to start working on some clothes.”

Cullen watched her as she lowered her head and parted her lips to speak. She sat for a second before shaking her head, “Solas says that she’s been so strange because she’s not used to people. I had hoped she’d come, and I knew she might have problems with adjusting, but not like this.”

“She’s not particularly fond of humans is she?” 

Enasal bit her lip and nodded, “She… she still calls you and all the others ‘shem’.”

“I feel like I’ve heard you say something like that.”

_ “Shemlem,” _ She corrected, “I don’t… we’ll, I haven’t said  _ shem _ in a long time.”

He leaned back in the grass, focusing on the large open sky, “I assume there's a marked difference.”

_ “Shemlem  _ means human.  _ Shem _ does too, but it’s… kind of mean.” She fussed with her hair, still surprised when her fingers came to the end of a lock. “I didn’t know any humans before this, so I only knew what Shiral told me.” 

Cullen chuckled, “If it’s Shiral, I’m sure it was all very charming.”

Enasal shook her head, and Cullen saw this was no time for jokes. “I know she’s really mean sometimes and it's wrong I know, but… she’s been hurt. I  _ know _ it doesn’t give her the right to be so harsh, but Cullen, I love my sister. Everything she does or says to you is because she thinks she’s protecting me.” She rubbed her newly-shorn locks again, “Please be patient while I work with her, I promise I’ll find a way to help her.”

Now was the time for quietness and care.

“Was she always this intense?” He asked.

Enasal shook her head.

“When did it change?” 

“I was seven, she was 14.” Enasal said, “She was sent into a human city with some of our best hunters to try to sell some goods. Shiral got separated and was dragged into an ally by her hair.” Her hand found its way into her hair again, “We both used to wear our hair long. Nobody told me that she had been hurt, I heard something going on but I had just recently tried to reintegrate myself into the clan and had been given a pretty big smack to the head. I was still on the retreat and too scared to go look. 

She took her hand away and looked at it, futzing with the red curl that had hopped from her head and hooked around her finger. “Shiral woke me up, told me to stay still, and just started cutting. I was little, so once I realized what was going on I decided that it was time to start screaming. Grandmother came, she screamed at Shiral, Shiral screamed at her, and I just kept screaming.” 

She shook her head, “Shiral had always insisted on me taking good care of my hair so it could grow, and at that age I had no concept of what had happened to her so… I didn’t know what to do - it felt like all the rules were suddenly changing.” Enasal looped her arms on a phantom child, rocking back and forth, “I remember this. After she cut off my hair, she just rocked me and kept saying that she would keep me safe.”

For a second, he thought of taking her hand. But given her previous story, now might not have been the best time for that.

“I’m sorry that happened.”

“But do you understand?” 

“Completely.”

“Please be patient with her?”

His smile was warm, “I will.”

Enasal clapped her hands together, “That means more to me than I can possibly say.”

He laughed, “Anything I can do to help?”

She tilted her head in an exaggerated fashion, still playing with her hair, “Make yourself small and non-threatening.”

“I can attempt non-threatening and hunch my shoulders.”

Enasal laughed, “Your soldier pride won’t let you hunch.”

He fussed with his own hair, “Most likely.” He looked away from her and settled on the darkened sky, “You...look nice at night.” He crossed his arms over his chest and kept his eyes glued upward, “The stars and all that.”

“The stars?” She asked, drawing her knees up and looking off to the side.

“They reflect off your eyes and hair... nicely.” He changed courses, “Your hair looks nice.”

“Really?” She mussed it, “The curls are all frizzed up. Annanson and Vivianne keep giving me cream for my hair to wear at night, but I don’t really use it.” She counted off on her fingers, “And some for my face, and for hands, and for the rest of me, creams for this and creams for that.” She shook her head, grinning from ear to ear, “And now Shiral's been on me about my ears, she doesn’t like the freckles.”

He was suddenly interested in the grass, “You don’t need to worry about any of that.”

“Please,” Enasal giggled, “Deliver that message to Annason and Vivianne.”

“You’re beautiful.”

Enasal slowly blinked for a few seconds, before gasping out a laugh and covering her face.

Cullen laughed “And what’s with this, now?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She laughed, “Nobody’s ever said that!”

It was impossible to not laugh at her display.

“No one has ever said that to you? Not your grandmother or your sister at the very least?”

Enasal lowered her hands to peek out at him,  _ “Inanshain _ .” She said, still breathless from laughter, “They called me cute.”

“They’re not wrong.” He found himself leaning forward to be more at eye-level with her, “But you  _ are _ beautiful.”

A whistle followed by a cheerful, “Hey!”

Varric was leaning over the rim of the trapdoor, grin wide. He waved his fingers, “I’m here now.” 

Cullen was on his feet in a flash while Enasals scrambled up, still giggling, “I can see.”

“Not here to ask questions.” Varric said, dramatically shielding his eyes, “Seastorm, you’ve been summoned. Solas wants to bore us all with something and your favorite attendant is looking for you. Also, Krem is hoarding some sweets for you.”

Enasal nodded, “Coming!” she looked at Cullen, stealing upward glances, “Coming?”

He drummed on his arm and looked along the walls ahead of them, “Do you happen to know where a gate is?”

Enasal nodded, “Oh, yes.” She stepped close, “Follow your right shoulder and you’ll run into one of the back gates in five or so minutes.” She gazed up at him, worrying her fingers, “You’re coming back, right?”

He rubbed the back of his neck and grinned, “I’d rather not go around.”

She nodded in understanding, “Okay. I’ll see you inside?”

“You will.”

Varric let out another whistle and Enasal jumped to get to him. She gave a final, boisterous wave before ducking back down into the tunnel.


	69. Chapter 69

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas explains Enasal's odd dialect of 'Dalish'.
> 
> If you're interested in what I listen to as I wrote, check out the links in the text if you want to read with the music.

[ Merry-Go-Round of Life (from "Howl's Moving Castle") - Vitamin String Quartet ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGqVQ1L7pqk)

Krem shoved a small tart into Enasal's hand when she returned. "Where'd you and the Commander get off to?"

"Hush you." Enasal said a bit too quickly, "I was showing him the tunnels and we got to talking."

"En?" A grin had spread across his face, "Are you blushing?"

Enasal shoved the tart into her mouth, pointing to her now-full mouth and shaking her head.

Krem laughed, "You'll have to answer eventually, can't have a mouthful of tart the whole night."

Mouth still full, Enasal shook her head rapidly.

Krem glanced over Enasal's shoulder and grinned. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, "Annason! Guess where Enasal disappeared to!"

And there she was, an inch from Enasal's face. Annason could give Leliana's spies a run for their money. "I think I already know!" She twittered. "Is it who I think it is, my friend?"

Enasal pointed to her still-full mouth.

Krem snickered, "She crammed a while tart in there, thinks she won't have to answer for herself."

Enasal managed a very dry swallow. She made a show of holding a finger up for them to wait while she guzzled from a nearby tankard. “Why this all of the sudden?" Enasal said, covering her mouth in case a few crumbs remained.

Annason twittered, “Why not? After all,  _ I _ did not sneak off with the Commander. Did you, dear Krem?”

“Not a bit. But Enasal did, didn’t she Annason?”

“She  _ did!” _

Enasal crossed her arms over her chest. 

“Oh, don’t be like that.” Krem said, slinging an arm over her shoulder, “You’d do the same if it were me sneaking off.”

“We didn’t  _ sneak.” _ Enasal fought back a smile, “And maybe.”

Annason grabbed her hand, “My friend, let us sit. Your teacher is nearly vibrating to tell anyone.” With the hand she held, she pulled Enasal closer, “He thinks he is being nonchalant, but these eyes miss nothing!”

Enasal yanked Annason’s hand towards the tables, grabbing Krem by the back of his shirt until he turned and followed along, laughing.

“Let’s go sit with Varric.” She said.

When they sat around them he covered his eyes and shook his head, “I won’t ask anything, Seastorm. Not a word.”

“You want to ask something.” Enasal said, thumping him on the head.

“Maybe, but I’ll ask another time.” He burst out laughing, “Did you see Curly jump up?” He smacked the table, “You’d think I’d thrown a dragon at him!”

“Nobody expected you to pop out of the ground.” Enasal said, “Scared me too.”

_ “You _ didn’t act like the grass was on fire.” He grinned, “Brave little Seastorm.”

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOX5KY7jB1E ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hOX5KY7jB1E)

Solas slipped into the chair next to Varric and leaned forward, fingers arched. “Enasal.” He said, “You do not speak Elven.”

_ “What?” _ It was loud enough to quiet the rest of the room, “Then what have I been saying?!”

Her teacher smiled at her reaction, shaking his head, “You speak  _ Dalish _ , just as you say.” 

Dorian was beside Solas in the blink of an eye, “You say she doesn’t speak Elven? Then what, pray tell, is ‘Dalish,’ then?’”

Solas stood and went to Enasal, patting her on the head, “You,  _ ma da’len _ speak quite a bit of Elven, perhaps even half. But a large amount of your vocabulary comes from other tongues around Thedas. Some ancient and long-gone languages, some of them relatively new..”

“A creole language?” Dorian said, “That would make perfect sense, wandering around as they do.”

“Old Tevene, obviously.” Solas said, “An unfortunate side effect to slavery to the Empire.” He nodded toward Enasal, “If you listen closely, you might notice some familiar sounds.” He gestured toward Annason, “And you, do you not hear how her  _ j’s _ sometimes soften in the way you say ‘Jacque’? If written in the common letters, you might not notice, but if you only listen, you’ll hear it.”

“Any Qunlat?” Bull asked.

Solas chuckled, “Surely you would have picked up on it.”

“A little then.” Bull said, tilting his head to think, “A word here and there reminded me of some old texts, like they are in the Qun.”

“I’m sure Enasal’s Dalish is drawn from all over Thedas.” He lowered himself to be at eye-level with her, “But we will have you speaking full Elven, I can promise you that.” He stood and put his arms behind his back, “Seeker, have you heard any of your own language reflected in Enasal’s?” 

Cassandra frowned in thought, “I am not sure. Perhaps. But I might simply be looking for things that are not there.”

Enasal stood up to give a small wave to Cullen as he came in, Josephin not far behind. She walked up to them, “You missed the big reveal. Solas figured out that my Dalish is a… cre..old… Dorian?”

“Creole.” He supplied, “A mixture of other languages that eventually diverged itself enough to be considered its own language.”

“Seems we’ll have to keep our ears perked.” Blackwall called from his spot by the hearth, “Interested to see if I’ll hear anything I know, now.”

Solas sat on the table, “Let’s see if anyone can hear anything familiar.  _ Ma da’len _ , why don’t we speak for a few moments?”

Enasal laughed into Dalish, shrugging her shoulders.

“Is she being cheeky?” Dorian leaned forward, smoothing his mustache as he seemed to do when he was thinking, “Why do I think she’s being cheeky?”

“I feel like she is.” Cullen agreed, moving to sit nearby.

Josephine rolled her eyes, “She is, I recognize that smile anywhere.”

“She is.” Solas said, “Focus, Enasal.”

Enasal waved him away and laughed, chattering away. Solas spoke back and Enasal responded, laughing. He then leaned forward and said something. Enasal turned red and spoke faster. After a little chuckle from Solas and reassuring-sounding words, she continued to talk. They went back and forth, with Solas mostly asking her to tell stories or asking questions that required explanation.

“There.” Bull said, “Enasal, say that sentence again.”

Enasal repeated it.

“Go slower.”

She stretched out the words as long as she could, grinning wide.

“Don’t be a smartass about it.”

Enasal laughed and said the sentence without sarcasm.

“Last word.” Bull said, leaning in to listen. The group was leaning in too - even Sera had moved to rafters above them to get a good view.

_ “Kuss?” _ She asked.

Bull slapped his knee, “Yes! What does it mean?”

Enasal tilted her head back and forth, snapping one of her fingers, “It’s like… like nature’s power?” She shook her head, “Like, how wind can rip a tree out of the ground or water can carve rock. It’s also kind of a word when you’re saying you’re strong and unstoppable as nature.” She grinned, “Usually it’s said as a huge exaggeration, nobody fully means it unless they’re full of themselves.”

_ “We _ usually use that word when we talk about mages using creepy-ass nature magic. Throwing thorns everywhere.”

Enasal wiggled her fingers at him, “Spooky magic.”

“I’ll break your fingers off, Boss.”

Enasal leaned forward, resting her chin on her hands,  _ “Din.” _

“Are we done studying?” Varric chuckled, “I’m here to drink and play cards, not chat about linguistics.”

“I would think you’d be more interested, Varric.” 

“Maybe another time. Right now I’d just rather teach Seastorm how to play Diamondback. Maybe we’ll find a game she doesn’t lose all the time. Seastorm?”

Enasal wrapped her arms around Varric and squeezed him tight before perching on a chair beside him. She clapped her hand together, “Teach me! Let’s see what happens.”


	70. Chapter 70

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal and Solas try to help the spirit of Wisdom, with terrible results.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.   
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[ When the Grief Lets You Go - Xenosaga: Episode III - Viola/Cello/Piano Cover ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hamTqrtccjw)

Solas’s mood soured in the coming days. Enasal had tried to cheer him up or ask what was bothering him, but he had either dismissed her or outright snapped at her. Varric kept reminding her that her dear teacher was clearly under some sort of distress and that his reactions weren’t intended to hurt her. 

They stung anyway.

Solas was at his desk, wincing at a cup of tea before putting it down and massaging his temples.

“Solas?” Enasal asked in a small voice.

He glanced up at her, sunken into his chair and fidgeting with his cup, still nearly full. “Ah… good morning, Enasal.”

Enasal perked up at the barbless tone of voice, “Afternoon, Solas.” She said with a laugh, “Has your tea gone over?”

“It is tea.” He said, frowning into the cup, “I detest the stuff.”

Enasal raised her eyebrows, “And you’re drinking it… because?”

He shook his head, eyes still trained on the cup - it smelled like lavender, maybe the tea she had given him a few weeks ago. It had been her first attempt at making a dried tea mixture, and she wasn’t sure how to feel that he was using it at this time. 

Probably the first thing he grabbed.

“I need to shake the dreams from my mind.” His fingers stopped the cup’s lazy spin and he looked up at her, as though just realizing she was there. He sat up and set the tea aside, “ _ Ma da’len _ … I may need to ask a favor of you.”

Enasal started a nod that sped with every second, “Anything,  _ dirthalen _ .”

He sighed and got up, pacing as he spoke. “One of my oldest friends has been captured by mages.” He turned to face her, locking eyes with her,  _ “Forced _ into slavery. I...” He leaned against his desk. His eyes were ringed bruise-purple from exhaustion. Had he been trying to keep himself awake with tea, or had he wanted to go back to sleep but was unable? 

“I heard the cry for help as I slept.”

Enasal was quick to agree with an earnest and wide-eyed nod, “Of course I’ll help. How did they capture him?”

Solas shook his head, wincing, “A summoning circle, I would imagine.”

“A summoning…” Enasal cocked her head to the side, “Your friend is a demon?”

“A  _ spirit _ of wisdom.” He snapped, “Unlike the spirits clamping to enter our world through the rifts, it was dwelling quietly happily in the fade.” 

“But if he-”

“It.”

“But if it was in the fade, how did they capture it?”

He started to lift his hands as though to rub his eyes, but instead he clenched his fists and dropped them to his sides. Enasal had seen that series of gestures - he was getting frustrated with her.

“Do you not remember any of your lessons, Enasal? Spirits can be summoned to our world with-”

“Summoning circle.” Enasal remembered, hoping her quick answer would make it up to him. “But, don’t spirits want to come into this world - like Cole?”

He heaved a sigh, “Some do, certainly. Just as many Free Marchers wish to visit the opulence of Orlais - but does that mean  _ you _ want to go to an Orleasian party?”

Enasal frowned and shook her head.

“Precisely.” Solas rubbed his eyes, “My friend is an explorer seeking lost wisdom and reflecting it.” His smile was small and weak, “It would happily discuss philosophy with you and answer your no-doubt endless questions, but it had no wish to come here physically.”

“Were _ they  _ trying to ask it questions?”

“I’m unsure.” He said, “It knows a great deal of lore and history, but a mage could learn that simply by speaking to it in the fade.” His brow creased, “It is possible that they seek information it does not wish to give and intend to…” He set his jaw,  _ “Torture _ it.”

Enasal touched his arm, “We’ll leave as soon as possible - let me pack some things and get Cloudy ready.”

“Hurry.”

“I have to tell one of my advisors and Varric, so they don’t panic and start a search party.” 

He closed his eyes and shook his head, that same sad smile, “Of course,  _ ma da’len _ . I will meet you at the gates.”

“We’ll find it.” Enasal assured him as she ran off towards Josephine’s office.


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiral looks for Enasal to no avail. 
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.   
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[ Hatsune Miku - 深海少女 ( Deep Sea Girl ) Acoustic ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ec6cKkLgc3U)

Shiral stuck her head into The Bird in the Hand, frowning at its inhabitants. Enasal hadn’t been in her room, and her teacher’s room had been empty. She had glanced along the battlements to see if Enasal was bouncing around along their main defense, but only soldiers and a few civilians. 

She wasn’t quite desperate enough to knock on the Commander’s door, although she wondered if she’d find her sister stupidly goofing off in there.

Instead, Shiral turned her attention back to the tavern. Loud as always, crowded as always. Why did Enasal like this place so much? There were so many people, sometimes so many it was impossible to walk without coming into contact with another person. So many soldiers and rough-looking men,  _ shems _ up to her eyebrows, yet Enasal always rushed to get there.

Shiral glanced around the tavern, trying to locate Enasal, or at least one of the people she associated with. The dwarf - Varric, was in a corner playing cards with the Shem warden and the elfin archer that had no interest in her own heritage. The latter two were saying goodbyes; the Warden said something and nodded, while the elf made a rude - and very shem - gesture, grinning and laughing as they departed. The dwarf raised a hand briefly before leaning back in his chair. He seemed fond of Enasal and did a decent job of keeping her on a leash with just a word here and a suggestion there - though she worried about anyone who could manipulate her sister.

There towards the back, the Qunari and his lieutenant. That was a shemlen she could tolerate - he didn’t look at her sister like she had seen some men look at her, eyes going off her pretty little face and wandering around. He looked her sister dead in the eye and felt no trepidation in nudging or gently shoving her sister around. He would laugh and she would laugh. It reminded her of how she and Enasal had been when they were kids.

She didn’t want to go into the tavern. Too many people and bodies and stomping of feet. But Enasal was so small, she could very well be hidden behind someone - their grandmother should have been more strict about making sure Enasal would have more than one meal every day. 

“A gentle reminder” her ass. “Gentle reminders” left her sister half-starved.

Shiral set her jaw and punched at the door frame, steeling herself for the first few steps She managed to find spaces in the crowd and made her way towards the dwarf.

“Varric,” She panted, her face pale from the long journey, “Have you-”

“Well, there she is!” He shouted something over Shiral’s head, but the shaking of the table had scared her so much her entire brain seemed to have flickered off and on. He hit the table, jerking her back to reality, “Seastorm couldn’t find you, she told me to tell you that she had to leave Sky- you alright?”

Shiral leaned on the table,  _ “Yes _ , I’m fine, where’s-”

Varric got up, “You're pale, sit down.” 

She relented and lowered herself down in a chair, “Where’s my sister?”

“She’ll be away for a time, some sort of emergency with Chuckles.”

“...I’m sorry,  _ Chuckles?” _

“Her teacher.” Varric said, “You really should come around more, you don’t even know my names for everyone. ”

Shiral’s face shifted from pale to red, cold anxiety with heated anger, “You let her go?!”

Varric raised an eyebrow at her, “I’m sorry, I don’t  _ let _ Seastorm do anything. She does what she wants, and I just watch to make sure it doesn’t go too badly.” He chuckled, “You should see when I try to impart wisdom on her. Usually goes in one ear and out the other.”

“What? Okay, no, I don’t care.” She shook her head, “Who do I talk to to make her come back?”

“Make her? Raincloud, she’s miles away, might be hard to catch her. No, she’ll come back when they’re done doing whatever they’re doing. Best not to worry.” 

“She’ll get  _ hurt!” _

Varric laughed, “She’s with her teacher, and  _ trust me _ , he’ll keep her safe. The man’s protective - a lot of us are.”

Shiral was drumming on the tabletop with her knuckles, “Don’t you want her  _ here?  _ Where she’s at least  _ a little _ safe?”

“Of course I want her here.” Varric said, “Just like everyone else.” He sat up and began gathering up his cards, “Seastorm does what she wants, and honestly she usually makes pretty good decisions. Troublesome sometimes, but good.”

A deep sigh escaped Shiral and she shook her heads - the sudden lack of fury made the resemblance between her and Enasal more evident. “I just want my little sister safe.”

Varric jerked his head upward, “Tell the higher-ups that - maybe they’ll try to keep her in Skyhold and never send her out again.”

Shiral frowned at the sarcasm.

“Okay, okay.” Varric said, putting his hands up in the air, “I was joking.” He kept his hands up, grinning as he continued playing the victim, “If you’re that worried, talk to Curly. Nightingale’s crows follow Enasal when she leaves, and Curly’s convinced your sister to write letters as she travels - he worries about her near as much as I do.” He pointed at her, “You, dear Raincloud, worry the most. So just ask if he’s heard from her.”

The anger had come back into Shiral’s eyes and she took in a steadying breath, “I’ll do that. Thank you Varric.”

Varric stood, “I don’t like that tone of voice - maybe take a few minutes, organize your thoughts.”

Shiral waved him away, eyes trained to the exit, “I’m calm, I don’t need to take any time.” 

Varric winced and shook his head.

“Dammit, Enasal.” Shiral muttered, back in her native tongue, “I raised you better than this. I go hunting for a few damn days and when I come back, you’ve been sent off as a spy!” She glanced around, gathering her bearings. She hated _shem_ establishments, “And then you get your dumb ass stuck doing their dirty work and dealing with their war - anchor my ass, it’s probably some weird trick.”

She stepped off the stairs and onto the battlements, “Now, you’ve got a bunch of shems following you, looking at your back, probably going to stab you. And you  _ write _ to one of the _shems_ running all this and it’s  _ that _ one, I mean Creators- _ dammit _ , Enasal, I can’t have failed as miserably as this, right? I  _ raised _ you to be smarter than this…  _ fuck _ !”

Shiral punctuated the last word with a fist to the doorframe. The shem commander looked up in surprise.

“I have a question.” Shiral started, “Do you know where exactly  _ my  _ little sister,  _ your _ ‘Inquisitor’ is?”

He looked exasperated, “A moment, let me finish this sentence, I”m rubbish if I stop in the middle.” A few more pen strokes and he pushed the paper aside, “How can I help you?”

“Where is my sister?!”

He sat straight and tried to keep a neutral face, “With Solas. He had an important matter to attend to and your sister went to go help him.“ He rubbed at one of his temples, “I barely had the two of them for a minute before they were off and out of the gates. We sent Varric to find you, but wasn’t able to track you down.”

“Where did you send my sister?”

“I didn’t ‘send’ her anywhere, she’s helping Solas.” He drummed his fingers on the desk, “Trust me, if it were up to me she wouldn’t leave Skyhold.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, “I feel the leader of the Inquisition should remain in headquarters, but things have to be done, and Enasal is the one to do them, her own safety be damned.”

“You have to get her back, then!”

“Get her… back?” He put his head in his hands, “Shiral, I understand you want her safe, we all do. But once she passes through those gates any semblance of power any of us have over her is  _ gone _ .” 

“Then what do you  _ do _ while she’s gone?”

“I attend to my duties, as do her other advisors and we wait. We wait until we get a report.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

Shiral glared, “You know if something happens to her, you’ll be part to blame, right?”

He nodded, “Shiral, I’m very aware of my place in the line of blame if something were to happen to Enasal - deservedly so.”

He waved to the door, “We can discuss this later, please be patient, and I will let you know when I - or anyone else - hears from Enasal.”

“But she writes to you,  _ right?” _

Cullen stood up and busied himself on retrieving more parchment, “She sends me reports on her location, status, and observations.”

“But,” Shiral emphasized, “She  _ does  _ write to you?”

Cullen gritted his teeth. He took a breath to reset his face and turned to Shiral, “Yes. She writes to me.”

Shiral crossed her arms over her chest, “Do you write back?”

He put his hands behind his back, “When I can.”

Shiral looked him up and down before delivering a deliberate blink. It was the same look she had given him when they first met. 

She was not happy with him.

“Mind yourself, Commander.” She told him, spinning on her heels to leave.

“Shiral,” Cullen said in an attempt to keep the peace, “I’ll send someone to find you when I get a letter from her - you’re welcome to read it.”

She stared him down for as long as she could keep her eyes from blinking. When she felt her eyes water, she turned and let herself out, simply repeating, “Mind yourself, Commander.”


	72. Chapter 72

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They fail to save Solas' friend. Solas leaves Enasal behind so he can have some time alone.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.   
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[ FIND YOUR WAY on CLASSICAL GUITAR ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFubjkCqxIg)

Neither of them had slept much in the week they traveled. 

Solas was forcing them to move at breakneck speed, and stops were limited to the briefest of reprieves before they were off again. Enasal had never been so tired in her life - she had always joked how proud she was of her ability to sleep in nearly any situation, but she spent most of her nights keeping an eye on her teacher.

He wasn’t sleeping either.

Enasal had made the mistake of leaning forward and laying her head down on her horse's neck and closing her eyes, when she was woken up with a shake. 

“Enasal, we are not far from where my friend was summoned.”

She nodded and dismounted, sliding along Cloudy’s side and onto the ground. 

Solas put a hand on her head, “Thank you for this,  _ ma da’len _ .”

Enasal shook her head, “You’ve done nothing but support me since we met. Solas, you're my  _ teacher,  _ this is the least I could do.”

He nodded and led the way through the wilderness, leading Enasal along winding trails and rock-strewn paths. He was so intent on his destination that he didn’t notice Enasal stop and kneel beside a corpse.

“Solas! There's someone here!”

He hesitated, looking past the bend in the trail before cursing under his breathing and joining Enasal by the body. 

“It’s a mage.” Enasal said from underneath her hands, “A few days at least by the smell.” She hesitated before moving some excess fabric aside. She pointed to the holes, “It looks like they meant to heal him, probably broke off the arrow points and pulled the rest through.” She looked around, then pointed near some bushes. “I think they’re over there.”

Solas caught Enasal by her backplate, trying to keep his composure and spare her feelings, “Try to stay focused, Enasal. It is not the mages that we are considered with. Come, this way.”

The smell was worse further down the path. It wasn’t just the rot of a dead body, but the scent of burned flesh and hair. 

Solas kneeled down to examine one of the bodies. “These aren’t mages.” He whispered, a shaking hand hovering over claw marks that raked across the man’s body. He shook his head, “No, no, no…”

“Solas?” Enasal asked.

He stood, cradling his head as though struck with a migraine, “ _ Ma da’len _ . I fear I might have brought you here for nothing. If my friend is indeed here, then…” He trailed off.

Enasal carefully took his free hand and squeezed it, “We’ll find it. Try to concentrate and lead on.” Solas still looked at the body below, but nodded and patted Enasal on the head before moving on. Around the last few bends and the trees parted, revealing grass sloping towards a bending river…

And a creature on its knees in a circle.

Solas choked on a gasp and rushed forwards, but Enasal grabbed his arm, “Solas, that’s a demon!” Her eyes were glued on it as its form, bulking and jagged, so similar to that first demon that guarded the Breach.

He shook his head, “Enasal, that  _ is _ my friend!”

Enasal felt her fingers uncurl as she released his arm, “They turned it into a demon?”

There was a tremor in his clenched jaw as he spat, “Yes.”

“How?”

“A spirit becomes a demon when denied its original purpose. They tried to make it do something so against its nature that it was perverted and changed.” His head snapped around to a mage making his way over. “Let us ask _ him _ .”

The mage heaved a relieved sigh, “Thank the Maker, another mage! Do you have any lyrium potions? Most of us are exhausted, we’ve been keeping that demon at bay for days.”

Solas took a step towards them.

It was bizarre to be holding tight to someone else’s arm. It was always her leaping into the unknown, spurred by her own excitement or her own temper, only to be yanked back by her more level-headed friends.

Her teacher wasn’t rushing at them, but she caught tremors in his voice and in his hands. He was trying to stay calm, and Enasal only hoped her hand on his arm was helping.

“You  _ summoned _ that demon!” He growled, “Except, it was a spirit of Wisdom at the time!” His voice dropped to a hissing whisper, and he was inches away from the mage when he continued, “You forced it to kill! You  _ twisted _ it against its purpose!”

The mage had taken a step back, a simpering smile on his face as he nodded his head and fidgeted his hands, “I understand how it might be confusing to someone who has not studied demons, but once we take care of the demon-”

“We are not here to help  _ you.” _ If words could bite, that would have torn the mage’s head off.

Enasal tightened her grip and moved in front of him, “I wouldn’t think yourself more knowledgeable about this than Solas, here.” She said, “I’m Inquisitor Enasal, yes,  _ that _ one.” She pointed up at Solas, “This man is my teacher, he taught me almost everything I know about the fade and spirits and demons, so don’t act like you know more.”

The mage paled. Enasal had never tried to use her name’s weight, but it was stunningly effective. “Please,” He begged, “I was one of the foremost experts in the Kirkwall Circle-”

“Shut. Up.” 

Enasal felt herself shrink back. He had snapped on her on occasion, and he had seen him glower at enemies and heard how he spoke when he was angry, but this tone of voice was different. 

She felt a little afraid of her teacher.

“You bound it to obedience, then commanded it to kill!” 

Enasal pulled him back and he looked down at her.

“Enasal,  _ please!” _

He didn’t know what to do.

Solas knew what he wanted, they both knew what he wanted. He wanted to rip out that mage’s throat, cut off the lifeline of the man who had so badly injured his friend.

But he was asking  _ her _ what to do.

“We…” She reached deep into her Fade lessons and things she had heard the other mages discuss over books and meals, “If we disrupt the circle and find the bindings,” Enasal offered, “Could that make the circle go away? Then, without being forced to do anything, maybe it’ll go back to normal?”

The mage rose himself to his full height, this time his eyes were trained on Enasal, “The binding is the only thing keeping the demon from  _ killing us _ ! Whatever it was before, it’s a monster now. It will rip your pretty head off and toss it away like trash!”

Enasal fully stood in front of Solas: he was more dignified than her, he wasn’t likely to leap over her or dodge to the sky, or any of the other nonsense she had done to get away from Bull and his back-plate-grabbing ways.

“I’m here to save my teacher’s friend.” Enasal said, giving her chin a confident jerk and trying to keep her tone firm - the pleading tones she usually found herself using would not work for this. She pointed toward the treeline. “I would take cover there, we don’t know what will happen when we disrupt the circle.” She stared unblinkingly until he retreated, taking the rest of the mages with him. 

Solas patted her on her head, his hand lingering briefly, “ _ Ma, da’len _ , thank you.”

Enasal nodded, “How do we do this?”

“Just as you said.” He said, letting his shoulders drop, “Disrupt the circle and destroy the bindings.” Solas’s firm tone hitched, “The summoning circle is part of the demon’s current nature - it will certainly attack us as we attempt to break it. “ The barrier that encircled her seemed different, more opaque and bright. 

“Use,  _ caution _ , Enasal.” He said, “Don’t be reckless.” 

Enasal nodded and ran to the demon, stopping on the edge of its circle. 

“Wisdom?” She asked.

The creature’s head snapped up and it glowered, letting out a rumbled growl. Enasal shivered at the heavy weight of hatred in its gaze. She hovered her hand near one of the bindings, “My name is Enasal, I’m a friend of Solas’.” She nodded back to where her teacher stood. “We’re here to help you. I know you may not remember, but try so we can help fix you.” She used her foot to swipe away a piece of the circle.

Enasal did have time to blink before the creature was on her with a scream. The barrier flashed as the demon clawed, and she glanced back at Solas - he wasn’t attacking. 

_ He can’t _ . Enasal realized.  _ He can’t attack it. _

It was up to her.

And she hated it.

Enasal rolled away from the creature and headed to the nearest binding, effectively cracking it with the hilts of her sword and finishing it off with her shoulder. The demon was busy trying to smash through one of Solas’s barriers - it clawed and rained down lightning, but her teacher’s work was standing strong. 

The second binding was down… the third…

She repeated the process with the fourth, whaling on it with the hilts of her blades until cracks formed and crumbled.

Enasal’s stomach dropped at the sound of shattering glass - Solas’s barriers were broken. She switched her grip and slashed at the creature, ushering a scream from it as it stumbled back. 

_ “Enasal!” _

It was up again, lumbering towards her and readying its static-laced claws. With all her weight, all her strength, she slammed into the binding and it collapsed before shattering, landing her on the ground. 

When she was back on her feet, Enasal saw the once-hulking form had changed into that of a woman, eyes blazing with fade-touched light and ears so much like her own. Its robes were reminiscent of the mages she had seen when she first arrived in Haven. And yet every few blinks, something seemed to change, small details or buttons or necklines - as though adjusting itself for her eyes.

[ When the Grief Lets You Go - Xenosaga: Episode III ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hamTqrtccjw)

It smiled up at her before turning to watch Solas as he crumpled in front of her.

_ “Ir abelas. _ ” He said.

Enasal realized what Solas had meant when he had said she only partially spoke Elven -  _ this _ creature spoke Elven. That rhythm Solas had mentioned, that heart, beat with every syllable as it spoke, soothing and warm. 

“I’m not.” Its voice was like a song, one sweet tone stacked on top of the next. Her head turned towards Enasal and she smiled, “I’m happy. I’m me again.”

_ Enasal _ . The word the spirit had used for happy.

Joy in triumph over loss. A special kind of word, her grandmother had said. A happiness that came only after hardship or loss.

Her grandmother had been happy  _ \- enasal _ \- when she knew her granddaughter had lived.  _ Enasal, _ when after so long she finally took to halla milk and grew.  _ Enasal _ , when she grew strong and capable and quick.

Had the spirit done that on purpose? The way it had looked at her…

“You helped me.” The spirit reassured, “Now you must endure. Guide me into death.”

Solas let out a shuddering breath, “As you say.” He held his hands out, his brow creased in a painful wince as he said,  _ “Dareth shiral.” _

The spirit let out a breath of relief and, with a final sad smile and faded into nothing.

Enasal lowered herself to the ground beside Solas. “I’m more sorry than I could possibly say.”

He stared somewhere ahead, “Don’t be. We gave it a moment’s peace before the end. That’s more than it might have had.” His brow creased and he looked away. “All that remains now is _ them. _ ”

From the treeline came shouting and clapping.

“I heard what it said.” Enasal said, putting a hand on his back, “It was right - you  _ did _ help it.”

“I… thank you Enasal.”

She nodded, “Your arm.”

Solas looked down, the blood and torn flesh reminding him of the pain he had forgotten. He rolled the remnants of his sleeve up past his elbow. It wasn’t so deep as to put him at considerable risk, but it would need to be sewn up.

The mage slid down the bank and joined them in breathless excitement, “Thank you!” He said between winded breaths, “We would not have risked the summoning, but the roads were too dangerous to travel unprotected.”

Solas was on his feet, closing the distance between them in striding steps, “You! Tortured and killed my friend!”

The mage realized his mistake and his feet slipped in an effort to change directions, bowing his head as he tried to slip away, “We didn’t know it was just a spirit, the book said-”

Solas grabbed the mage by his robs, twisting the fabric and digging to keep him still. His free hand raised and a spark ignited, growing and swirling until it had formed a blazing fireball. 

“Solas!” Enasal shouted, but Solas ignored her, continuing to say something to the other man. Unsure of what other course she could possibly take, Enasal jumped up and grabbed Solas’s raised arm, knocking him off balance enough so the mage could pull out of his grasp. 

“Solas!” She repeated, “Stop, your arm!” It was the only reason she could think of.

He glanced down at the arm Enasal held, red with blood that dripped down to his elbow, blood that had gotten on his student as she had tried so desperately to get his attention. She let his arm go and took care of the mage in her own way - shoving him repeatedly until he willingly departed.

“Next time you worry about protecting yourself.” She advised, “Try fire.” 

She signed and turned back to Solas, who had sat back down on the floor and was examining his arm.

“Stay here.” She said, “I’ll go get my needle.”

When she returned with her injury kit, Solas had relocated to the riverside again, right where his friend had fallen. Enasal decided not to acknowledge it, but instead sat beside him and took his arm. She stitched it quickly, and silently.

“You’re improving.” He said blandly.

“Thank you.” Her hand was on his back again, “I’m sorry we couldn't save it.”

“As am I.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

He put a hand on her head, but didn’t look at her, “You did everything you could, more than most would have.”

Enasal took a breath as though about to say something, but seemed to think better of it and remained quiet. After a few more false starts, she managed to spit out her thoughts, “Solas… sometimes, when something dies around me, I like to pray. I usually don’t say I’m doing it and I usually do it in my head and… I know you don’t like a lot of the Dalish prayers but…” She looked at him, “Do you mind if I sing the prayer of the dead. Help send it… Wisdom off?”

Solas’s expression softened. She hadn’t expected that; at best he treated the Dalish beliefs as quaint falsehoods, at worse he could denounce them with a few harsh words. But this time, he stared at Enasal with eyes that had glazed and gone blank. He gave a small, uncertain nod, “From you, I don’t mind. Sing your prayer, my child.”

He had never called her that in Common.

Enasal nodded and closed her eyes. A single deep breath led into the first, high note.

“Mother Mythal…” She sang, eyes to the sky and palms upwards, “Know your children do strive, hearts left bruised and torn.” Her clasped hands to her heart, then outward, forming a partial circle around herself, “Protects us as we mourn this child, this sister, this spirit.” Her hand went palm up again, as though offering something to the sky, “Falon’Din, guide this spirit to their final resting place, keep them safe though their journey through darkness and strife.” She put her arms around herself, before raising her hands a final time, “Safe journey, dear Wisdom.”

She fell quiet before adding, no longer in song or in prayer, “Normally… I would make a small offering to Fen’harel to appease him to let their soul pass, but I didn’t bring anything to make an altar. But, I’ll try to hunt something later today.”

“Thank you, Enasal.” Solas whispered. He stood and threw his pack over his shoulder, eyes trained ahead, “I need some time alone. I’ll meet you back at Skyhold.” 

Enasal stood too, but couldn't seem to find any words to call him back. Instead, she watched him go, her hands gripping her own pack tighter with every step away from her he took.

It had been so long since she had been alone.


	73. Chapter 73

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varric and Cullen have a little chat.  
> Enasal's solo return to Skyhold is less than ideal.  
> Scoldings abound.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.   
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[ “Soldier Poet King” 👑 Piano Cover by Zani Scott ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_SsUW8b7ymE)

Varric raised a hand in greeting and he shouted out, “Curly! What brings you to our little hole?” He leaned back from some parchment he had been scribbling on. “News on my Seastorm?”

Cullen nodded, “She didn’t give much information, but she’s safe.” He smiled, “Thought you’d like to know. Good afternoon - ”

“Not so fast, sit, sit!” He signaled for some drinks and gestured across from him.

“I don’t-”

Varric snapped his fingers, “You don’t drink anymore, I keep forgetting. Well, at least sit for a minute, been meaning to talk to you.”

Cullen sat down, “What’s on your mind, Varric?” He couldn’t help but feel reservation whenever Varric said those words - it was usually nothing of any remarkable consequence, but still, it rattled his nerves.

“Listen Curly,” Varric leaned forward, still with a smile, “This is getting stupid.”

Cullen glanced around, nerves officially tweaked, “What precisely is ‘getting stupid’?”

“You and Enasal.” Varric said, “The flirting - the pining. Andraste’s knickers, every time I see one of you go into a room you’re looking around for each other,” He laughed, “And that stupid look you get when you spot each other.” He pointed, “You need to do something about it.”

Cullen stared at him in silence, brow creased in uncertainty. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Varric asked, “The whole situation is driving me crazy. You’re irritating me, and Seastorm is irritating me - Seastorm!” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he laughed, “She has never irritated me and should never irritate me, but here we are.”

When Cullen still didn’t answer, Varric laughed, “You're going to make me spell it out? Talk to her.” He grinned, “Don’t tell me you’re worried?”

When Cullen’s response was less than immediate, Varric laughed, “See? You’re too busy planning your response to actually say anything.”

“I’m sorry.” Cullen shook his head and leaned forwards, “Are you encouraging me in…” He tapped a finger on the table, searching for the right wording, “If I’m hearing you correctly, you want me to pursue Enasal?”

Varric nearly snorted into his mug, “Asking you to pursue would be redundant. You pick her up off her horse and it's all doe-eyes and grins until something forces one of you to go back to reality. You two sneak off and have little chats and your daily walks under the stars? You two have been pursuing each other for a long time now, I’m asking you to get on with it so I can have some peace.”

“And you’re alright with that?”

“Are you my first choice? Not really.” He shrugged, “But Seastorm’s a grown woman, and she’s not stupid. She picks good company - weird company, but good. That girl can smell the good in someone from a mile away. Then she tracks it, brings it back home, and we have a new recruit.”

“Could I ask you something?” Cullen asked, “I need an honest answer and if possible - not to tell Enasal I asked?”

“I’m intrigued.”

“Is Solas going to set me on fire?” 

Varric threw back his head and laughed, “Is he going to-?” He leaned forward, shaking with laughter before he finally pulled it back with gulping breaths, “He’ll either acknowledge it and worry that _Enasal_ might do something stupid, or he’ll burn all of Skyhold to the ground. He’s funny about her.”

“Is that an honest answer?”

“Why don’t you ask him when he comes back?”

“I’d rather not, thank you.”

Varric laughed and smacked Cullen in the shoulder, “He’s not going to do anything. Believe it or not, I think he likes you for Seastrom.”

Cullen stopped bouncing his leg and got up, “Apologies, I have others who’ve asked for updates.”

Varric rolled his eyes and grinned, leaning back and taking a drink from his tankard, “Issue, issues.” He said to himself, “Is there anyone in this place without issues?”

.

.

.

[ 07 Act 3 01 Green Requiem ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbw0ceN62NA)

Enasal waited a day for Solas to come back. He had said he would meet her back at Skyhold, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave yet. What if he did come back, regretting his desire to be alone, or perhaps having his fill of it earlier than he anticipated?

But the next afternoon when he had still not returned, she packed up her things and set off towards Skyhold, hoping she could find her way back on her own. If she had known things would have played out as they did, she would have paid more attention on the way down. Instead, she relied on her sketchy tracking skills and tried to decide on whether the different bits of scuffed earth and broken twig were from them or not.

Enasal sighed and patted Cloudy’s neck, “Maybe you’ll remember how we got here.” She said, “Go home!”

Cloudy didn’t move, instead looking back at her and tilting his head so Enasal would have an easier time scratching his favorite spot. Enasal sighed and stretched out to scratch him, “Bull’s right. I spoil you.”

Traveling alone was no fun. There was only so much conversation that could be had with a horse, and she had forgotten how difficult setting up camp was on your own. She had debated on skipping building a fire, but the howling of nearby wolves was a sharp reminder that, while wolves might have little interest in her, they would be more than interested in her horse.

It had been well-over a week of travel when Enasal began to recognize landmarks, and knew that they were less than a day from home. She had finished packing and was making sure the last embers of the fire were extinguished and buried. She glanced up at the sound of hooves to see Cloudy pawing at the ground.

“Ready to go?” Enasal asked.

Cloudy snorted and shook his head, flicking his ears this way and that. 

Enasal got off, “What’s wrong, good boy?” She asked, going and reaching up to scratching his face, “Do you miss Josa?” She asked, referring to Solas’ horse, “She’s with Solas, remember?” Cloudy whinnied and put his head against Enasal’s chest. She laughed and took the cue, rubbing his ears, “Your little girlfriend is busy, not that you can do anything about it, my little gelding.” 

She mounted and settled into the saddle. “We’re close, she’s probably already in the field waiting for you.” She patted his shoulder, and his skin jittered. Enasal frowned, “Something spooking you?”

He let out another snort.

“It’s okay.” Enasal said, tightening up on the reins and turning him to the left “Let’s go home.”

Cloudy remained tense, but began picking his way forward on her command. After a few hundred yards, Cloudy’s behavior grew strange again. His ears flicked in all directions and he stopped, legs splayed and body shaking. 

Enasal pulled the reins again and tried to walk him in a circle, trying to soothe him with a flood of soft words, but he jerked his head down to yank the reins out of Enasal’s hands.

“Cloudy!” She said, trying to grab back the reins, “What's gotten into you?”

He continued to snort and stop so she dismounted to check him for injuries. Cloudy was not the bravest or toughest of horses, so he would mope and fuss over the smallest of scratches until Enasal took time to examine him. Once she acknowledged whatever was upsetting him, he’d be right as rain.

But he wouldn’t let her. Still huffing, he began pushing her back the way they came. “Cloudy!” She leaned into him to push him away, but the horse shoved her again. He might fuss with noses and refusals to move, but he didn’t push. She hushed him and scratched his face.

That’s when she heard a soft cry.

<https://youtu.be/qGS4G93Q0GI>

There on the ground and against a high ridge, sat a shivering bundle of fur and claws. When their eyes met it let out a few more whimpers and it backed up.

Enasal’s pounding heart dropped to her toes. A bear cub. 

Why a cub? Anything but a cub! 

She’d deal with the most ornery and aggressive male before dealing with a cub. It’s mother was surely nearby. Enasal got Cloudy by the reins and whispered to move, but the cub was afraid of her voice and her movement, and it let out a terrified, human-like scream.

Within seconds crashing footsteps could be heard and the mother, hulking and powerful, burst into the area, ordering its cub up a tree with a commanding huff. It took a few steps forward, a soft, pulsing growl emanating from it. Enasal was the one pushing now, eyes glued on the bear as she pushed a now-paralyzed horse away. 

It seemed they were not moving away from the cub fast enough - the mother lunged and clacked its teeth, an ominous bone-on-bone clattering that chilled her - it was a dire warning. Leave or else. Enasal continued to back up, reminding herself not to run, not to turn her back, to keep her movements smooth and calm. The bear lunged again, and Enasal forgot bear protocol and turned to launch herself onto Cloudy’s back. 

The bear roared and rolled its body into a run.

Enasal couldn’t keep down a scream as she spurred her horse on. Cloudy strained forward, eyes wide and mouth gaped. The world shifted as he leaped over a fallen log, nearly throwing Enasal off. By now the bear was surely gone, but Enasal let Cloudy run until he came to a stop on his own. 

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9w77Rg3Pqs ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9w77Rg3Pqs)

She dismounted, cooing to him and scratching the sides of his face, stopping only to examine him for injuries. He buried his head into her chest, whinnying in a small voice.

“My good boy.” She panted, “Brave boy, good boy! I’m sorry I pushed you back, you were being a good boy - the best boy!”

He heaved a sigh, his shaking body finally still.

At seeing Cullen on their arrival, Enasal put her arms out and shouted, “Cloudy saved me!”

He laughed, plucking her off and setting her down. She kept a hold on his arms as she chattered on, “I had no idea where I was going.” She laughed, “I just let Cloudy take charge and here we are."

“Three days longer than the trip there.” He said, “You had some of us worried.”

Enasal nodded, “That’s why I’m going to give Cloudy a whole bushel of carrots and a big bucket of beer.” Cloudy’s ears perked.

Cullen had carefully pulled her arm towards him, “Focus, Enasal. Better late than later is true, but I was worried.”

That brought Enasal’s focus back and she winced, “I’m sorry, I was so intent on finding my way back I think I just lost track of time.” She bounced on her toes, “How’s Solas holding up?”

Cullen’s eyes flickered upward and scanned the horizon, “I’m sorry?”

“He’s not back yet?” Enasal asked, lines of worrying creasing around her eyes, “But.. he should already be back.”

Cullen’s response was interrupted by another shout, one that highly encouraged him to give Enasal plenty of personal space.

“Shiral!” Enasal chirped, embarrassing her sister and rolling her eyes as she immediately started examining her.

“Enasal, you can’t leave without telling someone! You scared me to death, I didn’t know where you were!”

“I’m alright.” Enasal said, “I tried to have someone find you, but it was an emergency.” She turned to Cullen, “You’re sure he’s not here?”

“I haven’t seen him.”

“He left you?” Shiral spat, “There’s no way he doesn’t know how bad your sense of direction is! I’m going to give that-” Her language dissolved into Dalish. Enasal nodded, but her cheer had disappeared. She was staring in the directions of the rotunda, arms wrapped around herself and knees bouncing. 

Where was he? He should have beaten her here, he should have been back days ago. Why wasn’t he waiting, straight-backed and calm, that slight twitch of a smile he got in the corner of his mouth when he felt a streak of smugness that she had expected. When she got back, she had expected him to scold her for how she had allowed the mages to get away, they might bicker back and forth, but in the end he would pat her head and mutter, “No matter. Off with you.”

Fingers curled around her own, “Enasal, look what you’re doing!” 

She glanced up at Cullen and then down to her hand, a few pinpricks of blood blossomed up along the bite marks along her knuckle. 

“I thought I broke you of that!” Shiral lamented, coming close to look at her hand. Enasal took a step back from them both, flapping her left hand to dull the pain of her own bite. “You haven’t done that in years - don’t start again!”

“I have to find Solas.” Enasal said, back up the first few steps before turning around and saying over her shoulder, “Let me know if you see him.”


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal is not handling Solas' absence very well.  
> Varric and Vivienne do their best to assist.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.   
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[Merry Go Round Of Life](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9w77Rg3Pqs)

Enasal stared out into the horizon, perched atop the battlement walls. Every movement that flickered over the horizon eased her up onto her feet, hoping to catch a glance of Solas’s familiar form.

“Come on, Seastorm.” 

She glanced over her shoulder to see Varric looking up at her. “It’s time to get down.”

She shook her head and returned her outward gaze. “I have to wait for him.”

“No,” He corrected, “You have to eat.” He offered his hand to help her down, “You can’t sit up here all day starving yourself.” When she didn’t respond he pressed on, “Come on, I could see you from the practice fields - Curly will worry.”

She ignored the last comment, but heaved a sigh and took his hands before jumping down.

“That’s my girl.” He said, “When did you last eat?”

She shrugged, looking away and fussing with her hair.

“It’s final - I’m terrified for your well-being.” 

She didn’t laugh. Instead, she was staring off into the distance again, chewing on her middle knuckle.

He put an arm around her, “Let’s get some food in you - the wind’ll take you away if you lose any weight!"

Enasal gave a half-hearted nod, looping her arm around Varric’s as they walked. She sniffed and squeezed his arm, “What if he doesn’t come back?”

“He’ll come back.” Varric assured, “He wouldn't leave you.” He forced a chuckle, “I think he loves you more than the fade.”

“I think it’s my fault.”

Varric stopped, and held her by the shoulders,  _ “No.”  _ He said, firmly, “You always think that things are your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” 

"You weren't _there_." She insisted.

"Maybe, but I know how you're brain works." He tapped her head, "It is not your fault."

She shook her head, breaking away to throw her arm in the direction of the main gates, “But what if I did - you weren't there! What if he’s never coming back?”

He caught her by the shoulders again, giving her a gentle shake, “Chuckles is an  _ ass _ , Seastorm! I know you’ve got that teacher-student thing I don’t get, but he forgets other people exist sometimes - and that includes you. He probably got distracted by something magical and ancient and elven and is elbow-deep in it as we speak.”

Enasal let out a shuddering breath and looked down.

Varric caught her face in his hands, “Look at me. He. Would. Not. Leave. You.” He gave her head a little shake, trying to dissipate the tension, “Let me tell you something, now don’t go telling.” She nodded and he continued, “He worries about you _ \- all the damn time.  _ When you and Tiny went off to investigate the pants debacle, Chuckles had him pinned for an hour lecturing him on keeping an eye on you.” He laughed, “Oh-ho, and Tiny was  _ pissed. _ ” 

She had stopped looking at him again, so Varric tapped her on her head so she’d look at him, “There’s no way he’d trust the rest of us with your safety. I promise, he’ll be back.”

“But what  _ if?” _

“Then I’ll eat Cole’s hat. Now let's get some food.”

Enasal found herself smiling - just a bit, “If it helped, he’d let you.”

“He’d even cut it up for me.” 

The smile grew, but her eyes were still weak with worry.

Varric gave a polite nod to Vivianne as they came down from the battlements. The mage returned the gesture but slowed to a stop when she Enasal. 

Her smile returned as she called out, “Enasal,  _ there _ you are, my dear.” She took her hands and squeezed them tight, “Darling I have been trying to find you _all day_. I need your help with something.”

Behind Enasal, Varric pantomimed eating, all decorum be damned.

“I was  _ just _ about to have some food brought up, would you join me in my study?”

Enasal blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of the sudden shift in trajectory. From the battlements to the ground to the Bird in the Hand, but suddenly, somewhere else?

Vivienne squeezed her hands, “I really  _ would _ appreciate your assistance.”

Enasal glanced back at Varric, who shook his head with a grin, “As long as you get fed. Why don’t you help her out?” 

She closed her eyes and took a shuddering breath before turning back to Vivienne and forcing a smile, “Of course.” She hoped she looked sincere, “How can I help, Madam Vivienne?”

“As you asked when I first arrived, I have been working with the people of Skyhold to elevate the decor here to something more deserving of the Inquisition's image.” Vivienne opened her door with a delicate turn of the knob and led Enasal inside, guiding her to sit on the chaise lounge while she picked a few books from the shelves and sat down beside Enasal.

“I’ve been dabbling in flowers a considerable amount since I arrived in Skyhold.” She said, “The flora is marvelous here, but I’m unsure what they are called.” She laughed, “I simply  _ cannot _ order flowers without knowing their names.” She patted Enasal's knees, “And on a related matter we should keep this between us - people confuse occasional ignorance with stupidity, and I will not give any leeway for someone to make such an accusation of me.”

Enasal flipped through the pages, tracing the lines of each sketch with her fingers as she studied the images. Many she knew, but a few were troublesome with no pigment to guide her mind. As she flipped, the knot in her stomach rolled tighter.

“I don’t know all of these.” She admitted, looking up, “I’ve seen them, but I don’t know what they’re called.” 

Vivienne clicked her tongue, “Well,  of _ course _ , darling. You can’t know all of them.” She sat down, “But you know more than I.” 

They worked through dinner, discussing flowers and greenery, which colors to use where, if they should place vases or garlands. Vivienne had seen the crowns and chains Enasal had made, and she had hopped the bridge between crowns and garlands was negotiable. 

The girl didn’t need noise and chaos to distract her, she simply needed an occupied mind.

“Madame Vivienne, look at this.” Enasal said, holding up a scribbled piece of paper, “Cedar’s always good to keep insects at bay - their boroughs could be used for garlands.”

Vivienne took the sketch and hummed in approval, “A fine idea.” She looked down at her and smiled, “We  _ do _ make a good team.”

A series of knocks made Enasal jerk her head around, going up on her knees to see the door. 

“No need to make a fuss.” Vivienne said, patting her shoulder as she stood to answer the door. She thanked the messenger and closed the door, nearly bumping into Enasal when she turned around.

“Is it Solas?” Enasal asked.

Vivienne nodded, “Yes, dear, it is your teacher.” 

Enasal was ready to lunge for the door, but Vivienne caught her arm and pulled her away. “Enasal, but a moment more of your attention.” She leaned down and tilted Enasal’s chin upward.

“You are more to this world than  _ his _ student. Take care to remember that, my dear.”

Enasal gave an appeasing nod before bouncing her way out. 

Vivienne followed her out, stopping at the door of the main hall and watching with a creased brow. 

“The Iron Lady appears!” Varric said with a chuckle, “I’ll admit, I was hesitant, given how little about you screams ‘motherly’ to me, but that was impressive.” 

Vivienne didn't take her eyes off of Enasal, “As First Enchanter I spent plenty of time with children who miss their mothers, I know how to quiet an uneasy mind.” Her eyes flickered to Varric before turning her gaze back to Enasal, arms around her teacher as he patted her head. He opened his arm to guide her somewhere, and as always, she obediently nodded and followed his guidance.

“She’s too attached to him.” Vivienne said. “And he has too much power over her.”

Varric snorted a laugh, “Seastorm’s like that with everyone.”

“Not like this.” She gave a final stare before turning away. “She doesn’t thrive on loneliness as he does," She watched them until they disappeared, frowning, "He should be reminded of that.”


	75. Chapter 75

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas returns to Skyhold.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.  
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[ Final Fantasy VIII - Balamb Garden piano arrangement ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nAvvc53FdU8)

Enasal stopped at the base of the stairs, catching her breath and steeling herself.

She had no idea what to say.

“I…” She started. Her mouth was moving but her mind was blank. They stared in silence, both waiting for the other to break the tension. Eyes were on them both, wondering what would happen.

“Are…” Enasal had found her voice. Her quiet,  _ stupidly _ shaky voice. “Is everything… how are you?”

Solas looked down, “It hurts. It always does.” He sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his temples, “But… I will survive.”

Her natural instincts took over and she closed the space, hugging him tight around his waist before he could stop her. She thought she might have heard the sudden exhalation of air as she squeezed him, “I didn’t think you were coming back.” She put her forehead against his chest and let out a shuddering breath, “I thought I had done something, I thought my prayers were too much, I know you don’t believe in them but,” Enasal mouth ran faster than her mind, “But I wanted to  _ show _ you and-.”

She felt the familiar weight of his hand on her head, lightly rubbing his thumb between the curls, “No, Enasal. You were a true friend. You did everything you could to help - even praying your own prayers for my friend… and for myself.” His arm went around her, matching her own gesture, “I will not abandon you,  _ ma da’len. _ ”

Enasal looked up, “Where did you go?” At some point, she had grabbed his shirt, “I was worried - I was  _ afraid!” _

Carefully, Solas took Enasal’s hands off of his tunic and into his own. Enasal needed every comfort he was equipped to give. She was shaking. “I found a quiet spot and went to sleep. I visited the place in the Fade where my friend used to be.” He looked away, towards the gates, as though debating on whether or not to return to that comfortable spot under a tree and sleep. Instead, he turned back to his student and her wide, grey eyes. “It wasn’t here, its spot is empty.”

“I’m sorry, Solas.” 

He nodded, “There are stirrings of energy in its void. Someday, something new may grow there.” He pulled away and gestured forward, putting a hand on her back to lead her away from the main stairway, towards the back of the tower and the battlements staircase. Enasal always seemed comfortable there, high up in the air and close to the sky.

“Solas?” She asked, “What happens when a spirit dies?”

He looked down and smiled - it was a weak smile, but unforced, “It isn’t the same for mortals. The energy of spirits return to the Fade. If the idea giving the spirit form is strong, or the memory is shaped, it may someday rise again.”

“Will Wisdom come back?” She asked.

“No… not in the same way it once was.” His brow furrowed and his eyes flicked out, going back to his final memories of his friend. He pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, “A spirit’s natural state is peaceful semi-existence. It is rare to be able to reflect reality.”

“Like Cole?”

He nodded, “Something similar may reform one day, perhaps even a spirit of wisdom.” He shook his head, “But it might have a different personality. It would likely…” His eyes drifted to the ground, “It would not remember me, it would not be the friend I knew.”

Enasal was quiet, tilting her head back and forth. Solas knew that face all too well, she was thinking. After a short time she looked up at him, “Do our energies return to the fade, you think?”

He laughed, patting her head again, “A comforting idea. I suppose the time will come when we find out.”

He sat on the edge of the tower wall, gesturing for her to sit by him. She did, her head suddenly down and saying in a soft voice, “I’m sorry we couldn't save it.”

“Enasal, do not think that you failed.” His voice was firm, “I appreciate what you did for my friend. It matters to me.” He looked out to the horizon, eyes set on the sky, fiery red and smeared with pink and purple of the sunset. He put a hand on her back and leaned forward to look at her, “ _ You  _ matter to me,  _ ma da’len _ .”

She grinned.

And then her eyes filled with tears.

Another rare laugh, “Don’t cry, no more tears. Here, here, give me your hand. Look.” He held his left hand aloft, eliciting a swirling mass of fade magic from the air. The glowing cloud swirled and faded, gaining form until a small, sheer bird hovered above. Its head flicked this way and that, and its wings bustled and shifted. 

He took her own left hand, carefully transferring the bird, wondering if it would hold.

Enasal laughed and stared at the bird. It was frozen still in her hand, and within seconds had swirled out of existence. Her tears were gone, replaced by a grin and ringing laughter as she asked, “Can I do that? Show me again!”

It was something she shouldn’t have been able to do.

But despite logic or reason, she was doing it anyway. 


	76. Chapter 76

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal's friends are happy to see her back to herself.  
> But they're planning something.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.  
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[ You're Not Alone ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D0uY8SvYMx40&t=Mzc0YTJiNjYzZjIzODI4NzU3ZmUyZWZiOGIyZGM0NDc0MDNhNTQzYywxY2Q5ODBmYzY5ZTM3OTUzZWU3OTFkNDEzNDQ1YjhlYWQ3OTI2OGEw&ts=1606670918)

Enasal’s appetite was back in full force the next morning. Cook had been so pleased at the development that she had cooked up a batch of Enasal’s favorites - roasted apples, a thick slice of ham, and a steaming sourdough roll. 

“It’s good to have you back.” Varric said, “You had a lot of people worried.” He leaned back and rubbed his forehead, “Krem was irritated, your sister was ready for blood, and Curly asked me about every 20 minutes if you had eaten anything.” He nodded to the back where the Chargers had congregated, “Made Krem promise not to punch anyone and I think he’s with the program, and trust me, it took some convincing.” He grinned, “Raincloud, though…”

Enasal shook her head, “Not talking about that.”

Varric laughed, “Good idea - probably bad for your digestion.”

“I’ll talk to her sometime today.”

“Good. I already gave Chuckle’s an earful.” He said, “And even I don’t think he needs your sister adding on.”

Enasal rubbed her temples, “Oh, Varric, why?”

“Because he needs to know when he’s being an ass. I think the man might be too far gone in the fade to know when he’s doing it.”

“Ugh.” She stood and dusted the crumbs off her hands, “I’ll go find Shiral and try to talk her down.”

Varric shook his head. “No, you’re going to go see Sparkler first.” He leaned forwards, looking over with arched fingers. “He has something for you.”

The wicked grin was disconcerting, to say the least.

Her oldest friend let out a hard laugh. “Am I making you nervous?”

Enasal hesitated, “Yes?”

“Good.”

She crossed her arms over her chest, “Is this going to be one of those days where you’re going to be mean to me all day?”

“I’m not being mean, Seastorm.” He chuckled, “This is for your own good.” When her frown remained, Varric held his hands up, “Don’t shoot the messenger, will you? Trust me, you’ll thank us eventually.” 

“Us?”

He pretended to deal cards on the table. “Wicked Grace tonight. Coming?”

Her eyes were narrowed with suspicion, but she nodded.

“Get going, Seastorm, see you later tonight.”

Enasal stuck out her tongue briefly, before ducking out of the tavern. 

[ Secret Library Daguerreo Guitar Cover ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3De3eX8mr5vuI&t=ZGYyYTkzZmMzOTQwYzM4MjA4MzQwMmExZDE1MzEzOWQwOTE5YmE4NiwzZDhmZGE3MDM3Y2JiNTdmYTQyNDU5ZTU0NGNkNWU3OTExODI2ZmJh&ts=1606670918) + [ Library Sounds](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D4vIQON2fDWM&t=ZjVhYzU3ODAyNjkxYzg4M2Q2OTgxNzJmYjI4YTEyMjFmN2RhMDZkOCw0YzQzMDUwZjIwZDk5ZGNhZmE5N2M4ZTI4ZWE5NDBhNGYxYjQwNWUx&ts=1606670918)

Dorian already had some books laid out when she arrived. 

“Hello, my tiny elven friend.” He said, eyes darting across a few final lines of text before closing the book, “I suppose Varric sent you?”

Why was he smiling like that?

What were they doing?

What were her friends plotting?

“A book for you.” 

Enasal warily took the book, examining it. It was a small book, both in size and length. She flipped through it briefly and eyed Dorian. “I’ve been reading things much harder than this.”

“Why the suspicion, my dear?”

“I’ll finish it by evening!” She argued, “You and Varric are doing something, What are you doing?”

Dorian took her by the head and shook it around, “Your distrust hurts me, Enasal. I think I might fall into the nearest chair in despair.”

Enasal ducked away, unable to help a grin, “Fine, do whatever you’re doing.” She pointed to the book, “Can’t I have another, since this one isn’t my choice?” 

“Under the condition that you swear on your tiny little heart that you’ll read that one first.”

Enasal tilted her head back with a groan, “Please, Dorian!”

“Oh, don’t be such a baby.” He laughed, “What would you like?”

“Do you have any real books?”

Dorain leaned against the table, “‘Real books’?” 

Enasal nodded, “Yes, like a book…” She snapped her fingers, “Like, Varric writes things that are real and things that aren’t.”

He clapped, “Nonfiction, my dear.”

“No, I want  _ real _ fiction.”

Dorain shook his head, “Enasal, ‘fiction’ means it isn’t real. Since ‘non’ means not, what does that mean?”

“... not not real?”

“Enasal.”

“Real!”

Dorian laughed. “And what ‘real thing’ do you want to read about?”

“Dragons.” She said immediately.

“Dragons?” Dorian laughed, “Not nugs or birds or dogs? Dragons?”

She nodded earnestly.

With a chuckle he glanced around the room, whispering under his breath as he pointed at each bookcase. “Yes, good.” He said, reach to the top of the bookshelves. “Why not… yes, this one.” 

It was heavy when Dorian hefted it into her arms. She braced herself against the ground and straightened back up.

Dorian tried to hide a grin, “Shall I help you carry it to your room?”

“I have it.” She chirped, “I just wasn't prepared.”

“It’s bigger than you are, poor thing.” He tried to look concerned.

“It is not.”

“It’s bigger than your torso!”

“It is not!”

They grinned at each other and Dorian made a shooing motion, “Go forth, tiny elf. Careful with that, it’s bound in dragon skin.”

She laughed, “A book about dragons with dragon skin on the cover?”

“Morbid, isn’t it?” He shook his head, “Do have fun with it, but first the little yellow one.”

After laying the larger book on her bed, she took to beginning the yellow book Dorian had pushed so much.

So sidetracked by the mystery book that had been forced on her, she completely forgot about finding Shiral.


	77. Chapter 77

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiral confronts Solas.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.  
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTnC3strnh0 ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTnC3strnh0)

“My sister didn't eat for three days.”

Solas looked up from the relic he had been studying. Shiral stood at the entrance to the rotunda, shaking fists clenched to her sides.

She was certainly ready for a fight.

“She didn’t want to leave the battlements.” Shiral hissed, “She just  _ had _ to wait for you.”

“Varric has made me aware.” It was nearly a whisper, “An error on my part. I was not aware that my absence would affect Enasal so. I’ll keep it in mind going forward.” He didn’t think the answer would suffice, but he attempted to go back to his work in hopes that she would give up.

First Varric, now this.

Shiral shook her head and strode into the room. “You can’t just throw your hands up and say ‘oops I didn’t mean to’-”

Solas got up from his desk and walked around her, going to Enasal’s portion of the wall and pretending to examine the lines - he did notice they were getting better, more uniform in width and paint thickness, “It is with no pleasure that I recount the past few days.” He sighed, “I need to communicate more with Enasal before I assume she knows what to expect. She and I have discussed it.”

“You  _ can’t _ do that, she’s not going to argue with you!”

That struck him as funny.

Solas leaned against the wall, “You honestly think that? She fights me on something at least once a day. There is much we don’t agree on.”

“That’s strange, because she thinks you're right about everything.” She threw her hands up in the air, “Solas says this, Solas says that! But Shiral, Solas thinks  _ this!” _

Solas’ smile fell. It wasn’t the first time he had heard something like that. Did she really take his opinions that much to heart?

“I apologize if you believe I have too much influence on her. I do everything I can to make sure it is a positive one.”

“Stop -  _ stop making fun of me!” _

He boosted himself off the wall, “Shiral, I am not making fun of you, only trying to explain that you are overreacting.”

_ “She didn’t eat.” _

Solas turned away and went to his paints. Irritation was beginning to boil into anger. He understood what had happened - Varric hadn’t been the only one to let him know. The guilt gnawed in his stomach, flaring up whenever he saw his student’s smiling face. She had forgiven him the second he walked through the gates. 

“I apologize. Now, I have work to do.”

Something crashed behind him. Falling objects, breaking glass, and the futtering of papers. When he turned, Shiral was leaned on the edge of the desk, hand striking its surface with each word  _ “Listen to me!”  _

Solas shook his head at the display. Books, sketches, and theories, and one of the shimmering blue shards. The lavender tea Enasal had made for him mixed in with the shattered remains of the glass jar she had stored it in, completely ruined.

He didn’t like tea, but...

He nodded to the chaos on the floor, “Shiral. Please clean that up.”

Shiral’s face flushed with red and she slammed her fist down, “You don’t give a damn about my sister!”

And with that, he was finished.

“Out.”

“She calls you her teacher but you  _ aren’t!  _ If you knew what that means to our clan you wouldn’t  _ dare _ to call yourself that.”

“Your  _ clan _ has done nothing but harm Enasal. Why would you even invoke them as an argument if you hate them as much as she does?” 

Shiral’s fists tightened and she gritted her teeth. “Enasal would be better off without you.”

His control over his temper was slipping. He steadied his breath and glowered at her, counting each breath as stared her down.

With an angry shout, Shiral grabbed up the objects, slamming each one back onto his desk and throwing the papers into his chair. “You’re awful.” She choked out, her voice bitter, “I don’t know why she trusts you… may the Dread Wolf take you and your hateful heart!” She gave the desk a final slam and stormed out.

Solas glanced at his desk, so many things now ruined. His eyes went to his feet, at the sparkling bits of glass on the floor. He sighed and bent down, carefully picking up the glass shards. 

He hated tea - but this tea had been a gift.


	78. Chapter 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krem's a good friend, even though he and Enasal spend have their time irritating each other.
> 
> I've dropped links to the music (well, sounds) I listened to as I wrote. Feel free to click on the links and read along with the music.  
> Or ignore them, I'm not your boss.

* * *

[Sounds of Summer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EHRGkpfnCs)

The fields outside of Skyhold were alive with bird calls and the rustling of tall grass - one of Enasal’s favorite places to relax. She and Krem came here every few days to get away from the noise of Skyhold and enjoy the ever-warming sun. 

Krem nudged Enasal, “Come on, En. What’s on your mind?” 

Enasal snapped out of whatever thought she had been in, “Sorry, what?”

“You’ve been quiet since you finished that book.” He said, “You got a whole pile of flowers and you haven’t started a chain.” He tilted his head back onto her shoulder, “What’s got you off in the clouds?”

Her answer was to lay down in the grass with the book open on her face.

Krem tapped on the book’s cover, “Did somebody die? Maker’s breath was it an animal?”

Enasal sighed and set the book aside. “It’s about two people who are in love.” Her brow was creased as she looked up at the sky, “They never tell each other how they feel and they both die alone.”

_ “Kaffas!” _ He laughed, looking behind him where she had laid herself down. “Did Dorian give that to you? That was  _ mean.” _

“Then why are you laughing?” She asked, feebly reaching to tap his back with her fist, “I’m in distress here.”

He spun around and laid out beside her, “Distress? Right.” 

“Do  _ you  _ know what’s going on? Everyone being all hinty and nudgey?” She paused, “How did you know Dorian gave me that book? I get my own books sometimes.”

Krem rolled over on his back, “That cloud looks like a dog.”

_ “Krem _ .”

He laughed and sat back up. “I thought we were being coy and not answering questions.”

“We’re not…” Enasal gripped her scalp and let out a frustrated shout, “I’m just trying to wrap my mind over it all.”

“Is it about the book?”

“Kind of...”

“Two people in love, eh?” He put his hands behind his head, “I’m flattered, En, really. But my heart beats for another.”

She glared at him. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Ow.” He clutched his tunic, “Just, ow. My feelings.”

_ “Stop.” _ She begged. “I’m trying to sort out what I want to say but my brain is muddled and I can’t think of how to say some of the things I’m thinking in Common and you’re making it really,  _ really _ hard!”

“Sorry, sorry.” He sat up, “Knee-jerk reaction.”

“To make fun of me?”

He laid his cheek on his hand, “It’s what I do.”

Enasal sighed and rubbed at her eyes.

“Does it have something to do with,” He stretched out again, poking her temple with each word, “A certain person? Probably holds a position of power.”

_ “Krem. _ ”

“I’d guess blond, tall, has a scar you think is cute.”

Enasal covered her face with her hands, doing little to mask the blush that had crept up to her ears. “I hate you.” She muttered.

Krem cackled and clapped his hands, “Finally! That took much longer than it had to.”

“I just…” She looked up at the sky. “I don’t know what to do with that… Feeling I guess?”

“Just talk to him.”

“It’s not that simple.” She covered her face again, “Oh, Krem, this is a disaster.”

This time, he poked her nose, “You don’t think he’s thinking about it?”

“I don’t  _ know _ .”

Krem grinned, “I’ve known since Haven, En.  _ Haven. _ ” 

“How’d you know?”

He threw his arms in the air, “I don’t even want to dignify that with a response,  _ how did you know, _ she asks me!”

“Go easy on me, Krem.”

He shook his head and sat up, trying not to laugh, “Look. At first, I thought that he was trying to be respectful of your Herald-ness.” He shrugged, “He gives you extra time and extra attention - something a military commander is careful with.” He opened his mouth, but the words caught. He crossed his arm over his chest and laid beside her, looking at her face to face.

“En… when you died, he’s the one who carried you back. Cassandra was already yelling for mages and clothes.” He sat up on his elbows, “I was there, En. I met them as they came in. He wasn’t  _ there. _ He was just… done.” 

He plopped down, “I was trying to ask questions - thinking back I was being an ass and doing nothing but being in the way. But when I saw you and asked what happened, he just looked at me and he said, ‘Maker’s breath, she’s gone.’ He didn’t even deal with the soldiers much until you came to - Cassandra almost took over.”

The chattering birds were growing quieter, slowly replaced by crickets and other nighttime bugs. Fireflies were clustered in the surrounding trees, slowly easing their way into the field as the sun dipped.

“Everyone knew.” Krem finished, “I know we joke that guards talk, but really, that’s how everyone figured it out. Some people were just guessing before that, but after...” He shrugged, “No arguing with that.”

Enasal heaved a sigh, glancing over at her friend. 

“Krem…if I tell you something, promise not to make fun of me?”

Normally, he would have teased her about it, but her eyes pleaded as she said it.

“I promise, En.”

Enasal started, “I… I’ve never even  _ kissed _ anyone.”

Krem snickered, clearly not believing her “Course you have.”

“I haven’t.” 

“Liar.” He teased.

She sat up, “I’m not!”

“How have you never kissed anyone?” He asked,  _ “I’ve _ kissed someone before and I’ve got a stone and a half of problems to worry about!”

“I didn’t have a chance!” 

“You had the elven festival didn’t you?” For some reason, Krem had never been able to get his mouth around ‘Arlathvhen’ so he defaulted to ‘elven festival’ to avoid the rare moments where Enasal had something to tease him about. “And you aren’t  _ terrible _ looking.”

Enasal sighed, “Thanks, Krem.”

“I’m not-”

Her face was priceless. Glaring, half-closed eyes and a frown. 

Maker, now was not the time to laugh at her. 

“The Arlathvhen was the only time I ever had with other elves. When I was five I stuck by my grandmother and the other keepers, and when I was fifteen, I just wanted to learn everything I could about my people.” She shrugged, “I didn’t have time - I never even  _ thought  _ about it.”

“Didn’t someone ask you to marry him?”

“Retter.” She sighed, “I barely remember him, much less feel anything like that.” She sat up and picked a flower from the pile, turning it over in her hands as she spoke, “I don’t even know what to do. You’ve said it, Varric’s said it - ‘just talk to him’.” She plucked off one of the petals, “I wouldn’t know what to say - I’ve never even  _ seen _ an actual romantic relationship, not in real life.”

She discarded the first flower, pulling two more from the pile and beginning to tie them together, “But, Cullen… he…” She smiled down at the flower, “Safe. I feel safe.” 

“Safe?” 

“Not… not in a way that says I’m  _ not  _ safe anywhere else.” Enasal said, grasping at words and snapping her fingers, “I’m saying it wrong. So, I'm sitting here with you and I know nothing bad is going to happen. ”

He nodded.

“But it’s different. I know I’m not using the right words but I can’t  _ think  _ of the right words… I don’t know them, I just,” She laid back, thumping closed fists to her chest, “Safe. Do you understand?”

Krem shook his head and smiled, “No idea. But it seems as good of a way to feel as any.”

“And maybe…” Enasal sighed and let her arms fall to her sides. “If there were a lot of people in a room to talk to… maybe he’d pick me.”

The wording was funny, even a little juvenile. But Krem kept it together - he knew what she was trying to say. Someone you could feel safe and special with? 

That was the goal of it all, wasn’t it?

Krem tapped her, “Sit up, come here.” When she was up he put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze, “I get it. It’s not an easy thing to bring up.”

“Why is it my job?”

The laugh came so suddenly he nearly choked on it. 

He gave her another squeeze, “Alright, how about we make him do it? I’ll get Maryden to follow you two around playing love ballads all night.”

Enasal face flushed, but she laughed, “ _ No!” _

“He’ll do anything to get all that attention off of him. Might be enough of a kick in the ass to get him to sweep you away somewhere.”

_ “Krem!” _

“Okay, have it your way,” Krem stood and helped pull her up, “If it’s too much for you, I’ll stick close, alright? Just come get me.”

“I will.” She said, hugging him tight before stepping back to look at him. “Thank you.”

“No worries, En.” He thumped her on her forehead, “Let’s get back to Skyhold. Wicked Grace starts soon and I want to get there before Varric does - I just don’t trust his deck.”


	79. Chapter 79

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's incredibly long, but I think it's long worth the wait.
> 
> It's finally happening! And aall of Enasal's friends are very pleased with the parts they played in it.

“Alright Seastorm, this one is called Speed. You don’t have to beat me with any card combinations or suits, you just have to be faster than me. Shouldn’t be an issue for you.”

“You said the same thing for Bullshit.” Enasal argued.

“Well, there’s less people to beat you, so maybe that’s the problem.”

“Why am I so bad at -  _ ouch!” _

Behind her, Krem laughed and leaned against the table. “Did you  _ dress up _ ?”

Enasal tried to throw a playing card at him, but it fluttered down a few inches from her fingers. “No, Shiral just made this for me.” She stood up and held out the caplet. It ended in a shallow point and was decorated with tassels around the edge and a pattern of stripes and triangles, a deep green that stood out sharp on the undyed wool. 

Krem snorted out, “Okay.” And went to muss her hair, but decided to not be quite that mean and to instead pinch her in the back of the neck again.

“Stop torturing her, Krem.” Varric chuckled, “Although I will admit, she’s adorable in her little boots.”

Enasal stuck out her foot, “These are my normal boots!”

“They look freshly cleaned to me.” Krem teased.

“Someone’s making an effort.” Varric chuckled.

Enasal stood and gave a feeble kick towards Krem, who easily sidestepped it. 

“I’m going to grab a drink.” She said with an eye roll, “Krem, Varric?”

“You’re speaking my language, Seastorm.” Varric laughed.

Krem shrugged, “Sounds good. I’ll just be taking your chair, then.”

“Next time Maryden tells me how sweet you are, I’m going to tell her what an asshole you are to me.”

“You do that - wait  _ she said what?” _

With a skip and a wink, Enasal nipped to the casks, chatting with Bull as she filled some mugs. Annason found them and nearly made Enasal spill the mugs with her excited hello.

“Oh, you do look so lovely, my friend! Such nice colors on you!” 

Enasal flipped one of the tassels. “Shiral made it. She gave it to me a few hours ago and I thought I’d show it off.” She shrugged, “I keep telling her to start selling them, but she ignores me.”

“She is so talented! I wish we could be friends. I would love to see how she does her stitching - oh, that embroidery is  _ perfect! _ ” She glanced around, “Will we see her tonight?”

Enasal frowned and shrugged, “She said she would come… but I don’t know if she will.”

“Someday, my friend, we will soften her heart.”

She smiled and shrugged, holding up the mugs, “I’m on the way back to Varric and Krem. Varric is trying to teach me a new card game that he says I won’t lose.”

Annason tisked and relieved Enasal of one of the mugs, “You are hopeless.”

Back at the small table, Varric and Krem were already playing. Pulling cards out of their hands and attempting to stack them in a single pile, pulling from their decks to the side. They were cursing at each other, especially when one of them got the upper hand.

“Shit, shit,  _ shit.” _ Varric laughed when Krem slammed his final card down. He pointed at Krem, “Do you see this, Seastorm? The sheer amount of disrespect to his elders?”

Krem grinned at him, “You want to pull that and I’m going to start calling you ‘old man’.”

“I’m not that old, just older than you.”

As he laughed, Krem caught sight of the door and grew a wide grin. He leaned back in his chair and nodded, “En, your Commander’s here.”

Enasal glanced behind her. He was making his way over to Bull, shaking his head when he offered him a drink. 

She looked back at Krem before whispering, “He’s not my - Krem, I  _ know where you sleep!” _ She slumped in her chair, suddenly not sure if this was something she was ready to deal with. Maybe tomorrow or next week. Maybe next month… or next year… maybe?

Krem leaned forward, “I’m going to call him over.”

“Krem.” She covered his mouth, but he easily grabbed the offending hand and pulled it away.

“I’m doing this for your own good!” He stood and called out, “Commander! We’re trying to teach En how to play a card game, come over and enjoy the impending failure!”

Cullen glanced up from his conversation with Bull and hesitated.

Bull nodded, “We’ll talk shop later. If Josephine hears, we’ll get a scolding .”

“Having been on the receiving end of her ire, I agree.” He nodded as a farewell and went to the table, where Krem and Varric had started playing again.

Cullen nodded at them, “I thought you were teaching Enasal?”

“Busy!” Krem said, “Varric’s -  _ dammit!” _

Varric cackled and helped himself to the money on the table. “Seems like Seastorm might not do well with this game, the more I think on it.” 

Enasal pointed back to Cullen, “He’s teaching me chess, he has faith in my abilities!”

Cullen couldn't hold back a smile, “She’s renamed all the pieces.”

“A horse is not a knight!” She argued.

“Maybe checkers?” Krem laughed.

“She’s… actually doing well, once she’s focused.” 

“That’s your first problem.” Krem snickered. 

Cullen chuckled when Enasal gave Krem a light smack on the head. Annason scolded him, loud enough to make Bull turn and shout, “My lieutenant, everyone!”

“You’ll find no one else to put up with you!” Krem shouted back, a grin on his face.

Cullen nodded towards the main entrance, “I saw it on the doorway. You’ve named it, then?”

Varric nodded, “The Crow’s Nest. Thought we’d give lady Nightingale a nod.”

Steeling himself, before he could change his mind, Cullen leaned down a bit, keeping his voice low. 

No need to make a spectacle. 

“Enasal, if I could borrow you for a moment?”

She glanced up and asked timidly, “... is everything alright?”

“Yes, but… if you could, please?” 

Enasal plopped her mug in front of Varric as quickly as she could, determined not to look at her three friends. She was sure they were grinning and ready to tease her.

They went up into the battlements as they typically did, passing a guard here and there as they walked down the familiar path. They both were in complete silence. It wasn’t an odd thing for them not to talk while out on their walks, they often slipped into a comfortable silence as they made their way around the battlements. 

But this was not a comfortable silence.

Enasal mussed her hair and opened her mouth to speak. In the end, she closed it again. Up the stairs and past Cullen’s office, it was part of the usual route that they took on their nightly walks. They passed a set of guards, who saluted before continuing on their own way.

Cullen leaned against the battlement rubbing the back of his neck. “Your… sister made that, then?”

Enasal looked down at the caplet again, nodding. “She just finished it a few hours ago. It’s proven to be popular.”

“It should, it looks nice on you - well,  _ you  _ look nice in it.” 

Enasal smoothed it down, “Thank you - I like it. It might be my favorite.”

“Enasal, I…” he paused and shook his head, “Do you remember when we spoke of my time as a templar?”

She nodded, “I heard you were making progress.” She said, “Dorian says a couple of the mages got up the nerve to talk to you about some of the soldiers being a little… hateful?”

Cullen nodded, “A few.”

“That’s good!”

“Enasal,” He started again. “I’m not precisely talking about whether or not I’ve improved, I…” He shook his head as he tried to find the words.

“Oh.” She leaned against the wall beside him. “I… think I know that.” She wished they were at a spot that she could boost herself up on the merlons that jutted up from the exterior wall. She felt a bit more comfortable, more eye to eye. But the ones in this area had a slope, and she worried that she might not steady herself right, not get her weight centered enough, and would be dumped right back onto the stone floor. 

He repeated her name again, shaking his head, “Enasal, I still stand by what I said: I’m not a good man. I try to follow your advice, but I don’t think it’s enough.” He laughed and rubbed his forehead, “And as I say that, here I am…” He trailed off.

“Don’t you think you’re hard on yourself?” She asked, “You’re harder on yourself than you are on your soldiers - and I’ve heard they snap into formation faster than your king’s royal guard.” She made a motion near her chest, threading an invisible needle, “Sew it on your heart, remember? You can’t carry it on her back your whole life.”

And just like that, they had gone off-topic again.

Cullen tried to reel the conversation back. “And that’s it - you think too highly on me… but…” He gave a helpless shrug, “And you’re… good. You put every ounce of yourself into everything you do, and if anyone needs your help, you don’t even ask questions.

He rubbed his neck, “And you’re here - and for reasons I cannot fathom, you’re here every day, with me.” He glanced at her, arms now crossed over his chest, “I hope I’m not reading into this but…” 

Enasal was quiet, and frankly, that was worrying him.

“Enasal, when you’re around, things seem a little brighter.” He rubbed his temples, “Maker’s breath, I had everything I meant to say planned. It wasn’t supposed to go on this long. I was to say my piece and then wait. I’ve thought about what to say in this situation for… a while.”

Enasal was worrying her fingers, twisting them around before finally clasping them in front of her, “I’m always glad when you meet us at the gates when we come back.” She couldn’t help but be embarrassed by the statement - it was disjointed from what he had said and painfully clumsy. Once again, Common seemed just beyond her fingertips, forcing her to lurch and jump to grasp at the words.

“Am I?” He asked, “Seeing this all wrong?”

She took a deep breath, “No, you’re not.” 

There’s no reason this should be this difficult.

Was it all even going right? The women in books were so much more graceful with this, they always seemed to know precisely what to say and it was never this much of a problem. This would be so much easier if Cullen spoke Dalish. She could use her own words instead of trying to think and speak without the constant internal translation going on.

One hand on her elbow and the other grasping her hand, pulling her out of her anxious thoughts. “I didn’t think it was possible.”

Suddenly, it all felt easier.

She squeezed his hand, “I never knew what to say or do about any of this.”

He tilted up her chin just as he had done in Orlais, when he had promised to keep the slurs a bay. “It seems too much to ask… but I want to-”

“Commander!” 

Enasal felt her face flush as the moment broke and she took a step back from him. Cullen stood straight and snapped his head around to look at the approaching man - one of Leliana’s people.

“Forgive me, Ser, I had trouble finding you. Leliana has a report for you-.” He came to a full stop, looking back and forth between Enasal and Cullen. It clicked that it was the Inquisitor, face turned away and ears red.

_ “What?”  _

The man offered the papers feebly, “She said ‘without delay’, Commander. She needs a response from… you…”

Neither the Commander nor the Inquisitor spoke.

“Or,” The soldier said, feet already shuffling away, “Or, I could put it on your desk.” He was already half-way to Cullen’s office by the end of his sentence. He ran the rest of the distance, and reappeared on the other side of the building, walking as fast as he could.

“You should… go read that.” Enasal stole a quick glance upward before looking away and letting out a nervous laugh, “It’s probably important. Since it’s from Leliana and all.”

Enasal was wringing her hands, bobbing up and down on her toes as she stared someone onto the floor. She looked as though she were counting her breaths.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, “I should go.”

Gentle fingers cradled her left hand, stealing away the steady throb of the mark that she so-often forgot. She looked up at him, trying to think of something to say. 

“Are you alright?”

She nodded, but was still staring into the distance.

“Here, sit.” He lowered himself down to the stone floor, easing her down beside him. The stone was cold underneath, and he noticed her arms wrapped around herself. “Are you cold?”

She shook her head, “No, I’m just…” She trailed off.

“That’s alright.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry about.” 

She let out a deep breath, slowly, taking her time and counting.

“I’m sorry.” She repeated.

Cullen chuckled. “Stop apologizing. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He took her hand again and forced a smile, “Now, Leliana’s  _ agent _ -”

She laughed and wiped at her eyes - she must have started crying at some point. She looked up at him and shook her head, “I'm sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

He smiled and shook his head, “I  _ thought _ that might be it.” He nodded towards their entertained hands, “Is this alright?”

When she nodded, Cullen leaned back against the wall and heaved a sigh, “That is… a relief.”

“I really am-”

“Stop.” He said, brushing a few curls out her eyes, “Apologizing,”

“Sorry.” She stopped herself, leaning her face into his hand, “I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

“There’s no ‘supposed to’, it’s just...what happens.”

She nodded but repeated before she could stop herself, “I’m sorry.”

“Enasal…” He tilted her face towards him, “You’re not doing anything wrong.”

His eyes reminded her of honey.

“I’ve… wanted to do this since Orlais.”

Warm and sweet, a single, slow kiss before he pulled away, keeping his forehead touched to hers and letting out a sigh, “That was… nice.” He smiled, “Are you alright?”

Enasal smiled and laughed, touching her fingers to her lips before nodding.

Relief flooded him and he chuckled again, “Good.” He shrugged and whispered, “Again?”

Having forgotten both Common and Dalish, all she could do was laugh and nod


	80. Chapter 80

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal is keyed-in to the treacherous waters of romance when you're also trying to lead an Inquisition.

Enasal managed to make it to the tavern before the rest of her friends. She hadn’t slept much the night before, too many thoughts and emotions swirling around in her head. She had finally gotten up when she noticed tears in her own eyes. 

Nothing sad or angry, but she suddenly felt  _ so much _ it was all overwhelming. 

She gave herself time to shed tears until she felt better. Vivienne had once scolded her for holding it all back, “No dear,” She had said, “Don’t swallow your tears, not when you’re away from noble eyes, it isn’t good for you. You just cry, dear.”

The tears certainly made her feel better, more calm and not so overwhelmed.

Once she had given her eyes time to clear, she grabbed one of her caplets - blue with small birds flying along the border, took some time for a quick prayer to her gods, and was out the door.

Not quite as observant as usual, she didn’t notice Varric until she felt a hand on her head and laughter, “There’s my girl.”

She sat up and batted his hand away with a laugh, “Good morning!”

He sat across from her, “I’m guessing by the size of your grin, the rumors are true!”

Enasal winced, “Rumors?”

Varric laughed, “You can’t go kissing on someone in the battlements and expect people not to notice.” He shrugged, “It spread through the guards like wildfire, and then to everyone else.”

“And…” She shifted in her seat, “How did you find out?”

“It was mentioned to me on my way over here.” He said. 

An arm slung over her shoulder and she recognized Krem’s laugh “And how  _ is _ the little object of our Commander’s affection this morning?”

Enasal wiggled away, “I have a  _ lot _ of ‘Krem’ puns stored in my brain, and I could start keying Bull into them too.”

“You’re evil.” He laughed, “Was it as bad as you thought it was going to be?”

Enasal glanced away, cheeks and ears flushed red, “It took awhile to… there was a lot of beating… a tree?” She snapped her fingers.

“Bush.” Varric supplied, “Beating around the bush.”

“That.” She confirmed.

Krem laughed and lightly tapped his fist onto Enasal’s head, “Happy for you, En.”

She smiled, “Thanks Krem”

He repeated the gesture before taking his usual spot to wait for Bull.

“That being said,” Varric said, his eyes on the roll of paper in front of him, “I need you to promise me something.”

Enasal tilted her head to the side in question.

He leaned forward, “Don’t try to fix him, Seastorm. That’s not your job.”

She opened her mouth to argue but he cut her off.

“That’s  _ his _ job, Seastorm. Not yours.”

Her shoulders sagged, “But I want to help him.”

“I didn’t say you couldn’t help him.” Varric said, “Just try to remember, sometimes things aren’t ‘fixed’ as much as they’re ‘easier to live with’.” He pointed at her, a gesture usually used in jest, but Enasal had a feeling it was serious, “No amount of you saying ‘I believe in you’ is going to fix it - that works for surface level shit, but not this.”

“But, Varric-”

He leaned back, “Look, you both have your issues so you’re going to need to be careful about not ignoring your own.”

“Varric-”

“How many times have I made you promise me something?” 

She sighed, “Never.”

“Then give me this one so I can sleep at night. Don’t make me worry about you.”

“Alright,” She smiled, “I promise, Varric.”

“Good.” He stood and grinned at her, “I’ll be scarce the next few days, Ruffles has me talking to some people. Since I’ve dabbled with the carta, it would seem I’m the best dwarf for the purpose.”

“You don’t  _ dabble,  _ you have a spy network.” 

“Well, you don’t have to  _ tell _ everyone.”

“I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”

He shook his head, grin included, “I’ll see you at dinner, Seastorm.”

Enasal still had some time before she reported to Solas. They had previously been studying the fade every other day, but since he returned he had insisted meeting every day. He wanted to practice summoning and controlling the fade images. 

It was slow going.

Enasal ate the last few bites and took off, wondering what to do with her free time. She thought about going to chat with the Chargers, but she wasn't quite ready for the inevitable teasing. If the entire guard knew, and Krem knew, then the Chargers knew.

"Enasal, darling, I've been looking for you!"

So much for free time.

Enasal turned and waved, "Madame Vivienne, good morning!"

"Good morning, my dear.". She laughed and flashed a smile, "I was going to make some more tea, would you join me?"

Enasal nodded - it would be nice to dip away from prying eyes.

A few boxes were on one of the small tables in Vivienne's room. Enasal sat down and began looking through them.

Still smiling, Vivienne sat opposite of her. 

Enasal laughed, "By the way, do you remember when I gave Solas some of the tea I made?"

"Of course, darling." She pulled out a bundle of mint leaves and breathed in the smell. "You were so proud."

She grinned a sheepish grin, "He hates tea."

"No!" Vivienne laughed.

"He does!" She laughed, "Can't stand it."

Vivienne had started pulling the leaves from their stems -  _ so  _ carefully as to not damage the leaves, "I  _ do  _ hope he was gentle with you about it." She shook her head, "That man is too hard on you."

Enasal shrugged, "You just have to get to know him."

"My dear, an errant temper is becoming of  _ no one. _ "

She made a non-committal noise and pulled out a few cinnamon sticks, wondering what she could use with it.

"Now, Enasal, there  _ is  _ something I wish to discuss with you."

Oh no.

"I heard from dear Annason about your recent tryst with Commander Cullen." She smiled, but there was a serious tone to her voice, "And while I can't say I'm surprised - he was so doting at my salon - I will say that you must take care in not tarnishing your  _ or  _ the Inquisition's reputation."

Enasal shook her head, "Tarnish?"

"Ruin it." 

"I could… ruin the Inquisition's reputation?"

Vivienne nodded gravely, "Of course, my dear! Too much affection in the wrong place? Darling, too much  _ time _ together while nobles are about could make it seem as though you are not giving the proper attention to the Inquisition."

She noticed Enasal's face and added, "I highly doubt it's as bad as you think."

Enasal's shoulders dropped, "Madame Vivienne, this is already…" She skimmed through her vocabulary in hopes of finding a better word. She sighed, "It's… a little scary."

Vivienne laughed, "I'm sure! But from one powerful woman to another, there are ways to handle such things."

"You just said that affection and spending time together could ruin everything."

"Oh, _ Enasal." _ She stood, "Come, we can stand on the balcony and get some air." 

Enasal sighed, anxiety swirling in her stomach. As she passed by Vivienne the woman laid a hand on her back and stood with her, staying quiet for a few moments. 

"My dear, you hold a weapon in your hands." She said, "With the right steps, you can use this to win favor in court."

"We aren't  _ at _ court." Enasal looked up, shaking her head.

"That is true, but we have a great many nobles in Skyhold. Many either attend court or have the ear of someone who  _ does _ ." She said, “It’s all about time and place, my dear - and knowing when to show your hand.” Her smile changed, and her eyes gave a glint, “Enasal, you must make an effort to keep this a secret among nobles - but let yourself slip. Nobles  _ love _ a little scandal.”

“Wait.” Enasal shook her head, “I should keep it secret… but let things slip?”

“Of course.”

“That makes no sense!”

“Now, dear, don’t get flustered.” She smiled, “That’s why I’m here. We’ll work together until you and your Commander are ready. People are fascinated by you - and therefore everyone around you.” 

Vivienne looked down at Enasal, heaving a sigh, “I see I’ve worried you, my dear. We’ll work on this later.” She laid a hand on her shoulder again, “Don’t concern yourself.”

“So, at Skyhold I’ll be fine?”

“Save for the grand hall or the guest rooms, darling. Just use common sense.” 

“Madame Vivienne, did you know I’ve been cursing in Dalish and never knew it? Shiral never told me they were curses.  _ Solas _ had to point it out to me. I think you’re overestimating my abilities.”

Vivienne laughed, “You’ll be fine, darling. Speaking of Solas, when were you to see him?”

Enasal’s eyes widened and she took off, “Now! Thank you, Madame Vivienne!”

Behind her, Vivienne called out, “Do try to have fun, my dear!”


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Solas guides Enasal in practice exercises to help control her mark.

[ Balamb Garden ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCiFDAuZi0E)

When Enasal entered the rotunda, a sleeping mat was on the floor and Solas was busy gathering some herbs. Enasal assumed they were to help her sleep - when she slept as a result of magic, her limited focus plummeted. 

Solas was determined to find a way to improve her focus.

When she came in he smiled and nodded - although something about his smile  _ seemed  _ like a smirk.

“Good morning,  _ ma da’len. _ ”

“Good morning,  _ dirthalen _ .”

She nodded to the mat, “Are we going to be in the Fade for awhile?”

"Not yet. Let's see how far along we can get with the mark.”

She nodded, somewhat surprised he hadn't mentioned Skyhold’s favorite new rumor. Either he didn't know or he had simply chosen to not to say anything. 

Enasal was pretty sure he knew.

According to Varric - everyone knew. If someone had told Varric, someone had probably told Solas.

"Sit,  _ ma dalen." _

As Solas went over what he had planned for them, Enasal found a good spot on the floor and sat down.

Her teacher started by shutting all the doors - he took time to call up to Dorian to ask if he would block off the door to the rotunda to avoid more distractions. That meant he was trying to quiet the room - as much as you can quiet it with a library above and a murder of crows above that. 

That meant she would be sitting quietly for… Creators know how long.

In a final moment of preparation, Solas turned his attention to the walls of the room, starting a shimmering barrier over the walls and closing the ceiling. It didn’t seem like it dampened the noise coming from above. Maybe he was concerned about something falling from the upper floors.

Solas chucked as he sat across from her. "Disappointed?"

"You said you'd help me do those mark animals again."

He shook his head as a smile appeared on his face, "You can only call forth a small wisp of fade and still have no control over the barriers you create." He leaned forward, “Think of it as your goal. Now, sit and calm your body.”

Deep breaths and losing limbs. Don’t squint your eyes or clench your jaw. Mind your shoulders and try not to bounce.

Relax.

“Good, now your mind. Breath, and focus on nothing else.” He chuckled and Enasal opened an eye. “Close it.”

She closed her eyes and gave them a roll, her deed covered by her eyelids.

“Focus,  _ ma dalen.” _

Enasal caught the irritated sigh before it left her mouth. He was right, if she wanted to do anything outside of closing rifts with the mark, then she needed to learn.

“Good. Now, listen closely. Take a breath and count to ten, then  _ slowly _ release it, imagine your breath going through your arm and to the mark -  _ will _ it to push through and out of the mark.”

Enasal held her hand out, following his directions.

Nothing.

She opened her eyes and looked down at her hand, frowning.

Solas chuckled, “I did not expect success on the first try.” He leaned down a bit, coming eye-to-eye with her, “Don’t get flustered.”

Enasal tried a second time, but she was impatient. She so much wanted to do what _he_ could do. Even if it was a “silly parlour trick” as he called it.

“Your arm is shaking, lay it on your leg.” He said, “You need no distractions.”

Above, the crows began chattering to each other, loud and laughing.

A book was dropped in the library, letting out a resounding  _ thunk.  _ Dorian’s voice followed, shouting for the culprit to be more careful.

Solas sighed, “I think we’ll need to find a… more secluded area.”

Enasal opened her eyes and nodded. “Can we go to the fade?”

Solas shook his head, “We will still practice here for today - perhaps this will be a good exercise.”

Her shoulders slumped.

“You might have managed a  _ slight  _ wisp.” He offered.

“I did?”

“A small amount, I doubt you noticed.”

A knock echoed around the room and Solas muttered, “What point is a door…”

He got up and looked down at her, “Keep practicing.”

Enasal tilted her head back and forth in acknowledgment.

He glanced back at her a final time - that small wisp of Fade swirled lazily around in her hand. 

She was coming along.

With care to avoid excess noise, Solas opened the door. He nodded and said in a low voice, “Good afternoon, Commander.”

It was easy for Cullen to see into the rotunda, and his eyes were trained on Enasal, cradling fade material and sitting so still. Solas glanced back at her, a sudden surge of pride at how well she was maintaining her focus. He smiled as he nodded to Cullen, “Do you like it, Commander?” He asked, “A trick I devised to help Enasal learn to better control the mark. It allows her to practice her concentration without any danger or accidents.” He paused, “For the most part.”

He took a second look and Enasal was smiling. Eyes still closed, of course, but still smiling. 

Solas leaned back into the room, “Enasal, you’re supposed to be focusing - you must try to ignore anything that might happen around you.

Enasal attempted to set her jaw, but the suppressed smile became more obvious.

With a sigh, Solas showed Cullen out, looking over his shoulder, “One moment, Enasal. Stay there and keep going.”

“Shhh.” Enasal said, “I’m focusing.”

“Cheeky,  _ da’len. _ ” 

With the door firmly closed behind him, Solas shook his head, “It seemed a good place. Did you notice the barriers? If anything were to happen, they should hold back anything Enasal is capable of doing. For now.”

It had been such a surprising image - Enasal perched on the ground, bathed in a dull green light that swirled from her palm. Cullen nodded toward the closed door, “How long has she been able to do that?”

“Since her return from Haven.”

Cullen shifted and frowned. He didn’t like thinking of that night. “What do you think she’s so capable of to need barriers?”

The cheer that had been in Solas’ voice dropped. He frowned and his brow furrowed, “Not long ago Enasal had no traces of magic. In that short time, she is grasping for control for a newfound ability to create and manipulate barriers.” His smile was weak as he shrugged, “Commander, I have no idea what Enasal is capable of.”

“That sounds like something I should be concerned about.”

“For now, we simply watch.” He tilted his head, “But I digress. How can I help you, Commander? Have your soldiers found something strange again?”

“I was… I have some time before a meeting, “I was going to-”

“Ah.” Solas said, nodding, “I see. I’ll send her along to you when we finish. Although it might be some hours.”

“That’s not - thank you, Solas.”

Solas nodded, “Now, Commander, if I might get back to my student.” He chuckled, “You distract her.”


	82. Chapter 82

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh-oh.  
> Shiral found out.  
> RIP Cullen.  
> (Metaphorically)

Shiral was lucky that Cullen was unarmed. 

It wasn’t even something she’d considered, that startling him might get her a knee-jerk reaction of a blade to her throat. It was something she had been warned of - try not to startle a soldier when they were on their own.

But she was angry, and maybe jealous as well. How was Enasal faring with all this? It wasn’t like her to take so many risks - she  _ liked _ being by herself.

With good fortune on her side, she stormed up to him and shoved him. It did little but cause a stumble and a glance behind him.

“Shiral?”

“How dare you!” 

Another shove.

From the corner of her eye, Shiral saw the other two advisors, not quite as bad as this one, but more than content to send her little sister out into the dangerous world over and over again.

This time, she pointed at him, “She’s naive!” She shouted, “You can’t just-” 

“Lower your voice.” Cullen said, forcing his voice to be calm. It seemed the military training would help in this.

“She’s just a  _ little girl!” _

“Shiral,” Cullen began, “I’m unsure when you are right now. Enasal is a grown woman, nearly twenty-five, which she’s told me is an important age in your clan.”

“We mark quarter-centuries, as our ancestors once did.” She hissed, “And to make it worse, you’re  _ taking her _ from our people!”

“Your people hate her!”

“No, our  _ clan _ does, but once she’s bonded and among a different clan, they will love her and she will be safe!”

Cullen usually kept his temper well, but it was waning.

She pointed again, clenching her teeth between words, “She is  _ not _ equipped for any of this!” Her fists had begun to clench, “Enasal is sensitive, she’s delicate and needs to be protected and taken care of -  _ she cannot function on her own!” _

“Shiral, she’s leading the Inquisition!”

“She’s traumatized! And you’re taking advantage of her!”

Anger was beginning to mix with his irritation.

“I would  _ not _ do that.”

Simple, straight, to the point. Leave no room for her to argue back.

It didn’t work.

“What is wrong with all of you?” She asked, throwing her arms around the area, “You people take something  _ perfectly  _ good and you destroy it!”

“Shiral, she’s not been destroyed.”

“She  _ never _ fought me on things until she came here!” She snapped, “She rarely argued, she did as she was told so she could stay  _ safe!” _

Cullen forced a deep breath, “She’s trying to be independent. You’ve never allowed her to take care of herself, and now that she  _ can _ she doesn’t want to go back to that.” He rubbed his temples, “You’re not her mother, you’re her sister-”

“I  _ raised _ that child!” It was nearly a growl. The tone and the viciousness worried him. He knew that Shiral had had an exceptionally difficult life as well. Was that what made her cling so dearly to the idea of a much younger Enasal? Or was there some sort of problem with her mind?

Should he talk to Enasal about it?

No… not yet. He would have Leliana’s people keep a closer eye on her.

He held up his hands, “I understand, I apologize. But you don’t have to take care of her anymore.” He crossed his arms over his chest, “She still needs a great deal of help, but she’s smart and is always learning. All she needs now is time.”

Shiral’s nose crinkled in obvious distaste, “And I’m sure you’ll ‘help’ her?”

“In any way I can.” He ignored the insinuation. It was utter nonsense - a first kiss the night before and Shiral was already up in arms.

She repeated the same occasion, “You are taking advantage of a traumatized and innocent young girl!”

Up in the battlements, Josephine leaned toward Leliana, “Send one of your people to Blackwall, and tell him we’re sending Shiral his way. Ask him to try to calm her and give her something to do. He is excellent at calming a room.”

Leliana nodded, brow knit with worry, “I’ll go now, are you alright to talk to her, Josie?”

She nodded and went down the stairs as quickly as her dignity would allow. Cullen turned to her, relief on his face.

Josephine pretended to consult her clipboard, “Shiral, Ser Blackwall was looking for you. He needs some assistance and thought you might enjoy the project.”

At first, she didn’t move. Her face cracked and whispered, “I don’t understand why you’re changing her.” When she wasn’t answered she turned and marched towards the woodshop, arms crossed of her chest and head down.

“I fear something is…” Cullen searched for the right words, but could come up with a better phrase, “Wrong with her.”

Josephine nodded, slow and thoughtful. “That would explain many things.” She scribbled on her clipboard, “I have some contacts who might be able and willing to help.” She looked up at Cullen, “We can use her status as the Inquisitor’s sister to entice them. The chance to work so close to Enasal might push a wary contact to leave their noble estates.”

Cullen rubbed his forehead again, squeezing his eyes shut, “I was only around for Mia to be involved with anyone once, but even I…” He paused and looked at her, “Was it ever like this among your siblings?”

“The boys teased and made empty threats, but I don’t think they were truly serious.”

“Shiral seems serious.”

“I’ll write to my contacts but it  _ will _ take time. Until then, try to avoid her as much as you can, if you are able.” She said, “If you do see her, do your best to find an excuse to leave. Tell him that you have a meeting with Leliana orf I-”

“When she insinuates that I’m taking advantage of Enasal-”

She shook her head, “I don’t think anything we say will change her mind. For now, I will ask Blackwall to keep an eye on her.”

“Do you think that’s wise?” Cullen asked.

Josephine nodded, “Trust me. I think he’ll fare much better than anyone else.”


	83. Chapter 83

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal and Cullen compare notes, and Dorain gets nosey.

“How many people have talked to you about all this?”

Enasal laughed, “Varric.”

“Of course.” Cullen nodded, “I expected. He didn’t say much to me, but he  _ did  _ point to his crossbow.”

Enasal grinned. “Krem didn’t say much, just congratulations. Solas knows, but he didn't really say anything. And I promise you, if he disapproved, I would have heard about it - in no uncertain terms.” 

Cullen chuckled, “He did the same for me. Said little, but he knows. He says I distract you.”

She laughed.

“Bull as well - I will admit, that surprised me.”

“Why?”

“He doesn’t seem the type.” He tilted his head, “Then again, he continues to petition for a handle on the back of your armor. Says it would be easier to keep you out of trouble.”

“What’d he say?”

“That he was happy if you were happy.” He chuckled, “But if something made you unhappy then  _ he _ would be unhappy.”

Enasal rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh, “Vivienne talked to me, too. __ She made sure to let me know that a single step could ruin the Inquisition.”

“Josephine for me.” He said, “I’ve been given a list of things I shouldn’t do - it would seem I don’t have common sense.”

Enasal sighed and shook her head, “At least you have some idea of what to do. I’m learning all this from scratch.”

“Don’t concern yourself.” He assured her.

Enasal leaned against him, “I think I’ve been lucky with the friends I’ve made - they rally around me when things go wrong.” She looked at him, “They do their best to make sure I don’t feel too embarrassed when I mess up.”

It hit Cullen that it was such an odd thing, how he was mesmerized by her. He had never particularly liked red hair or freckles, and she was so reckless and loud. But there she was, chattering on while he hung on every word.

“There’s no sense in shaming you for what you don’t know.”

Enasal tilted her head back and forth, “How do you feel about all of Skyhold talking about us?”

He used his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose, “I’d rather my - our private affairs remain that way. But it can’t be helped.” He leaned down to kiss her forehead, causing her to burst out laughing - it was endearing. “On the hand, if there were nothing here for people to gossip about, I would regret it more.”

Enasal had lost her smile, she reached up to touch her ears, “You know, people will say things about me - and they’ll say things to you because of it.”

He took on her hands and squeezed it, “I hadn’t considered. Elves aren’t treated differently in the circles I served. I’d… Care for you no matter what you were.”

She still frowned, “Some of the Dalish… they don’t like this. Some clans don’t mind as much, but… you might get a little backlash.”

“I never knew that.”

“Our numbers dwindle every year.” She said, “You’ll be accused of taking me away from them and robbing them of possible elven offspring.”

“Does... that bother  _ you _ ?” He asked, “That seems quite a bit more for you to worry about. I don’t want to make things with your people any harder than they need to be.”

“Hush, you.” Enasal laughed, “I’m happy.”

Cullen sighed, relieved. “Enasal, it’s been a long time since I”ve wanted anyone in my life. I wasn’t expecting to find that in the midst of a war.”

“Cullen, up until I came to Inquisition, it was all about survival.” She said, “Just… try not to die. I didn’t have a single expectation _. _ ” She said, 

“And yet, here you are.”

“Here I am.”

He smiled and again kissed her forehead before kissing her lips - he could feel her smiling. 

He had to tell her eventually.

“I… talked to your sister as well.”

Enasal rubbed her temples, “I’m so sorry-”

“Don’t. I’ll grit my teeth.”

“Do you want me to talk to her?”

“I want you to try not to worry.” He said, “She’ll calm down eventually.”

Enasal tilted her head back and forth, “I hope you’re right.”

Cullen shifted his weight, “Enasal, I work with Josephine and Leliana every day of my life - I think I can handle your sister.”

She finally laughed.

He offered a hand to help her up, “I really must get back to work.” He said. “I’ll see you for our walk?”

“Every day.”

A final kiss on her forehead before he headed off.

Exceptionally happy with her life, Enasal looked around as she thought about what to do. In the end, she decided to visit the library. She had poured over the dragonskin book in her own room, but thought it might be easier to manage the hefty volume on one of the library tables.

Besides, she knew Dorian was bursting to ask questions.

“Tiniest elf!” He called when she came up the chairs, book in hand. “And how  _ is  _ the little lovebird this morning.”

She grinned,  _ “Fine _ , Dorian.”

“Ah, are you fine, or are you  _ fine?” _

“I’m  _ trying  _ to read this book.” She said as she hefted the book onto one of the tables. “I don’t have a desk big enough and I think it might dent my bed.”

Dorian leaned on the table,  _ “So?” _

Enasal opened the book, turning each large page with care, “ _ So _ , what?”

If he was going to be nosy, she was going to drag it out.

“Oh, you  _ know what. _ ” He said, “You can’t expect for me to do so much work and not get any gossip out of it. I  _ hand-picked  _ that book for you, Enasal. Do you have any idea how many romances I had to read through to find the perfect one? Oh, it was exhausting.” He pretends to wipe sweat from his forehead.

Finally finding the page she was looking for, Enasal pulled her reading stick out of her pocket and began lining up the first line, “Alright, what do you want?”

“Aren’t you going to tell me about it?”

Enasal laughed, “I will, if you tell me what you want to know!”

“You’re not any fun today.”

“I don’t know what you want from me!” 

Dorian shook his head, “I’ll spell it out. What happened?”

“How do you figure?”

He sighed, “What happened after you two slunk out-”

“We didn’t  _ slunk- _ ”

_ “Not _ the proper conjugation, Enasal.” He corrected her.

“Fine… whatever it is.”

Dorain laughed, “Fine, we can drag this out all day.”

Too bad she was already doing that.

Enasal looked up from her book, “We walked around and talked, I made a complete idiot of myself - I completely forgot Common by the end of it.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, “That’s all I get?”

“...It isn’t?”

“I want  _ details!” _ He said, “How else am I supposed to participate in the first big scandal of the Inquisition?”

“It’s not a scandal.” She argued, but she tilted her head in thought, “He was… very understanding.”

Dorain heaved a sigh and dropped his arms to his sides, “Oh, what am I supposed to do with that?” He shook his head, “Oh, well. I suppose I’ll make something up.”

Enasal shook her head, trying not to smile too hard as she poured over her book.


	84. Chapter 84

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blackwall's no-nonsense attitude is perfect for dealing with Shiral.

Blackwall had managed to set a few crates on a low table in the woodshop before Shiral arrived. He greeted her with little ceremony and nodded towards the crates, “It was suggested to me that you need to keep your hands busy. Idle hands, they say.”

Shiral looked at the crates silently. It was clear she was being punished, but she was unsure as to how. She had, after all, struck at the Inquisition’s commander.

Blackwall started pulling things from the crates, setting them onto his workbench. “I’ve done all the carving.” He said, “All that is left to do now is putting them together.”

Shiral stole a glance at him before picking up a piece and turning it around in her hands. “What’s  _ this?” _

She hadn’t meant to sound so dismissive, but it was too late now.

If he was offended, Blackwall showed no signs of it, “Toys. Skyhold sees more and more children every day. Often they come through the gates afraid. A simple toy as they come in might put them at ease. They need to know that this is their home as well.”

This wasn’t an awful punishment.

Shiral examined the piece. It was not much bigger than her hand and was cut into a gentle curve. “And what do I do with this?”

“It’s a rocker.” He nodded towards yet another bench, “You’ll see some horses and some pegs. Bring them here and I’ll show you how to hammer it in.” He pulled two mallets from the shelves behind him, handing one to Shiral and turning the horse on its side. “It won’t go in willingly, that’s what the mallet’s for.” He did a few preemptive taps before delivering a series of firm hits, forcing the pieces together. “There. Like that.”

Shiral frowned, but took the pieces and balanced them together. The hammer glanced off the peg and dented part of the horse.

“That’s alright.” He said, “Gather it all up and try again.”

Shiral stared at him.

“Are you giving up?”

Shiral scooped up the peg and tried to line it up again.

Blackwall nodded, “Don’t swing with your arm so much. Use the mallet’s weight, let it do the work for you.”

This time, she managed to hammer it in, but the peg was stuck in a slight angle. Shiral muttered something in Dalish.

“It doesn’t care if you curse at it.” Blackwall said, taking the jammed toy and using a smaller wedge to knock the peg back out. “Try again.”

The work was overall silent. Occasionally Blackwall stopped to encourage Shiral on when he heard her muttering and cursing. He had heard enough Dalish from Enasal to know when she was swearing. At the end of the day, Shiral had successfully put rockers on three horses, wheels on two ducks, and jointed tails on seven mabari.

“Decent work.” Blackwall gave a satisfied nod, “I might call for you again, you show promise. I could show you how to carve. They say creating is good for the soul.”

“I sew things for my sister.”

“You need to do things that don’t involve your sister.” 

“I’m not here for anything else.” She argued.

Blackwall frowned, “Sitting on your hands without contribution is no way to be.”

“And what do you suggest I do?”

He was starting to tidy the shop, gathering the parts back into their respective crates and stacking them, “I overheard your sister telling someone that she’s tried to get you to start selling the clothes you make. That would bring commerce to Skyhold.”

Shiral shrugged, eyes trained on a wood-curl on the floor.

“You’re good with a bow, nearly took off the Commander’s ear, I heard.” The curl was swept away as Blackwall started sweeping the floor, “And I heard Leliana was going to train you. A good archer is always needed in the military.”

“I’m not  _ in _ the military.”

“Learn a trade. Woodworking seems to suit you.” When she didn’t answer, Blackwall shook his head, “If you don’t want it, I won’t beg you. If you decide you want to learn something, I’ll be here.”

Shiral looked him up and down, eyes squinted in suspicion as she let herself out of the shop. 


	85. Chapter 85

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varric invites Enasal to meet an old friend.

Varric was sitting with some of the Chargers when Enasal came in. It was automatic to go straight over and greet her friends. She thumped Krem on the side of his head before sitting down. “Evening, everyone.”

Krem laughed, “Still gracing us with your presence, I see?”

Enasal nodded, “Varric and I always sit together - and sometimes we allow you to sit with us if we’re feeling  _ very  _ generous.” She had eaten dinner with Varric nearly every night since she arrived in Haven. A few times she had seen him sitting at a different table, but as soon as he saw her looking around to find another spot, he would call her over and laugh. 

“What are you doing, Seastorm?” He would say, “Get over here.”

It felt good to always have a place.

The evening was filled with teasing galore and lots of laughs. Bull eventually told the Chargers that it was enough, claiming they were going to ruin the whole event for Enasal. She grinned at Bull, “I heard you talked to Cullen.”

Bull gave a vague sort of nod, clearly interested in his food, “Of course I did - gotta look after my Boss.” When Enasal continued to stare at him, trying not to smile, Bull chuckled, “I was nice. Just let him know what the deal was going to be.”

Varric laughed.

Krem had called for some drinks and mugs were being passed around. Varric patted her on the back and said, “Need to borrow you for a few minutes. We’ll come right back.”

Enasal heaved a sigh and followed Varric out of the calendar. “Varric, we’ve  _ already  _ talked about this.”

“This has nothing to do with you and Curly,” He said, “Do you ever stop thinking about him?”

She glared.

“I’m shitting you, stop the pouting.” He said, clapping her on the back, “Remember that friend I told you about?”

Enasal scoured her memory, “When we were rebuilding Skyhold?”

“When  _ you _ were named Inquisitor.” 

She nodded.

“Well, my friend wants to meet you. She’s in the area and was hoping she could see you.”

Enasal snapped her fingers, “The friend who fought Corypheus?”

“That’s the one.” Varric grinned, “But, it’s better for this to be in private, I don’t want to cause a riot.” 

Enasal tilted her head to the side.

“Midnight at the Crow’s Nest.” He said, “Don’t worry, I’ll be right there with you.”

Enasal clapped her hands together, “Of course!”

“Ready to go get some drinks?” 

“Yes! But I can’t stay too long,” She said, “I’m meeting Cullen for our walk.”

Varric laughed and shook his head, “Of course you are.” 


	86. Chapter 86

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enasal meets a very snarky, very drunk, temporarily snippy Hawke.

Empty bottles littered the table where Varric and a dark-haired woman sat. A staff sat by the woman’s chair, carelessly tossed aside as they laughed and shouted at one another.

They were both laughing loudly and at length - clearly uninhibited by the alcohol. It seemed like a private moment that she shouldn’t interrupt.

As always, Varric raised his hand in greeting and waved her over. He clapped a hand on her shoulder, “This is Seastorm - known to some as her most Inquisitorialness.” 

“What is  _ with _ you and adopting little lost kittens?” The woman laughed, “Are you going to tell me her  _ real  _ name?” The woman asked, getting up from her chair.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about - besides, she’s more like a puppy.”

“Enasal.” She said, nodding her head, “My name is Enasal.”

Varric got up and stood beside her, “Seastorm, meet Glory Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall.”

“And he  _ knows  _ I don’t go by title much anymore.” Hawke said.

Varric waved her away, “You have no appreciation for the dramatic.” He put a hand on Enasal’s shoulder again, this time jousting her a bit, “I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. We did fight him, after all.” 

Enasal shook her head, “We?”

Varric nodded and sat back down, finding an unfinished bottle and throwing it back.

Hawke leaned forward, “Listen bitsy, I’ll give you some advice. My advice has the nasty side-effect of exploding Chantries and causing civil war.”

Varric passed a flask to Enasal. “You’re going to need this. Come on this isn’t something you talk about sober. Not to suggest you’ve ever made any important decisions while drunk, Seastorm.”

The smell made her eyes water and the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end. The taste sent her sputtering and she coughed out, “Hush you.” She handed it back, hoping he’d never pass it back to her again, “I read  Tale of the Champion .”

Varric chuckled,  _ “You _ read that?” I thought you read  Hard in Hightown ”

Enasal rolled her eyes, “I can read more than one book, Varric.”

He clapped her on the back, “See what I’m talking about?”

But Hawke had turned her gaze to the bottle she held in her hands, “Listen… I know you think I have some sort of key to defeating Corypheus, but that’s just not true.

Enasal leaned forward, “But you’ve  _ fought him _ . Can’t you tell me anything?”

Hawke shrugged and took a drink, “Well, you’ve already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I don’t know if I can offer much else.”

“Anything.” Enasal begged, “I saw what happens if he wins - he’s practically a god with an army of demons and possessed templars-”

Even from across the table, Enasal saw Hawke’s knuckles whiten around the bottle.

Varric winced, “I wouldn’t say the t-word around her.”

“Templar?” Enasal asked.

“Andraste’s  _ knickers,  _ Seastorm.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” She said, “I won’t say it anymore.”

Hawke thunked her head on the table a few times before sitting back up and gazing around the room. She got up from her chair and began looking at the objects hanging on the walls and sitting on high shelves. “Varric? Does this remind you of the Hanged Man?”

Varric nodded, “It does have a sort of chaotic charm to it. Cleaner though.”

In a tired voice, Hawke responded in a faux Orleasian accent, “Oh, but ze Hanged Man is so  _ filthy _ .” It seemed an automatic response, as there was little cheer in her voice.

Varric chuckled, but it too, seemed hollow - like he was only laughing out of sheer habit. 

Hawke returned to the table, collapsing into the chair, “I used to love it there. Wicked Grace and drinks. Staying up until dawn.” She frowned, “But people started to recognize me. Then people starting coming in to see me. It kept getting more and more crowded, chock full of people who were looking to me to keep them safe and solve all their problems.” She shook her head, “It wasn’t the Hanged Man by the time I left.”

Enasal tilted her head back and forth, “Our tavern’s gotten more crowded lately - but I think that’s more about Varric.”

“It’s about you, Seastorm.” He laughed and pointed at her, “People tend to respect her privacy pretty well. Although it might not be respect - might just be Tiny and Curly-”

“I still don’t believe it.” Hawke shook her head, “Does he even feel?”

Enasal opened her mouth to argue, but Hawke continued, “All I’m saying, is that maybe trusting the idiot who helped her buddy blow up a Chantry isn’t the best person to take advice from. A lot of people died because of me.”

“Did you hear about what happened in Haven?” Enasal asked.

Hawked looked at her and nodded, “I did. My condolences.” 

“The Inquisition’s made a lot of mistakes, too.” Enasal said, “Dangerous, life-taking mistakes.”

The wording brought a smile to Hawke’s face, but it flickered out almost as quickly. “I heard you were quite the hero that day. Varric claimed you died.”

Enasal shifted in her chair, remembering what Cole had said, “I did.”

“Paid the ultimate sacrifice and then came back? Good on you.” She put the now-empty bottle on the desk and went to one of the racks, turning the bottle over in her hands and muttering, “Maker, I miss Fen.”

Enasal looked at Varric.

“A friend in Kirkwall. Reached into someone’s chest to get a heart to give her.”

Hawke uncorked the bottle and held it up in the air, “This is for you, love. Get those bastards.” She drank a few swallows from the bottle before chucking it across the room with all her might, shattering it against the wall and spraying crimson wine everywhere.

Enasal hoped that she was able to fix her face before Hawke noticed the shock. 

The other woman laughed, “I swear, I’ll clean it up.” She heaved a sigh, still staring at the shattered remains with misty eyes, “What do you want to know?”

“Are you okay to do this?”

Hawke shrugged, “I just want to get this over with.”

Enasal nodded slowly, trying to think of what to ask first, “You and Varric fought Corypheus before?”

“We did. Varric and Anders and…” She looked down at the table, “And Fenris.” She slumped, “We fought him. Fought and killed. The Grey Wardens were holding him in some sort of prison and he used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them.”

Varric nodded, “Corypheus got into their heads. Messed with their minds.” He tapped near his temple, “Turned them against each other.”

“Nearly foaming at the mouth.” Hawke added, “And if they’ve disappeared, that means they’ve probably fallen under his control again.”

Enasal nodded, “Then we’ll free them.”

Hawke grinned at Varric, “She says it just like that.”

“The girl’s a very determined optimist.” 

“But we can do it, can’t we?” Enasal pressed.

“It’s possible.” Hawke said, “But we need to know more.”

Enasal frowned, “You don’t know?”

“I know someone who might be able to help - a warden. He was doing me a favor and looking into something unrelated to all this.” She set the bottle on the table and leaned backward, “Last time we spoke, he mentioned possible corruption in the Warden’s ranks, but I haven’t heard anything since then.”

“Did he disappear, too?” 

“No, no!” Hawke assured, “I wouldn’t have brought him up if it wasn’t an option -  _ damn _ , I’m drunk.” She barked out a laugh and shook her head, “No, he’s hiding out in an old smugglers cave in Crestwood. His name is Stroud.”

“You didn’t know Corypheus was back when you talked to him?”

“I thought he’d been sucked up into the Void where he belongs.”

“Then why were you investigating the Wardens?”

“Because of red lyrium.” She took a deep swig from her bottle, “Magic-hating Chantry rats switched out nice, normal lyrium for the stuff. Varric says they looked just like the ones you’ve dealt with.”

Enasal was feeling a little dizzy. Despite this, she took the bottle Hawke offered and drank some from it - just a bit. She needed to slow down if she was going to keep her senses. 

“Hopefully, Stroud will know something.” Hawke said after another drink, “All of this is on me - I thought I had killed Corypheus and didn’t investigate further. I won’t make the same mistake again.”

“You did enough damage that you thought he was dead. That’s more than we’ve been able to do.”

Hawke rubbed her forehead, “My eyes hurt.”

Varric grinned and put down his bottle, “Can’t have you getting a hangover. I’ll go get us some food.” He nodded toward Enasal, “For our light-weight too. She  _ thinks _ she’s a heavyweight, but she only holds her drink in proportion to her size. And  _ well… _ ”

A laugh bubbled up from Hawke- a sincere, happy laugh. Not a pinch of bitterness or sarcasm. “Like sweet Merril - oh when she drank, goodbye personal space.” 

“She beats Daisy.” Varric chuckled, “You two play nice while I’m gone.”

Hawke murmured something and leaned her head on the table. She watched until he was gone, and looked up at Enasal. “Great, isn’t he?”

Enasal nodded, “He took care of me when I first came to the Inquisition.”

“He does that.”

She sighed and looked down at the table, “I’m lucky to have him. I don’t think I would have made it without him.”

“We both are.” She leaned back, “To this day, I don’t know how he picks people, but once he does there’s no question of it.” She swiped the bottle and held it out to Enasal. “To Varric.”

Enasal mimicked the gesture, “To Varric.” They both drank, and Hawke chucked the bottle across the room as she had done previously.

“I'll clean that up,” She promised, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes against the brightness of the room. 


	87. Chapter 87

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hawke and Varric's relationship is mostly based on smacking each other.  
> And he really did try to keep Hawke from seeing Cullen.

“And then,” Hawke laughed, “An arrow cut  _ right _ through the air and snagged him

at the shoulder - but  _ just his sleeve. _ ”

_ “How?” _ Enasal asked, leaning forward in anticipation.

Hawke cackled, “I don’t know - he was _at_ _least_ a couple of hundred feet away.”

“And it wasn’t a lucky miss?” Enasal asked, “That's where he was aiming?”

_ “He _ said so, and I’m inclined to believe him when it comes to Bianca.”

The door slammed open and Varric shouted, “You think  _ that’s _ a good story?” before dumping an assortment of food on the table. 

He nodded and pointed to Enasal, keeping his eyes on Hawke, “Careful with this one if you go for the meat pie - she bites.”

“I do  _ not!” _ Enasal protested.

Varric laughed and sat down again, “Tell her about fighting the Arishok.”

Hawke groaned and Enasal perked up, “ _ Really?”  _ She tried not to bounce in her chair as she turned back to Hawke, “I thought Varric made that up! You  _ really _ killed him?”

Hawke snatched up a pie with exaggerated speed, “I just ran around and tried to dodge - the bastard was faster than you would think. Set him on fire a few times, gave him a few smacks with some lightning. It was just spell-flinging and running, not a lot of grand planning or skill.”

“It’s still impressive.” Enasal insisted.

Hawke rolled her eyes, “Anders or Merril would have done just as well - Anders would probably do better in all honesty. My idiot friends thought I was better than I am. Anders was the best mage of us all, but he never said anything about it.”

“Varric didn’t say much in his book.” She glanced at him and shrugged, “All he really said was that he was… well, he said he was insane.”

“He  _ wasn’t _ insane.” She cut a look to Varric, “He was just… tired.” She shook her head, “Tired of mages being treated like we shouldn’t exist, tired of so little protection for mages in the circles. You know there are no  _ actual _ laws about how a mage is treated, right? Glorified prison guards can do anything they damn want and unless their knight-whatever-it’s-called cares,  _ nothing _ will happen to them.” 

“Hawke.” Varric warned. “Lay off hat around Seastorm. She knows, she’s heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.”

She ignored him, “Look. Anders is a  _ good person. _ ” She put her bottle down and leaned forward, “We were friends - good friends. He always had time to listen to my concerns or just to be a wall for me to yell at if I needed to blow off steam.” She laughed, “And I got him a cat.”

Hawke’s eyes were misty again, “But he was possessed by a spirit that called itself Justice - and it never stopped screaming at him. Sometimes, I think Anders did what he did partially to shut him up. It must have been awful.” She rubbed her eyes, partly to clean the tears away and partly to wake herself up, “In the end, not even I could get through to him - and I managed to convince the man to not sleep in the sewer. Threw him in one of the extra rooms in our estate - that’s how he found that he suddenly had a cat.”

Enasal leaned forward, “If he’s still alive, the Inquisition could-  _ oh! We could bring him here! _ ”

_ “Bad plan _ .” Varric insisted, “Whether or not everyone agrees, he started this war-”

“It would have happened no matter what.” Hawke argued.

“Either way.” Varric said, “Bringing Blondie here would be killing him.”

“There are tunnels underneath Skyhold.” Enasal offered, “We could keep him hidden and safe, if we just-”

Suddenly, Hawke laughed, “That’s what I told him when I convinced him to stay with me. Fenris wasn’t too pleased about that when he saw Anders making himself at home… I think he was hanging some socks by the fireplace when Fenris walked in.” She sighed, “But he was so often displeased.”

Varric shook his head, “Listen Hawke, I know Blondie was your friend-”

“He’s _ our  _ friend **.”** Hawke snapped back.

“It still stands.” Varric said, “If he hadn’t gone all renegade on us, we could have been back home, fixing shit with the idol and-”

“And I’d still be with my clan.” Enasal interrupted softly.

Varric glanced over at her and rubbed his temples,  _ “Shit _ , Seastorm, that’s not what I meant.” He winced, “Why do you have to make sad eyes at me?”

“It’s true.”

_“Fine_. _Everything_ except that would have been better.”

“You might lose it too if you had Justice screaming in your ear.” Hawke snapped. “We can’t give up on him, Varric. He’d be here now, if it weren’t for the wardens. He’d be proud to lead the mages and fight alongside us - and probably set some Chantry snakes on fire.” She sighed, “He liked that.”

Enasal tried to ignore the comments about the templars. She  _ knew _ awful things had happened - Cullen himself had told her about what went on - and he had since talked to her about some of the other things he had seen and heard. But  _ he _ was trying and she knew a lot of the others were trying too. Even Varric had mentioned that he had done good in Kirkwall after the Chantry explosion.

But for some reason, hearing it hurt her heart, even if some of it was true.

“What do the Wardens have to do with anything?” Enasal asked, trying to steer the conversation away from templars.

“He used to be a Grey Warden.” Hawke explained “Last time we met Corypheus it went… it was bad. He almost got into Ander’s head, almost took him over.” She hadn’t eaten much of her pie, but was steadily ripping the crust off of the edges, “My idiot baby brother’s a Warden, too. I had tried to make them stay together to protect each other. But Anders wants to be the lone wolf and Carver... I don’t think he ever forgave me for letting our mother die.” She paused and cut her eyes towards Enasal, “Did you read _ that  _ part of the book?”

Enasal hunched her shoulders and nodded.

“Go easy on her, Hawke.”

Hawke shoved her food away and her eyes floated over the displays in the room again, “I didn’t want to leave either of them, but with the Wardens clearly affected by something, I had no choice. I saw what Corypheus did to Anders… I can’t let that happen to Carver.”

“Where is he?” Enasal asked, a tentative smile on her face, “We could help.”

“Somewhere in Orlais, and that’s all I’ll say.” She looked among the empty bottles until she found one that had yet to be emptied. “He’d lose it if I sent babysitters after him - he was already pissed that I sent Aveline with him. So, sending him away is the best I could offer.” She laid her head on the table and sighed, “I’m showing you the worst of me, aren’t I? I’m usually in better cheer than this.”

“It’s true.” Varric confirmed, “She’s not usually this insufferable.”

Hawke made a rude gesture.

Varric mimicked it, but clapped her on the back.

Enasal leaned over the table, trying to catch a glimpse of Hawke’s eyes, “That’s okay. I’m not always in good spirits either.”

Hawke shook her head and sat up, rubbing the red mark the table had left on her forehead, “No, it’s not. Let's talk about something else.” She glanced at Varric and grinned, “You want to know what Varric says about you in his letters?”

Enasal perked up at that. “Varric says things about me?”

“ _ Really, _ Hawke?” Varric laughed.

Hawk snorted, “At least once a letter. When he told me about you and the Knight-Commander I thought he was shitting me. Like when he said you screamed at a dragon to assert dominance.” 

Enasal balked, “I didn't, I wasn’t  _ trying to _ … I thought I was going to die, so I just…” She turned to Varric,  _ “How did you know about that?!” _

Hawke laughed, “He was probably behind a snowbank with a pen and paper.”

“It  _ happened?” _ Varric started, “I thought I made that up!” 

“How did you even _ come up  _ with that?” Hawke asked.

“She talks in her sleep.” Varric cackled and flicked one of Enasal’s curls, “When you were unconscious, you were muttering about a dragon and kept saying you could be louder than it. I took it and did a little embellishment.” He covered his face as another bout of laughter took over, “You  _ screamed at a dragon! _ ”

“I thought I was going to die!” She said, “I didn’t want to go out being scared!”

Hawke jerked her thumb at Enasal, “I like this kid. I see why you kept her.”

“She’s a good one.” Varric agreed.

Enasal was ready for a change of subject - she was honestly embarrassed about the accidental truth behind Varric’s tales. Across from her, Hawke had started sorting the empty bottles from the filled ones, and was transferring the empties to a different table. She nudged Varric as she passed, “Nagging feeling that she’d let anyone through the gates.”

Varric nodded, but winked at her, “Yeah, she would. But if anyone put a hand on her they’d have about twenty or so people on them in a blink.” He started counting each finger, listing what he believed each member of their group would do, “And, I’m not going to think about what Chuckles would do, might as well invite nightmares.” He leaned back as his list continued, “And Andraste’s flaming pantaloons,  _ Curly _ .”

Hawke's foot slipped from the edge of the table as she snorted, “I can’t believe it. I  _ still _ can’t believe it, she seems smart!”

“Hey!”

Varric chuckled, “I’ll be the first to admit I’m not thrilled about the whole thing.” He glanced at Enasal and handed her an apple from the pile of food - they had always been her favorite. “But he makes her happy. And she’s a good influence.”

“The rat bastard.” 

Enasal bristled, “He’s not a…” She snapped her fingers, but missed a few snaps in the sudden frustration,  _ “That _ .”

“Well, he  _ was  _ a rat bastard so he’ll be a rat bastard until he proves otherwise.” Hawke argued.

“He’s doing his best.” Enasal insisted.

Varric felt the need to bring back order, “Can we talk about _ your _ beloved’s issues? Ripping hearts out and such.”

“He only did that to slavers.” Hawke argued.

“That’s all  _ you _ know about. You didn’t play Diamondback at his place every Friday - get a few glasses of wine into him and he talked about wanting to do that to all sorts of people. I don’t know if he followed through.” He looked at Enasal as he suppressed a yawn, “What time is it, Seastorm?” 

Enasal stumbled off her stool to look out one of the windows. Varric and Hawke shared grins at the clumsiness.

“It’s...dark?”

Varric laughed, “You’re a treasure, Seastorm.”

She turned around, “I can’t see the sun… no,  _ evune _ !” She looked back at the window and pointed aggressively, “Not sun -  _ evune!” _

“You know how to say ‘ _ moon’! _ ” Varric laughed.

“She’s drunk.” Hawke laughed.

“Aren’t you supposed to meet someone, Seastorm?”

Enasal gave a gasp off realization and slipped into Dalish, chattering as she looked for something around the room.

“It’s under the table.” Varric said.

“You speak Dalish, now?” Hawke asked.

He shrugged, “Between Daisy and her, I’d say I’ve gotten pretty good at it.”

Enasal snatched at her boots, under Varric’s dangling feet, locking them back to her belt and shouting something as she left the door.

Hawke smirked at Varric.

“All I got from that was ‘good night’. I think.” He shrugged, “Or she could be going hunting, hard to tell.”

“You actually have no idea what she’s saying, do you?”

“I heard ‘boots’.” He chuckled.

“Why does she have boots if she doesn’t wear them?”

Varric shrugged, “I… might have guilted her into keeping them with her.”

_ “Maker, _ Varric, you’re a right mother hen.” She laughed, going to the door and flinging it open with a cry of, “Stay safe, bitsy!”

Varric clamored off the chair, “Hawke-” 

But Hawke had already spotted the couple,  _ “Well if it isn’t the rat bastard himself!” _

Shit.

_ “Messere Hawke?!” _

Before things could go too far south, Varric let himself out and stood by his old friend, “Come on back in, we’ve got the Crow’s Nest for the rest of the night and we have a lot of catching up-”

Cullen gestured towards Hawke, “How long have you known about her? Varric we needed-!”

Varric pointed at Enasal, “And what would you do if I was hiding  _ her _ somewhere while people were clamoring to find her?”

Cullen looked down at Enasal, but said nothing.

“That’s what I thought.” He dropped his hands to his sides, “Look, Hawke and I have a lot to catch up on. You two go on - do you really want to be the one to tell Cassandra about all this, Curly?”

Cullen considered only briefly before shaking his head, “Not unless it was my final breath and there was nothing left she could do to me.”

Varric noded, “Alright, Seastorm. What’d you see today?”

Leaning on Cullen, Enasal chirped out, “Hawke!”

Varric tried to hide the grin by rubbing his eyes and Hawke cackled and smacked Varric on his shoulder. Cullen looked down at her, “Enasal, he’s asking you to act like you never met her.”

“Oh!” Enasal nodded adamantly, “We… had drinks?”

“Sounds good.” Varric nodded, “And?” 

“Just us.” Enasal confirmed. She looked up at Cullen, “You don’t drink so you didn’t come.”

Cullen felt a sudden urge not to smile around Hawke, but it tugged at the corner of his lips anyway. “Let’s get you some water. You’ll be miserable tomorrow if we don’t.”

Enasal nodded and gave a final two-handed wave to Hawke.  _ “Dareth Shiral,  _ Hawke!”

Hawke laughed a bit too loud and mimicked the wave, “Bye, bitsy!” She dropped her hands and gave Cullen a good view of her middle finger, “You better be staying out of the henhouse, snake - and make sure that anything Varric writes about,” She made a sweeping gesture towards Enasal and Cullen, “About whatever  _ this  _ is. It better be good because that there’s my new cousin!”

Varric grabbed Hawke’s arm,  _ “Alright _ , Hawke.”

“I henceforth  _ adopt her!” _

“Let’s go, Hawke.”

“Your father and I are very disappointed in your choices!”

“Wait, what?” Varric squinted up at Hawke then shooks his head, “Never mind, I don’t care. Come on.”

With another drunken laugh she smacked him in the chest. While sober she might have been angrier about such the touchy subject of her least favorite templar, but between the alcohol and the familiarity of being around a friendly face, Hawke’s graces were a bit wider, “Since when are you on  _ his _ side?”

Varric wasted no time in smacking her back, “I’m not on his side. But he makes Seastorm happy and  _ seems _ pretty damn dedicated to the girl.”

“Got a bolt with his name on it?”

He laughed,  _ “Only _ if he earns it again.”


End file.
